Mil really Mil....

[Wonderwhy]

Why do i say so? Every year CNY eve we sure go over for dinner & fr the day i hv 2kids, I feel so much like a maid.. My Mil always mk use of me but not her dd (she hv kid also) She always ask me go malen 1st than can helps look after those kids whereby all of them can eat together... Sometime i feel so angry and sad as renious dinner shld be all together de ma.. how cm i hv to eat alone and look after the kid, inorder they can eat peacefully but why dun she ask her dd to eat 1st & look after those kids...

All these while, i been trying to build up r.ship with her & my Sil.. (as Fil we are ok & Bil we din tok) so i feel Mil & Sil is female & family mem... so it gd hv gd r.ship & can tok in alots of topic... but they always like tat.. hurt ppl.... .haiz...

 

[prima]

actually the female side of the inlaws are pretty hard to handle.

I just came fm mine and worst I had to spend the hols with them.
My SIL just took over the kids and I can't even touch them. She'll show her black face thruout. no matter how sweet I talk to her, she's always not happy. Its like a competition of two mothers in the house. Dh says to take it as a challenge. how to, when she pushes me away with her loud n commanding voice!!!

its been so many years now. I don't know how long I can take it. I am so relieved to b back home. phew....

 

[deborahlkl]

prima, i understand how u feel.. cos my sil also same as yrs... my sil even kiss my baby on her mouth in front of me... i almost gone mad, but i just turn away, kept quiet and wiped her mouth.. it's not that we scare of her, it's just that we want to have a gd relationship with her, but she thinks that we scare of her and she bully us somemore..

wonderwhy, i'd suggest u to get yr hubby voice out for u... whether is reunion dinner or not, u have the right and u should eat together.. no one can take u as the maid, except yrself. tell yr hubby to stop yr mil, when yr mil asks u to eat first, yr hubby should say "it's ok, let's eat together, we will handle the kids together if they make noise later" yr mil should have nothing to say... they are yr hubby's family, everything should be voice out by yr hubby..

 

[wendy79]

Haizz.. seems like many of us have problem with in laws. My FIL is a nice person, my SIL and BILs are nice too, they are nice to me and my kids. But my MIL is the one i cannot tahan, talk a lot but no action done, sometimes i try to find excuses to avoid going to their house.

 

[Blurblur MTB]

Sigh .. my SIL always wans to carry my gal.. even when she's sleeping though I've told her she will wake up ard 6 plus..

On the day I discharged from hospi, I find that I have no say to wat I wan to do with my gal, was very pissed

 

[elmo493]

Yes agreed that DH should be the one to voice out on our behalf. It is his family whom he grew up with after all so there are more bonding between them. Guys they just don't see our point.

Some MIL do practise favouritism.

prima, i understand how u feel.. cos my sil also same as yrs... my sil even kiss my baby on her mouth in front of me... i almost gone mad, but i just turn away, kept quiet and wiped her mouth.. it's not that we scare of her, it's just that we want to have a gd relationship with her, but she thinks that we scare of her and she bully us somemore..

wonderwhy, i'd suggest u to get yr hubby voice out for u... whether is reunion dinner or not, u have the right and u should eat together.. no one can take u as the maid, except yrself. tell yr hubby to stop yr mil, when yr mil asks u to eat first, yr hubby should say "it's ok, let's eat together, we will handle the kids together if they make noise later" yr mil should have nothing to say... they are yr hubby's family, everything should be voice out by yr hubby..

 

[wendy79]

the problem with most siblings in law lor, baby sleeping they go touch them, carry them then wake them up.. who suffers in the end ? we all lor and our hubby lor

 

[chuaeil]

the problem with most siblings in law lor, baby sleeping they go touch them, carry them then wake them up.. who suffers in the end ? we all lor and our hubby lor

Hai... look like most of us have problem with ILs.... Why this kind of thing will happened? Sometime i think also scare cos next time we will also be ppl ILS too, what if the same thing happen to us.

 

[Blurblur MTB]

Hai... look like most of us have problem with ILs.... Why this kind of thing will happened? Sometime i think also scare cos next time we will also be ppl ILS too, what if the same thing happen to us.

