For mummies & daddies planning or having #2

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Mummy Pris

Member
Hi all,

I am mummy of a 1 yr old (her birthday in a few days on 07 May!) and step mummy of a 14 yr old.
Current arrangement is great since boy is old enough and adores his sister so much. My 1-yr old is considered my official #1. Now am planning on #2 but am worried about coping with my girl and also would like to hear advice and suggestion from those who have been through!

Pls share!! Thanks!!
 
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CharChia

Member
mummy pris: u could go and read edd may 2014... alot of mummies in there are 2nd time mummies... we share quite abit inside...

anyway i m currently a mother of 2 now.... 1st was born on 24 may 2013 (turning 1yr old next month), no. 2 was just born on 26 April 2014... it is very tiring for me as i reach the final trimester of my second pregnancy coz tummy is bigger n heavier n still have to deal with no.1... didn't really enjoy the last part of pregnancy n starts to seem unprepared... now with no.2 even more tired coz need to breastfeed n at the same time look after no. 1...

if u want to have no.2, it is better to have family support or someone to help u look after no.1 or send no.1 to school... so that u can focus on no.2 and have sufficient rest throughout pregnancy too... unless u dun mind, then no ham going ahead... but never never ignore the other 2 or throw your frustration at them or else jealousy between siblings will come in...
 
M

Mummy Pris

Member
Hi Charchia,

Thanks for yr sharing! Wow.. you are amazing to have gone thru pregnancy while yr #1 is still so young!

Previously I was worried abt having #2 when #1 still cant walk because I believe it will be so difficult to carry the baby. Now that #1 is 1yr old. I supposed will be easier now?

Anyway my #1 is attending infant care.

May I know how you arrange when u were in labour?
 
C

CharChia

Member
arrangement foe no.1 was to leave her at my parent's place... and after I deliver get someone to bring her over or my husband go and fetch her... during my stay in the hospital, I leave her in the care of my parents, siblings and maid... prior to that, I had been staying at my parents place so she can stick to everyone at my parent's place...
 
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ast0212

Member
Having family support will definitely help! And planning it out will give you an advantage.
I wish I had planned it properly for the time baby 2 was born. I left my toddler at home with my MIL who flew over from Singapore. In hindsight I should have left him with my mum as he is more comfortable with her. I received a call from stressed MIL 2am as toddler was distressed and she didn't know how to handle it. Good thing I was discharged within 24 hrs so we could be at home with my toddler.

This time around with baby 3 we know what to do - leave kids at my mum's house without fearing what visiting in laws think!! The kids are comfortable with my mum and that's all that matters! Plus, I hope this time to be back at home with my kids within hours of giving birth.

For day to day care I just took one day at a time. MIL went back home after a week. Hubby had 1 month leave and my mum was around for a little while before going overseas so I was on my own for quite a lot of the time. It is possible to handle 2...just take a day at a time with all the ups and downs. Forget housework, that can be put on hold. Do basic things like simple cooking and laundry but everything else can wait :)
 
M

Mummy Pris

Member
ast0212 said:
Having family support will definitely help! And planning it out will give you an advantage.
I wish I had planned it properly for the time baby 2 was born. I left my toddler at home with my MIL who flew over from Singapore. In hindsight I should have left him with my mum as he is more comfortable with her. I received a call from stressed MIL 2am as toddler was distressed and she didn't know how to handle it. Good thing I was discharged within 24 hrs so we could be at home with my toddler.

This time around with baby 3 we know what to do - leave kids at my mum's house without fearing what visiting in laws think!! The kids are comfortable with my mum and that's all that matters! Plus, I hope this time to be back at home with my kids within hours of giving birth.

For day to day care I just took one day at a time. MIL went back home after a week. Hubby had 1 month leave and my mum was around for a little while before going overseas so I was on my own for quite a lot of the time. It is possible to handle 2...just take a day at a time with all the ups and downs. Forget housework, that can be put on hold. Do basic things like simple cooking and laundry but everything else can wait :)
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Hi.. thanks for the advice!! But how did u mamage with the confinement period?? N bringing bb for check ups and vaccinations?? Whats yr kids age gap??
 
