I do agree moving out is the best choice... I dunno what my mil said to my fil, which ended up with him chasing us out of their flat.. now I'm staying at my mom's place, more happy than ever. But... dunno why now she wants us to move back. Irritating. Of cos we r not moving back!
I hate my mil
- Thread starter Fisherman's Friend
- Start date
Fisherman's Friend
Member
I had spoken to him before, but u know la, that one is his mother, and with his sisters brain-washing him, i'll become the evil one -_-
So now i just keep quiet, hopefully he is able to see it himself..
peppermint
Member
I had spoken to him before, but u know la, that one is his mother, and with his sisters brain-washing him, i'll become the evil one -_-
So now i just keep quiet, hopefully he is able to see it himself..[/QUOTE]
Yes, the best is to keep quiet and let the man sees their true colors. They will, trust me!
I too spoken with him before about his mother and it did not turn out well because he is very protective of his mummy - he treats her like God. While everyone in the family, including his dad dislike his mummy because she is one cunning fox always up to no good. As for details, you can read about her in my post, the one on Mdm L.
Things are looking very well for me now. Even though i still face the same shit from her but my hubby is aware of her nonsense and I dare to tell my hubby that I am not comfortable with his mother because of this & that, not once but many times. And he will always appreciate me for being so tolerant of her. Most importantly, never ever put your hubby in a difficult position by being rude to his mummy. I never did no matter what that bitch said/done to me. I just act blur infront of her. But when I'm back home with my hubby, I'll explain to him why am I unhappy and how I have 'respected' his mummy by not being rude to her and to start a family tussle. It makes me a Saint
You must also pick the battle to fight and NOT fight every battle.
So now i just keep quiet, hopefully he is able to see it himself..[/QUOTE]
Yes, the best is to keep quiet and let the man sees their true colors. They will, trust me!
I too spoken with him before about his mother and it did not turn out well because he is very protective of his mummy - he treats her like God. While everyone in the family, including his dad dislike his mummy because she is one cunning fox always up to no good. As for details, you can read about her in my post, the one on Mdm L.
Things are looking very well for me now. Even though i still face the same shit from her but my hubby is aware of her nonsense and I dare to tell my hubby that I am not comfortable with his mother because of this & that, not once but many times. And he will always appreciate me for being so tolerant of her. Most importantly, never ever put your hubby in a difficult position by being rude to his mummy. I never did no matter what that bitch said/done to me. I just act blur infront of her. But when I'm back home with my hubby, I'll explain to him why am I unhappy and how I have 'respected' his mummy by not being rude to her and to start a family tussle. It makes me a Saint
You must also pick the battle to fight and NOT fight every battle.
Cupidlovesme
New Member
I'm now a mother myself & I understand the bond btw mother & son. No matter how bad your mil is, she's still ur husband's mother. The one who raised him up with blood, sweat and tears. No matter wat, THIS IS THE FACT.
I don't like my mil as well, especially when it comes to raising the kid, always got problems. Tried to talk to my hubby but he'll get very defensive of his mother. He's not a mummy boy but he's very filial. He said 'she's my mother, due to respect, watever we can give in, just give in'. So it actually depends on ur hubby, wat kinda man he is. Most men don't like to be in between, if we continue to complain about his mother, our marriage will be doomed. I've learned, watever my mil says to me, left ear in right ear out. Sometimes when she's too much & I can't tahan, I rant to my frens with the same problems.
Most importantly, DO NOT talk bad things of ur mil to ur hubby, it will minus the points u've in his heart. To win, we've to be wise, try to act like victim yet no complain. The key is act 'wei qu', than the 'complaining-non-stop' bitch. Your hubby will see & appreciate u more. Ya damn evil I know, but bo bian no choice.
