Difficult Mother-in-law

Fiffy80

Fiffy80

New Member
All along, I am not on very good terms with my mother-in-law. As my son is her only son...we have to live with her. Things got worse after my gal is born. My MIL always wanted a grandson instead of grand daughter. My gal is 7 months old now. I choose to stay at home and look after her cos my MIL dun really dote on her. She dun really bother whether my gal drink milk liao mah...or things like that.

On days when I am really busy...cant cope with my gal...she also dun bother to help...she rather spend her time chatting with all her auntie frends below our block.

I told my hubby what happened...instead of understanding my situation...he said his mum is old liao...need to relax instead of looking after grand children. I dun expect her to take care of my gal..but just hope that she can offer some help here and there as we all live together... :nah:
 
mae

mae

Active Member
Oh dear, I know it's tough, but you have to bear with the situation. I was once in your shoe but things only got worst when I was trying to push my hubby to settle down on our own. My MIL never carried my gal before...we stayed in the same house (in Phil before) but never once she asked me what happened to my kid everytime she cried.
It's better to be independent than to seek your MIL's help. If she will have interest to carry you gal, let her do so...if she doesn't then don't feel bad about it. Don't expect so that you won't feel hurt.
 
charmaine

charmaine

Member
after reading so many MILs issues at other forums and personal experience all I can say is dun expect our parents (including ILs to help out). they are not obligated to do so

schedule ur time for urself and ur DD. then dun have any expectation from ur MIL
at least u noe that she prefer boys to gals.


try to discuss to ur DH that u feel helpless and u need some help at times.
see what he can do for you
 
A

AugBoyz

Member
hmm.. perhaps you can ask ur fren/mum/relatives to look after ur gal while u finish off ur busy schedule? worst come to worst see if there are any ad hoc nanny service available ard ur neighbourhood.
 
Y

Yukee

Member
When my gal is small (few mths old), i use to leave her with my frend's mum and we go for shopping (her mum volunteered), as my gal grow older, she wanted to stick to me...by all means, just let her follow lor...next time when she is old enough, she may not even want to follow me...anyway...i never leave my gals with my IL, cos i don't trust them at all...1st, they smoked, also when they talk to frenz all the XYZ come out from their mouth...and all the bad habits they have...my HB also got some bad habits from my FIL, so even i leave my gal with him, i also 'bu fang xing'...haiz...
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
hmmm...i take care of my girl myself....i understand your situation when u really wish someone is there to help u out for even tt few mins so u can go do ya stuffs.....but sumtyms really no choice....just put ya girl to bed.. or maybe on a walker?? so u can do your things n she can follow u arnd??
 
elaine01

elaine01

Member
Yukee said:
When my gal is small (few mths old), i use to leave her with my frend's mum and we go for shopping (her mum volunteered), as my gal grow older, she wanted to stick to me...by all means, just let her follow lor...next time when she is old enough, she may not even want to follow me...anyway...i never leave my gals with my IL, cos i don't trust them at all...1st, they smoked, also when they talk to frenz all the XYZ come out from their mouth...and all the bad habits they have...my HB also got some bad habits from my FIL, so even i leave my gal with him, i also 'bu fang xing'...haiz...
Click to expand...
i dun trust mine either.
she can doze off while watching tv.
she ever almost droped my son onto the floor. a few more inches, my 3 mth old boi's head will hit the marble floor real hard!
she still say nevermind, baby sure have to fall or knock his head somehow!
 
elaine01

elaine01

Member
i dun even bother her to make porridge for DS.

usually i make & eat then go her place or bring over in thermos flask.

she put seasoning like nobody business like that. i cant tahan her oiliness & saltiness in her food! always have to drink plenty of water to wash off the saltinish, how u expect a toddler to take them.
 
