Is a confinement lady really necessary?

[nightingale]

Dear experienced mummies,

Am going to be a first-time mum and am planning to breastfeed my baby as far as possible. I'm wondering whether to engage the services of a confinement lady, because I'm not too comfortable with having someone else in the house, and I figured that I would have to get up for night feeds anyway.

If my mum is able to help in the day with cooking and watching the child, and hubby and mother-in-law manage the household chores, do you think we will do okay without a confinement lady? Are there confinement ladies who come only during the day, and would this arrangement be sufficient? We have no domestic helper and do not plan to engage one.

Would appreciate your thoughts on this!

 

[allycat]

If you have help with the cooking and household chores, save the money!! I think the range is $1.6 - 2k so its not cheap getting a CL these days.

 

[diymummy]

I didn't get a confinement nanny. That first month my hubby took 1 mth leave from office and the rest of my maternity leave was me alone with baby while hubby help out at night.

I think it depends on why you want to get a confinement nanny. To me, I don't really agree with confinement practises like no showering, drinking only red dates tea and all those so I decided that I won't want to get one.

I feel as long as you have some extra pairs of hands at home, you should be fine because the most impt thing abt confinement is getting enough rest and eating nutritiously to gain back nutrients as well as getting the hang of breastfeeding.

If you do intend to get a confinement nanny, there are those who are only around in the day.

I feel, with a stranger in the home, plus you're not sure if this lady is gonna be of real good help or not, I'd rather have one less problem of handling this "stranger" than engaging one and go bonkers if I have help at home.

 

[paperger85]

I think its better not to get one since you are planning to breastfeed. Most confinement ladies will keep pestering you to feed formula at least at night.

 

[nightingale]

Thanks for your comments, your views echo my sentiments exactly! I also very much doubt I'll be sticking to the confinement conventions too closely - but I think I shall enjoy all the vinegar pork leg and sesame oil chicken very much!

I was thinking that I'd rather pass that $1.6-2K to my own mother or mother-in-law instead, plus the safety of knowing that I can trust them completely with my kid (and looking after ME for that matter). Though what I'm worried about is my own condition after childbirth and whether I would be able to help out much - understand that the healing time is different also depending on whether it's natural birth or a c-section. Can you comment how bad does it get? Do you take naps in the afternoons? Exactly how demanding will baby be for those first few months?

 

[diymummy]

Hi nightingale,

I went for c-sect. It's painful but the binder helps a lot. A binder is something you strap around the womb area.

Breastfeeding can be challenging for a first timer. I hope your mother or your mil is informed abt breastfeeding otherwise, they would also be asking you to supplement with formula.

It's taxing on your body because you'll be the only person who can feed your baby. So you'd be going very much on a 2hr sleep most of the time. Since baby is usually fed every 3 hrs and feeding can take up to 1 hr with all the nappy changing and burping and trying to wake baby up becaues newborns tend to be sleepy.

 

[January84]

I did not get confinement lady for my confinement. My MIL cook and do the chores.
If you have enough help than you can save the money no need to get a CL.

I gave my MIL hang bao 2 times. 1st time is before my confinement start and 2nd time is when my confinement ended.

In your case, you have to give to your mum and MIL as a appreciation ba.

 

[January84]

Thanks for your comments, your views echo my sentiments exactly! I also very much doubt I'll be sticking to the confinement conventions too closely - but I think I shall enjoy all the vinegar pork leg and sesame oil chicken very much!

I was thinking that I'd rather pass that $1.6-2K to my own mother or mother-in-law instead, plus the safety of knowing that I can trust them completely with my kid (and looking after ME for that matter). Though what I'm worried about is my own condition after childbirth and whether I would be able to help out much - understand that the healing time is different also depending on whether it's natural birth or a c-section. Can you comment how bad does it get? Do you take naps in the afternoons? Exactly how demanding will baby be for those first few months?

nightingale,
follow your baby routine for the 1st few months, when baby slp u slp, baby drink milk u latch baby on. Only get up for meal time. Before BF drink 1 big cup of hot drink like milo or horlick, to have more milk. You have to adapt to your baby routine so u will have more rest cos u still need to BF your bb at night. cos normally BF about every 1.5 to 2 hours. Unless bb very gd sleeper.

 

[allycat]

Hi nightingale,

I went for c-sect. It's painful but the binder helps a lot. A binder is something you strap around the womb area.

Breastfeeding can be challenging for a first timer. I hope your mother or your mother in law is informed about breastfeeding otherwise, they would also be asking you to supplement with formula.

It's taxing on your body because you'll be the only person who can feed your baby. So you'd be going very much on a 2hr sleep most of the time. Since baby is usually fed every 3 hours and feeding can take up to 1 hr with all the nappy changing and burping and trying to wake baby up becaues newborns tend to be sleepy.

Agree with diymummy that BF is very taxing and stressful if you dont have supporters at home. And sometimes, the baby seem to be on your breasts for 24 hours so u have to be very determined. Do read up a lot on BF before your delivery and it is also good to attend the talks on BF.

 

[nightingale]

If you do intend to get a confinement nanny, there are those who are only around in the day.

Does anyone know of local confinement ladies who only come in the day? Do they typically charge less than those who stay overnight?

 

[diymummy]

Does anyone know of local confinement ladies who only come in the day? Do they typically charge less than those who stay overnight?

My neighbour is doing her confinement now. I check with her abt her confinement nanny then PM you details.

Those who don't stay over charge lower for sure.

 

[sher_von]

Actually, if your folks are experience enough, its not necessary.

