Are you comfortable being a SAHM

[iwan2noe]

Just became a stay at home mum for 1 month.
Would like to find out, are you comfortable about being a stay at home mum? Do you worry about future finance issues, job prospects?
Are you comfortable with the allowance your hubby is giving you?

I think if I can afford, I dont mind being a SAHM..but too bad beng one will means lower control of my own finances plus haev to support my own parents. I dont think I can afford to be A SAHM after I give birht...so sad..

My ambition is to be a housewife but dont think this is ever gg to happen :embarrassed:

 

[angelwendy]

I think if I can afford, I dont mind being a stay at home mum..but too bad beng one will means lower control of my own finances plus haev to support my own parents. I dont think I can afford to be A stay at home mum after I give birht...so sad..

My ambition is to be a housewife but dont think this is ever gg to happen :embarrassed:

Haha.. take it Ez.. my ambition is also a housewife.. n i can take care of my kids my own.. in another way.. i don't wanna stress my hubby too much on this.. 1 person working to support the family is not ez.. that y i'm not able to decide wat i wan.. hee.. but i telling myself.. if we got enough money.. n i can be housewife.. i don't mind to give birth to one more BB..:001_302:

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Haha.. take it Ez.. my ambition is also a housewife.. and i can take care of my kids my own.. in another way.. i dont't wanna stress my hubby too much on this.. 1 person working to support the family is not ez.. that why i'm not able to decide what i want.. hee.. but i telling myself.. if we got enough money.. and i can be housewife.. i dont't mind to give birth to one more baby..:001_302:

My hubby has always wanted me to stay home for the kids. Now that I am a SAHM, hubby is happy. and the kids are happy, only me not so happy coz i am not used to not earning $.Been housewife for 1 month and 10 days, and counting

 

[snowbear]

My hubby has always wanted me to stay home for the kids. Now that I am a stay at home mum, hubby is happy. and the kids are happy, only me not so happy coz i am not used to not earning $.Been housewife for 1 month and 10 days, and counting

Well, since your hubby and kids are happy, you shld be happy about it! Your sacrifice has made the most impt pp to you happy, isn't that great? I know it's tough getting used to not earning our own $ but i think it's the intangibles in life that matter most.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Well, since your hubby and kids are happy, you shld be happy about it! Your sacrifice has made the most impt pp to you happy, isn't that great? I know it's tough getting used to not earning our own $ but i think it's the intangibles in life that matter most.

yea,i guess i have to get used to it. i was in sales and marketing previously, used to travel overseas up to 10 days a month. Was absolutely miserable then, would sob in hotel, or even on plane coz i missed the kids, and my hubby said my kids will cry themselves to sleep when i was overseas...worse when my kids were ill when i was overseas, i really felt that i was a terrible mother for not being with them when they needed me most....

 

[angelwendy]

My hubby has always wanted me to stay home for the kids. Now that I am a stay at home mum, hubby is happy. and the kids are happy, only me not so happy coz i am not used to not earning $.Been housewife for 1 month and 10 days, and counting

But i think if u can take care of ur own kids... is already a blessing to me... cause nowdays.. lots of mummy outside is a working mum.. they also hope to have more time with their family n kids.. cause i think kids growing up is very important.. thats y i always prefer to take care my own.. but i still hope that one day.. i will be a stay home mum to guide my children.. so don't be unhappy my dear.. somethings money can't buy..:001_302: just enjoy the moment.. when u reali decide to start working.. u might miss it..

 

[wahwah]

I have been a SAHM for 3 yrs and still enjoying it. As a matter of fact, I think it is a blessing to be a SAHM if I don't think about the financial issues.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

I have been a stay at home mum for 3 yrs and still enjoying it. As a matter of fact, I think it is a blessing to be a stay at home mum if I dont't think about the financial issues.

Actually my hubby's income is able to sustain the household, and can still afford some savings. Except that, I am 34 this year, i am worried if i stay home for a couple of years, i may not be able to get back into the workforce...am i worrying too much? The kids obviously want me to stay at home tho

 

[Pearl_Tan]

Hi all mummies,

I will be a SAHM soon start in next year..looking forward to be one of them coz like to accompany my kid (although there's only one) and hopefully there wont be having any future financial burden (as my hubby working as sales with comm)

We could have some coffee meet-up session for all the SAHM? what do you think?

