Help!!! My baby girl does not want to sleep during night time...

[stepyun]

My baby girl is coming 2mth old this mth.. The problem is most of the time during midnight she will cry for milk but after finished drinking she do not want to sleep. She will stay awake as long as up to 3hrs or more. Sometimes she wants us to talk/play/carry her... Another problem is my MIL likes to say to her during night time if she does not want to sleep "wow ur eyes open so big dont want to sleep ah den wake up and play for 2hrs lo" i know that baby are very "Pang dang" sometimes some words its better dont say infront of the baby but i tried to hint her she ignores it which makes me very pissed off...

Pls help! I really dont know what to do and my MIL like to comment on those words which make me feel so uncomfortable..

Any others way to make my baby girl sleep throughout the night?

 

[paull]

haiz my boy also liddat..everytime will only slp ard 3-4am..but slp quite alot in the day..

 

[LitleL]

I used the methods taught in Gina Ford's book, "Guide To A Contented Baby" for feeding and sleeping times. It seems to work cause my daughter started sleeping through the night once she turned 2 months old.

She is put down to bed between 7-8pm. At first she would fuss a lot and cry. Resist her bedtime but my husband and I persisted. We would only go in every 10mins to pick her up to soothe her then put her down in her cot. No matter if she still continues to cry, we walk out of the room. We had to do that for 2 weeks and everytime she cried, I cried also cause so heartache. But slowly she learnt that it is bedtime and when she was 10 months old, she stop crying at the 7pm bedtime. She often falls asleep by herself or she will self soothe by sucking her fist and then falling asleep within 15 mins. Also I made sure she did not sleep after 5pm so she is awake for 2 hours and by 7pm she is sleepy. It was hard when she was younger because as a newborn she doesn't find stimulation in any toys but now she is 11 weeks, it is easier to keep her awake with toys.

We wake her up at 1015pm for the final feed and she will quickly go back to sleep after that. She will sleep until I wake her up at 7am to feed and start her day. I also make sure she does not sleep more than 3.5 hours in the day. So you must be prepared to do a lot of entertaining. I have to constantly entertain her so she will be awake during daytime. Luckily lately she started to be fascinated by my face so I don't need to do anything. She can stare at my face for 30 mins and laugh/smile.

And got to cut back on her night time feed. Right from the start I only gave her 1 oz milk (2 oz during growth spurts) during her middle of the night feed. Her middle of the night feed started at 2am when firstborn, then as she gain weight, she started to wake up later by 1 hour each time. When she reach waking up time of around 530-600am, I gave her 1oz water only. She is still hungry after that but because too tired, she goes to sleep soon if I soothe her in my arms. Then I start to remove the 1oz of water and when she woke up I just soothe her in my arms. That was hard cause she would cry unless I bounce her. So I can be bouncing her for 1-2 hours until I thought my back was gonna break. But it paid off cause after a week of that, she didn't wake up anymore, that was when she turned 2 months old.

A week ago, hubby and I started to go back to our bedroom to sleep and let her sleep on her own in the nursery. I just use the monitor. Sometimes I hear her make a small cry or sound but I don't do anything cause she will go back to sleep. So I think no need to rush and pick up baby everytime she makes a sound. Give her a chance to self soothe or go back to sleep on her own. I know they are young but I believe they can learn even at such a young age.

Basically these are the guidelines outlined in Gina Ford's book. I am not saying it works for all babies but it certainly helped with mine. If you can't stand what your MIL says, try to ask your husband for help. Maybe he can "pretend" to be around one of those nights when she makes those comments and tell his mum to not say such things. I find that if there's anything to be said to my MIL, I ask my hubby to say it so it's not so offensive. Actually last time when my daughter woke up at night I try not to look at her in the eyes or talk to her. I find that if I engage her she will think it's playtime and try to engage me with her eyes too. Dunno if that worked but I just thought try anything. And I never turn on the light.

 

[stepyun]

Thanks for the advise. I did ask my hubby to tell her mum not to say those words but does not help at all. Sometimes i will just leave my girl to cry for a few mins althought i know my heart will pain but no choice cos i dun want her to have a habit that if she everytime cried and immediately there will be someone to carry her. My MIL and FIL will tell me not to let her cry so much and they will start to carry her and she will stop crying and eventually become a bad habit already. And the other thing is my baby gal is sleeping with my Parents-in-laws as my MIL dun allow my girl to sleep with me which I felt the distance between me n my girl is drifting apart. Sometimes during night time when my baby girl do not want to sleep and cried out loudly i will go over to my PIL room and take a look. But anyway i will try ur method on my baby girl and see if the situation goes well.

