Hi all,
I supposed i am new to mummysg, usually i hang out at SMH. I read most of the threads here and most of the touching stories that caused salt water to well in my eyes... I couldnt control myself anymore but to share my story in hope of advice and support....
I apologise for the long content, i try to give as much detail as far as i can remember...
I shall start from the time we met...
I was working in a marine company and my wife was the new admin girl just joined the company. Back then she was already attached and me, still very much single... She didnt have the attractive look at 1st, just quite normal i suppose... I guess when i look at her more, she began to look more attractive to me...
How we got together is quite amazing...
One day she was going to the canteen to buy some food, me and other male colleagues were sitting in the resting room chatting and she came in asked if we wanted any drinks... As a new colleague i guess she was just being nice. As the orders goes around, my turn came and she asked if i wanted any... Me, young and trying to be funny, i asked for her number instead... She looked shocked at 1st, that look was kind of cute actually i still rememberd it very clearly. She paused for a sec, and gave me her number !! Wow, i scored !! And of coz i was teased by my other colleagues, and she was kinda embarressed and hurried walk away... I think that day onwards she kinda knew i had a crush on her...
It was after some time, she broke off with her boyfriend and was single. Our relationship kinda kick off since... We went out once a while for dinner, catching the latest movies.... She had a habit of keeping all the movie tickets we went to watch. Cute ya ?*
During our relationship, i dont think we really talked alot. I think the reason why is i was quite a quiet guy, perhaps its just my character...
We had our good times and bad times *and despite all this, we were together for about 1 yr before we got married...
Well here is another story on how we actually got married...
We went out as usual, probably on a weekend coz i rememberd we were not working the next day. We had dinner and was kinda late. Us being young and wild at that age we went to a pub in Mohd Sultan to chill. Its a nice club, nice music, nice drinks... We drank abit, got abit drunk, the nite seems late and we sort of didnt wanna go home... So i guess you might have gotten some bit of idea where we ended up....*
Time passes, we got along well, as usual some ups and downs.... Then one day she told me something that changed both our lives totally.... Need any clues ? Yes, she missed her period and Yes, she was pregnant....
Both of us was shocked, especially her coz i see some sadness in her eyes like she was afraid.... I guess being pregnant at age 24 was something she would never expect... We discussed this issue calmly, trying to figure the best way. I remember at one point of time i wasnt really thinking in the right mind, i asked her for an abortion. Yes, i know its the worse thing a girlfriend would want to hear from her boyfriend and worse yet she was pregnant !! Obviously she refused the idea, boy was i relieved she didnt do it. It would been the worse regret of our lives, ever...
Time was not really on our side, hey i only got about 4 mths before everyone knows rite ? We decided to get married, but the reason was not solely becoz of our baby... We loved each other as well, otherwise we wont have "done it" rite ?
Time has come for me to meet her family, FOR THE 1ST TIME !! Haha, can you imagine that, meeting my future mother in law and her siblings for the 1st time when we were together for about one yr...
Her mom agreed to the wedding, so does my family... It seems like there were no other choice rite ? Dumb dumb me.... We made plans for the wedding, ROM date, preparation and stuff... Both of us were quite into the preparations, i can tell she is looking forward to the big day. And so was i...
Our ROM date was settled on 14-10-2005 and our banquet on 21-01-2006...
Soon, she was in labor ward, and i was with her all the time. The excitement, the anticipation, i am sure most of you can relate to that kind of feeling. I was very excited to be there. Imagine, you being a parent for the very 1st time. Your mind starts wondering, who will our baby take after ? Will our baby be healthy ? Will mommy be alright ? I remember sleeping there in the chair for about 3 nites before the doc induce the labor. Her water bag broke, and its the beginning of war... Once the pain starts, she was in labor for about 8hrs. I never left her alone during that time, i stayed by her side, assuring her everything will be fine. I am here to do battle with you side by side. I remember it was midnite and its like a war zone in the ward. Docs and nurses came in and out, alot of questions asked... Then, it finally came. One of the docs said the opening is right, everyone got ready....
