In-law woes

[Sleepybear]

I am staying with my in-laws, and with the arrival of my baby, realises that there are different views of how things should be done between my in laws and myself (generation gap I guess)..

We have different views on:
- to bring the baby out or not (I am for bringing my 1+ month baby out, but they are against it)
- the place the baby sleeps (sarong all the time which I am not for it)
- clothes the baby wears during day time (long trousers which I find too hot for this weather.. he is perspiring all the time)
etc etc...

I know that we all want good for the baby regardless of the different views we have.. But it does get a little frustrating at times..

Anyone staying with their in-laws have any advice for me?

 

[Carlisle]

I agreed we all want good for our baby regardless of the different view we have, but as a mother you should have the priority first to decision whats good for your baby and their advices and views will be carried out as suggestions, but however it depends on the certain situations like if the mother has no experience on that, so you should take the advices.

 

[clearjade]

It can definitely get frustrating even though everyone just wants what is best for baby.

My in-laws also have similar thinking as yours which is characteristic of their generation I guess. I was anticipating this when pregnant and knowing that we will be staying with my in-laws until our BTO flat is built and my hubby promised to speak up to his parents for me if there was anything I was unhappy about.

I think support from your hubby is important, they are his parents and he should be more comfortable speaking up to them. Sometimes as a daughter-in-law, it's hard to contradict the in-laws. Sometimes use wrong tone of voice also can start WWIII...

My in-laws also dont't like to bring baby out, when newborn they say baby too small. Now baby is 6months, mother in law says sun is too hot. Since baby is being breastfed by me via direct latching on, wherever I go, baby will also go. I make sure it's easy to bring baby along by getting a good carrier (now using a Manduca carrier, when baby was small I used a Sleepy Wrap) and packing a lightweight diaper bag in a backpack so even when carrying baby I can easily carry the backpack. So there's no excuse for mother in law to tell me to leave baby at home.

mother in law also suggested yao lan when baby wasn't sleeping, I asked my pediatrician who advised against it 'cos of potential head injuries. So I told her Dr said cannot and she stop suggesting. It seems effective to use the phrase 'Dr says...' because to them of course the Dr would know better!

My gynae actually advised us in hospital just after my boy was born to keep baby cool, around 25C and not overheat baby. My hubby was there, so he told his parents about it and they have never bought clothes for baby unless specifically requested by us.

That being said, the older generation does have some good advice on certain things. My method is if the advice is good, I will use it. If the advice is based on superstition or some other nonsense then I will ignore it but to keep the peace at home I will say 'Ok, I'll consider doing that.' then just continue doing things my own way.

 

[Mrs December]

Hi there! I'm new to this forum and editing my profile at the moment. How do you manage to upload the ticker as your signature?