So we have to learn from here not to be this kind of in-law.. :tlaugh:

 

[Blurblur MTB]

the problem with most siblings in law lor, baby sleeping they go touch them, carry them then wake them up.. who suffers in the end ? we all lor and our hubby lor

ya, and the prob is when they carry, they like to swing, pat and rock the baby.. if it become a habit, who is going to rock the baby after our maternity leave.. and the funniest thing my SIL said to my bb gal.. not sleeping cannot lie down, must carry.. who is so free to carry her when she is not sleeping.. sigh to think that she is already a mother of 2..:nah:

 

[wendy79]

ya, and the prob is when they carry, they like to swing, pat and rock the baby.. if it become a habit, who is going to rock the baby after our maternity leave.. and the funniest thing my SIL said to my bb gal.. not sleeping cannot lie down, must carry.. who is so free to carry her when she is not sleeping.. sigh to think that she is already a mother of 2..:nah:

she no need to work one is it? my husband's siblings also like to pat and rock them while carrying.. but we also cannot say anything. luckily my husband know i dun like it, so he will voice out, but my MIL will say my husband is fussy. so a lot of times i dun feel like going to her place

 

[Blurblur MTB]

She's working just that her kids are already teenagers, youngest 12 tis year.. sometimes I just tell myself dun see not so angry.. so when she carry my gal, I'll stay in the room..

My MIL also, when SIL carry my bb, she didn't say anything, but when HB carry my bb, she'll ask bb didn't cry carry for what.. For god sake, when a father return home from work, is it wrong to carry his own daughter?? Really pissed..

 

[michellechin]

Well, I'm the straightforward kind of person. I voiced out if I don't like how my mil take care of my daughter coz that's MY daughter, not hers. I can be quite blunt at times but I only do so when my gal's interest is at stake. As time goes by, I become more lenient and relax coz my gal is growing up aldy but my main priority is still praticing good hygiene and no smoking in front of my daughter. That's what my in-laws all lack of! If I find out they don't follow my rules, it's either i remind them (bluntly) or I don't let my daughter go there during weekends and i'll pick her up immediately after i come back from work on weekdays. This somehow send them a signal that i'm very unhappy!

 

[deborahlkl]

Sigh .. my SIL always wans to carry my gal.. even when she's sleeping though I've told her she will wake up ard 6 plus..

On the day I discharged from hospi, I find that I have no say to wat I wan to do with my gal, was very pissed

Blurblur MTB... u have to put a stop before the situatuion get worse. it's either u or yr hubby voice out.. it'd be better yr hubby to voice out..

they will take yr baby as theirs if u allow this situation to go on. ACTION WHICH IS NOT CONFRONTED IS AN ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!

even if u know they will blow up the matter for sure, u still have to put a stop if u r really not confortable with it. and they will learn slowly.. they will realise that u'd like to have full control over yr baby...

yr hubby plays an important role... he has to voice out for u and give u a say in HIS family...

 

[prima]

prob with in laws is that u hv to approach it delicately. u must be ready for the consequences. deps on whether dh supports u or his family. but then blood runs thicker.

Mine, It is a losing battle n an uphill task coz we have to stay a few days or leave the kids with them every month. They don't give up nor compromise either. n believe the kids are family. even if dh supports, he has to cater to both sides peacefully. believe me I have my own silent arguments with the SILs. my dds is now 10 n 7. it has been very stressful n tiring. it's lose win situation. family is still family no use having bad ties this I learnt.

I now drink lots of ginger tea which keeps me sane n not depressed.

 

[Blurblur MTB]

Blurblur MTB... u have to put a stop before the situatuion get worse. it's either u or yr hubby voice out.. it'd be better yr hubby to voice out..

they will take yr baby as theirs if u allow this situation to go on. ACTION WHICH IS NOT CONFRONTED IS AN ENCOURAGEMENT!!!!

even if u know they will blow up the matter for sure, u still have to put a stop if u r really not confortable with it. and they will learn slowly.. they will realise that u'd like to have full control over yr baby...

yr hubby plays an important role... he has to voice out for u and give u a say in HIS family...

It is useless lor.. MIL is bias against my HB.. so watever he said she will think he dun respect her.. she is super sensitive, demanding and unreasonable.. Like the recent bb 1st month event, my HB has reached the top that he also refused to talk to my MIL, so now I'm the messager..

1 funny thing abt my MIL, she always complains my HB holding a black face, but she never think of who gave him this face in the 1st place.. if he is born like that how to change??:err: