Help! advice wanted. Family disputes

[Depleted]

i am currently around 22weeks pregnant .
well long story cut short, found out that im having a bb boy.
then boyfriend's mum went like " if girl better so next time no money can be prositute "
so well , my mum quarreled with his mum over this , ugly words were exchanged . and my mum said " if you can say this to my daughter why not you ask your own daughter to be prositute"
and his mum complained to him , which lead him kicking the door very hard last night which really scares me, because i really dont know what happened .
Had a fight and he said " now i say one , if bb is boy i want bb be thief next time , if girl i want her be prositute"
this really hurts me .
its ok how im insulted and all , how can he not trust me, and how can he say this of his own child ?
so now , we're not talking . he've not been home and i've not received a single text from him.
i want to work things out but im at my wits ends . i got to knw about these only yst and all anger were vented at me !
and got to know from my mum yst which his mum had not told us .
his mum started the fight first by saying that i would have ran away with bb in the future with another guy and all which makes my mum feel the need to jump into my defence .
and his mum actually complained about me not sharing my burger with his younger brother . ( they actually alr had their dinner , but that was my dinner )
i dont know what to do !
i need some positive comments !

 

[ihmdweh]

mmm i'm sorry to say this.. but are u sure you want to continue being with this man and his family?

Think your baby and yourself will have a better living environment away from them.

Just my 2 cents worth.

 

[Amulet]

seriously, through all your threads on how ur bastard bf treats you, i don't understand why the hell are you still staying with him?!?

you wan ur child to grow up in this kind of environment? u wan ur child to grow up like him or his mom? given this kind of environment, even if the child didn't grow up to be prostitute or thief, he will also become a useless junk to the society, created problems and troubles everywhere he go; due to the kind of family and influence he grows up in..

do you really wan this kind of future for ur baby?

you may not know what to do, but you should start to learn to know wat to do now!

leave him, go back to your family or help shelter.. seek help then stand strong for your son.. if you also don't know how to help yourself and him, thn the future is doom for sure..

i have posted up the hotlines and links for those help shelters, as well as PM you on that..

really hope you will start some action for the sake of the future of ur son instead of sitting on the problem..

no doubt u are just 18yo, but it's not too young to start to mature up.. especially since you are going to be a mother soon.. if you are not wise or mature enough for ur son to depend on, then he will have no one else to depend on already..

in case you couldn't find the post on helplines, here they are again:
Marymount Centre Singapore Contact Good Shepherd Centre at Tel: 6755 6496.
Sanctuary House - A Labour of Love Tel: +65 6221 0588
Pregnancy Crisis Service | Family Life Society Pregnancy Crisis Hotline:6339 9770
http://www.babes.org.sg/ SMS: 81113535

 

[esta_837]

How was your relationship with your bf's mom before? Are you also living together with your bf's mom? Are they supportive of you being pregnant? It doesn't sound like it...? If things get worse, can you move to your mom's?

 

[apollo]

Ur bf's mum is mad!! which sane ones will say that?!?!?! and ur mum is VERY RIGHT. since she feels that her granddaughter (if any) can be prostitute, why not ask her own daughter to be one 1st? And ur bf, he is also one kind, obviously his mum is is very wrong by saying such things. Since he sided his mum and even kicked a fuss, do u think he is a nice guy who will protect u and ur son? I dont think so cos one day he might just ask ur son to be a thief. ur bf family is very selfish. leave them, NOW, for the sake of urself and ur baby. you still have a very protective mother, and ur baby. ur life will definitely be better with this guy and his family =)

 

