Am I too petty towards MIL?

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kylnn

Member
I visited my MIL with baby (6mths old), and MIL told baby "say 'papa'! say 'papa!' " Immediately I was buay song! I do 90% of housework + looking after baby yet also work fulltime, yet MIL expects baby to call her son first!

I know I can't force baby to say 'mama' as her first word. Even if she does say 'papa' first, it's just a matter of luck and I don't mind. But hearing MIL telling baby 'call 'papa!' first pissed me off.

Hahahaha.

So wondering if I am too petty?

In the end, I just gave her the EYE and told her and hubby's bro that if she calls 'papa' first, then the papa can go take over all the baby duties in future. Think the bro caught my mood and quickly laughed it off and changed to 'say mama!'.
 
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Angeldust

Member
I think you're probably just in a bad mood, it's really nothing much unless you already have bad blood with your MIL then anything she says will get on your nerves on matter what.
 
pixie

pixie

Member
Pardon me saying this, you do sound a tad bit petty.

My girl of 15-ish months, first person she calls is daddy and my maid. She rarely calls me. I didn't mind it because deep in my heart there is something that can't change - she is my flesh and blood and there is a bonding between us. Every night, she will look for me, so that I will bring her up to the room to put her to sleep. I suppose my girl just refuses to call me but surely she enjoys being with me, especially every evening when I reached home from work, she will give me a big wide smile and wave at me.

My bro who has 3 sons long to have a daughter but he never hit the 'jackpot'. Whenever he sees my girl, he will tease her and asks her to call him 'baba'. I just laugh it off.

I reckon because you have already formed a bad impression of your mother in law, hence, regardless what she does, you dont't see each other eye to eye.

Remember, 家和万事兴 (family harmony).
 
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lyra

Member
Guess what? My baby's first word is "bah!" whenever he sees a bus. No calling papa or mama! 認命le... Lol. But he's starting to call papa now. I guess we tend to think negatively of ppl we dislike, a kind of prejudice... But it's gd that u caught it. I often catch myself thinking negatively of my in laws n I try to discard those thoughts. In laws brought up my wonderful hubby so even though I don't love them naturally as I do to my parents, I shouldn't think too bad of them. It's a kind of filial piety too right?
 
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Alisa

Active Member
Lyra, at least yrs is yr husband, my son's 1st word is Amber, my dog! Hahaha!!! only when he is really too hungry, he will call baba, mama together. when he sees his milk, he say nene.

Kynn, u are just like me before, whatever my mil said, i hate it. to the extend that i hate it as long she speaks! Well... i had closed both eyes le so i try to be nice and no to think anything at all.
 
Shannyang

Shannyang

Member
Babes.. Cheers up okie? For me my PIL still okie. I just dun really like my elder SIL who talk very rough. I scare my son will learn from her. Also, she will smoke in the house too. Lucky we dun stay together one otherwise every day I will anger to death. Haha..
 
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kylnn

Member
Ahaha it could be true that I feel rather antagonistic towards MIL ever since my wedding. Hubby & I dated for 8 yrs, and throughout that time I was ok with her. Then during the wedding plans, buying house, now baby, she started showing her true colours. Haizz. Even my dad, who used to ask me to ask her to eat dinner tog, started avoiding her after she pissed him off during the bridal dowry negotiations.

I feel that all members of hubby's family can be rather thoughtless (including hubby lol). Only normal member is probably his bro, but have never seem him go out on dates, hmm! :tlaugh:

Glad to see all your comments & advice! Yes I will try to bear with her. Especially whenever baby sees me she will go frenzy by suddenly shaking her arms & legs vigorously and smiling, like inviting me to carry her. So cute! Love my baby :tsmile:
 
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peppermint

Member
Kylnn, I'm sorry to say but I think I'm cool if baby's first word is papa. I rather have baby repeatedly say 'papa' than 'grandma'. Right?

Then again, I understand your situation. We just cannot stand our MILs. Therefore whatever that comes from her, it's no good. And fact is, it's really no good. I just wish she will keep her mouth shut.

Ignore her la. As long as she's not teaching your baby to dislike you.
 
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kylnn

Member
Hi Peppermint,

Yes I'm fine too if baby says papa first; afterall, can't control what she says haha.

Just that it's weird that I'm right there carrying the baby while hubby away in the kitchen, and MIL goes 'say papa'. Normal ppl would go 'mama' if mommy there, or 'papa' if daddy's there.

I understand that she's doesn't do things in spite; it's just that oftentimes she does/says things which she doesn't realize are not proper. Which can be frustrating ugh. More frustrating is that her children are like that too. So I'm re-training hubby in propriety hehe!!!
 
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Fisherman's Friend

Member
My mil is worst...when my child said her first word, its something like na-na, which i think she wana say neh neh (milk) but my mil insisted that she said papa and she went around telling everyone her first word is to call papa... -_-"" buay tahan!
 
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kylnn

Member
Ahahaha but na-na sounds more like mama than papa!
By the way to everyone here, when did your baby utter their first word?
 
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