Fresh divorcee

[Katelin]

Hello all,

I'm Katelin. Recently divorced and 2 lovely boys (aged 3 & 15mths) in my custody.

Observing the rules of disengagement in a divorce is easier said than done. Even harder when you have young children between you & your ex and are still residing under the same roof.

I've been in search of a support group for single mothers, trying to understand how women like us pick ourselves up & recover from this episode. It was by chance that I came across this URL and is pleasantly surprise by the range of topics it covers.

I'll be contributing, that's for sure and I look forward to making new friends too.

Katelin

 

[pineappletart]

hi katelin!

dont mind me asking how come your ex and u still living together? is it because of your children? i also cant imagine but i guess in some circumstances we have to force ourselves to adjust or accept it. esp. when you still have love for your ex... or when there's infidelity...

i too, "come in" here very often. compared to the other forum *ahem*, this seems to me more fun and less rigid in a way. just my opinion.

 

[Katelin]

Hey pineapple tart, we r still under the same roof but diff room because I'm awaiting the lift upgrading to b completed before we sell the flat.
Meanwhile its tought not to "mind" his presence.

Whatz your story pineappletart?

Katelin

 

[jojoki]

Katelin, dun mind me asking too. I have a friend who have caught her hubby cheating on her with the same woman, first time 12 years back, and recently again and again. She found pictures of their vacations etc.. but she chose to stay on in the marriage for the sake of their two kids.

What drove you to making such a decision despite you having two kids? Have you not thought of "staying for the sake of the kids"?

Personally, if my hubby cheated for sex i may still be able to forgive, but if my hubby is loving someone else for 10 over years.. I would NEVER stay, because his heart is no longer with me.. and it will hurt so much to stay in the marriage.. no. not even for kids sake.

 

[pineappletart]

Hey pineapple tart, we r still under the same roof but diff room because I'm awaiting the lift upgrading to b completed before we sell the flat.
Meanwhile its tought not to "mind" his presence.

Whatz your story pineappletart?

Katelin

so who's getting the custody of the children? i know a close family who is undergoing this too. thats why i can sort of understand your situation.
i dont have any "story" and i hope not in future. :wong10:

 

[tika]

You must be going through a truly truly tough time and I hope you find the positive support group you need. If you ever need an outlet to rave and rant, many of us mommies (and the occasional few daddies) would give you our listening ear. welcome to the forum!

 

[pineappletart]

Katelin, dont mind me asking too. I have a friend who have caught her hubby cheating on her with the same woman, first time 12 years back, and recently again and again. She found pictures of their vacations etc.. but she chose to stay on in the marriage for the sake of their two kids.

What drove you to making such a decision despite you having two kids? Have you not thought of "staying for the sake of the kids"?

Personally, if my hubby cheated for sex i may still be able to forgive, but if my hubby is loving someone else for 10 over years.. I would NEVER stay, because his heart is no longer with me.. and it will hurt so much to stay in the marriage.. no. not even for kids sake.

wow. jojoki, 12 years is no joke man. how can your friend live with such a bas tard? how her heart must've hurt! how to look at him in the face and even ML with him??? and how did she find those pics?? he just dont care and leave it laying around?? does he know that she knows?????

sorry for all those qns but i just feel for her... :wemad:

i dreamt that my hubby was holding another woman around her waist and looked so blissful. then he came to me and told me that she's his new love. we'll still stay married because of our baby. and he also told me that im free to look for a boyfriend too. LOL. although it was only a dream but i could feel the pain and anger. :001_302:

 

[jojoki]

wow. jojoki, 12 years is no joke man. how can your friend live with such a bas tard? how her heart must've hurt! how to look at him in the face and even ML with him??? and how did she find those pics?? he just dont care and leave it laying around?? does he know that she knows?????

sorry for all those qns but i just feel for her... :wemad:

i dreamt that my hubby was holding another woman around her waist and looked so blissful. then he came to me and told me that she's his new love. we'll still stay married because of our baby. and he also told me that im free to look for a boyfriend too. LOL. although it was only a dream but i could feel the pain and anger. :001_302:

yes me too have no idea how she can live with it! she stumbled upon the pics. I'm not sure if they still ML.. he knows that she knows and have asked for divorce before but shes not willing and wanted to salvage the marriage fr the kids sake.