[Depleted]

sorry all , its not tt i do not want to move out from here . but my mum's staying with her boyf so theres no place for me to move to .
i've tried calling the hotlines but fr those shelters i could not pass the interviews . ( rose villa ) due to my family background . i come frm a wealthy family .
but now , i do not even have the ability to support myself , plus doctor fees , and delivery fees if i do not depend on them i do not know how im going to pay all those i've tried working but i tired my body out and kept feeling breathless even a five min walk to chong pang.
when i take transports like mrt i have to keep going out of the train after 2 to 3 stops and the last job i worked i fainted alot of times .
i nw refuse to speak to his family, because i dont think my mum's in the wrong .
however due to this mess that his family made up , my mum refused to speak to me now .
i am growing big , and i still do not have proper clothes and shorts ( still wearing prepregnancy) and my inner wear are all so tight that marks of the underwire are always left on my body .

they say tt the prositute thingy they were just joking , but they didnt know how much it really hurts me .
i love my son . i want to move out from here , but i really have nowhere to go .

 

[Amulet]

sorry all , its not tt i do not want to move out from here . but my mum's staying with her boyf so theres no place for me to move to .
i've tried calling the hotlines but fr those shelters i could not pass the interviews . ( rose villa ) due to my family background . i come frm a wealthy family .
but now , i do not even have the ability to support myself , plus doctor fees , and delivery fees if i do not depend on them i do not know how im going to pay all those i've tried working but i tired my body out and kept feeling breathless even a five min walk to chong pang.
when i take transports like mrt i have to keep going out of the train after 2 to 3 stops and the last job i worked i fainted alot of times .
i nw refuse to speak to his family, because i dont think my mum's in the wrong .
however due to this mess that his family made up , my mum refused to speak to me now .
i am growing big , and i still do not have proper clothes and shorts ( still wearing prepregnancy) and my inner wear are all so tight that marks of the underwire are always left on my body .

they say tt the prositute thingy they were just joking , but they didnt know how much it really hurts me .
i love my son . i want to move out from here , but i really have nowhere to go .

wat about ur dad?

since you said u are from a wealthy family, can't ur mom fork out money for u temporarily to support u for these necessity first?

have you tried The Sanctuary House?

Do you mind second hand pregnancy clothes? if you don't i can try to gather some for you..

 

[apollo]

Yes, since you are from wealthy family, i'm sure your parents are able to help you, at least during this period of time until you deliver your baby. I would rather you seek help from parents, relatives or even close friends, than to continue living with your bf's family, listening to all these nonsense. Now alrdy so much nonsense, i cant imagine future when the baby is born.

 

[Depleted]

im not sure if i mentioned it , but my parents are divorced . my dad is the one wealthy and from the start he has nt been supporting me about the bb even emotionally . i tried looking for his help but he closed the doors on me . my mum's currently living with others also thus there is no place i could put up at .

im going to have an interview with babes tomorrow hope it all goes well . it was my last option .
i dont mind second hand clothes ..

 

[Amulet]

im not sure if i mentioned it , but my parents are divorced . my dad is the one wealthy and from the start he has nt been supporting me about the bb even emotionally . i tried looking for his help but he closed the doors on me . my mum's currently living with others also thus there is no place i could put up at .

im going to have an interview with babes tomorrow hope it all goes well . it was my last option .
i dont mind second hand clothes ..

girl.. i had PMed u my hp no.

will PM u again wen i get those pregnancy clothes.. you wan clothes for newborn too? or other 2nd handed baby items?

 

[xiaodaisy]

i dont think u will get any positive comments fm such situation .. how positive u want it to be? forget it and give in to them?

i'm sorry to put in such a harsh way but sometimes u gonna look urself and no matter how much other people say ,u gonna do the final decision urself too !

but still i also wish to say that its better that u leave such living environment asap .. tink of the future of urself and ur boy

 

[esta_837]

Girl, how did your interview with Babes go?
What if you tried talking to your Dad in another way? Think hard on what to say and put it nicely and humbly to him in a way that would enable your dad to understand your situation. I don't know your background, but even if it means you have to "apologize" to your Dad for whatever before he knows you are really sincere, you have to do it for the sake of you and your baby. Try texting to him if he does not want to talk? Remember blood is thicker than water, family will always be there for you in the end no matter what.
You sound quite well spoken. Do calm down and reallly try to talk to your dad. Can I ask does he give support payments to you?