B

babysg

Member
Hi Mummies...think i am the odd one out here..cos i got a wonderful mother-in-law. She dotes on my son more than anything else in the world.. I am feeding my son organic food..hence..i will buy all the ingredients and my MIL will cook for me..she also helps me to feed my son and take care of him when I go out... she only feeds my son food which i allow or buy... cos i very particular abt what food goes into my son's mouth..i dun allow others to give him whatever food they want.. heheh all must be chop and approve by me first... think i am really fortunate.. :red:
 
cendrine

cendrine

Member
elaine01 said:
i dun trust mine either.
she can doze off while watching tv.
she ever almost droped my son onto the floor. a few more inches, my 3 mth old boi's head will hit the marble floor real hard!
she still say nevermind, baby sure have to fall or knock his head somehow!
Click to expand...
:err::err::err:
 
LoVeS

LoVeS

Well-Known Member
charmaine said:
after reading so many MILs issues at other forums and personal experience all I can say is dun expect our parents (including ILs to help out). they are not obligated to do so

schedule ur time for urself and ur DD. then dun have any expectation from ur MIL
at least u noe that she prefer boys to gals.


try to discuss to ur DH that u feel helpless and u need some help at times.
see what he can do for you
Click to expand...

Agree wif charmaine tt regardless ur parents or PILS r not obligated to help u n if they help it juz a bonus for ya.

Do ask help frm ur DH during the wkend lor like tt u can rest properly aso.
 
deardar

deardar

Member
Fiffy80 said:
All along, I am not on very good terms with my mother-in-law. As my son is her only son...we have to live with her. Things got worse after my gal is born. My MIL always wanted a grandson instead of grand daughter. My gal is 7 months old now. I choose to stay at home and look after her cos my MIL dun really dote on her. She dun really bother whether my gal drink milk liao mah...or things like that.

On days when I am really busy...cant cope with my gal...she also dun bother to help...she rather spend her time chatting with all her auntie frends below our block.

I told my hubby what happened...instead of understanding my situation...he said his mum is old liao...need to relax instead of looking after grand children. I dun expect her to take care of my gal..but just hope that she can offer some help here and there as we all live together... :nah:
Click to expand...


fiffy80
u r nt alone ... the r/s betw my ml & mi is getting from bad to worst ...
that a long story to tell. she doesnt treat mi as a DIL at all since i married to her son .. my dh is the youngest son in the family he is oso the first one to get married

beside him he has a elder brother & sister who is still unmarried yet
b4 i started work i used to take care of my son (btw im staying wif ILs) everyday she expect mi to clean & tidy, wash & maintain everything at home. beside taking care of my son

she scolded mi for no reason i did told my dh off wad she did to mi but then he dun believe mi at all. he keep silent even thru he saw his mum scoldin without a reason

i had no choice i decided to work in order to mimimise the time stayin at hm wif her (less conflict) (she is a working women)


wenever i knock of from work she expect mi to sit down wif her & talk to her but im so tired til i jus wanna rest ... she complained to dh that im rude to her ... im so pissed as dh belive all her claps

she even called my parent & compalint to them wad i had done but she didnt ends that i alwaiz called them to tell them wad happen to mi while im staying with them ...

so sad ....
 
Y

Yukee

Member
Hi Deardar, my MIL is aga aga same as urs...somemore she is not the real one, she is just a woman staying with my FIL, still dare to complain i lazy didn't do housework...furthermore she is also a lazy pig...before i got a maid the house is in a mess and she don't do anything, cos that time i have to look my gal who is only 1yr+ and also preggie with my #2...tried to do some cleaning, but too tired most of the time...somemore she is also very dominating everything want me to follow her style, how to mop the floor also want me to follow her style, sometime so fedup, don't feel like doing anything, but my #1 that time always touch here touch there and put fingers in her mouth, so 'bo bian' have to do it lor...
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
hugs to deardar n yukee... im lucky NOT to live with my inlaws.. cos i oso think my "MIL" shld be a very lazy person...well, she looks like one...omg.
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
n why i think she is lazy is cos til now my girl 5 mths she only come c her once....she can from Malaysia go back to her place is JW oso cant come over see my girl....grrrr..better dont come la, donwanna c her irritating face...sorry OT. =P
 
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