how are you happy & used to staying with inlaws ?

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friendlypinky

Member
hi all, how are you happy & used to staying with inlaws ?
just get married & staying with inlaws, hubby is only son, mother inlaw (MIL), 2 sister inlaw (1 elder (ESIL) & 1 same age (YSIL) ),
not very good relantionship with ESIL, single still not married.
sometimes look like no privacy, like been watch every second, sometimes things can be mix up between we 3 girls, me, ESIL & YSIL,
as MIL is the 1 who handle all the housethings & houswork, queen of the house, better still, no need me to help around, I only do
my own things plus hubby things, thats all, same as my ESIL & YSIL.
MIL once awhile will ask me, when I want to have baby, is been a year plus since we get married, as my hubby is only son, MIL is
late 50s already, hoping to have grandchildren as soon possible, told her, we trying our best anyway, let natural do the job.
so how are you happy & used to staying with inlaws ?
 
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Alisa

Active Member
we do have unhappy times but we also have happy times. that will depends on your relationship with yr in-laws. but with in-laws, they will be able to help u on yr baby, especially so when i am preg with 2nd wan now.
 
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friendlypinky

Member
sometimes got also good & happy times staying with inlaw, maybe next time when I give birth, she can take care my baby while both of us is working.
 
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Xtinee

Member
Been staying with in laws for 2 years while waiting for my flat.
Still ok i guess its mutual respect.
The sister in law brings the kids and can be very noisy, sometimes needs to take care of them.
But like you my in laws do all the housework, but I do feel bad because they are so old, but still let them do as they like to do it their way.
My hubby also the only son so mother in law is also asking us to have baby... normal ba
 
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friendlypinky

Member
sometimes I do things, she don’t like, say this not good,that not good, etc. , always say she had more experience than me, know better,I know she want me good but the way she do might not suit me, with her oldfashion way, complain of my dressing, mix with friends, etc.
MIL sometimes busybody, join in quarrel times between me& hubby, always side with him, even if he is wrong in the 1[SUP]st[/SUP]place, e.g. lately he after work always with friends, coming back late, thennext day sleepy, tired, to work, told him few times, if want to go, go weekend,no need to work next day, he don’t like, angry, MIL join in, say, sometimes asa wife, need to understand, man work very hard outside for living, let them relax,have sometimes with friends, happy & enjoy, once awhile is OK but everynight, that’s too much already, how if he over abuse, do something outside, “bringing“ sometimes back, then too late already.
he like been spoil by his mum, who side by him whatever too.
 
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skt

Member
I still prefer staying on my own to staying with mother in law though she doesn't control me much. But I feel I am being "watched" for whatever I do at home, I am guessing she just doesn't trust how myself or my husband do things at home including the way we cook or place our shoes.

Just like friendlypinky's mother in law, mine will also comment what I eat is not good, the way I cook is wrong, the food I buy has been kept too long, even after I wash the utensils, she will just wash all over again, she probably think I dont't clean well enough. She may have meant well, but I just dont't feel comfortable about it. I believe I am old enough to look after myself and have my own of habit.

She has her own habits (like differentiating which plastic bags for rubbish, which one for resuable, imagine I have to keep disturbed from sleep by the plastic noise once every few days when she is tidying the plastic bags? keeping tonnes of containers and bottles, wrapping everything with plastic bags, so unglam, I won't dare to invite my friends to my house if my house is full of plastic bags all over! She will wake up like 6.30am, do her things without turning on the lights, a few times I got a shock seeing someone sitting or standing in the dark when I was preparing for work, she would wash her metal utensils with a noise level, without considering that we are still alseep, back at my parents' place, everyone will just lower down the noise level if someone is sleeping, I think that's basic consideration, and the list goes on.) which I don't quite like it, but I don't say all my complains out, afraid I may affect the r/s with my husband. I am quite a picky one, which is why all the more I insist not to stay with her once my flat is ready. I do feel unhappy with her but also with myself. It's obviously I cannot give in to her habits, neither can I ask her to change for me especially she has been like that for the past 60 years~ But my husband will insist to let her move in with her as she is old. Bear in mind, she still has 2 elder sons, who don't bother about her as well, probably because of her habits.

The only good thing is probably she doesn't control my whereabouts, and how I tidy my room.

But I still cannot agree to have mother in law move in when my flat arrives, been discussing this with my husband on this issue and it is really affecting our mood and r/s.
 
