maid's 1st off-day

[ping26]

Hi mummies,

My maid requested for off-day. She gave a story abt being moody as her husband may be cheating on her. The thing is I don't trust her completely due to some of her behaviours which involve lying and petty theft (food, children's hair accessories). She's subtly manipulative; otherwise her work is alright. She has worked for 1.5 years with us. She is not supposed to have off-day for her contract.

We originally planned to give our helper a day off but our 1st maid abused our trust.
So we scrapped the off-day plan for the next maid. I guess I'm worried that this maid will abuse the freedom & I just can't trust her completely.

What are some of the terms I should set?
What about house keys? Should she be given or do we have to jagar the house?

thnks for your help.

 

[MsKoh1973]

if u dun feel comfortable, don't give her. And since she already with u for 1.5 yrs, is abt time u start to look for another maid. My last maid also told me she not marry, but those sms she sent to her "FATHER" i told my colleague to translate, is all about love love love. Maid cannot be trusted fully, like all other employees. There are things that we must give and take. But if u do find her behaviour unbearable, why not let her go before something happen.

She told you she need a off day becos her husband cheating on her. Frankly speaking, if husband really cheating on her, one off day where got enough, if is real, she would be asking to go back to hometown to check on him liao.

 

[ping26]

Just an update,

Jan - 1st off-day - she was 15 min late. She texted me to tell me she will be slightly late.

Feb - she returned 30-40 min late. She claimed she took the wrong train. I rebutted her as the time does not tally. I helped her to plan travelling time.

March - she returned abt 30-40 min late. I forgot her excuse again.

She requested for 2 off-days from april-june as she said she didn't want to go back home. Her home leave is due in June. We agree to let her take advance leave. Technically, she shld only take it in July.

Apr - 1st offday - she returned 45 min late. I gave her a warning abt cancelling her offday if she persists to be late. Fr Feb - April, maid did not text abt being late.

This morning, she agreed to return at 6pm. She asked for $300 to buy present for her daughter. Her relative will bring it back for her.

Today, she returned at 640pm. At 5.52pm, she texted me to say she'll be back at 7pm. She was still in cityhall mrt when she was supposed to be back in Yishun in 8 min time.

We decide it's time to get a new helper as it looks like she is unable to handle responsibility and trust. Increasingly, she is unable to take care of our girl properly.
She is becoming more picky & not obeying instructions in many ways.

 

[ping26]

She told you she need a off day becos her husband cheating on her. Frankly speaking, if husband really cheating on her, one off day where got enough, if is real, she would be asking to go back to hometown to check on him liao.

hi,

I won't be surprised if she's also cheating on him. She seemed to be planning the off-day for some time. I never trust fully after the 1st maid's nonsense.

Basically, we think that having one or two off-day per mth is fine. But their work should not be affected. Yes, I think we're asking for trouble. Probably will try our luck for last time w 3rd maid. After that, no more maids for us cos our girl will be old enough.

We can't go very expensive restaurants w maid in tow. My maid is very picky abt food now. A friend bought us dinner & she left 80% of the food untouched. I was so embarrassed.

 

[MsKoh1973]

My colleage oso gv her maid (I think is Mymar) off day, when she became pregy, my colleague asked her what happened, she claimed that she was rape on one of her off day. But my colleage recalled that day maid was v happy, she even bought durian back for the whole family. They confronted her and threaten to report to police about the rape case.

The maid then said actually her husband came to work in Sg and they had been meeting on her off days, tat's why she was pregy. My colleague go chx with the Agency, turned out that, the maid's husband was handicapped, he couldn't even leave the house alone wif out help, how could he came to Sg to work. She was definitely lying, so my colleague sent back to her home.

I oso used to get one maid v picky abt food, she even rejected prawns (bigger than finger), cos it was not cooked to her liking. And she dun reject it outfront when we gv her, she just ate and throw away the rest of the untouched food that she dun want to eat.

When she resigned and went back (she wk abt 6 yrs w us), we bought some things for her, she couldn't put all into her bags, so instead of returning back to us, she throw them directly into the rubbish chute. When we found it funny she kept taking things from her room and going to the kitchen since she suppose to be packing things into her bag instead, we then realised that she doing it. When we asked her, she said anyway we already give to her, so the things belong to her, and she can do anything she want w it. U see lah, these people.

