How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??

mae

mae

Active Member
sorry to disagree that sex can make a couple more closer. Because it is supposed to be done with full emotions of love and happiness. Now if that is your way to comfort each other after a fight I would say that it doesn't give you much assurance and comfort at all. The problem still remain as is... as we can see the title of this thread..."how to make marriage work WHEN you DON'T FEEL LOVE anymore??? Will marriage work having sex everyday without talking about the root of the problem...on why love faded? on why there is a change of feelings??? When you feel that there is a one way relationship between you and your spouse??? SEX is a word that simply means So EXciting & we cannot differentiate MAKING LOVE as SEX.

JMHO...

Cheers,
Mae:)
 
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L

little_twin_stars

Member
what is love?

It is a very complicated thing.

I can say that if u don't love the person anymore, u will not even bother to quarrel and fight with him.

how to make the marriage work? well, we always say dh did not do this or that but do we do enough also for dh? or we do it for our children?

When I had my dd#1, my attention was all at her. and i left dh out of the pic.. so much so that we don't talk much. The it did not help that I was watching korean dramas... so it does affect how i feel abt my dh ...

however, i realised that marriage last when we continue to pa-tor like before.
 
mae

mae

Active Member
OPEN COMMUNICATION is the most important thing for marriage to work. For some, they are shy to tell their dh to do this & that when they are making love...don't you know that by telling what you want in bed can also make you both feel happy and satisfied with each other...so don't hesitate to say what can make you happy. Nobody else not even your dh can make you feel happy...but only you yourself.
 
deardar

deardar

Member
is it possible to ML almost everyday??
i agree wif wad mae had said


we nid to solve the root of the problem
 
tommyBoi

tommyBoi

Alpha Male
I agreed wif mae.. sex is not the only way to show ur love and solve the problem.
There are many ways to show ur love beside sex..
If having sex can solve all the problems about love, then we wont have so high divorced rate in singapore, about 20 cases a day.
Moreover, Making Love can be fake also.. some man do visualise abt having sex with another woman while making love wif their wife.

How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??
My ans is very simple... if there is no love anymore, y still want to make the marriage work?

If there is still love, both parties shld sit down together and tell each other how u feel and how to find ways to make Love grow.. and not let it fade.
 
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mae

mae

Active Member
tommyBoi said:
I agreed wif mae.. sex is not the only way to show ur love and solve the problem.
There are many ways to show ur love beside sex..
If having sex can solve all the problems about love, then we wont have so high divorced rate in singapore, about 20 cases a day.
Moreover, Making Love can be fake also.. some man do visualise abt having sex with another woman while making love wif their wife.

How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??
My ans is very simple... if there is no love anymore, y still want to make the marriage work?

If there is still love, both parties shld sit down together and tell each other how u feel and how to find ways to make Love grow.. and not let it fade.
Click to expand...
i think it will be better that everytime you agree to statements you should give that person a REPUTATION & give your reason in the box on why you agree with her/him. :tlaugh::tlaugh: (sshhhhh...spam for once only)
 
priscilla

priscilla

Member
For me, personally I think

1) Think of the other party is better than myself,

2) Instead of asking what he can do for me, I ask myself what can I do to make it better for him,

3) Open communication - Dh does left me notes easily when he is busy or just drop me a email or a short call on the phone and I do the same too,

4) Spend time doing things as a couple, we go for 10km runs together and of course, we push ds in a jogger stroller (too long a distance for him),

5)Set aside time daily to chat with each other, we do it after ds sleeps at night, 15-30 minutes to really have a heart to heart talk,

6) Have a couple day or night per week, we sometimes left our boy with our neighbours for an hour or two and they do the same with their kids over at our place, which is good for a short date, have coffee at the cafe etc,

7) Cultivate same interests

8) Personally, we do spend sometimes together reading the bible as a family and pray together.

Marriage is like a garden required effort to keep the love alive. And do dress up for your husbands as well.
 
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S

Supergirl

Member
Carole said:
"Have sex almost everyday!" I read an article in "Readers' Digest" years ago. I can't find the article anymore or else I'll post it here for everyone to read! It talked about a mother telling her daughter on her wedding (before walking into down the aisle). The daughter was stunned tat her mum was telling her tat. Well, years into her marriage and it was not working. She suddenly remembered her mother's advise. She used it.. and her marriage started working again. I dunno abt you.. But give it a shot... who knows.. it might work for you?
Click to expand...
JMHO

I think having sex often do make a difference in a biology sense. Men cannot hold for long without sex, else they will be very cranky and whatever communication will breakdown because he is in no mood to communicate.
 