 

[LitleL]

Oh yeah, remembered one more thing. The book did mention that we should try to give baby as much of her nutritional needs during the day so she won't want so much milk at night. Especially the last feed before she goes to sleep at 7pm. So I feed her a big big feed at 600pm. Then she goes to bed at 700pm. When I wake her at 1015pm for last feed, it is not so big. Maybe less than other feeds by 1-2oz. It's more to sustain her through the night but if it's too big a feed, she will wake up from the time taken to feed her. The aim at 1015pm is to feed, burp and put her back to sleep as fast as possible. Normally I find baby is too sleepy. Her eyes closed all the way but her mouth is sucking the milk. In fact sometimes I even have to change her diaper and wipe her bum with cold wet cotton squares to wake her up slightly, to finish the feed.

Maybe your hubby need to be more strict with his mum. Same as my hubby. Last time he will stand up for me but he will only maybe tell his mum once in a mild manner. But after his mum was "too much" in certain matters, I actually broke down. End up cried and shout at him and refuse to talk to him cause too angry. Then only he understoodhow much it affected me and he was not being strict enough with his mum. Thats why she never learn. I'm not saying you should do the same but try to talk to your hubby again and let him know how you feel and how it is affecting you, your relationship with your daughter and how it will eventually affect your relationship with him. If he is reasonable I am sure he will understand and help you. At most his mum just sour for a while but she cant be like that for long cause she will want to be near her grandchild.

Last time when I let my daughter cry and cry, only pick her up every 10 mins, for 2 mins. My mum also kept going on and on about how it is not right. She said she did the same thing to me and my sis but regret now. So I should not do it. After she said it repeatedly for 4 days, I told her me and my sis dun even remember that she let us cry and can she please stop telling me what to do. She kept quiet, abit sour face that night. But next day no choice, she got to be good mood again. If not she don't have chance to play with baby, haha.

Meanwhile good luck with your efforts and don't give up. So many times I wanted to give up when my daughter cried so hard. She can cry for 40-50 mins and until her whole face is red. And sometimes cry until no voice come out. But I preservered and it worked. Sleeping habits can change but also they can learn bad sleeping habits very fast. For a few days when my daughter cry during her daytime naps (she got reflux problem so sometimes awaken by the reflux pain I think) I let her sleep on my chest, stomach to stomach. She likes it so much that I notice even if she is not uncomfortable, she won't take her daytime naps unless I let her sleep on my chest. After she fall into deep sleep then only can transfer her to the cot. Now she picked up a bad habit but I'm too tired to stop it for now so hopefully she'll outgrow it.

 

[ast0212]

Awww I know how tiring it is at this stage. It is normal for babies to be like this as they're still settling into this big strange world.

That's where you come in :001_302: You are the only one she seeks comfort from now after being in your tummy for 9 long months, so it definitely is not a bad habit going in quickly to hold your baby. In fact it teaches your baby that she can trust you, that when she cries you are there for her and she is not alone. It is heartbreaking to hear a baby's cry, that's why we're wired to respond to them when we hear it. It's instinctual but unfortunately it's seen as spoiling... It's not spoiling so don't feel bad about it. Responding to your baby is the most natural thing to do

Over time babies' sleeping patterns change and they learn to sleep at night, maybe for some very few hours first, which stretches as they grow and develop. Early on they will still need to wake up frequently (2-3 hourly) for milk.

Maybe you could read about Attachment Parenting, they have some wonderful tips. I too used to think that we should not spoil babies and to let them cry for a while before attending to them. That was until my son lost his voice and I read up about Attachment Parenting and me and hubby changed our tactics completely!

All the best

 

[Tiggee]

Oh yeah, remembered one more thing. The book did mention that we should try to give baby as much of her nutritional needs during the day so she won't want so much milk at night. Especially the last feed before she goes to sleep at 7pm. So I feed her a big big feed at 600pm. Then she goes to bed at 700pm. When I wake her at 1015pm for last feed, it is not so big. Maybe less than other feeds by 1-2oz. It's more to sustain her through the night but if it's too big a feed, she will wake up from the time taken to feed her. The aim at 1015pm is to feed, burp and put her back to sleep as fast as possible. Normally I find baby is too sleepy. Her eyes closed all the way but her mouth is sucking the milk. In fact sometimes I even have to change her diaper and wipe her bum with cold wet cotton squares to wake her up slightly, to finish the feed.