I keep telling myself I'll be a good mil next time, so everyone will be happy =)
I don't like my mil as well, especially when it comes to raising the kid, always got problems. Tried to talk to my hubby but he'll get very defensive of his mother. He's not a mummy boy but he's very filial. He said 'she's my mother, due to respect, watever we can give in, just give in'. So it actually depends on ur hubby, wat kinda man he is. Most men don't like to be in between, if we continue to complain about his mother, our marriage will be doomed. I've learned, watever my mil says to me, left ear in right ear out. Sometimes when she's too much & I can't tahan, I rant to my frens with the same problems.
Most importantly, DO NOT talk bad things of ur mil to ur hubby, it will minus the points u've in his heart. To win, we've to be wise, try to act like victim yet no complain. The key is act 'wei qu', than the 'complaining-non-stop' bitch. Your hubby will see & appreciate u more. Ya damn evil I know, but bo bian no choice.
I keep telling myself I'll be a good mil next time, so everyone will be happy =)
I think mostly DIL hate MIL. Me too. I super anti her due to kids problem. She taking care my son & she oways ask my son to call her 'mama' like ah ma like dat. I'm like she shld teach the correct way is ah ma. N not mama. Mama is for mummy not mehs. She oways love to show off to others that my son can call her super well. But when it come to mummy, my son cant really call me. I just hate her to the max. Feel like telling her but just bcoz of my hus. I worry he will caught in between.
I don't really like my mil mainly becos of how bias she is. i knew it before i officially married to my hubby.
abit of her background, young time has family business somehow gone to debt. so now in 50s is trying to pay it. my hubby suggested her before in declare bankrupt to lessen the burden but she dun wan say incase next time wan do things very troublesome. my hubby uncle (her bro who has a part in the business) declare bankrupt and is now a happi man as he is debt free and out of bankrupt status. if she would have done it she would be out too instead she go for the extreme. my fil sold the hse they had in central area and most of the money goes to her. is a big amount and she use all and sold some of the golds to pay the debt. in the end she is still left with quite a lump sum. after selling the hse, my hubby and his sister who is unmarried got a hse so the family could stay together. however, due to her debt, my hubby has to work his ass off giving 70% of his pay to her to pay her debts. my fil kept some of the money from the sale of hse and use it on daily necessity but was always said by my mil for not giving her the rest of the money and being stingy. 1 logic thinking, he already gave you the major share of money from the sale of hse and you wan him to give u more? plus he is not keeping the money for gamble or himself but spend on house stuff include the reno of the hse my hubby and his sis got it. to me his "stingy" is the one that keep you alive and hunger free.
my hubby on the other end not earning much not becos his pay is less but is becos my mil always ask for money. is 70% of the pay my hubby gets so most of the time my hubby is on hunger on lunch time during work and come home for dinner. is also the same time i get to know him and become his girlfriend. i soon stay with him but most of the time i stay in his room so as not to disturb the living of the family life. i help do some basic cleaning to the toilet and the room my hubby use so as not to be seen as free stayer. i return home weekly to wash my clothings until we r together for 1 yr den i move in on full but with my stuff at my own hse. (only myself and some clothings n daily use items). i onli put my stuff in my hubby room which i clean it up ( you know guys room >_>). to help lessen my mil burden in her debt, my hubby gave up his room and rented it to a colleague and he himself move to the room next to the kitchen which doesnt have air con and proper bed. the sister rejects the idea but since is my hubby giving up his room she got nothing to say. so the full rental goes to my mil. with my hubbys 70% pay and the rental, the money she get mthly is as good as a admin staff. but it is not enough for her.
when my hubby's collegue move out the hse, he moves back to his room that when we get to enjoy the a/c. the sister who previously rejects the idea of renting rented the room to her friends at a super below market price. even lower den a single guy renting a room. still the money goes to mil. in the meantime mil find a job in office and start to work as well. however, that does not mean her money mind stops. once in a while, on top of the mthly 70% money she get from my hubby, she will ask for more giving reason, u all use a/c we don't use tat much. therefore the mthly money only go up nver go down worse den government inflation. even when she go company trip she ask for my hubby to give her money. but after giving her the mthly allowance, he does not have much left. on the other hand his sister only has to pay elec bill ( which inflation paid by my hubby) and she purposely finding easy job to work which pays comes low, but still able to go overseas twice a year.
