Mother in law

[Fisherman's Friend]

Sigh, guess this mil saga will always exist. Mine is no better. My mil is a super actress, she is so good that i think oscar should give her an award!!

She disliked my 2nd girl and always say things like she is naughty la, shoo her away like she is a dog la, got once i even saw her using her butt to push my girl off! I was fuming, so angry that i really got the urge to get the knife nearby and slashed her butt! But i didnt la, just kept quiet and bring my girl away. But in front of my hubby, she will act all nice, like she is the best grandmother in the world. Offering my girl food, playing n smiling (im shuddering) at her. Yucks!

She even got the cheek to call my mum and told her that we shouldnt have hire a maid, coz she is not working, so can help us to look after my kids. And blame me, victimised herself, saying she is so bored, the kids arent closed to her blah blah. My mum just shut her up by saying, if u really can manage then my daughter wun have to hire a maid lo! U think maid very cheap ar? LOL

Now i just hope to faster get my own place and move out from that hell. I dun tok to her nor greet her, coz i felt she dun deserved it. Always backstabbing me, bad-mouthing me. Seriously, i cun be bothered, i just treat her as invisible. Hope those like me who are 'trapped' living with these evil mils will see the light in the tunnel soon!!!

 

[CherryFrozz]

Ask u gals a "what if" future future scenario...what if you have a mil who drives you crazy (which many of us have here), but your hub is a only child & extremely fillial to her. And he insist that after your fil pass away (in future), you will need to live together with her.

But u know that will drive you Crazy beyond words to be under the same roof with Xxxx... what will you do?

 

[precious mummy]

Ya so young !!

 

[precious mummy]

Yesyes ! My husband is the only child sia . then I said I dontcare if in the future we can afford to move out I must move out . Then sometimes he will said his their only child . But i said, if I continue to see her till so many years not she crazy is I'm gonna be crazy . J said by that time you better don't regret .
I never greet her at all . I dot think there's a need .
really don't need . don't think she treated me as a xi fu an my son as a grandson at all can see what did when baby full month . Whats the point of calling her and respect her ?
act infront of husband my family member and me . I don't need such a Actress mil .

 

[ftlad]

Ask u gals a "what if" future future scenario...what if you have a mil who drives you crazy (which many of us have here), but your hub is a only child & extremely fillial to her. And he insist that after your fil pass away (in future), you will need to live together with her.

But u know that will drive you Crazy beyond words to be under the same roof with Xxxx... what will you do?

Maybe can talk to hub nicely say if stay together everyday conflicts can he handle it? Can suggest stay same block or same area.

 

[KiBin]

Ask u gals a "what if" future future scenario...what if you have a mil who drives you crazy (which many of us have here), but your hub is a only child & extremely fillial to her. And he insist that after your fil pass away (in future), you will need to live together with her.

But u know that will drive you Crazy beyond words to be under the same roof with Xxxx... what will you do?

your hubby will regret it if he made that decision..

 

[Sxien82]

Hi all... When i read your story i feel a bit envious. Its not being sarcastic, its true and let me explain why. Iam still on my trimester so havent experience the hell of all hell about mother in law yet, but up untill now i keeps preventing my husband from telling out the news of my pregnancy to that scary woman and also the whole evil family member from my husband. Why i feel envious? I lived in Singapore for about 5-6years, my brother-in-law are singaporeans, and to my biggest regret i reject quite a few of spore man and choose an Indonesian man just because of stupid love. While you can at least have freedom to ignore and no need greet your MIL i have to force a big wide smile everytime her face show up. Some of you only need to see her face 1day a week, for my case she decide whenever she come and how many days-how many weeks she wanna stay in my HOME. Because of my biggest dumb choice, my PR has expired it feels like thats its.. My life is doomed. My MIL the mother is a great pretender and a happiness killer, so is the father in law he got mental problem which behave abnormal many many times a year. IF i tell my husband to help about things i dont like, example MIL likes to put lots of her shoes in our home, but she doesnt use it at all!! Or she brings lots of craps, spoons, plates from century ago, she even bought the cleaning sponge, and telling me where to put the cups, living room decoration to buying wardrobe for 2rooms that is nobody living in(after then i know whats her purpose). Guess what will happen? She cries out loud, she scream and swears about me being RUDE (i wasnt telling her face to face, its my husband who raise voice) but she immediately behaving like some ghost has entered her soul. She would cry very very sad and complaint to her husband that her son over-doted on that woman(me) "they're already riding on our head!! They've not even feed us yet! How dare of them" then drive the car to dunno where, turn her phone off. Making new movie serial, later other sons would blame me and father in law come to my face and kick the furniture while cursing at me. This even happen on the 1week before wedding ceremony, crazy father in law even said "you're so RUDE(using vulgar words) no need invite your parents come for wedding lar!" i was so angry because its only a very small matters, yet they have the face to bring up parents. I ran away to hotel(i have nobody in this town) and was really ready to cancel the whole wedding shit. But was idiotically being talk over by my husband then. My mommy is also a mother in-law, but to her one and only one daugther-in-law she never being a bitch, when my bro invite her to live with them, my mom said she wont understand her daugther-in-law because definitely she's not raised by her so why not just invite the mom of the daugther in law to live with them instead. Then during her pregnancy(my sis in law) my mom cook herbal soup for her, she doesnt like it and was pinching her nose trying to swallow, my mom immediately understand and never force her to eat anything else. Its a great hell of me here living under the cluntches of my husband-side family member. I have many many nightmares everytime i think about how worst, how hell of all hell when she knows about my pregnancy, especially after baby is born.. Dear God iam really terrified.