Maybe your hubby need to be more strict with his mum. Same as my hubby. Last time he will stand up for me but he will only maybe tell his mum once in a mild manner. But after his mum was "too much" in certain matters, I actually broke down. End up cried and shout at him and refuse to talk to him cause too angry. Then only he understoodhow much it affected me and he was not being strict enough with his mum. Thats why she never learn. I'm not saying you should do the same but try to talk to your hubby again and let him know how you feel and how it is affecting you, your relationship with your daughter and how it will eventually affect your relationship with him. If he is reasonable I am sure he will understand and help you. At most his mum just sour for a while but she cant be like that for long cause she will want to be near her grandchild.

Last time when I let my daughter cry and cry, only pick her up every 10 mins, for 2 mins. My mum also kept going on and on about how it is not right. She said she did the same thing to me and my sis but regret now. So I should not do it. After she said it repeatedly for 4 days, I told her me and my sis dun even remember that she let us cry and can she please stop telling me what to do. She kept quiet, abit sour face that night. But next day no choice, she got to be good mood again. If not she don't have chance to play with baby, haha.

Meanwhile good luck with your efforts and don't give up. So many times I wanted to give up when my daughter cried so hard. She can cry for 40-50 mins and until her whole face is red. And sometimes cry until no voice come out. But I preservered and it worked. Sleeping habits can change but also they can learn bad sleeping habits very fast. For a few days when my daughter cry during her daytime naps (she got reflux problem so sometimes awaken by the reflux pain I think) I let her sleep on my chest, stomach to stomach. She likes it so much that I notice even if she is not uncomfortable, she won't take her daytime naps unless I let her sleep on my chest. After she fall into deep sleep then only can transfer her to the cot. Now she picked up a bad habit but I'm too tired to stop it for now so hopefully she'll outgrow it.

May I know where u bought the book from?

 

[LitleL]

My friend lent me a copy cause it worked for her daughter but I liked it so much that I got my own copy from Amazon. Not sure if bookstores like Kinokuniya has but you can call to find out. If not in stock, sometimes cheaper and faster to buy from Amazon. The author's website is Contented Baby :: The official Gina Ford Web site.

BTW, you can adapt a bit to suit your baby's needs cause all babies are different. I changed one of the feeding time by 15 mins. And even though she said baby must sleep during daytime in the dark and quiet environment, I did not do that until my daughter was 2 months old. Cause when I did that when she was 1 week old, she mixed up her day and night. Actually sleeping in bright daylight and noisy environment is good for my daughter. Now she can sleep anywhere.

 

[Tiggee]

My baby slps in the day and start fussing or wanting to play at 3am, all the way till 6-7am. Both me and hubby can't take it already. My baby can slp thru noise so that isnt a problem. It's just his day and night is upside down. -.-"

 

[LitleL]

Does she sleep in the dark in the daytime? Cause when that happened to my daughter during the first 2 weeks of her life, I realized it's cause I let her sleep in the dark during daytime. So to reverse it, I made sure daytime is always bright. I opened the windows too so noise from outside will come in. And only turn on air con for her at night. Daytime I make her sleep without air con. So the brightness and warmth will make her wake up after a while. Then I just play with her.

Even now if my baby has taken too much sleep in the early morning and afternoon, when it's evening time I only let her sleep for 15-20 mins. Then to wake her up I put her in one of those playmats. The flat cushioned kind where there's a band of hanging toys above. Then I will shake the toys a bit. They will make tinkling noises and her playmat will shake. Normally after lying there, she will wake up within 15 mins. Also I remove her swaddle and sometimes turn on air con so the cold air wakes her up.

So maybe you need to keep your baby awake more during day. Try to engage her more with talking or toys. Maybe take her out. If I take my baby out, even if it's only 2 hours and she didn't move from the stroller, she is very tired and sleeps very well at night. I think she gets tired from looking around when she is out.

Other than that I am not sure what you can do but hope your baby will resolve the mix up. Don't play with her at night or turn on the light? All babies are different so what worked for mine might or might not work for others. My baby is very good with her sleeping and bath times but got so much reflux/vomiting problem when eating. Then my neighbour's baby no prob with eating but always cry like beserk when taking bath. So all babies are different.