HELP : How to get used to life at Hubby's home ?

[mamaxxz]

Hi all .

I'm trying to get advise and helps on how to get used to life at my Hubby's house . We're married for about going to be a month , but I'm still not used to life over at his house . I went back my house as much as I can to avoid all this "STRESS FEELING" inside me .

I don't know why am I feeling stress , or maybe I'm giving myself stress but I just can't help it . I wish I could overcome it but somehow it's quite difficult . No offence, but his mom isn't that friendly and mostly she's the one that kind of stressed me out as she don't smile as much as others do .

I told my Hubby about it , and he told me before that is how his mom is but I don't know .. it just make me feel that she is so fierce and always make me feel so stress that she is angry or feel that I'm a lousy daughter-in-law or somewhere there .

Anyone had this kind of experience before ? Hope I could get some help / advice out there!

THANK YOU !

 

[Ting]

its like tt.. cos afterall, it is not ur own house and u r out of your comfort zone. i jst started living with my MIL too,but its my own flat, so its still ok for me. for me, i just do my own things, and she does her own. when i see her, i will just greet her and do what i shld do, like ask her if she ate alr, or if she wanna eat etc.but my mil isnt like yours la, nvr smile. she is quite friendly, but still no matter what,she isnt my own mum, so sure to hv some awkward feeling arnd.

imp, i think what u shld do is just do what u need to do. greet her and try to talk to her lor. if she dont wanna talk then just do ur own things. as long as u do what u need to do, no one can say anything.. some ppl is like tt, they jst pull a black face and dont talk.

 

[ryanchew]

Not all people are born to be friendly. As long as she dun step on your tail, and u dun step on hers, that should be fine. Some MILs just dun talk much, so dun worry too much about it. Enjoy your marriage instead.

 

[Renzie]

Since your hubby already say that she doesn't smile, don't bother about it, as long as you are doing whatever you can, like showing her respect;greeting her, asking after her, don't worry.

We may feel awkward in their place, but likewise, they might also feel awkward that another person is around as well. Sometimes, when I go out, I'll buy some snacks for them, or if hubby and I are going out to eat, we'll ask if they want to come along or need us to buy back for them. Sometimes I'll go to them for advices, so that at least we'll have a common topic to talk about and they don't feel like they are being excluded in their son's life. but each person is different. Just do whatever you can, if she still doesn't respond to you, don't bother/worry about it, as your hubby says, that's just that way she is.

 

[Coly]

My MIL come to stay in my house like 4 mths ago to help take care of my baby. Frankly till now, i still find it uncomfortable. Missed the life of just my hubby and i staying in the house. So usually i will try to stay in my room as long as possible

 

[Amulet]

maybe u should try to learn to accept that that's just her.. some people are like that..

 

[panpan]

I can empathise with you... coz i stayed with my in laws for 2 years.

It's give and take. And of course, you do have to respect that it is their place and you are staying with them. I do greet my in-laws when i see them though conversation are kept to the minimum as my in laws may not agree with my views. It takes time to build a good relationship with your in-laws and i'm still working on it. Take things easy ya?

 

[pipilili]

I think the best is talk less to minimise conflict.

Thank god I din stay with in-laws cos I realised they are monster-in-laws during my confinement period. My MIL basically open every pots and pans, kitchen cabinets and fridge and ransack my kitchen. Then she made a comment that my hse got soooo little things to EAT! She is nuts cos during confinement period, only CL, me and hubby. And my hubby dun eat at home everyday!