my wife concern her sister kid more than our 6wks old baby girl

[harangue]

i thank my wife for the cute little girl.

but

she is more concern abt her sister's children and she is not using the energy to love our baby more.

i never sweep the floor or wash my clothes, but whenever im free, i mop the floor in our room and wash the baby's bed. As the baby is sleeping w us, she needs a clean environment and MY WIFE who is a housewife doesnt care.

She keeps talks abt her sister's kids and buy stuff for them.

i CANNOT stand a mother who pay more attention to other's pple kids than hers. Our baby is ONLY 6 weeks old.

 

[Mommyforallseason]

Maybe you wife is just in the adjustment period..
Tell her everyday that your baby needs her attention.
Im sure that she is adjusting to motherhood just have patience.

 

[harangue]

We have reach to the stage where we need to talk abt going on our own ways. She wants this and that while im the sole bread winner and her sisters are pressuring her to ask me for $$

I do not drink, gamble, have affair, smoke and i go home once i finish work.

I bring them out when im not working.

She said im not gd enff.

 

[kittyyeo]

sometimes is not about what u give... is about what she want... you can give her all the best u have but it doesn't mean is the best she want... ie. she want a glass of plain water but u gave her a glass of milo...

guess all if not majority of the mother loves their child... maybe she already paid alot of attention on ur lil princess when u are not ard?? if u guys really want the best for ur daughter... u all need to sit down and have a good talk... giving ur child a "complete family" may or may not be the best solution... decide carefully... if u guys can talk and solve the present situation... den is the best... the relationship will be stronger every time u all go thru some "storm"...

all the best... ur lil princess needs mummy and daddy... but if mummy and daddy always quarrel... kids also will feel sad and unhappy... =)

 

[harangue]

Hi kitty,

she just told me and my parents that she dont want her anymore.

What can i do? i really dont know.

She can carry our baby and tell me her sister's kids prob.

sometimes is not about what u give... is about what she want... you can give her all the best u have but it doesn't mean is the best she want... ie. she want a glass of plain water but u gave her a glass of milo...

guess all if not majority of the mother loves their child... maybe she already paid alot of attention on ur lil princess when u are not ard?? if u guys really want the best for ur daughter... u all need to sit down and have a good talk... giving ur child a "complete family" may or may not be the best solution... decide carefully... if u guys can talk and solve the present situation... den is the best... the relationship will be stronger every time u all go thru some "storm"...

all the best... ur lil princess needs mummy and daddy... but if mummy and daddy always quarrel... kids also will feel sad and unhappy... =)

 

[kittyyeo]

is she going thru some stress??? sometimes mummy has post natal depression de wor... give her more time... looking after others kids is always easier den own kids... try to create time for the two of u only??? sometimes the mummy may feel all the attention given to the little one...

 

[PinkDiamonds]

Have you talked to her about your expectations of her? Has she talked to you about her expectations of you?

There needs to be an agreement between the 2 of you.

As a sole breadwinner, it can be very hard on you as the entire financial burden is on you. Adults can don't eat, but the baby must drink milk and be well taken care of.

From what you say I am assuming that she is a full-time mum. Does she have any intentions on going back to work?

I don't know the whole story, so based on what you are saying, I am assuming that she is a full-time mum, and I assume that you both have agreed that she stay home to look after the baby and do housework.

Since you have agreed on this, then she needs to understand that there are sacrifices to be made. Money will be tighter because you have another mouth to feed. So she may not be able to get the things she wants. Maybe you can fulfill some, but not all. Because some of the things she want, she have to give it up so that her baby girl can be taken care of. She has to lower her expectations a bit, and stop thinking only about herself.

My husband is also a sold breadwinner, and over time I've had to slowly learn that i cannot have everything I want. It wasn't something that was overnight, it took a while, so give her some time to learn it. She has also just given birth, so her emotions might be unstable due to hormonal changes, so do be patient with her.

 

[JazN]

if possible try to get either your mum or her mum to help out. Do discuss with her. Doing housework & handling a nb is not easy as she needs to rest when the baby does.

She may be in dilemma herself on how to handle the baby, being a 1st time mum, & she has not gotten accustom yet but slowly she will.

some mum do have post-natal depression so in the meantime also talk with her.

Take care!

 

[Gem2505]

i suppose ur wife like kids alot? I used to look after my niece alot too. even until im pregnant, i still always bring my niece out n meet her every week. Even after i've delivered, i still love my niece alot. the kind of love built over the period of a few years, cant compare to our own kids. i delivered my girl this year, i had to pay more time for my newborn but still, i do meet my niece often but not as frequent as before but i will call my cousin n chat and find out how is my niece doing etc.

was watching Mark Lee's show last week on full time mummy. totally agreed that its not easy to be a full time mum.
full time mummy is more tiring than working mum. just because its full time mum, everyone/hubby will expect everything at home to be Perfect, bb cannot fall down, cannot fall sick. any negative thing happen, means mummy didnt do a good job. but thats not the case. any mum wont want their kid to fall sick or injure themself. my cousin even comment that she rather go to work n let the kids go to sch coz its very tiring looking after kids at home. full attention needed and have to prepare every single thing.

i believe as time passes, the love bond between ur wife n ur girl will be strong. i m a working mum, my time spent with bb is lesser but i will take time to do everything with my girl after work.

give ur wife some time. i suppose she is v stressful over herself and this is ur first child? maybe she's inexperience thats why she got irritated and agitated easily?

 

[AugBoyz]

I presume that her sister's kids are older? perhaps she has not gotten used to taking care of a NB who constantly needs her 100% attention. Maybe she has been telling u abt her sister's kids problem but u did not take note. Try finding out from her the reason why she wants to "disown" her daughter n separate from you? Are you in good terms with ur in-laws (PIL & SIL etc)? seek 3rd party's assistant if both of you cant come to terms.

 

[MyHappyKids]

Post nata depression?

i thank my wife for the cute little girl.

but

she is more concern abt her sister's children and she is not using the energy to love our baby more.

i never sweep the floor or wash my clothes, but whenever im free, i mop the floor in our room and wash the baby's bed. As the baby is sleeping w us, she needs a clean environment and MY WIFE who is a housewife doesnt care.

She keeps talks abt her sister's kids and buy stuff for them.

i CANNOT stand a mother who pay more attention to other's pple kids than hers. Our baby is ONLY 6 weeks old.