How many years between kids??

[Cool Cotton]

I'm having a 1.5yr old girl and now thinking how soon should I be pregnant again? Some recommend 2 yrs while others say wait a while more. Being in my mid twenties, I can still wait but I'm afraid if the gap is too wide, it won't be too good.

Mummies, what you recommend.

 

[apollo]

well, i think it all depends on individual. most ppl tell me 1-2 yrs age gap is the best so they will be closer and many things can be pass down. But for me, i prefer my kids to have 3-4 yrs age gap. cos by the time ds is 3yo, he might understand more when we tell him more on the coming sibling. i have a fren whose 2 kids age gap is 4yrs, and the elder bro dote on the lil bro alot and can even play tgt. and i prefer to take care my kids on my own, so if the age gap is too near, might be abit tiring. haha..

 

[cheekbe]

I'm having a 1.5yr old girl and now thinking how soon should I be pregnant again? Some recommend 2 yrs while others say wait a while more. Being in my mid twenties, I can still wait but I'm afraid if the gap is too wide, it won't be too good.

Mummies, what you recommend.

Hi Cool Cotton,
I have a 10 months old girl and with hubby we're also discussing when we should start trying for a 2nd one... we sort of decided to wait until she's 1.5yr old... dont want to wait too long coz it may also take some time to get pregnant + another 9 months of pregnancy would be quite long already...

 

[kathtan]

If really want, don't wait. Sometimes it's not that you want, you will have it. I tried to conceive after 2 yrs of wonderful married life. Then, I had 2 miscarriages. When I finally had my 1st boy, I already hit 30s. Thinking that we shd spent good quality time with this hard-to-come-by boy, I waited till he was 3 before trying. Again, I met with more disappointment, I had 2 ectopic pregnancies, year after year. I then gave up trying as 1 of my fallopian tubes was removed after the ectopic. When I conceived again 2 yrs ago naturally with twins, i was elated but at the same time worried, I was already late 30s and reaching BIG 4 and my eldest boy is already coming to 10! Luckily, the preg went ok except for premature delivery. My point is, don't wait too long, it may be tough initialy but once they grow up, you will enjoy your fruits of labour. (Only sad thing for me is that I still have to wake up at 6am to send twins to school at the ripe old age of mid forties...)

 

[cheekbe]

Thanks Kathtan for sharing... I admire your determination :red:

 

[JJDad]

2-3 yrs gap is reasonable. dun wait too long as there will be more complications as age increases. ur parents or parents-in-law may also be too old to help look after ur kids by then.

 

[veronica]

My son was 4 when I gave birth to my gal. I found it just nice because he knows how to dote on his little sister. And at this age, they can fully understand our instructions. If say no..he knows its a no.

Of course the cons is due to age gap, they dont have common toys to share..

 

[autumn82]

All along, I had always preferred a 3-4yrs gap, so when it's my turn, of coz we planned to get preggie by 3rd year after the 1st so deliver during the 4th year. Just nice 4yrs gap between both my kids.

When I just delivered Iggy, Belle, being the elder sister will show her love to her brother and help out as and when needed. When Iggy hit 1 year old, he was bullying his poor sister. Belle just started P1, so Iggy doesn't see his sister that much as before, he tends to miss her keep on asking about her thru out the day. And they enjoyed playing with each other during weekends. LOL!

It all boils down to whether you're comfy looking after a NB and a toddler or a pre-schooler and a NB and also, agree with kathtan, you don't always get what you want. Good Luck!

 

[mayyamaysha]

My two girls are 1.5 and 3 yr old. My 3 yr old has turned out to be independent and helpful since the existence of my second child so she helps me 'take care' of the younger one. She'll always remind the younger one to hold hands, not to scribble on the floor and sofa, to drink more water on a hot day, etc.

It's true that it is tiring if you have children 1-2 yrs apart especially if u plan to take care of them by yourself (like me ) cos it's almost similar to having twins. But hubby and I have no regrets especially when I see them chase each other giggling and playing together at a very young age. It has also made my 3 yr old to be more mature than most 3 yr olds. I got feedback from her teachers that she is very caring towards the younger ones in sch too.

I think most importantly, you shd ask yourself what u want out of having children big/small in age gap. There are siblings 5-6 yrs apart who do get along cos the parents are capable at handling sibling squabbles and nip them in the butt before it spoils their sibling relationship. And there are siblings a year apart in age who don't get along, (like my friend and her brother). Maybe it's cos different gender but thats a different topic altogether.