If your husband have affair do u give him a 2nd chance?
- Thread starter Spiralng
- Start date
chiro
Active Member
hi spiral, give him a chance to severe the extra marital affair and to rejuvenate the marriage. Marriage is all about forgiving and forgiving , again and again. The truth hurts, let forgiveness seal up the wound.
lisa_ng
Active Member
for me very much depends how far or to what extend their affair had went.
and if hb is repentance on his act and how can he assure of such will not happen again.
on the wife's part is about building the trust back again.
i will not say i will leave him for good when this have not happen to me.
i believe most of us including myself will not be able to leave the hb just like tat even though an extramarital affair seems serious enough.
and if hb is repentance on his act and how can he assure of such will not happen again.
on the wife's part is about building the trust back again.
i will not say i will leave him for good when this have not happen to me.
i believe most of us including myself will not be able to leave the hb just like tat even though an extramarital affair seems serious enough.
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Hi Chiro,
The affair already severe with immediate effect. I am a very observant(can be detective) so the min i sense something is not right, i put a stop to it. The affair only last 3 months.
My heart really break and at that time, I almost commit sucide and I guess that really scare the shit out of him. Throughout our years of marriage(6yrs), he never see me cry and everynight, tears will be flowing. In the end, i chose to forgive him as I felt he still care for me. At least he never push me down the building:001_302:
But somehow or rather, even though I can forgive, i can't forget and that's the problem. I dun want to mention this affair in front of him as i promise to forgive him but when he is away, the suspicion start....Haiz...wat to do....go to motherhood forum read people's thread.
ancing_wub:..and post thread so that i won't think so much...otherwise, I think will go bonkers:we2Randy-git:
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Leaving is never a gd solution unless left with no choice.
lisa_ng
Active Member
it's always the trust that can never be the same when such happens.
getting suspicious will be like every day work.
don't let assumption gets the better of you.
try to relax a bit, in fact it will give your hb more confidence if you treat him like before. put some trust in him again.
lisa_ng
Active Member
hmm.. i think you may want to let your hubby know about the suspicious u still get of him after the betrayal. not to probe about about where he went or who he's with. not asking him to report his movements oso.
juz to let him know how bad you felt at times.
i believe his assurance to you works better than any of our comments here.
at all other times, find someone to chat with. throw out all the bad feelings. hearing other advices may calm you for a moment or two.
juz to let him know how bad you felt at times.
i believe his assurance to you works better than any of our comments here.
at all other times, find someone to chat with. throw out all the bad feelings. hearing other advices may calm you for a moment or two.
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Hmm....true, I only get suspicious when he went oversea to the woman's hometown like these past few days. Other days, I relax cos his schedule quite fixed won't have chance to fool around.
When i say i forgive him, i treat him like before, pampering him, giving him head massage at night, cook for him and help him spend his $$$$:001_302:
lisa_ng
Active Member
sound pretty normal to me. hehe
even my hb did not betray our marriage, i may oso get a little suspicious of him when he have to work overnight.
yes.. spending hb's money helps to relieve some unknown stress.
it works for me as well but of course a comfortable amount only.
good to see that you are working your way to put the past behind.
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
My husband know that I am always suspicious only when he travel oversea. The great thing about me is I don't probe where he went or who he is with cos I told him once if he wants his freedom, he just hv to let me know cos i will not be asking him. He gets very irritated if I tell him how I feel so it's a mutual agreement that we don't bring this issue up. I find that this forum hv many nice people u r one of them:tlaugh:. I would like to share and at the same time learn from others their thoughts and views on this topic :001_302:. And sharing is also a kind of stress relieve....hee hee....dun worry, I don't have any sucide thoughts....:nah:
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Hee...hee...I am and spending Hb's money is not to relieve stress but it's to prevent the heartache u get if he spend it on other woman.:001_302:sound pretty normal to me. hehe
even my hb did not betray our marriage, i may oso get a little suspicious of him when he have to work overnight.
