My story.

Discussion in 'Single Parents Support Group' started by Abyss, Sep 14, 2016.

  1. Abyss

    Abyss New Member

    I am a single mum with 4 kids.I married young and gone through 3 marriages.
    Some may say I am stupid etc.... but I don't get bothered because I believed even I am a single mum, I still deserved to be love and treated right.
    I was only 19 yrs old when I married my 1st husband. He was 12 yrs older than me. He treats me nice but his mother soon dislike me because she cannot stand losing her youngest son to me. He is torn between his mum n me. We moved out and she was very unhappy. After 2 yrs, I had my 1st child. As soon as I was back from hospital, she quickly took my bb from my arms. My own mother had to do confinement for me. I married a peranakan from malacca. Soon, days before my bb full month. My MIL scolded my mum and start to chase her out of the house. I was very angry and we had a fight. Hell broke loose. My mum went back SG with a heavy heart and worrying for me. Then in order not to let my family contact me. They moved me to somewhere else. However after 2 months, my family finally managed to locate me and brought me back to SG. I was heartbroken as I had to leave my bb behind cos she has no passport. In SG, I found a job asap and got lawyers in SG and in Malaysia. I filed for divorce and get custody of bb. When bb was four months old. I finally get to bring her back to SG. Her father never get to see the child and heard he fell sick and pass aaway 9yrs ago. When I used to call him when I was in SG, I would hear my bb crying and he would say things like bb fell from bed and do I need him to roll red carpet for me to see the bb...etc...
    Well, that chapter I put it behind me and I moved on. I married my 2nd husband when my girl was 7yrs old. He was my best friend in school and we knew each other when we were 13 yrs old. Have kept in touch and he was always in my life and in my family's life for as long as I can remember. My girl calls him Daddy. He comes from a strict family. We gone through a fair bit from his family to get married. They have own family business overseas. So I relocated with my child. We had our own place but somehow, ppl will still find trouble for me.... it wasn't till like 5 yrs of marriage. My In laws especially FIL keeps asking why I am not having kids with his son. Told us to see a Dr n in the end we went for IVF. It was heartbreaking,mental and physical tiredness......after 2nd attempt, I had twins.
    Well, happiness turns to sadness again. After twins were 6mths old. In laws came knocking at the house door when husband is away to Europe for business trip. MIL shed tears and FIL says to go back SG will be better for kids education etc..... and husband can go back to visit whenever he is free.......
    Soon, my husband and me had fights over this. In the end, packed up and left for SG. My eldest girl had to adjust from international school to local school is tough cos standard in SG is high. And she needs to take PSLE that yr when we are back. In no time, I got a job in a short time of 3 months. I was not used cos never work for long time. But for my kids sake, I had to be strong. My husband claims he at a lost. But he keeps spending his time with him BFF and I was unhappy becos he should be doing something and not avoiding it. By then, a yr or so past. I was back home and I heard him being rude to my mum. I told him to get out of the house and leave and soon I engage a lawyer to file for divorce.
    He did not want a divorce but I am a person who is too strong in character. Don't know if this is a good or bad thing....
    Divorce and care.and control was to me. Initially, I forbid him to spend time with the kids cos he did not spend time with them when we are back in SG. But as time passes, I still let the kids go out half a day with him.
    Then I met this guy at a school reunion. He seems like a changed person. He tried to woo me and date me. And soon like almost a yr, we were seeing each other. He puts on an act and soon, his bad temper and abusive side came out. I still tolerated and stayed on. I was pregnant. I did not want to marry but I am willing to keep the bb cos I think bb is innocent and its a life. It wasn't until I am 81/2 mths pregnant. We ROM. Once the bb was out, he came by to my place everyday to see his child. But he wants my 3kids away from the boy. During confinement, he came to my place twice to take bb away with his mum. I always threaten him about him driving with a licence. Then he will return the bb back to me. I have a PPO against him. He has taken alot of money from me and he insisted we buy a 5 room flat. He wanted me to get loan for renovation etc. I refused. Soon, He filed for annulment for this marriage. He did so cos he did not want me to be the one to file for it. He nvr pay a single cent for maintenance, hospital bills, bb vaccines etc... the Family Court judge order him to pay but he paid only twice last yr and in Aug this yr as we gg to court Sept. This is totally crazy. Cos he reported to police that I abuse.the bb as well. In his affidavit he wrote lots of rubbish.....too many for me to continue... I hope he will be put behind bars soon becos he is charged in court too for fraud.

    Despite all this that happened, I always tell myself that I should not be ashamed of myself. I am proud because I am raising my 4kids and I have a proper job. I thank my mother from the bottom of my heart because of her unconditional love for me and my children.
    I never wanted any of these to happen. As a woman, I want to be love and have a happy marriage too. But it's not meant to be. I chose to walk out because.I don't want my children to suffer and I have a right not to suffer in silence too. I provide and love my children as a mother and father to them. I know it's different and difficult but I will stay strong and positive.

    I never rob, kill someone or really do anything bad. I work hard to earn a living. Most importantly,its my life. No one is responsible for it. What people say don't bother me. Cos at the end of the day. I don't owe them a living.

    I hope single Mum's out there will not let their failed marriage bring them down. There are always someone out there who is worst. We have to be strong. It's not the end of the world. It's life and life still goes on....
  2. Jojobambi

    Jojobambi New Member

    hugs Abyss...u have gone through are now strong ...hugs :eek:range:

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