miscarriage and me

[bananamama]

Hi all,
I'm going through a loss at the moment and am scheduled for a d & c tomorrow. Dr said using suction method, was too upset to ask further. Anyone who can shed some light or advice please? Also how did you ladies go back to work after a mc? Facing colleagues (pregnant or otherwise).. how did you move on? Up till now I m asking God why let me conceive and take it from me? Why didn't He prevent the mc and so on. Just hoping to get some support esp from those who went on the painful journey. Thanks in advance for any sharing. If I offend anyone please do forgive me. I am at a loss of what to do. Not intentionally digging up sad memories. If mummies want to pm me pls do so as I know that such personal matters may not be comfortable sharing openly. .

 

[minniejlh]

Hi Bananamama,

Really sorry to hear your lost. I did not experience the pain you are going through but would love to give a some words to you.
It seems that you believe in God too, please continue to trust in Him. For He is the One that can really comfort you now, apart of people who care about you around. Indeed in times of pain, we always ask Why Why and Why?! God gave you a baby, joy and hope, why took it away? Do stay calm and stop asking why. Perhaps you will know why after you stop asking why.
Do not be afraid of going back to work or thinking how you are going to face people. Trust yourself to be the strongest woman because after awhile, pat yourself and say "I can't believe I have successfully walked out from this pain and I feel stronger than anyone else!" Everything happened for a reason. Although it's hard to be, but try to think another way round. I believe people around, your family, your husband are showing more care and love to you. dont't live in the past and miss something you have lost, appreciate people around you. Another baby will be blessed to you again someday.
Of course, continue to pray for the baby. Chill and relax, take a few days break and do not think too much. Cry out the sad tears if that will make you feel better.

All the best and God bless.

 

[Qookie]

I'm very sorry for your lost. I know it's hard to praise God and give thanks to Him when you're facing something like that. It's a wonder how Job (someone who lost everything, even all his children) in the Bible can say, 'The Lord gives and takes away, may His name be praised.'

I think if your colleagues/friends know about this, you might be surprised that they would come up to you and tell you their similar experience as well. A lot of women experience miscarriages too.

My heart goes out to you and will be praying for you. God bless.

 

[nataliengbh]

Hi all,
I'm going through a loss at the moment and am scheduled for a d & c tomorrow. Dr said using suction method, was too upset to ask further. Anyone who can shed some light or advice please? Also how did you ladies go back to work after a mc? Facing colleagues (pregnant or otherwise).. how did you move on? Up till now I m asking God why let me conceive and take it from me? Why didn't He prevent the mc and so on. Just hoping to get some support esp from those who went on the painful journey. Thanks in advance for any sharing. If I offend anyone please do forgive me. I am at a loss of what to do. Not intentionally digging up sad memories. If mummies want to pm me pls do so as I know that such personal matters may not be comfortable sharing openly. .

I have two miscarriages last year and went through d n c both times....I know it is hard and it is natural to feel sad. Take some time to grieve and pick yourself up after that...get support from your hb and family members and try again when you are ready. Hugz

 

[lejie]

Hi Bananamama,

I mc during wk 14,woke up 1 morning with bad cramps and then started bleeding and my anomic fluid leaked. Dr told me unless a miracle happen, I would have to undergo an abortion. Struggled for 4days in the hospital before I signed the papers. According to my DR, my bb is still having a strong heartbeat.Words cannot describe my feelings when I signed on the dotted line, holding the last scan photo. Doc gave me some pills to take and send me home, telling me to report back when the effect of the pills kick in(hospital dun allow abortion while bb is still alive). The effect came after 2 hrs, and bb dropped into my hse toilet bowl. I went hysterical at the moment. Went for a clean up and took 3wks off work. For a period of time, I couldnt bear to see pregnant women, babies on the street etc.. You asked that how to move on, well, there is no correct way. For me, I keep telling myself tat I need get well soon to prepare for the next blessing. You can mourn for a while, but rememeber to pick yourself up along the way. No 1 can ever help you to walk out if you are not willing to walk out.

While I was in the hospital, a sister who came to console me told me that there is a theory"Only the fittest survived", when god decided to take away my bb, perhaps he doesnt want the bb to come here to suffer,he or she will be in a better place. Upon hearing this, I calmed myself down and start praying for my bb to be in a better place if god had decided that he or she is not fit enough to be brought to the world.

Do a mini confinement after you discharge, take some time to mourn and move on. Concentrate in getting your body well enough to prepare for the next blessing. Dr told me that its easier to conceive within 6mths of the mc although it didnt work for me (I am still waiting after 9mths).

Good luck and be strong! Hope that it will makes you feel better...

 

[dasiew]

Hi Ladies & bananamama,

I have just had my 2nd miscarriage not long ago. Just like all of you, i still feel very sad and dissapointed. More so when all my friends are pregnant about the same time with me and theirs has been smooth. Im happy for them, but i just cant hold tears everytime i see their stomache..i think my grieving has not end...and i feel terribble to feel that way.

 

[msberry]

after my 1st miscarriage i feel is quite sad to know the baby din survive and nothing we can do about it .. sigh ..

i heard alot of ppl say after D&C , is easy to have a baby again .. is it true?

 

[JessicaErin]

Dear mummies,
My heart goes out to you all. I understand that feeling of lost because 3 years ago my sister also miscarriage twice. The entire family was really sad. But lifes goes on. We believe if God going to take them away, meaning there must be a reason. Important is to be grateful for those of your love one who are still around. I believe they also share your pain. In life I believe when we are always grateful for everything, in return we will get more. The biggest obstacle for you to hold yourself up again is you yourself. I do believe you want your baby to rest in peace as I don't think he or she will be at peace when mummy is in pain. God has bring them to a better place. Take good care of yourself and get healthy soon. Love you all.Hugz

 

[fiiefiie]

dear mummies i teared as i read at all the comments..
definitely could feel the hurt..
talking it out will help to move on..