There i hold her hand tightly, saying "its gonna be alright Dear". She nodded and start to push, push as hard as she can and breath... "Dear you can do it, yes come on..." ITS A GIRL !!*
As i hold my baby girl in my arms, looking at her all wrapped up... I softly say, "hey, you will be fine, daddy is here. Look, can you see mommy ?" She is the most beautiful girl in the world, just like mommy. I am the most happiest father in the world. My wife, exhausted lies on the bed. I went over and kissed her... Thank you Dear Dear, you have done a great job...
Our 1st newborn girl came to us proud parents in April 2006. 2 yrs later, we had our 2nd girl in Feb 2008.
I was 26, she was 24... And we had our 1st child already... Cool yeah ?
Married Life...
May i ask, what did you expect your married to be ? How is it gonna be like ? In the beginning we were much in love, we just got our new house in Hougang furniture and all and moved in. That was before our newborn actually...
Life went well for us in our 1st 3 years of married life and living together, except that i changed quite a number of jobs to accommodate the family schedule. Here is what happens... I was working in this marine company for quite some time, i cant remember how long... The job requirement is sometime i may need to station offshore for awhile. Once i left for Malaysia waters for one month and the only way to communicate with home is thru internet and skype. I cried every night to slee in my cabin bed, missing my wife and 2 girls so much...
I am not the kind of guy who can sacrifice family for work, i cant... Seeing my wife home alone taking care of 2 newborns single handedly is not easy even though she says she will get over it. I decided to change jobs to help look after them and of coz expected a much lower salary.
Life was still ok when i switched jobs once a few mths, just a few squabbles once awhile over financial problems... Then one day, i reckon it was the start of our nightmares and the turning point of my life...
I as a father and husband, am well aware of the family situation. My wife and i dont earn much but still we are able to live by. We are not very materialistic, we dont spend alot probably just once a month we went out pampering ourselves with Jacks Place or some nice restaurant dinner.
As the family is just surviving on our monthly wages, i obviously cant bare to see the family in this state rite ? Who doesnt want his/her family to be better ? I wanted to do more for the family, i wanna do my job as a good husband and a good father. One fine day, somehow without much realisation... I was slowly slipping and gotten involved with some MLM company.
I am not trying to speak up for this company, but this company is different from other MLMs... What did i do ? I started to slowly "sell" their products. I know what some of you might be thinking, i need to buy in bulk stocks in order to make more profits rite ? Yes, but i did not buy big just one or two for standby.
Becoz of this MLM thing we started to quarrel often which i really do not know over what... If its money, i didnt buy big just a couple in case there are enquiries. If its spending less time with family, i only go out for appts only when there is an appt fixed... She says she just doesnt like me to do it becoz she didnt like MLMs, but she didnt understand why i need and want to is becoz i want my family to be better.
I admit i was abit obsessed in the beginning till a point i wanted to open a small shop for retailing. Crazy rite ?
Talking about the shop i really find it strange... I went out searching for a good location and viewed some sites, once i brought her along to this location and asked her opinion. You know what she says ? She gave me good positive opinions, where cupboards can be displayed; the surroundings etc... Here is what i find strange, if she disagrees and disapproves so much of me being involved in this MLM thing then why does she still showed me support and still encourages me ? I really dont understand till this day...
Things start to got worse after i open the shop... Initially i thought we were getting fine till she dealt me a massive blow so massive i never saw coming...
We have not been close ever since the beginning of this MLM thing, i was involved for about 2 yrs and we quarreled much during those times. We had not been close and intimate for quite some time, its so bad that i cant even touch her AT ALL !! Not even the tips of her hair, not even fingernails and not even sitting side by side on the sofa. Can you imagine already ? One day, we finally had the chance of going out alone without our 2 girls following us. We were walking and i tried to hold her hand, i thought we had not been quarreling for some time so it should be ok... Instead of letting me she brush me off and folded her arms. I knew she had not forgotten and forgiven but i kept quiet coz i dont wanna quarrel again, obviously i was heartbrokened...