yes.. spending hb's money helps to relieve some unknown stress.
it works for me as well but of course a comfortable amount only.
good to see that you are working your way to put the past behind.
lisa_ng
Active Member
oh better not to bring up again. let it pass.
phew... tot you feeling upset at this wee hour. hehe
lisa_ng
Active Member
eh... mayb should not have this tot.
i spend my hb money to reward my hard day work..hehe sounds better hor. :tlaugh:
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
Ehhh...acutally I am quite upset....that's why need to post something to destress. I am quite a positive person. I find that it's easier to end a marriage and harder to maintain it. That is why I don't believe in stressing my husband cos it will only push him further away i only stress his pockets....
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
As i mention, you too nice I hv evil thoughts that is why i think differently...ha ha ha
lisa_ng
Active Member
ok ma.. you are in the right state of mind. :001_302:
but still dun be upset ok.. appreciate and enjoy every moment ur hb spent with you.
chiro
Active Member
i see, can sense that he still care for you through his anxiety. Dun think so much over it, reading and responding to threads in forum is good way to unwind, but its important that our sleep is sufficient hehe
Hi Chiro,
The affair already severe with immediate effect. I am a very observant(can be detective) so the min i sense something is not right, i put a stop to it. The affair only last 3 months.
My heart really break and at that time, I almost commit sucide and I guess that really scare the shit out of him. Throughout our years of marriage(6yrs), he never see me cry and everynight, tears will be flowing. In the end, i chose to forgive him as I felt he still care for me. At least he never push me down the building:001_302:
But somehow or rather, even though I can forgive, i can't forget and that's the problem. I dun want to mention this affair in front of him as i promise to forgive him but when he is away, the suspicion start....Haiz...wat to do....go to motherhood forum read people's thread.
I have warn my hubby before, I'll nv forgive him if it really happen, my boy boy will only be my boy boy, will nv be yrs anymore... I can't imagine he :we2Randy-git: to another woman and then he want :we2Randy-git: to me... but sometimes got cheap woman free 'gift' leh...Hi Chiro,
The affair already severe with immediate effect. I am a very observant(can be detective) so the min i sense something is not right, i put a stop to it. The affair only last 3 months.
My heart really break and at that time, I almost commit sucide and I guess that really scare the shit out of him. Throughout our years of marriage(6yrs), he never see me cry and everynight, tears will be flowing. In the end, i chose to forgive him as I felt he still care for me. At least he never push me down the building:001_302:
But somehow or rather, even though I can forgive, i can't forget and that's the problem. I dun want to mention this affair in front of him as i promise to forgive him but when he is away, the suspicion start....Haiz...wat to do....go to motherhood forum read people's thread.
Children is the most pity when such things happen. If he change, maybe I'll forgive for the sake of our son. If he nv change, I'll divorce him and make him give us money every month, so tat he got no money for the 'foxy woman', I'll nv choose sucide and let him be so happy with the woman.. Let him choose, the foxy woman or us...
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
hee hee.....you are right, I am too wide awake that is why start to hv all these thoughts. If hv sufficient thoughts, then no time to think....wat to do, I old lady no need so much sleep....
Spiralng
Well-Known Member
My husband also kena warned before but useless. Somemore, still can turn around and say I over sensitive. In the end, I have to rely on my guts feelings and GOD's help by digging for evidence then confront him. Lesson learned, never confront them till you have concrete evidence.
My first thought on discovering the affair was to divorce him. But later on second thoughts, wouldn't that fulfilled the wish of the "foxy woman". Furthermore, I noticed my children behaviour start to changed cos in the past, we are really loving every weekend bring kids out to play whole family holding hands and blocking people's path...:001_302: so for the sake of the kids, I decided to forgive him and not kick up a fuss.
Forgiving means never mention the affairs again not letting any of my parents, in laws and relatives know. That's why all the bottling up is bad for the health...:embarrassed: