I agree with some of the mummies here about just greeting your in laws, whether you feel like it a not. First of all, it's basic respect. Just like when you visit your friend's place, you will also greet their parents right and not just ignore them right? Furthermore, you are staying with them and when your baby is born, you will never know how much help you'll need from them whether they will be the main caregiver for your baby a not. I will say let's not compare your own family with your hubby's family cos everyone's upbringing is different and character too. You can't expect your in laws to behave like your own parents and vice versa. And your in laws lived longer than you, to them greeting is respect decades ago do you expect them to give in just because to you think greeting is not important? This is actually a very trivial small matter, and they are the ones who brought your husband to where he is today, I do think more or less they deserve a basic respect? Think in the long run if they are not longer in this world, do you want to feel guilty of not being respectful to them enough when they were alive? And how about your child, if your daughter or son in law don't greet you, you will have the impression that he/she doesn't have basic manners too! Think in their shoes as an elderly...
pissing off with the in laws
- Thread starter sgmel
- Start date
Dear all, thanks for the advices. I just had my monthly gynae check up last Monday and was told that I'm actually 2-3cm dilated. Told hubby about it and found an excuse to go back my own place to stay for the time being until confinement end. At least I have some peace of mind for these 1month plus. Hubby did called up MIL on the day itself to inform but her pattern come again this morning.. hubby had been staying with me at my place since monday. This morning,she called and whine to hubby again. I wonder what's wrong with her seriously. Already informed her that we will be staying her for the time being. Yet I Just don't understand Why she called and whine about this issue again. Even my mum also bth her, ask me why she kept calling everywhere repeating the same issue. Anyway, what would you mummy suggest if I give birth, she and fil visited me or if they don't. Most probably I don't think they will come to visit me. They have this mentality that I'm lying to them that I can actually give birth anytime! Super lame!
Missy10
Active Member
They missed their son OBVIOUSLY, your hubby their son afterall.... just make your hubby call hone report everyday lor, your hubby call everyday then they will not call to whine everyday....sgmel:793955 said:
Please put in effort to salvage the relationship, and not keep thinking they are in the wrong just because they talked too much
Maybe you will like to drop by at least a while back to your in laws place to show that you still care for them? I'm not sure if you are shotgun marriage as you mentioned you are married for 6 months but now 9 months pregnant. Assuming if it's true, could it be they cannot get used to their son "suddenly" got married therefore will overreact when their son suddenly leaves them with someone esle who is the daughter in law (you). Do try to drop by... Or at least make an effort to talk to them instead of completely shutting them off away. If you initiate to be nice to them, chances are they might not think you snatch their son and more willing to visit when baby's born. If you still think of them negatively towards them then i'm afraid that after baby's born things will get worser...
Joellejell
Member
Another way is try to get into their gd books.
Doesn't makes them like u more but makes your life easier living with them.
Some in laws just like their DIL to buy them stuff or bring them out.
Try & see how.
Since u married your hubby, u have to accept the kind of parents he has.
No point spoil your r/s over in laws issue.
Doesn't makes them like u more but makes your life easier living with them.
Some in laws just like their DIL to buy them stuff or bring them out.
Try & see how.
Since u married your hubby, u have to accept the kind of parents he has.
No point spoil your r/s over in laws issue.
Fisherman's Friend
Member
Sometimes, old pple are like kids. They want attention, they want pple to care about them more, to fuss over them more. Honestly, your case is not that bad already. There are a lot more worst cases than yours. So since they want you to greet just greet bah. For me, no matter what I do is never enough. Im still staying with my mil, been there for 5yrs!! She is the kind who likes to spin tales, telling pple what I had done when I hadn't. but thank god, everytime she did that, I always have witness to prove my innocence. So we had come to a point that I dun talk to her anymore. Just ignore. I tried to show more care and concern, but all I got back is more accusations. So I can only bite it all through and pray that my own hse come quick. If yours can be salvage, try to salvage, dun drag it too long. Your hubby will be in a very difficult position. i'm sure he loves u and ur child the same as he loves his parents. So, try to stand in his position and think how he will have felt. Anyway, all the best for your pregnancy!
As much as I wanted to create peace in the current situation. There she come again this morning. I was being told by my gynae that I will give birth anytime since 2weeks ago as I'm already 2-3cm dilated. Hence I decided tl go back to my own place to stay in case nobody is again home and hubby is out for work. I did called her and inform her about this before I go back. This morning, she called again. Saying I didn't repeat her and her husband etc. I seriouly don't know what she want! so pissed off, spoilt my Monday morning.
quincy1986
Active Member
hope u dont mind my ranting as well.
my mother in law talks to me like a maid. because to her own children and even her grandchildren, her requests will consist of the words, "can or not".
for me she will just educate me i have to do this do that. it is like how old people talk to maids. i know it is most likely me being sensitive but so far i am not used to the difference of treatment.
and just another case...well, old people like to dote on children a lot. my sil is very well off. but she is highly stingy to children. yesterday my mil just requested to my hubby, "no. 2 (my sil 2nd daughter, about 14 yrs old) wants to top up her hi-card. u settle for her and get the money from me if not enough."
my hubby is angry about this. he said this to my mil, "how could u teach such a big girl to just request money from an elderly like u??"
my mother in law talks to me like a maid. because to her own children and even her grandchildren, her requests will consist of the words, "can or not".
for me she will just educate me i have to do this do that. it is like how old people talk to maids. i know it is most likely me being sensitive but so far i am not used to the difference of treatment.
and just another case...well, old people like to dote on children a lot. my sil is very well off. but she is highly stingy to children. yesterday my mil just requested to my hubby, "no. 2 (my sil 2nd daughter, about 14 yrs old) wants to top up her hi-card. u settle for her and get the money from me if not enough."
my hubby is angry about this. he said this to my mil, "how could u teach such a big girl to just request money from an elderly like u??"