Hubby always give the same old excuse

M

Mummyxin

New Member
Hubby always give me the same bloody excuse that he is "tired" from work. (He is working night shift everyday)
No sex for more then a year already as pregnant with 2nd one last year.

Makes me feel so desperate at times when he rejected me even when i want to give him a BJ!

He always say that i am very "xinfu" got maid,no need to work blah blah blah! All he knows is to claim credit for himself! He always say all his friends wives need to work and say i only need to stay at home surf net!

So what that he is the sole breadwinner? After work,come back bath and sleep! Takes the home as if is his hotel!I have my own needs too.

I don't shop,club or go out with friends as he don't like, he only want me to stay at home to "over looked the maid and 2 kids" i have been doing this for quite some time already and this makes him think that i am very "XINFU" but the way he treat me was mentally tortured!

What should i do? I thought of going back to work.I don't wish to waste my youth on a guy like this anymore.
 
F

Fisherman's Friend

Member
Can i ask what is your hubby working as? Maybe he is facing huge stress at work, that explains his behaviour bah. Well, if you think u can trust your maid to take of your 2 kids alone, then by all means return to the workforce. I personally think a woman must be financially independent.

As for the sex part, find a time when both are calm n relax and tok about it bah. I'm sure things can be worked out. :)
 
angiebaby

angiebaby

Member
nite driving is tired but i dont see how can a man reject bj, our forum member JJDAD will envoy to death...lol

he thinks you xinfu because you no need to work, but you must make him understand a house wife is not doing nothing and relax at home. i really think you should get a job and be financially independence and make your own friends and your own life, i cant agree that we stop personal life after having kids.

if he ask you why you wan to find a job, you can just tell him you wan him to be xinfu too, or you want to share the xinku, or you can say if you find and job and share the cost, maybe he can change to day time job and you will have more time spend together and with kids.
 
W

wanderful

Alpha Male
wow...your husband is a lucky man. It is not healthy for a married couple without sex.
Try to join the workforce and know more people....de-stress as well.
 
G

Gem2505

Member
totally agreed that mums like us should have a job. at least financially, we can pay our own expenses n not using hubby's money at all.
im always prepared to look after my bb myself should there be any failure in our marriage. savings comes in place in such situation. thats why alot mums keep "si fang $" its for rainy days. u dont know when u need it.
im holding a full time job + allowance which is about $3K n i dont think its sufficient at all. i even went to take property license. its something i can fall back on. extra income now n then, why not? i just closed a deal yest, althou not alot, but alot of "little" becomes alot. =)

get a job, find ur life. =) good luck.
 
Carlisle

Carlisle

Member
Sit and talk with him and find out what is going on. Offer suggestions to him like going to see a doctor or a counselor.
 
M

Mummyxin

New Member
Hi Mummies!

Everything clear today.
Just can't stopped crying....

He actually went to consult a doctor few months back and he confirm got some "men problem" he kept to himself as he feels that it is shameful to let me know. He shows me the receipt from the hospital.

I told him i want to go out work he he does not agreed. He wants me to stay at home and look after our kids. I told him i does not want him to be too stress then he told me watching our kids and seeing me looking happy makes all his stress worthwhile. =(
 
B

boredmtb

Member
oh dear! I think you need to give him lots of encouragement and love in other ways.. help him to overcome his low self-esteem.. This "men problem" can affect his ego greatly.. Actually one of the main cause of this male problem could also be driving for long hours...

Mummyxin, this is the time your hubby needs you..don't pressurise him to ML with you... All the best to you both!!
 
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