A

ast0212

Member
Confinement period my mum cooked most of my meals. Hubby cooked for the rest and sometimes MIL cooked. Hubby took care of our toddler during that time. Our mums don't do much as we don't allow them to.
I still went out for checkups and vaccinations.
Kids are 22m apart.

Once hubby was back to work and I was on my own it did take a bit of time to work out a routine of feeding my toddler, baby and myself and putting them down for naps because they usually ate and slept at different times. The times they did eat at the same time was difficult! Breastfeeding baby while cooking and feeding toddler hahah

When the youngest turned 1 year it was much easier as both went to nap together once a day and I could do my work - I have a little business so I can only work while kids are sleeping.

My eldest has just started school this year (he is 4 now) so I have 2-3 days a week to do housework and spend time with the 2 year old.
 
M

Mummy Pris

Member
ast0212 said:
Confinement period my mum cooked most of my meals. Hubby cooked for the rest and sometimes MIL cooked. Hubby took care of our toddler during that time. Our mums don't do much as we don't allow them to.
I still went out for checkups and vaccinations.
Kids are 22m apart.

Once hubby was back to work and I was on my own it did take a bit of time to work out a routine of feeding my toddler, baby and myself and putting them down for naps because they usually ate and slept at different times. The times they did eat at the same time was difficult! Breastfeeding baby while cooking and feeding toddler hahah

When the youngest turned 1 year it was much easier as both went to nap together once a day and I could do my work - I have a little business so I can only work while kids are sleeping.

My eldest has just started school this year (he is 4 now) so I have 2-3 days a week to do housework and spend time with the 2 year old.
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Wow! Sounds tough! And great thing that your hubby cooks! My hubby dont cook so likely will have to either buy back or get my MIL to cook =)
With my #1, haha when alone at home, I was already a little struggling (after confinement period) with taking care of baby and myself because she catnaps in the afternoon leaving me small window time for my own bath and lunch. Sometimes by the time my lunch is cooked, she is awake! haha

But I guess we will get by when given the situation somehow.. hehe
 
A

ajcy

Member
My hb wants #2 but I told him to wait till ds turns two. Ds is only 5 months and he's talking about another.

For mummies with lo close in age, do you find it better or wider age gap?
 
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CharChia

Member
my no.1 and no.2 is 11 months apart... all children r different and different age have different... my jiejie though young but super sayang didi...
 
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ajcy

Member
For you how do you divide your time?

Hb keep telling me is not dividing but it will suddenly multiply when #2 is here..
 
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CharChia

Member
guess it is a trial and error ba... For me slightly easier ba... coz no.1 sayang didi... so she hardly make noise... I will play with her and keep her company when no.2 is sleeping... if no.2 is awake and not drinking milk she will "disturb" by wanting to carrying him, pat him to sleep or kiss him... So far the only time she demands my attention is night time when she wants to go to bed... only night time sleeping she will wait for me to lie down on the bed then she will go and sleep...
 
M

Mummy Pris

Member
ajcy
my BIL advised us to try for #2 once we can and dont plan for too long..
his boy is now coming 4yrs old.. and he has been trying for #2 for i think maybe 1 year.. they also thought wanna plan a nice age gap etc.. ends up maybe due to age or work stress.. no news.. so they consulted conception specialist and found out that his has very low sperm count..

sometimes we think we dont wan yet.. but when we want.. it doesnt come...

my advice is once body recovers well.. and u know you wan a #2.. just go for it.. anyway not say want will have.. so leave to nature =)

i am trying now too.. haha my girl is coming 13mths..
 
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ajcy

Member
Thanks for all the advices, we are open to #2 should it happen since we don't use artificial contraception only withdrawal and I'm still breastfeeding.
 
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