For the 6 yrs she worked with us, we gave her gold chain, pendant, bracelets, rings on her birthday, on her christmas. When she went back for home leave, she want to used those things we bought for her to exchange for cash with us.

u see lah, these people. kns.

 

[ping26]

My maid is also like that. She kept throwing away prawns & stuff until I found out mths later. faint. She likes salmon and fish, not sutchi. My MIL was so silly to let her choose her own food cos she refused to eat whatever that was bought. She only picked fish & veg.

Today, I went out to pick up my baby's birthday cake. I had been giving her silent treatment since yesterday. She's a bit scared. I gave her a choice - lunch now or later. and "can finish or not?" Cos I wanted to eat at fancy restaurant - the handburger at 313 somerset, she forced herself to eat lunch early. Unlucky for her, they used sutchi for fish burger. My chicken teriyaki was absolutely yummy. (I think I also suay. Both my indo maids are very picky abt food. They love fish & seafood. So they keep throwing food cos I don't check kitchen regularly. )

She knows I can be quite thrifty & hate to waste. I recycle a lot of stuff in house. Sometimes, she's behaving like I owe her something.

I also wonder if the $300 is really a gift or for abortion. I can't do anything until I get a new maid. haiz.

The govt doesn't listen to us at all. The contracts are unfair to both FDW & employers. My sis 4/4 bad maids (2 mentally unsound). Mine 2/2 but at least mine are just picky and scheming. My maids like working for me. Good food & loose supervision. 1st one knew she can get off-days after 6 mth. 2nd one was daring enough to ask for off-day early.

But I shouldn't complain. I was blessed to be able to sign up for interest-free credit card instalment then.

 

[MsKoh1973]

my latest maid just resigned after I become a SAHM, think she cannot tahan I stay at home, actually most of the time I inside my room do my own things, I oso dun bother her, dun noe why she so scare. After she left last week, we tidy the house, wow biang, she kept so much rubbish, so much dirt underneath bed, there are alot of moody food in the fridge, xia si ren leh.

 

[fionong]

For the 6 yrs she worked with us, we gave her gold chain, pendant, bracelets, rings on her birthday, on her christmas. When she went back for home leave, she want to used those things we bought for her to exchange for cash with us.

you see , these people. kns.

:bhuh:like that also can.

 

[fionong]

After she left last week, we tidy the house, wow biang, she kept so much rubbish, so much dirt underneath bed, there are alot of moody food in the fridge, xia si ren leh.

I find that 10 out of 10 maids are "Chey Meh". Since they do the cooking thus they are suppose to open the fridge everyday yet cannot see those mouldy food.

 

[MsKoh1973]

agreed, and oso noted my maid left few sticks of half consumed 3-in-1 kopi, waste money. Tats why I never have high expectation for them, so long as they can sweep and mop the floor, can dun abuse kids, can use washing machine and hang out clothes can liao, yet, they never stay long w us, dun noe why, maybe we treat them too nice, they guilty, thats why resigned.

 

[fionong]

agreed, and also noted my maid left few sticks of half consumed 3-in-1 kopi, waste money. Tats why I never have high expectation for them, so long as they can sweep and mop the floor, can dont abuse kids, can use washing machine and hang out clothes can , yet, they never stay long w us, dont know why, maybe we treat them too nice, they guilty, thats why resigned.

Personally I feel that all the maids won't appreciate our kindness instead they take us for granted. Most of the time they are not guilty of their wrongdoing.

 

[awish]

Maybe different upbringing and culture difference. It hard to change their mentality, so just close one eye whenever possible.

 

[ping26]

When a maid does not know her place in house, it's time to fire her.

If I close one eye, I'll get a black eye. Somehow, maids only get bolder and more insolent. Now when I go shopping & if my hubbyis not ard, she shops too. I have to wait for her to finish trying the clothes in Marina Square. For a pair of white plain slippers that are used to walk to the market, I had to go 7-8 shops with her. She also got my in-laws to do her shopping w her when she now has 2 off-days.

It's evident that her friends must have told her it was alright to return late & she was confident I would put up with her nonsense.