however, i still choose to love my hubby becos despite his mother do these to him, he still thinks of helping and looking after. many of my friends even my mum says y i choose him as he is not very well doing but to me, is that i know with him, he will look after me. these does not come easy. at first, toking to him about his mother makes him angry saying that we should help her no matter what and when i raise the issue of us getting a hse of our own, he say his family will not be able to get their own hse due to his sister pay and his mothers debt. i slowly get the idea of selling the current hse and get 2 hse into his head and that if his mum or sis runs into debts again, at least we got 2 hse. not 1. done alot financial studies with my friends and feels that is the best for my hubby. as times goes, he sees it and he agrees. even till now if we were to have any planning my ideas is not brush off. to many girls that feels their hubby only listen to mil n not them, please understand, before he got u, hs mum is part of his life. you have to prove ur idea works and not head hard with him which most of the time ruin the relationship. i personally feel that it is not worth it. understanding your other partner is the key to get ur thinking and ideas to his mind. not to everyday chant at him on ur ideas but once in a while voice ur ideas or thinkings, he might not like to listen to it at first but as time goes by, what he see and hear he might link it to what u had said and even consult his friends abt it. if your ideas and thinking proves to be right, it is only time that he will value u more. not say that in this hubby relation u r first, but is how u prove to him you r first in his place. i think in this way alot of miscommunication and misunderstanding can turn into understanding n lasting relationship.
eventually we got married and got a house of our own, alot hiccups in the way but we pass it with the support of friends. now we r waiting to welcome our new family members and hope we r able to give him a well life.
we manage to live away from my mil control and without seeing each other daily, friction is lessen. sister has to get rid her laziness and find proper job with pay that she can pay her hse not living off her brother. mil cannot do daily knocking asking for more money. on and off she still calls or msg my hubby to give her more money but i told my hubby to know his priority. he is less giving into my mil which my mil super dislike and says he forget his family but despite her mean comments and words he still give allowance but not tat much prior our hse. i hope time will come to let my mil know that her son is not her money tree or someone who pays her debt. and also she has 2 child not onli 1. i simply cant stand the bias my hubby facing which makes me more firm in getting him out of the hell hole.
lets hope after our child came to tis world can make all realise what is important. not money but relationship.
abit of her background, young time has family business somehow gone to debt. so now in 50s is trying to pay it. my hubby suggested her before in declare bankrupt to lessen the burden but she dun wan say incase next time wan do things very troublesome. my hubby uncle (her bro who has a part in the business) declare bankrupt and is now a happi man as he is debt free and out of bankrupt status. if she would have done it she would be out too instead she go for the extreme. my fil sold the hse they had in central area and most of the money goes to her. is a big amount and she use all and sold some of the golds to pay the debt. in the end she is still left with quite a lump sum. after selling the hse, my hubby and his sister who is unmarried got a hse so the family could stay together. however, due to her debt, my hubby has to work his ass off giving 70% of his pay to her to pay her debts. my fil kept some of the money from the sale of hse and use it on daily necessity but was always said by my mil for not giving her the rest of the money and being stingy. 1 logic thinking, he already gave you the major share of money from the sale of hse and you wan him to give u more? plus he is not keeping the money for gamble or himself but spend on house stuff include the reno of the hse my hubby and his sis got it. to me his "stingy" is the one that keep you alive and hunger free.
my hubby on the other end not earning much not becos his pay is less but is becos my mil always ask for money. is 70% of the pay my hubby gets so most of the time my hubby is on hunger on lunch time during work and come home for dinner. is also the same time i get to know him and become his girlfriend. i soon stay with him but most of the time i stay in his room so as not to disturb the living of the family life. i help do some basic cleaning to the toilet and the room my hubby use so as not to be seen as free stayer. i return home weekly to wash my clothings until we r together for 1 yr den i move in on full but with my stuff at my own hse. (only myself and some clothings n daily use items). i onli put my stuff in my hubby room which i clean it up ( you know guys room >_>). to help lessen my mil burden in her debt, my hubby gave up his room and rented it to a colleague and he himself move to the room next to the kitchen which doesnt have air con and proper bed. the sister rejects the idea but since is my hubby giving up his room she got nothing to say. so the full rental goes to my mil. with my hubbys 70% pay and the rental, the money she get mthly is as good as a admin staff. but it is not enough for her.