The following day i sent her an email telling her how i feel, asking her why. I knew its becoz of the shop she is upset about and me being a good father and good husband i made a decision. In the email i wrote to her if its the shop and the MLM thing she is unhappy about, in order for my family to be together again i am willing to give up the shop and stop all MLM activities and never to do such thing again. I did and i stopped...
Soon she replied my mail, the contents i would never ever expect to see, not even in my dreams... She says after all the quarrels and fights for the past 3 yrs, the love has died and she asked for a divorce. DIVORCE ?? What have i done ? I only wanted my family life to be better, i invested in business hoping to rake in more money, am i wrong to do that ? I was devastated, my whole life crashed, cried, angered, begged... Not a single word in vocabulary can ever describe my feelings...
What happen since that day was strange, everything seemed different...*
We still lived under the same roof but its so different, you know what i mean ?*Till this day we are still legally married and yes i still hope it will stay that way. Though we still go out as family with the kids, i cant hold her hand or get close to her which really breaks my heart.
Nearing the end of my story i like to say this to everyone...
She is my wife and i love her very much. I remembered the oath i took on 14-10-2005 to take care of her in sickness in health, in riches in poor and till death do us part... Though we are not filing anymore but stays married on paper, we seemed to lead seperate lives. Should i count my blessings that we are not filing ? That we still living under the same roof together with the kids ?
All i ever wanted is my family to be together, happy joyful full of laughs like how it used to when we 1st started 6 yrs ago... We may be not rich, but as long as we still are family we can conquer most obstacles.
I am 32 now, and she is 30... Is it a trend to end relationships with or without kids at our age ?
All i ever wanted now, is to love and be loved...
I supposed i am new to mummysg, usually i hang out at SMH. I read most of the threads here and most of the touching stories that caused salt water to well in my eyes... I couldnt control myself anymore but to share my story in hope of advice and support....
I apologise for the long content, i try to give as much detail as far as i can remember...
I shall start from the time we met...
I was working in a marine company and my wife was the new admin girl just joined the company. Back then she was already attached and me, still very much single... She didnt have the attractive look at 1st, just quite normal i suppose... I guess when i look at her more, she began to look more attractive to me...
How we got together is quite amazing...
One day she was going to the canteen to buy some food, me and other male colleagues were sitting in the resting room chatting and she came in asked if we wanted any drinks... As a new colleague i guess she was just being nice. As the orders goes around, my turn came and she asked if i wanted any... Me, young and trying to be funny, i asked for her number instead... She looked shocked at 1st, that look was kind of cute actually i still rememberd it very clearly. She paused for a sec, and gave me her number !! Wow, i scored !! And of coz i was teased by my other colleagues, and she was kinda embarressed and hurried walk away... I think that day onwards she kinda knew i had a crush on her...
It was after some time, she broke off with her boyfriend and was single. Our relationship kinda kick off since... We went out once a while for dinner, catching the latest movies.... She had a habit of keeping all the movie tickets we went to watch. Cute ya ?*
During our relationship, i dont think we really talked alot. I think the reason why is i was quite a quiet guy, perhaps its just my character...
We had our good times and bad times *and despite all this, we were together for about 1 yr before we got married...
Well here is another story on how we actually got married...
We went out as usual, probably on a weekend coz i rememberd we were not working the next day. We had dinner and was kinda late. Us being young and wild at that age we went to a pub in Mohd Sultan to chill. Its a nice club, nice music, nice drinks... We drank abit, got abit drunk, the nite seems late and we sort of didnt wanna go home... So i guess you might have gotten some bit of idea where we ended up....*
Time passes, we got along well, as usual some ups and downs.... Then one day she told me something that changed both our lives totally.... Need any clues ? Yes, she missed her period and Yes, she was pregnant....