She now raises her voice at my niece (but my niece is quite rude at times). She spins lies abt my girls' fall to blame it on my niece. She arranges her work and stories for her convenience and purpose.

Yes, it all began after the off-day started. Her life purpose seems to have shifted to looking good & having a good time. She is not a young kid, 34 years old with a young daughter. She planned on keeping her hair long & losing weight since last August/September. It seemed a bit planned then. Now it's pretty obvious.

I will get 2 black eyes soon if I tolerate her nonsense.

 

[MsKoh1973]

send her back, let her go ........... no point, now that my house no maid, oso like tat, but at least we dun need to lock our drawers every day.

when I recently cleaned the hse, then realise that, she just clean the surface, there are so many rubbish put inside the kitchen cabinet, after she left, I throw away like 10 big plastic bags of rubbish, and still haven't finish packing.

 

[ping26]

I didn't go maid hunting immediately after my post in April cos my sis' new maid only came recently.

To cut a long story short, my maid insisted on taking a third off-day in May. This despite my baby and I being ill. My girl had coughed until she threw up 3x on Saturday. I was also unwell. We, incl the maid, had just returned from a cruise a week ago.

I also realised in May that my maid stopped all handwashing. She now dumps her clothes in our laundry. Last Saturday, I also found that she washed 3 pc of bathroom mats in our 7kg washing machine. She also stopped cleaning one of our toilets which she was supposed to do once per week. There's more. shan't say anymore. She's great actress.

I decided not to renew her work permit which expires this Sunday. My initial plan was to look a little later cos her passport expires in April 2012.

I've contacted an agent recommended by Yvonne ktw & selected a maid who's supposed to arrive this week. But the lady didn't give firm details & she's away in Indonesia. She's supposed to apply for work permit-in-principal last Fri but I checked MOM website just now. Nothing...


I'm so scared... help. Anyone??

and what if the lady can't pass the darn English test?

backup plan - Pls PM me all your "good" maid agent contacts. thks.

 

[pipilili]

ping26,
Your maid is too much. Yep, you should send her back.

Regarding those maids in Batam. I heard those are the ones who are taking revision to pass their eng test. I am not sure how true cos I ask my mum's Indon maid, and that's what she told me. (And I remember reading it in the news oso - the recent article about a maid committed suicide after she failed her eng entry test)

Anyway I am preparing what I want to tell my maid in Eng as well as Indonesian language. Although I can speak Malay, I realised Indon dun speak Malay so their Indon language is diff from our local Malay. I used the translator to help me translate what I want to tell her in a s/s. I will still tell her face to face using my best Malay and English and asked if she understand. If she give me the blur look, I will show her the Indon language which I have checked. Hahaha...

 

[ping26]

Does any mummy know how long does it take to get in-principal approval?

I spoke to the agent last Friday. She said she would apply last Friday. But I can't see any application on WPonline.

I'm going to interview some transfer maids tmw.

 

[sufeit0115]

Does any mummy know how long does it take to get in-principal approval?

I spoke to the agent last Friday. She said she would apply last Friday. But I can't see any application on WPonline.

I'm going to interview some transfer maids tmw.

It take one working day for MOM to approve. I read from the MOM website if agent apply for you, we won't be able to view the application on WPonline. Employer will be able to view the IPA only if they apply themselves online.

Good luck!

 

[ping26]

hi

thks for your answer.

There was a delay in MOM approval for unknown reasons. So the earliest date the maid can arrive is next Wednesday.

My maid is expecting to take off again this Sunday. haiz....

This agent is fairly responsible. But on hindsight, I should have just hunted for a transfer Filipino maid who can complete a 2-yr contract.

 

[MOF4]

To All Mummies out there,

I too have experience frustrations when maid come home late on their off days. No amount of warning or scolding can make them come home on time.

So I decided to get even. With my new policy now I no longer feel frustrated whenever they r late.

I normally give them 15 min grace. If they r still not back after the grace period they r consider as late n they will pay back the time on the next off day.

In short, late 30 min then next off day they will leave late by 30min. Late 1 hour then next off day late go out by 1 hr.

Hope the above r useful to all.

Regs
MOF4