when my hubby's collegue move out the hse, he moves back to his room that when we get to enjoy the a/c. the sister who previously rejects the idea of renting rented the room to her friends at a super below market price. even lower den a single guy renting a room. still the money goes to mil. in the meantime mil find a job in office and start to work as well. however, that does not mean her money mind stops. once in a while, on top of the mthly 70% money she get from my hubby, she will ask for more giving reason, u all use a/c we don't use tat much. therefore the mthly money only go up nver go down worse den government inflation. even when she go company trip she ask for my hubby to give her money. but after giving her the mthly allowance, he does not have much left. on the other hand his sister only has to pay elec bill ( which inflation paid by my hubby) and she purposely finding easy job to work which pays comes low, but still able to go overseas twice a year.
however, i still choose to love my hubby becos despite his mother do these to him, he still thinks of helping and looking after. many of my friends even my mum says y i choose him as he is not very well doing but to me, is that i know with him, he will look after me. these does not come easy. at first, toking to him about his mother makes him angry saying that we should help her no matter what and when i raise the issue of us getting a hse of our own, he say his family will not be able to get their own hse due to his sister pay and his mothers debt. i slowly get the idea of selling the current hse and get 2 hse into his head and that if his mum or sis runs into debts again, at least we got 2 hse. not 1. done alot financial studies with my friends and feels that is the best for my hubby. as times goes, he sees it and he agrees. even till now if we were to have any planning my ideas is not brush off. to many girls that feels their hubby only listen to mil n not them, please understand, before he got u, hs mum is part of his life. you have to prove ur idea works and not head hard with him which most of the time ruin the relationship. i personally feel that it is not worth it. understanding your other partner is the key to get ur thinking and ideas to his mind. not to everyday chant at him on ur ideas but once in a while voice ur ideas or thinkings, he might not like to listen to it at first but as time goes by, what he see and hear he might link it to what u had said and even consult his friends abt it. if your ideas and thinking proves to be right, it is only time that he will value u more. not say that in this hubby relation u r first, but is how u prove to him you r first in his place. i think in this way alot of miscommunication and misunderstanding can turn into understanding n lasting relationship.
eventually we got married and got a house of our own, alot hiccups in the way but we pass it with the support of friends. now we r waiting to welcome our new family members and hope we r able to give him a well life.
we manage to live away from my mil control and without seeing each other daily, friction is lessen. sister has to get rid her laziness and find proper job with pay that she can pay her hse not living off her brother. mil cannot do daily knocking asking for more money. on and off she still calls or msg my hubby to give her more money but i told my hubby to know his priority. he is less giving into my mil which my mil super dislike and says he forget his family but despite her mean comments and words he still give allowance but not tat much prior our hse. i hope time will come to let my mil know that her son is not her money tree or someone who pays her debt. and also she has 2 child not onli 1. i simply cant stand the bias my hubby facing which makes me more firm in getting him out of the hell hole.
lets hope after our child came to tis world can make all realise what is important. not money but relationship.
Ur fil never for once tell her off?
Dun ur mil knows bankruptcy is not the end of the world, just need to make monthly payments within her means once all the debts clear her status will be clear.
Guess my fil said my mil in early stage but she always very stubborn and thinks she is always rite, we r always wrong and mus listen to her. It is worse den toking to a stone. Other den calling her son for money she nver call ask if baby is ok anot. Somehow she chase her son to stay away from her. Guess is a bless not staying together at least my child no need see the face of self centered granny or hear someone bad mouthing his parents.