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Hi all mummies,

I will be a stay at home mum soon start in next year..looking forward to be one of them coz like to accompany my kid (although there's only one) and hopefully there wont be having any future financial burden (as my hubby working as sales with comm)

We could have some coffee meet-up session for all the stay at home mum? what do you think?

Would definitely like to meet up some sahm: ) It is tough adjusting to be a sahm, would need some support!

 

[klearad]

Hi all mummies,

I have been staying at home since start of pregnancy... and have been taking care of my 7mth old gal myself. Its been tough and lonely... taking care of bb by myself. Sometimes, visits to mum place in the afternoon prove to be a relaxing visit for me.

Finance issues have been on my concerns list. However, I'm more worried if I will be accepted into the working society when I can return to workforce next year once bb reach 18mths. I will be considered a person who have stopped connecting with the working world for close to 3yrs then.

Hi Zazaziya, hee if you dont mind we can meet up? I stay at ToaPayoh

 

[Triquetra]

Hi all mummies,

I have been staying at home since start of pregnancy... and have been taking care of my 7mth old gal myself. Its been tough and lonely... taking care of baby by myself. Sometimes, visits to mum place in the afternoon prove to be a relaxing visit for me.

Same as you.
Been staying at home since my pregnancy (3+months) and now dd is 2+ months old.
It's really tough taking care of a baby alone, many times you have so much to do and only one pair of hands and a crying baby. Not only do I feel lonely and helpless, I also feel guilty that dh doesn't have much 'freedom' anymore especially since bb is born.

When I was pregnant at least it is still managable when he wants to go out and have fun with his friends, weekly mahjong etc. I felt lonely but at least not helpless but now with a baby, the only time I can take my time to answer nature calls or to shower is when he's around.

I have never gotten any allowance from my husband and I am definitely a liability to my own family. They are the ones helping me out financially as dh has a lot of financial commitments to his. I want to upgrade myself and my mom has offered to help me to pay for my course but now I know that the subsidy is only entitled to full time workers, I think I will give up cause I feel too guilty to let her pay the full amount without any subsidy.

I am not comfortable being SAHM but I have no choice as there is no one else who can help me look after dd. Before delivery, I was still thinking of sending dd to infant care but this has changed after she is born. I know no infant care of nanny will take care of her as well as I do, so far I only trust my own mother but she is already packed working full time and taking care of my niece and nephew.

 

[zazaziya@gmail.com]

Same as you.
Been staying at home since my pregnancy (3+months) and now dear daughter is 2+ months old.
It's really tough taking care of a baby alone, many times you have so much to do and only one pair of hands and a crying baby. Not only do I feel lonely and helpless, I also feel guilty that dear husband doesn't have much 'freedom' anymore especially since baby is born.

When I was pregnant at least it is still managable when he wants to go out and have fun with his friends, weekly mahjong etc. I felt lonely but at least not helpless but now with a baby, the only time I can take my time to answer nature calls or to shower is when he's around.

I have never gotten any allowance from my husband and I am definitely a liability to my own family. They are the ones helping me out financially as dear husband has a lot of financial commitments to his. I want to upgrade myself and my mom has offered to help me to pay for my course but now I know that the subsidy is only entitled to full time workers, I think I will give up cause I feel too guilty to let her pay the full amount without any subsidy.

I am not comfortable being stay at home mum but I have no choice as there is no one else who can help me look after dear daughter. Before delivery, I was still thinking of sending dear daughter to infant care but this has changed after she is born. I know no infant care of nanny will take care of her as well as I do, so far I only trust my own mother but she is already packed working full time and taking care of my niece and nephew.