A confinement nanny, main chores to take care of your needs, and assist you to recuperate as soon as possible to regain the nutrients you have lost.
She will advise what to eat/not to eat, what to do/not to do,and you might be amazed by the knowledge that she hav, and of cos, some are superstitious, some are myth or so, it depends on oneself whether you want to accept it, but second thoughts, no harm listening! lol

There's a few question you can ask yourself.
You might not be comfortable having a stranger acting like your mum,but end day, there's only pros to you, so far as i know, they are great help, some will even assist some small chores! End day, really need to establish the trust.
Best to just engage a day confinement services.

Confinement services is not cheap, it can goes up to 2k a month. Since expenses after having baby increase, you might need to reconsider on the financial situation

As for my opnion, having someone to take care of everything, will be an absolute yes for me, it save the hassle, less tiring for my folks, and less conflicts with my in-laws. ;p

Be a happy mum, dun worry the unnecessary!!

 

[sher_von]

oh yea, there's one recommended from a friend. copy and paste as follows

"Have been doing freelance housekeeping as well as providing confinement services/babysitting for the past 20years.
My experience includes working as a housekeeper for the Caucasian family in year 2002-2004, since then, i'm babysitting kids between 2months -3yrs old.
Do not hesitate to contact me, so that to explain more in depth what kind of assistance i can provide you. "

Cheerios!

Irene Ho 9067 1356

i hope it helps.

 

[venus_mars]

Hi

Just to share my thought, if you have help from older folks, then I think you can do away with confinement lady.

If you are intending to do exclusive BF, it actually takes up like 60% of the CL work. Then all that is left for the CL is just meals, housework, bathing the bb and changing diaper.

I have hired a confinement lady but she kept asking me to express the milk out so that she can feed (cos i think she felt lost not doing anything most of the time) and keeps pressurising me all day long to express and change to bottle feeding and kept telling I will be in trouble to switch my bb to bottle.

Her cooking is so-so and she cooks a lot and wants me to finish my food. I have all along been a small eater and despite eating 50% more of what I eat, i cant finish and ended up she throws the food away.

Do take note that first few days when back at home, you will feel baby blues very easily if there is ppl who irritates you. MY CL feeds my son jing feng shan which I am not happy with. Cos I cant stand her nagging and her sneering, my husband asked her to leave on the 7th day (by then i was having the blues and kept crying everyday).

In the end, I hire a caterer - Natal Essentials for the rest of my confinement and my mum came and help bb to bathe. I did everything else, it'stiring but i felt better taking care of the bb myself than other ppl.

And since u have help from ur mother/ mil, i think you may want to reconsider engaging a CL.

oh btw, I have a csection and i recover well without help of CL (even my CL doesnt know much abt csection and can ask me does it hurt ..!!! b****)

 

[sher_von]

Precisely, sum CL having the i-know-all attitude can be really nerve cracking.

end of the day, you need luck to find a good CL.

Most important, dun be stress!!

 

[nightingale]

This has certainly been very helpful, thanks much you guys! I'm not sure whether day confinement ladies will come cheaper though, since they're probably locals rather than those who reside in neighbouring countries. Has anyone tried a day confinement nanny? Night feeds should hopefully be manageable if there's sufficient time in the day for mummy to rest?

 

[diymummy]

This has certainly been very helpful, thanks much you guys! I'm not sure whether day confinement ladies will come cheaper though, since they're probably locals rather than those who reside in neighbouring countries. Has anyone tried a day confinement nanny? Night feeds should hopefully be manageable if there's sufficient time in the day for mummy to rest?

Yes, night feeds are managable if you rest in the day. That's my experience.

 

[allycat]

Just sleep whenever baby is sleeping and you will have the energy to battle the confinement month

 

[sher_von]

yea, day confinement services definitely cheaper plus u wil hav complete pirvacy at night!! lol
meanwhile can check hubby patience too, see whether he will be taking care of precious during wee hrs..
hehehe~

 

[camom]

Thanks for your comments, your views echo my sentiments exactly! I also very much doubt I'll be sticking to the confinement conventions too closely - but I think I shall enjoy all the vinegar pork leg and sesame oil chicken very much!

I was thinking that I'd rather pass that $1.6-2K to my own mother or mother-in-law instead, plus the safety of knowing that I can trust them completely with my kid (and looking after ME for that matter). Though what I'm worried about is my own condition after childbirth and whether I would be able to help out much - understand that the healing time is different also depending on whether it's natural birth or a c-section. Can you comment how bad does it get? Do you take naps in the afternoons? Exactly how demanding will baby be for those first few months?

I had c-sec both times & my recovery was very very quick. I was up and running fr the time they took out the drip in the hospital. Relatively painless for me both times. I nap whenever baby napped. In the 1st mth, both yourself and bb (in fact, your hubby too!) will be doing lots of adjustments. You & your hubby - bcos of the new bb, & bb - cos he/she is new to this world.

I had a CL but other than cook, she didn't do much cos I tbf my kid and had a maid then to clean up the house. My parents did the marketing for me, incl all the herbs and whotnots that I forgot to get prior to giving birth. My parents are firm believers of fresh food, so I didn't have much stored in the fridge/freezer. Everything to be cooked for the day were bought only that day.

If you intend to bf, then read up as much as you can and do your research on bf while bb's not out yet. While in hospital, get the LC's help to make sure your bb's latching on right and you'll have less issues when you are back home without much bf support. Don't be shy abt asking for help in the hospital. You might want to google for Dr Jack Newman's bf videos on the internet too.

Re day confinements, I ever enquired before with this agency and was quoted $2.4k. I got a stay-in CL for $1.5k. So better check ard before you decide.

All the best!!