 

[FirstMummy]

Sxien82.. I feel for you...it's really sad to hear this.. your in laws are so scary.. Behaving like a monster.. all of us faced in laws problems here.. You can vent your anger here...I pray everything will be fine for all of us including you..

I just seen a doc on Monday.. N found out my pressure is going up to 145.. My last blood pressure took was 116 when I'm in my 36 weeks.. Doc says that I'm under a lot of stress... It will not be good if my blood pressure Keeps going up... And also found out that my husband blood pressure also going up to 142.. worst I'm allergy to over 90% of med.. N doc only give me med for my terrible headache ..n i tried n I had allergy to it as well.. Don't stress yourself too much.. Especially now your pregnant .. Thru it easy to say...but try to relax yourself.. Ok..?

 

[CherryFrozz]

Tried telling my hubby but he doesn't listen. I know his mum is no.1 in his heart. Anyway preggy now also n keeping it a secret fr them! Less trouble. How can some old folks b so sensitive to their own feelings but b so insensitive to others ? If they can put themselves in other ppl shoes then there will b lot less grievences here.

if hub is better at handling his mum I wun mind so much. But he cannot lor...always shunning the issue...and like a completely diff person in front of her. So docile like a kitten!

 

[FirstMummy]

You mean your hubby don't know your pregnant..? I think you have to really find a good time try to talk to your hubby.. Let him know the stress your facing too.. You are not asking him to ignore your mil n just wanna him to understand your feelings...cos you can't hide for long.. As times goes by... He will know your pregnant.. So it's better to have a good talk with him.. I believed he will understand de....

 

[CherryFrozz]

No he knows but parents dunno...

 

[paulinepoh80]

I am here to vent my anger. I really can't stand my mil. I just return to work last week. Yesterday she told me that she never sterilize milk bottle. She only rinse it with hot water. Damn!!! Not even soak it in hot water. I told her must sterilize as baby might diarrhea. She reply she has been doing that past few days nothing happen. This happen when she is taking care my eldest don. That time I explained nicely to her the consequences if not sterile milk bottle. Really don understand why is she so stubborn. My husband can't tell her off or else she will know I complain.
Also, she always carry baby in her hand while she is watching tv until baby fall asleep. Now baby got used to it, at night if he cry we hv to carry him until he fall into deep sleep then can put him on bed. Besides that, she also likes to throw baby into yaolan and keep swing it though baby sleep ald or not crying at all. Why is she do stupid, want to cultivate the bad habit for my baby making him so diff to take care. Now whenever I go my sis hse stay over the weekend, baby would cry non stop because he wan yaolan. In fact my baby can sleep on the bed while I am in maternity. And my baby will wake up if the yaolan stop. So it defit the purpose if yaolan why put him inside all the time??? To clarify the yaolan is there because nobody helped me during maternity n I hv to put him inside while pump milk. She also requested she wan it when I return work.
Really can't stand her.