Hi triquerta

May I know why is your hubby not giving you an allowance? As a SAHM, you need an allowance,maybe you can voice out to him?..my hubby transfers a fixed amount to me monthly, enough to spend on my kids, and myself and some savings. It is better that way, you would feel more "secure" and comfortable as a SAHM


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[barang_square]

I am a SAHM for 1.5 years and I am not comfortable being a SAHM. I am not worry about my future job prospect because I am very confident that I can get a job if I return to the industry. Financially, my hubby can afford for me to stay at home.

For some personal situation I am not able to work. And I am very depressed. However, I feel very depressed because:

1. The allowance that I got each month is peanut compared to if I am working. And because of that I do not bear to spent.

2. I feel not self worthliness and lousy. I feel like I am nothing other than a maid.

3. And I start feeling him controlling over me. e.g. when I lock myself and baby out of the house when he is out of town. He has not words of comfort when he is back... but instead telling me that I should not have called the locksmith but to call the owner of the house etc.

4. And his low sex drive really made me feel like he needs a maid more than a wife.

I am thinking of divorce. Any views?

 

[THE SAID'S]

Just became a stay at home mum for 1 month.
Would like to find out, are you comfortable about being a stay at home mum? Do you worry about future finance issues, job prospects?
Are you comfortable with the allowance your hubby is giving you?

I have been a stay at home mum for almost 6 years. The initial period was tough, as i kept thinking about work and always pondering the prospect of joining the workforce. However, as the time goes by and the needs of my little girl are more pressing .. i accept the responsibilities of stay at home mum challenging yet rewarding. I was able to home-schooled her during the early years, did parents' volunteering in her chosen school, chaperone her to and fro etc. The tasks get heavier when the second one arrived and my hubby took an overseas posting this year.
I had been working all my life, hence, depending on a single income was initially difficult. I had to put a lot of self-restraint when going shopping ... putting my children's interest before me. Gradually, i managed to make adjustment to my own needs or wants ..... Now, i become the miser at home, with my kids and hubby always pushing me to reward myself with this and that ...
Becoming a stay at home mum takes a lot of commitment and sacrifices. Its an uphill task ahead but believe me, when you see your child/ren grow before you, you will find the beauty in it.
Remain positive; be connected with the world around you, be great Mama ..... boy Thank Goodness, we have tis Forum for us!

 

[Mummy to Baby V]

I stopped work and relocated to KL to be with my husband during pregnancy. My boy is almost 10 months old, so that's 1.5 years at home. Being away from my own family and close female friends was tough in the beginning, esp when I'd bad morning sickness.

After that, I made an effort to chat with my mum & best friend (who are also stay at home mum) regularly. My husband's family was very supportive in helping me adjust, so I've been enjoying being a stay at home mum since baby was born.

A lot emotional and practical support from hubby and family is needed. I truly understand the part about handling a cranky baby such that it is tough to answer nature's call or even shower at times. (Carrying baby in a sling to the washroom is a good way.)

Financially, we are managing well, just need to be prudent in budgeting. Both of us are savers & I had a finance background, so I help the family decide on how to invest our savings. I believe that women must learn about finance and investing, for their own and their family's benefits. Hubby earns the money, wife budgets & invests. We are the ones who know most about the family's expenditure needs and have time to manage investments, esp when the children grow up.

If we are able to grow the family's surpluses well, then we can be assured of a graceful retirement.

We can also start a business to generate our own income.

As a stay at home mum, I ensure that my hubby is well-insured so that I can continue to stay home to look after our child should unexpected disasters happen.

Being able to stay home to bring up our children is truly a blessing.
Our rewards are non-monetary and priceless.
All the best, SAHMs!

Cheers,
Mummy to BabyV
Win a Modern Cloth Diaper worth $30 at Mummy's Reviews Giveaway

 

[sasha10]

I am a MTB due on next March. Currently not working after got retrenchment. Try to do part time job, but end up more stress with people's complaint, etc. After not working for few months, somehow i feel that i lost my confidence with my ability to work now.

I am stress up, thinking so much abt financial in the future..and how i have wasted my degree and experience. I study so much before..and got quite a high salary. But now..i totally lost my confidence...
can't even imagine later after baby is 1-2 year..i think i will even lost more confidence.

So happy to find this forum. I feel that i am not so alone anymore. Enjoy reading all of your post here..