`julee

`julee

Member
tommyBoi said:
I agreed wif mae.. sex is not the only way to show ur love and solve the problem.
There are many ways to show ur love beside sex..
If having sex can solve all the problems about love, then we wont have so high divorced rate in singapore, about 20 cases a day.
Moreover, Making Love can be fake also.. some man do visualise abt having sex with another woman while making love wif their wife.
Click to expand...
i feel used wen he try to have sex wen he think i hug & tell him to change for the better...

then he will say why i am not loving...

but i tell him sex is not the answer to the problem.. and love is not only by sex...
sadly he disagree and i hav to giv in.... :(
 
S

Supergirl

Member
tommyBoi said:
I agreed wif mae.. sex is not the only way to show ur love and solve the problem.
There are many ways to show ur love beside sex..
If having sex can solve all the problems about love, then we wont have so high divorced rate in singapore, about 20 cases a day.
Moreover, Making Love can be fake also.. some man do visualise abt having sex with another woman while making love wif their wife.

How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??
My ans is very simple... if there is no love anymore, y still want to make the marriage work?

If there is still love, both parties shld sit down together and tell each other how u feel and how to find ways to make Love grow.. and not let it fade.
Click to expand...
Check out Durex Global Sex Survey, Singapore is ranked the lowest in frequency of sex, that is maybe why divorce cases are high.

Another interesting thing to note, Singapore is not ranked the lowest in number of sexual partners.

Maybe one of the partner is frustrated with marriage without sex and seek other sexual partners, that is another problem added into marriage breakdown.

Just my own opinion.
 
Mrs Xie

Mrs Xie

Member
"NEVER REGRET SOMETHING THAT ONCE MADE YOU SMILE" :Dancing_wub:



This is my motto towards my dh and our marriage.... Think back the good times both of you have had together, think back how many ups n downs both of you had gone thru, think back all the happiness and sadness which nobody else can share the same memories with you except him.


I hope this quote can helps....
 
tommyBoi

tommyBoi

Alpha Male
`julee said:
i feel used wen he try to have sex wen he think i hug & tell him to change for the better...

then he will say why i am not loving...

but i tell him sex is not the answer to the problem.. and love is not only by sex...
sadly he disagree and i hav to giv in.... :(
Click to expand...
Some men r just not ready to be married, this is when all the problems come... agreed?
 
mae

mae

Active Member
TB some men are not ready to be married yet they go around and loiter their juices?:tlaugh:
 
michelle

michelle

Member
Maybe stress make us keep quarreling bah.. Mostly becoz of financial bah..

Anyway.. sometime my DH say me.. i will not very happy.. but at least he muz tahan my temper since when he not happy, show face.. i will just keep quiet but he cant.. which make me.. scare of him ma???(i wonder he think) that i cant show face too.. Sian... Which i say him... He like to bully me.. A GUY BULLY A GIRL.. and i say " u wan me to scare u iz" Damm angry

Maybe becoz of kids bah as when outing.. saw other family together, will abit heart ace de...

Luckily i am working mummy which make me more confidence that when he quarrel with me.. i jus keep quiet and think to myself that i wont be at home facing him.. and make us have less time..

Sometime i jus too simple minded but he say me childish.. Waat the F**
Hate him sia.. but after that still ok de.. as still got talking...
I dun give a damm too...
Now i dint quarrel wif him but when i think bk.. wont..ANGRY

Yup.. both parties should sit down and talk too but for me.. mine DH sure say not happy then divorce... I feel bored as he keep saying divorce until i sian...
 
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ditsypixie

ditsypixie

New Member
JMHO
personally for me,i feel tat love will nv die as long as u believe in it.
just to share,during my confinement,my dh just switched his work shift from 8hrs to 12hrs a day..was lonely w/o him even thou there were ppl arnd me.it was then when i felt all alone wif my kids.i even started crying,when my dh realised how i felt,this was wat he smsed me to cheer me up.
"...i have always been loving u,juz dat u hv been ignoring it until u dnt feel it anymore,dan u take time to notice...how can i ever leave u alone?pls dnt hurt me by doubting me..."
it was then when i realised wat i have done...
when u feel dwn,u act tink of all the neg things,but when u learn to pick things up,its all bright again..me n dh hv been together for almost 12yrs n its good to know tat there are still sparks in our marriage n we are still in our "honeymoon" stage..as we are both willing to do tings for each other just to make the other happy..
so i guess communication is still the key to a happy marriage..:tsmile:
 
Leanne

Leanne

Active Member
tommyBoi said:
I agreed wif mae.. sex is not the only way to show ur love and solve the problem.
There are many ways to show ur love beside sex..
If having sex can solve all the problems about love, then we wont have so high divorced rate in singapore, about 20 cases a day.
Moreover, Making Love can be fake also.. some man do visualise abt having sex with another woman while making love wif their wife.

How to make marriage work when u dun feel love anymore??
My ans is very simple... if there is no love anymore, y still want to make the marriage work?

If there is still love, both parties shld sit down together and tell each other how u feel and how to find ways to make Love grow.. and not let it fade.
Click to expand...
That may be true.

But dun forget, women FAKE orgasm too.
 
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