 

[Alisa]

hi Paulinepoh80, i can understand your frastration, they will wan to do things their way. Anyway, i only sterilize my son's bottle or things less than 5 times and my son is 1 yr old tmw. cuz i don wan my son to be too clean that a bit a bacterial or germs also cannot. i am not saying sterilize is not good but this will depends on individual.

how old is yr mil? my son now always find my mil cuz she always carry him, even my fil wan to carry him, my son also reject. Worst is when we are feeding my son dinner! Once he sees my mil or even by hearing her voice only, he will go crazy! Will not stop crying till my mil carry him. Begining my husband still feel its nothing wrong (cuz i am the 1 feeding my son, while he take his dinner) then ytd husband tried to feed my son and this happened again, he then feel what i am feeling, pek chek! Really, nothing we can do. BTW, my son is in infant care and yet he is closer to MIL. I am the last person that my son will find, he will 1st go to my mil, then fil then husband then me! I am so hurt! But i think throught, just endure for another 1 for my hse to be ready, in the time being, close both eyes! I kept brain wash myself that i should be glad that my in-laws are willing to help out when husband and me are busy.

Yr mil should be too sayang yr baby liao still she kept wanting to carry yr baby. As for yao lan, can only correct yr baby when he/she gets bigger le. or how about putting yr baby in infant care?

 

[paulinepoh80]

hi alisa, initially my mil don wan to take care and ask us to put baby in infantcare. but I scared he will fall sick easily. my mil used to take care my eldest son while I stay at my own hse. I just move in with them one yr ago, waiting my new hse also to be ready 2 yr later. my eldest son like me most. I think I will also be very upset if my baby like her more since now staying together. can't wait to move out.

 

[Alisa]

hmm... since she also take care of yr 1st child then this wan she should be very familar on what to do already. no choice la, staying with them we cannot say much if not our husband will be in difficult position.. he always told me its so difficult to be in between his mom & me... take it easy, as long yr baby is well taken care can le. my son till now also need to carry to sleep.

 

[felicity]

*hugs Alisa* i would be super hurt too if bb prefer mil to me. actually sil's son is like that. my mil used to take care of him and pil super pamper him and although now no longer babysitting him, he still prefer mil to sil and comes over to stay overnight every weekend, if not he will throw tantrum. once my hubby asked him who gave birth to him, and he said it's mil. we tried to correct him but he refused and cried and throw tantrum, saying his mum didn't give birth to him, is mil give birth to him... he super sticky to mil until sil bring him over he immediately come in and sometimes didn't even bother to turn back say bye bye to his mum. which i feel is quite sad and i am v scared that it will happen to bb n me too. btw i'm staying with my pil.

my bb also need to carry to slp. is my parents carry her first... cos i did confinement at my parents' place. then now my pil carry her... sigh, as long as they are willing to carry her, i just close one eye...

 

[Alisa]

ya... its very sad.. unless we can move out immediately or else we only left with close both eyes, thats the best solution.

 

[precious mummy]

Yes that why before hand I already told my husband I don't want Yao LAN . I don't he used to it . Cause once bb used to it you have to Yao Everytime . Once you stop he will cry . I don't want give him such bad habit . So whenever they said want to dao Yao LAN I just tell my husband I don't want . Afterall is tough cause I'm taking care of my son alone . Ya unless we can move out immediately or else nothing we can do. Pathetic much ):

 

[Sxien82]

In law and other all evils

Thanks firstmummy,you take care too.
Few days after posting about me worrying my mil would make me suffer even more. Something i predicted happen too soon. Saturday night when i was enjoying watching my running man with my hubby suddenly phone rings at 11night its my father in law wants to scold me over the phone. Of coyrse iam bewildred whats wrong?? Very soon i know its my second brother in law, he wants to ask more money from his daddy so he told their parents that i leaked out finance information to his wife(iam working for one of their small business). Therefore father in law was very angry and qants to curse at me. Infact i never tell anyone about what iam working on,hello i why should i gossip abt that? Few hours of finding truth and finally the wife of that scoundrel second bro in law admit that i never talk anythig regards my work. My father in law never apologize. Mother in law said "okay lor if thats the case,forget abt this matter then". I couldnt bring myself to forget it, i ran out from house that midnight and stay in hotel for 3nights. For me these people are so monsterous. They know iam pregnant,his wife is also pregnant 6weeks. Yet his wife is so precious but iam so worthless? I cried soo much over the 3days. And iam still having nightmare about this incident. Sorry i wrote so much

 

[precious mummy]

Don't cry too much ! And becareful no matter what . they always think they are precious we're like worthless to them . Because we don't have any value . But hello . It's us to give birth and they got grandson or grandfather . Don't have us they don't have any hope . Why they still always pick on us. Just because we are girls we married in .