Both of us was shocked, especially her coz i see some sadness in her eyes like she was afraid.... I guess being pregnant at age 24 was something she would never expect... We discussed this issue calmly, trying to figure the best way. I remember at one point of time i wasnt really thinking in the right mind, i asked her for an abortion. Yes, i know its the worse thing a girlfriend would want to hear from her boyfriend and worse yet she was pregnant !! Obviously she refused the idea, boy was i relieved she didnt do it. It would been the worse regret of our lives, ever...
Time was not really on our side, hey i only got about 4 mths before everyone knows rite ? We decided to get married, but the reason was not solely becoz of our baby... We loved each other as well, otherwise we wont have "done it" rite ?
Time has come for me to meet her family, FOR THE 1ST TIME !! Haha, can you imagine that, meeting my future mother in law and her siblings for the 1st time when we were together for about one yr...
Her mom agreed to the wedding, so does my family... It seems like there were no other choice rite ? Dumb dumb me.... We made plans for the wedding, ROM date, preparation and stuff... Both of us were quite into the preparations, i can tell she is looking forward to the big day. And so was i...
Our ROM date was settled on 14-10-2005 and our banquet on 21-01-2006...
Soon, she was in labor ward, and i was with her all the time. The excitement, the anticipation, i am sure most of you can relate to that kind of feeling. I was very excited to be there. Imagine, you being a parent for the very 1st time. Your mind starts wondering, who will our baby take after ? Will our baby be healthy ? Will mommy be alright ? I remember sleeping there in the chair for about 3 nites before the doc induce the labor. Her water bag broke, and its the beginning of war... Once the pain starts, she was in labor for about 8hrs. I never left her alone during that time, i stayed by her side, assuring her everything will be fine. I am here to do battle with you side by side. I remember it was midnite and its like a war zone in the ward. Docs and nurses came in and out, alot of questions asked... Then, it finally came. One of the docs said the opening is right, everyone got ready....
There i hold her hand tightly, saying "its gonna be alright Dear". She nodded and start to push, push as hard as she can and breath... "Dear you can do it, yes come on..." ITS A GIRL !!*
As i hold my baby girl in my arms, looking at her all wrapped up... I softly say, "hey, you will be fine, daddy is here. Look, can you see mommy ?" She is the most beautiful girl in the world, just like mommy. I am the most happiest father in the world. My wife, exhausted lies on the bed. I went over and kissed her... Thank you Dear Dear, you have done a great job...
Our 1st newborn girl came to us proud parents in April 2006. 2 yrs later, we had our 2nd girl in Feb 2008.
I was 26, she was 24... And we had our 1st child already... Cool yeah ?
Married Life...
May i ask, what did you expect your married to be ? How is it gonna be like ? In the beginning we were much in love, we just got our new house in Hougang furniture and all and moved in. That was before our newborn actually...
Life went well for us in our 1st 3 years of married life and living together, except that i changed quite a number of jobs to accommodate the family schedule. Here is what happens... I was working in this marine company for quite some time, i cant remember how long... The job requirement is sometime i may need to station offshore for awhile. Once i left for Malaysia waters for one month and the only way to communicate with home is thru internet and skype. I cried every night to slee in my cabin bed, missing my wife and 2 girls so much...
I am not the kind of guy who can sacrifice family for work, i cant... Seeing my wife home alone taking care of 2 newborns single handedly is not easy even though she says she will get over it. I decided to change jobs to help look after them and of coz expected a much lower salary.
Life was still ok when i switched jobs once a few mths, just a few squabbles once awhile over financial problems... Then one day, i reckon it was the start of our nightmares and the turning point of my life...
