Need some help~

[siling87]

I am currently under separation and my ex was under warrant arrest for not paying the maintenance. I went to legal aid to file for divorce but I was told that without my ex signature I can't do anything. I had asked my friends about this and they told me that I do not need his signature if I have a valid reason. But isn't irresponsible also considered as valid reason? He din even care about us anymore and not contacting. All I want is to be free again and aleast I can apply for a house together with my son. Is there any way I can do? We already separated for 3 years.

 

[mag_huiling]

if im not wrong, you can go straight to family court to file for divorce?

If not u can wait till 4 years of separation. if separated less than 4 years, need both parties' agreement for divorce. if separated more than 4 years, if ur ex also disagree, then too bad for him, he also have to agree...

 

[masayuki]

Either of these must be fulfilled to file for divorce:

• that your spouse has committed adultery, and you find it intolerable to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has deserted you for at least two years (requires evidence)
• if your spouse agrees to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least three years (requires signature of spouse, in addition to DOS)
• if your spouse does not agree to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least four years (requires DOS)

 

[huiping85]

Hi siling.. i guess u have the similar situation quite same as my sister.. she too seperated with the husband for 3yrs + . Recently she engage a lawyer to file for divorce.. At 1st her ex did went to the lawyer firm to sign for the agreement of divorce. Then, went in court, he suddenly pop up and say he disagree to the seperation.. He totally do nt understand wad is the meaning of SEPERATION! He assume tt since he did bring his son out at times during this 3yrs, is nt consider seperated 3yrs.. Bt actually the fact is as long as they have nt been staying tgt for 3yrs and no sex involve. Now he said he will be engagin a lawyer too.. He going bak to family court again today tgt with his lawyer and my sis lawyer.. so wad is the outcome today.. will update u again..
Btw he nw want to fight for the son custody.. I duno hw many % chance he will gt to share.. Hope he dun..

 

[masayuki]

Huiping, that idiot is still at it ah?

Is he even working now?

 

[huiping85]

Huiping, that idiot is still at it ?

Is he even working now?

tt dae in court he said he will be meetig his "lawyer"
bt den nv lor.. he juz trying to drag time.. nw my sis lawyer sae, he juz wanna engage govt lawyer.. bt as wad i know.. to engage govt lawyer , the salary gt to be below $800 or smth..
He is working nw, and he even tell his son, " papa nw doing BUSINESS" !!!
and 1 more thing.. we found out tt he is driving w/o a drivin lic.. bt we juz dun have the evidence

 

[masayuki]

that dae in court he said he will be meetig his "lawyer"
bt then never .. he just trying to drag time.. now my sis lawyer sae, he just wanna engage govt lawyer.. bt as what i know.. to engage govt lawyer , the salary gt to be below $800 or smth..
He is working now, and he even tell his son, " papa now doing BUSINESS" !!!
and 1 more thing.. we found out that he is driving w/o a drivin lic.. bt we just dont have the evidence

If you sure that he is driving without a license, just get me his ic number and full name + the car plate number he is driving.... hehehehe.....

 

[huiping85]

If you sure that he is driving without a license, just get me his ic number and full name + the car plate number he is driving.... hehehehe.....

ya sure.. worst still he drive his son out on sat..
den at night whn my mum call him and ask wad time comin bak, an said tt wan to talk to hiim, tt idiot teach his son to tell lie.. Lie to my mum tt they are in the taxi.. bt den whn my nephew come bak hm, he alwasy will tell us where he went all tt.. Then he said tt his papa drive him bak.. So to cfm, i ask him again.. is his papa the one driving? and where is he sitting.. my nephew said ya his papa the driver, and he sitting beside his papa, driving a black car..
then again, last sat, whn he otw to my hse to pick his son up, he called my sis hp saying he will reach soon.. den my nephew on loud speaker and we heard him saying he is driving nw, otw already..
i have his full name all tt, bt i dun have the car plate number..
i heard from 1 of his frn , tt this car does nt belong to him.. is his frn car. his frn will drive in the dae and he drive night, cause night time more safer.. stupid.. hw ah sam

 

[masayuki]

He'll have to be caught in the act, does he drive the car every night? At least if no car plate number, must have the place he picks ups the car....

 

[huiping85]

He'll have to be caught in the act, does he drive the car every night? At least if no car plate number, must have the place he picks ups the car....

i guess so.. i have no idea too where he pick up the car.. bt if like tt maybe this sat he come over again, den i prob sneak out to the void deck den peep

 

[SunShine07]

Either of these must be fulfilled to file for divorce:

• that your spouse has committed adultery, and you find it intolerable to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has deserted you for at least two years (requires evidence)
• if your spouse agrees to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least three years (requires signature of spouse, in addition to DOS)
• if your spouse does not agree to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least four years (requires DOS)

Hi may i know if committed adultery, what kind of evidence is needed? Photo or what? I wanted to divorce due to this, but i dun have any photos, but i know how to get that gal. But what if he had stop contacting with this gal? He committed it with her a year ago....

