Hubby always outstation work

[FriendlyYanYan]

hello everyone, we married 3 years & have 1 year old son.

hubby always travel outstation for work, can say average in a month, 3 week outstation & 1 week
back home here, even if not outstation, come back home around 9.00pm+++, sometime need to
work late night at home too.

few days outstation, then few days back home here, then another few days outstation again, same rountine every month.

seldom have good communications, even weekend at home, lesser family outting too.

scared 1 day later, our relantionship might be in problem

please advice, what should I do ?

 

[Pocoyo80]

Your husband is really a frequent traveller. Is your husband taking a senior position in the company? It will be good to talk to him that it is not healthy for the relationship in the long term since he spend more time overseas than at home. If travelling is a MUST in his line of work, he will have to talk to his boss about it and to perhaps think about changing job for the family.

Just to share, my husband works in the shipping line and he used to travel very frequent but not as frequent as your hubby. He only travels 4-5 times a year and for very short durations. The more jialat part is Weekends and PH have to standby for work. He was usually the one to be called up for work during weekends and PH. Hence, i hardly plan any activities on such days. I can see he is also very tired. We spoke about it and i told him to consider changing job. He told his immediate superior about his concerns and now they don't send him overseas unless for courses which only last 1-2 days. He is also not required to be on standby for weekends and PH. They changed his job scope. I would say my hubby is happier now since is more routine and he can also spend more time with the family.

I understand some bosses may feel very upset if the employee refuse to travel. Your husband will need to prepare himself if the bosses refuse to accommodate him, which is last resort, change job. This is provided your hubby wants to cut down on travelling. For my husband, he is also tired of the frequent work during weekends and PH, that's why he voice out his unhappiness and it takes a lot of courage to do that as it may cost him to lose his job.

Have a good talk with your hubby. Your child is still young and i don't think he would want to miss out his important miloestones while he is overseas. Good luck.

 

[FriendlyYanYan]

hi Pocoyo80, thanks for reading my thread.

my hubby is taking a senior position in the company. we have discuss this issue & he talk to his boss before, either leave this company, find another job or continue travelling every month.

he stay much longer outside then stay at home, can say home is a hotel, hotel is a home, luckly all is provided during his outstation work, except certain thing/s only.

I have record my son growing up video for him to see when he is outstation. video somethings "else" also for him if he required/need it.

 

[Pocoyo80]

Since he has spoken to his boss, what are his thoughts? It looks like he has no choice but to travel if he wants to continue to work in this company. You will also need to consider about finances as well. If he can still enjoy his current pay if he is not travelling.

 

[FriendlyYanYan]

his mind, what will be the future to us later, told him I dont mind all those as long you know how to take care your health, $$$ cannot buy health too. last time before our son is born, once awhile I take leave, accompany him outstation, now cannot, have to take care our son, also I'm working mummy too.

I dont think he will get the same pay or benefits if he leave this company.

his temper also no good, sometimes we have arguement too for small minor issues. sometimes he say I dont care him, working outstation, stressfull, etc. I always take care his needs too, even what he wanted at home that time, even up to record some video for him when he outstation required/need it.