Yes its soo painful, even as n outsider I feel for her. The kind of pain she have to go through, cos the hubby is always home late, business trip can means vacation with the gf... I wud have gone nuts!

And the gf always pressuring him to leave the wife... sigh!

 

[TANZHENZHI]

wow jojoki, it's not easy for your friend. She still can face the husband after what she knows. I think i will slap him everytime i see him... Unfaithful husband. Sorry but i think i can't tolerate guys who cheat when they have a family to commit. :001_302:

 

[atance]

Yes, i agree. Especially when after a long term marriage with kids above 10 years. Sometimes, guys really wanna have fun after a certain age still.
Whats in their mind? dont't they have responsibility?

 

[jojoki]

wow jojoki, it's not easy for your friend. She still can face the husband after what she knows. I think i will slap him everytime i see him... Unfaithful husband. Sorry but i think i can't tolerate guys who cheat when they have a family to commit. :001_302:

me too! me will never tolerate. not even fr kids!! with a dad like dat its better of with just mom!

 

[hotfudge]

Hi, I'm new here too.. will be getting my D cert in mid May..

 

[SunShine07]

sad to learn that in this generation there are getting more n more broken family....I am seeking for lawyers to file for my divorce too....

single mum like us can't do much to give our kids complete family but to raise them up with love and security..........

 

[pineappletart]

yes me too have no idea how she can live with it! she stumbled upon the pics. I'm not sure if they still ML.. he knows that she knows and have asked for divorce before but shes not willing and wanted to salvage the marriage fr the kids sake.

Yes its soo painful, even as n outsider I feel for her. The kind of pain she have to go through, cos the hubby is always home late, business trip can means vacation with the gf... I wud have gone nuts!

And the gf always pressuring him to leave the wife... sigh!

that third party! it's sinful enuf for her to get involved with a married man! on top of that, she also wants him to divorce her???? she doesnt think about the kids??? or rather, he doesnt think about the kids??????

argh!!!! :mmad:

 

[pineappletart]

sad to learn that in this generation there are getting more n more broken family....I am seeking for lawyers to file for my divorce too....

single mum like us can't do much to give our kids complete family but to raise them up with love and security..........

*hugs*

most children raised by single mom with love and security, etc, are the ones who are more fillial. i read that from some article a while ago. who needs a jerk in the family?? if their children dont acknowledge them one day, dont regret!

 

[SunShine07]

*hugs*

most children raised by single mom with love and security, etc, are the ones who are more fillial. i read that from some article a while ago. who needs a jerk in the family?? if their children dont acknowledge them one day, dont regret!

really? was relieve to hear these....i think becos that jerk keep imposing all the negative tots of me being the single mum....he keep saying my son will hate me for doing this to his dad...blah blah blah......full of shit!

now he had stop contacting me, i think its good also.....i also hope he will just leave us alone for the rest of the life, then i tell my son that he is dead!

 

[Ting]

liang jia, dun listen to him.
im sure one day u will meet a nice guy who will treasure n love u n your son.
not all hope is lost.
your son needs a father, yes, but your ex is definately not the kind of father he needs.
stay strong ladies.

 

[hotfudge]

liang jia, dont listen to him.
im sure one day you will meet a nice guy who will treasure n love you n your son.
not all hope is lost.
your son needs a father, yes, but your ex is definately not the kind of father he needs.
stay strong ladies.

hey Ting, how i wish we can be as positive as you.. :red:
do not really have the confidence to get to know more men at the moment.. men... :nah:

 

[SunShine07]

hey Ting, how i wish we can be as positive as you.. :red:
do not really have the confidence to get to know more men at the moment.. men... :nah:

yah...me too....am tired also....better to be single, free n easy :tlaugh:

 

[jojoki]

that third party! it's sinful enuf for her to get involved with a married man! on top of that, she also wants him to divorce her???? she doesnt think about the kids??? or rather, he doesnt think about the kids??????

argh!!!! :mmad:

actually i knw the third party by acquaintance i totally dislike her!! Shes pretty and smart can easily get an eligible bachelor. But she have always pester the bf (husband of my friend) to leave her and marry her. She already has his body and heart but still not contented! He already giving her so much but no she must destroy someones family!!!