Is it really important to have son then daughter ?

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yanyanyan

New Member
married 6 years +++, 3 daughter, age 5, 4 & 2, staying with inlaw. not so well with them, what I do, seems like they dont really like it, is it because I dont give them grandson. natural dont help me, what can I do, my husband is their only son too so that our son can bring his surname to the next generation, being taking or drinking alot of chinese medicine & herbs from inlaw, I dont think can help, if not, my 3rd is a boy not another girl too.

is it really important to have son then daughter ?
 
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Rye

Member
Traditional thinking is like that. Can't be forced right this type of thing. It's not like u didnt follow their herbal intake. Hope u can relax n not stress yourself over this. It's not your fault n definitely not up to you. :) hugs.
 
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Littlekk

Member
Well, they should know that the guys sperm determines the gender of the baby and nothing to do with the woman, so don't be too hard on yourself!
 
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yanyanyan

New Member
I told mother inlaw, I really follow & drink those chinese herbs, told her, my 3rd is a boy not another girl too, she say cannot be, all her friends daughter inlaw got boys after drinking, told her, everybody not the same, she say I dont follow & throw it away, nowadays I drink in front of her, once a while she will ask me, did I really follow, always told her I know what I'm doing, let natural do the way.
 
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yanyanyan

New Member
all this years both of us are trying to conceive a baby boy, we have try so many methods, have being taking or drinking alot of chinese medicine & herbs from inlaw, I dont think can help, any advice or help from you all mummy.
 
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diza

Member
What Littlekk said is true. The gender of the baby depends on ur husband's sperm. Men have X and Y chromosomes while female only has X. I've watched a documentary that timing also plays a part. If u make love during ur most fertile period, you might get a boy coz by then ur eggs are released and the male chromosomes are the fastest and quickest "swimmers" but they are also the weakest as they "die" faster than the female chromosomes. If u make love at other times, ur eggs might not be released yet so the female chromosomes will most likely survive and will fertilize the eggs. So don't blame urself for not having a boy. Ultimately, it depends on the Almighty. There's always a reason to everything.
 
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Fisherman's Friend

Member
Girl or boy still own children. But these old people are like that, preferred to have boys. Have you thought of moving out to your own place? Cause I felt with your in law kept pressurizing you, its very unhealthy, it may also caused a strain to the relationship between you and your hubby. Did your hubby say anything about this? Or, he also wants to have a son?
 
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Findaupar

New Member
Why are you staying with your in-laws? I would recommend you to move out, if you can. You and your husband and your daughters should all live together, in a place of your own. Grandparents can be nagging and they can mess in things which are not of their concern. Meanwhile, after giving birth to three daughter there's a very low chance of you giving birth to a boy. Don't let your mother-in-law make you feel miserable!
 
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yanyanyan

New Member
he dont want to move out, say nobody will take care his parent later, also he is their only son, so that our son can bring his surname to the next generation. I dont like to stay with them, sometimes problems, the way I teach my daughter, etc. I think so, the chances of me giving birth to a boy, how if another girl again, what should I do then later, is not easy when pregnant alot of things have to be careful, somemore, have to take care of him, cannot no for the 9 months N 2 months period.
 
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lynnliew

Member
aldou many old ppl likes to say its not important ger or boy so long healthy baby but deep down...many still prefer to have grandson. Even young couple gt this thinking....dun be surprise...jus that they dun say only. Old ppl tink gt grand-son gt face....gt ppl to cont the family name etc.. so i would say its impt for many old ppl...but this kinda ting is really fate. Ger or boy its your fate. Not like you can do anything about it.
 
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Fisherman's Friend

Member
Ya lor, I agree with lynnliew. Having able to have kids is already a big blessing! But since you are not able to move out and have to continue staying with them, you probably need to find other ways to relief that unseen stress they are putting on you. Maybe you can try to arrange every Sat or Sunday a family day? Just you, your hubby and your kids. At least don't have to face your in laws. At least that's what I did. :)
 
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yanyanyan

New Member
I agree too, is all fate but sometimes I cant stand it when inlaws say somethings back of me with her friends / neighbours around. I already do what I can do and even follow her instruction (sometimes she even dare to ask me have I follow what she told me to do last night, this is TOO MUCH, I always told her this our privacy matter, please dont instruct us what to do, then she will blah blah blah ............. ).
yes, once a while we do have family day together (me, my daughters and him) without her.
 
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loveymommy

New Member
Hello, I love my daughter to bits and think daughters are better than boys. But there is this gender calender that is quite accurate, have a look st this website: "http://community.babycenter.com/post/a34614604/chinese_gender_calendar"
Quite accurate, myself, my friends n their relatives all got it right. Basically u use ur chinese age, which is 1 year older than ur english age, and look at the months of that year, if you want a boy, try to conceive in the month that says "B".
Good luck!!!!!
 
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yanyanyan

New Member
Yes, daughters are better than boys but what to do, inlaw thinking different, already try so many method, hope this work, sometimes hubby stress up, say not again another new method.
 
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