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minako85

minako85

Member
I can't wait to have my own flat so that I can be more of myself. Tbh, it's not easy to stay with in laws and have zero conflicts.
I have a few conflicts with her, and it all started becuz of her. I always ignore and try to shake it off until one day I exploded because she really gone too far.

we were on a cruise trip we stayed in the same cabin room. Me my husband my 2 yr old son and my mother in law.
on our second day, I went to use the toilet right after she used it. So just my pure bad luck, the toilet bowl wasn't able to flush properly after I used it, so I told y husband. Immed she interfered by accusing me of throwing my sanitary pad in the bowl that's y I can't flush. Wtf is this?!
I didn't throw my pad and I know it so I told her NO. My husband then asked me did I really not throw my pad inside? I was furious so I bring him into the toilet and show him where I throw my pads, so he believed me but that stupid old lady STILL DON'T BELIEVE. She is just unreasonable and ridiculous like this. So we started quarrelling in front of my husband. I stopped after a few more loud exchanges with that old woman becuz I know my husband is sandwiched in between. But I was just damn angry when I alrdy proved that I didn't throw my pads inside! Even after we informed the housekeeping, they also revealed that the toilet bowls from that whole stretch of cabins from that deck is out of order! So it wasn't my fault!! But that cb woman kept on harping n harping like it was my fault! I can't stand her!! I am blamed for the slightest things! Why must I put up with all this shit from her?!

After our trip, when we got back home, she is the typical 38 婆 who complained to her relatives on the phone about me RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Treating me as if I am totally transparent! And she went on saying its a waste of money, the food is horrible and She shouldn't have Go! The trip is paid by her filial son yet she said all this. Really speechless with this stupid old woman.

oh and I forgot to add that in the phone conversation of talking bad about me, she then went on to praise her own daughter very very good LOL. Of cuz own daughter say good la. her big daughter is richer, can give her anything she ask or wants, visit her once in a long while of cuz will be at their best attitude. Just like when I visit my parents, buy them some gifts on occasions, bring grandson for them to see of cuz they feel happy. Who will talk bad about their own daughters? Sometimes I don't understand why these mother in laws doesn't realise that we are also someone else's daughter ? Why r we treated differently?? My conscience is clear, I had never done anything bad to her or disrespect her(except on the cruise trip which is the last straw that causes me to explode), y must I tolerate all her stupid nonsense??
I have another year or more to getting my own home. I really really can't wait.
 
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minako85

minako85

Member
This morning picks on me again!

her nosy friends and relatives called and I answer the phone. She is in the toilet I told the friend, and the friend say will call back.
so I say ok and put down. Then the friend call her again few minutes later and my mil picked up and COMPLAINS loudly enough for me to hear saying I very guai lan never tell her I was like wtf ??!!!
Shes in the toilet what and since the friend say will call back so I tot there is no need to tell her ma?!
like that also Kena scold guai Lan! Fucking Ccb! Early morning Kena scold again for nothing! Really really hate her more and more! Stupid old woman!
 
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Pepper12

Member
Hey. Think every mil is like dat wan ba. I oso dun like my mil. Sometimes she is too possessing. She taking care my son (7mth). But I regret letting her take care. Coz I have dat feeling she wan my son to b close with her side de family (my hus relative). If I go back my mum place she will give a face. Damn it. This is my son not hers lors. But lucky I moving out soon. No need to face her, and lucky my hus agree to put my baby into infant care.
 
KiBin

KiBin

Member
staying with MIL most of the time will have problems... need to learn to close BOTH eyes then can survive well... am i too pessimistic? ;)
 
minako85

minako85

Member
Sometime even try to close both eyes also no use. Cuz some mil is simply like that. Say and complain out loud to make sure u can hear!
and not forget to mention that they will also praise their own daughter NON STOP infront of u. Sometime really feel like giving her a tight slap to shut up.
 
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sgmel

Member
Agree with you. I hope my flat will come faster. I can't stand my in laws as well. Stay together still need to call everyday. Their own son also don't practice such thing. That always result me to leave the house before they are back and come home when they are asleep. I think I'm happier this way.
 
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Fisherman's Friend

Member
Super duper unhappy!! Especially when I have an irritating sil too!! Though I dun stay with my sil, but she will often come over with her kids to eat. And she jolly well knew her mum cannot cook, still insist on coming...her kids are horrible too. Enter pple's rooms without permission, jump on pple's beds, anyhow touch pple's things. I'm just tolerating till my own flat comes!
 
minako85

minako85

Member
Tell u guys a ridiculous incident! I was looking for my son's bib that day, and I thought my son Was the one who lost it because he usually throws things ard the house until cannot find so I give up looking for it. That time I'm not aware that actually is my mil who kept it away so I didn't ask her. GUESS WHAT??! She actually know I was looking for it!! But she keep quiet!!! Wtf?!? She know ppl looking for it she cannot just tell ppl where she put it??! She told my husband she waiting for ppl to ask her but how come I never ask her is it because I don't want talk to her?!!? CRAZY. As if I can read her mind and stuffs??!

this cb woman is getting more ridiculous everyday!
 
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sgmel

Member
Childish in law. Next time if you know she do such thing, you go and buy new one instead and gek her. Hahaha. You don't really talk to her?
 
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