 

[Depleted]

my interview with them are changed to mon due to me having fever today. it really hurts and its hard for me to have to make this decision but i knw what you girls are telling me is right . i know the only way is to leave now before they even have a chance to rlly hurt/fight for my son. but its hard because i rlly have noone left. i have no friends in contact anymore , and what hurts the most is my family.
my dad has not been giving me any money since he found out tt im pregnant and to make it worse he only messages me when its time for me to pay my phone bill.
due to financial constraint, i've nt been paying my phone bills for 3mths already thus he've not been contacting me.
i've apologised to him quite a number of times and begged him tt at the very least i need a place to stay but he refused to take me back.
all this is hard really , sometimes i rlly wnder why isnt bb out yet so i could work and relieve some stress financially .
as im typing this my heart's throbbing, pls do understand tt taking this step really requires alot of strength and courage.
even if the interview dont go well , i'll still move out by next week, dont know where i'll go but still to make things final, i've alr informed him tt i'll be leaving. he doesnt want me to, but im firm about it.

 

[Amulet]

my interview with them are changed to mon due to me having fever today. it really hurts and its hard for me to have to make this decision but i knw what you girls are telling me is right . i know the only way is to leave now before they even have a chance to rlly hurt/fight for my son. but its hard because i rlly have noone left. i have no friends in contact anymore , and what hurts the most is my family.
my dad has not been giving me any money since he found out tt im pregnant and to make it worse he only messages me when its time for me to pay my phone bill.
due to financial constraint, i've nt been paying my phone bills for 3mths already thus he've not been contacting me.
i've apologised to him quite a number of times and begged him tt at the very least i need a place to stay but he refused to take me back.
all this is hard really , sometimes i rlly wnder why isnt bb out yet so i could work and relieve some stress financially .
as im typing this my heart's throbbing, pls do understand tt taking this step really requires alot of strength and courage.
even if the interview dont go well , i'll still move out by next week, dont know where i'll go but still to make things final, i've alr informed him tt i'll be leaving. he doesnt want me to, but im firm about it.

poor girl.. but i believe you will grow stronger..

maybe try to talk to your mom to see if is there any little thing that she can do for you? or her bf? i'm sure if he really loves your mom, he won't wan to see her all worried about you either..

 

[xiaodaisy]

i understand how hard to take the step out but by time goes , u will grow into a stronger mummy for ur boy ...

i've gone thro what u have been before when i had my #1 boy but the different thing is i have my family there for me , even how upset , how angry they are , i believe blood is thicker than water , nothing can change the fact of this ..

even the guy say he dont wan u to leave but what can he do to make u and ur boy have a better life , a leopard will nvr change it spots , if he will change he would have change for the sake of u and his son since the beginning when he know abt ur pregnancy

sometimes , girls can live much more better without some irresponsible , childish boys who act like jerks ..

u can try going to ur father's place , plead with him and tell him ur sorry and really need his help right now , i believe he will still help u afterall ur his daughter , his own flesh and blood .. just talk to him with a nice way and give him more time to cool down ..

wish u all the best , be firm on ur decision and dont look back .. u will find a better guy in future who really loves u and ur boy .. good luck and take care

 

[mag_huiling]

Are you working? Cause whatever it is, even if the shelter is gonna take you in, you cant stay there forever. They cant be feeding you and your baby, pay for your medical fees or checkup. Most importantly is to earn with your hands.

This is gonna be a very very tough road. What we people here can do for you is to try our very best to help you look for a shelter over your head, but the daily expenses etc still have to depends on yourself. And also gather some used baby stuffs and maternity clothing for you.

I will pm you my number. I have maternity clothings and baby stuffs to clear.