I as a father and husband, am well aware of the family situation. My wife and i dont earn much but still we are able to live by. We are not very materialistic, we dont spend alot probably just once a month we went out pampering ourselves with Jacks Place or some nice restaurant dinner.
As the family is just surviving on our monthly wages, i obviously cant bare to see the family in this state rite ? Who doesnt want his/her family to be better ? I wanted to do more for the family, i wanna do my job as a good husband and a good father. One fine day, somehow without much realisation... I was slowly slipping and gotten involved with some MLM company.
I am not trying to speak up for this company, but this company is different from other MLMs... What did i do ? I started to slowly "sell" their products. I know what some of you might be thinking, i need to buy in bulk stocks in order to make more profits rite ? Yes, but i did not buy big just one or two for standby.
Becoz of this MLM thing we started to quarrel often which i really do not know over what... If its money, i didnt buy big just a couple in case there are enquiries. If its spending less time with family, i only go out for appts only when there is an appt fixed... She says she just doesnt like me to do it becoz she didnt like MLMs, but she didnt understand why i need and want to is becoz i want my family to be better.
I admit i was abit obsessed in the beginning till a point i wanted to open a small shop for retailing. Crazy rite ?
Talking about the shop i really find it strange... I went out searching for a good location and viewed some sites, once i brought her along to this location and asked her opinion. You know what she says ? She gave me good positive opinions, where cupboards can be displayed; the surroundings etc... Here is what i find strange, if she disagrees and disapproves so much of me being involved in this MLM thing then why does she still showed me support and still encourages me ? I really dont understand till this day...
Things start to got worse after i open the shop... Initially i thought we were getting fine till she dealt me a massive blow so massive i never saw coming...
We have not been close ever since the beginning of this MLM thing, i was involved for about 2 yrs and we quarreled much during those times. We had not been close and intimate for quite some time, its so bad that i cant even touch her AT ALL !! Not even the tips of her hair, not even fingernails and not even sitting side by side on the sofa. Can you imagine already ? One day, we finally had the chance of going out alone without our 2 girls following us. We were walking and i tried to hold her hand, i thought we had not been quarreling for some time so it should be ok... Instead of letting me she brush me off and folded her arms. I knew she had not forgotten and forgiven but i kept quiet coz i dont wanna quarrel again, obviously i was heartbrokened...
The following day i sent her an email telling her how i feel, asking her why. I knew its becoz of the shop she is upset about and me being a good father and good husband i made a decision. In the email i wrote to her if its the shop and the MLM thing she is unhappy about, in order for my family to be together again i am willing to give up the shop and stop all MLM activities and never to do such thing again. I did and i stopped...
Soon she replied my mail, the contents i would never ever expect to see, not even in my dreams... She says after all the quarrels and fights for the past 3 yrs, the love has died and she asked for a divorce. DIVORCE ?? What have i done ? I only wanted my family life to be better, i invested in business hoping to rake in more money, am i wrong to do that ? I was devastated, my whole life crashed, cried, angered, begged... Not a single word in vocabulary can ever describe my feelings...
What happen since that day was strange, everything seemed different...*
We still lived under the same roof but its so different, you know what i mean ?*Till this day we are still legally married and yes i still hope it will stay that way. Though we still go out as family with the kids, i cant hold her hand or get close to her which really breaks my heart.
Nearing the end of my story i like to say this to everyone...
She is my wife and i love her very much. I remembered the oath i took on 14-10-2005 to take care of her in sickness in health, in riches in poor and till death do us part... Though we are not filing anymore but stays married on paper, we seemed to lead seperate lives. Should i count my blessings that we are not filing ? That we still living under the same roof together with the kids ?
All i ever wanted is my family to be together, happy joyful full of laughs like how it used to when we 1st started 6 yrs ago... We may be not rich, but as long as we still are family we can conquer most obstacles.
I am 32 now, and she is 30... Is it a trend to end relationships with or without kids at our age ?
All i ever wanted now, is to love and be loved...