 

[masayuki]

Hi may i know if committed adultery, what kind of evidence is needed? Photo or what? I wanted to divorce due to this, but i dont have any photos, but i know how to get that gal. But what if he had stop contacting with this gal? He committed it with her a year ago....

You would need incriminating videos, or photos that prove beyond reasonable doubt that adultery has been committed....

Or you need the admission of the girl in a sworn affidavit. Or if you have neutral witnesses.... Really depends on what you are accusing your spouse of....

I would advise you to go counselling with your spouse though.... Divorce is not the best solution for everyone....

 

[SunShine07]

thanks for your info. but, can i ask what does it mean? (admission of the girl in a sworn affidavit. Or if you have neutral witnesses)

wanted to go for divorce not soley becos of this, he abuse me b4 (which i dun have evidence, did not make any police report b4) and make my life very miserable now. BUt can't let him know i wan to divorce first cos he might make a scence at my workplace n my mum's place. and he even tot of snatching my son away from me and i really very scare ~

 

[masayuki]

thanks for your info. but, can i ask what does it mean? (admission of the girl in a sworn affidavit. Or if you have neutral witnesses)

wanted to go for divorce not soley becos of this, he abuse me before (which i dont have evidence, did not make any police report before) and make my life very miserable now. BUt can't let him know i want to divorce first cos he might make a scence at my workplace n my mum's place. and he even thought of snatching my son away from me and i really very scare ~

It means that the girl must admit to it and you will have to file a sworn statement from her, or if you have witnesses who are not related to you....

If he's abusing you, you need at least medical reports. I would advice you to make a police report. If he causes a scene at your workplace or tries to harm you or your son, it'll just prove your case.....

 

[huiping85]

He'll have to be caught in the act, does he drive the car every night? At least if no car plate number, must have the place he picks ups the car....

sam sam i have check by ecitizen and cfm he has gt no lic !!!!
nw muz gt EVIDENCE !!!!!!!!!!!!! ancing_wub:

 

[masayuki]

sam sam i have check by ecitizen and cfm he has gt no lic !!!!
now must gt EVIDENCE !!!!!!!!!!!!! ancing_wub:

You have my mobile number right? just sms me the details, dun post on the forum okie? later get sued! :tlaugh:

 

[siling87]

Either of these must be fulfilled to file for divorce:

• that your spouse has committed adultery, and you find it intolerable to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has behaved in such a way that you cannot reasonably be expected to live with him or her (requires evidence)
• that your spouse has deserted you for at least two years (requires evidence)
• if your spouse agrees to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least three years (requires signature of spouse, in addition to DOS)
• if your spouse does not agree to the divorce, that you and your spouse have been separated for at least four years (requires DOS)

that your spouse has committed adultery, and you find it intolerable to live with him or her (requires evidence)<-- He had a gf when my baby was just born and he is the one who file for separation. In the deed of separation he requested that we are not allowed to interfere with each other's personal life. I have a bf and we've been together since my baby was bout 5 mths. So do i consider adultery? According to the lawyer said, we can have bf/gf( what they consider as personal life).

• that your spouse has deserted you for at least two years (requires evidence) <--if we have not seen each other neither he come to visit my son and he had not been paying maintenance fee plus he was under warrant arrest under the order of court. Can i use this as a reason?

 

[siling87]

For mine, combine of everyone! Totally a jerk!

- He had abuse me before as well, during my pregnancy: He lock me up in his house with no hp or phone. I had to call his neighbor for help by calling my family. He kick me on my tummy when we are in a chalet (pregnant), everyone in the chalet saw. I had make police report after my birth and filed for ppo but gave up half way.
- Had 2 gf behind my back during my pregnancy.
- MIA during my pregnancy till I was about to give birth.
- After my birth, he always called my house and threaten me. My mother had make records but the police said it doesn't help.


I really think I have same situation as huiling's sister, my ex is also the same like her. At first, he was trying to fight for my son's custody and said that he having a business outside and I won't be able to win him. He words are in and out. That y I went to family court and and claim for maintenance, not for the sake of money as I know his character too well. He is very stingy and selfish. He told the judge that he is jobless, he had to look after his mother etc. I am fine with all this as all I want is to prove that he is financially unstable to have the custody of my son. Keke.

Just wanna get my freedom asap. I m worried he might up to something bad again.

 

[Ting]

hope u ladies get it settled asap.
some men r just like to create trouble n make our lives difficult.
lucky my ex is not like tt... well, for now. cos he knows he cant provide for pin. so he wont snatch.
n he knows i will do anything to stop him....

 

[SunShine07]

It means that the girl must admit to it and you will have to file a sworn statement from her, or if you have witnesses who are not related to you....

If he's abusing you, you need at least medical reports. I would advice you to make a police report. If he causes a scene at your workplace or tries to harm you or your son, it'll just prove your case.....

Witness? can our friends be witness also? they all know, but will the court believe it? And this case it a year ago already...can still be used?

He used to hit me very hard, but i never make any police report....