Please advise!

[pinkpluspinky]

Please advise!

My husband and I will be married for 3 years this May(2012). We have a daughter together who is turning 3 years old.

We have decided to file for divorce. He said that he go do all the filing. 1) do I have to engage my own lawyer or just wait for him to do everything?

We are staying with his parents and does not have any properties. I have been a SAHM since I was pregnant. No income for past 3 years. If we divorce, I will have to move back to my parents' place. In this case is there any chance I can get my daughter's care and control? My parents cannot help me to look after my daughter and I will eventually have to find a job. Whereas he can claim that his working hours are flexible and he got his retired parents and maid to look after our daughter.

In the meantime while I look for a job, can I claim alimony from him?

Thanks all!

 

[virginialadies]

U don't need to engage any lawyer unless u are fighting for ur child . Since he will settle it , let him do . Mostly kid will go wit mother unless he fight for it den u really need to look for a job to support ur kids . Judge will always let the kids follow the mother unless u don't want it .

 

[pinkpluspinky]

you dont't need to engage any lawyer unless you are fighting for your child . Since he will settle it , let him do . Mostly kid will go wit mother unless he fight for it then you really need to look for a job to support your kids . Judge will always let the kids follow the mother unless you dont't want it .

He did say he want our kid's care and control.

I do want the kid too but cos I am not working, I won't be able to support her and myself. If I manage to find a job, I will have to put her in full day child care, which means I gotta change her school and she gotta resettle again.

Will the judge give our kid to him since she doesn't have to change school, he got his parents, his working hours are flexible, they stay in a bigger house and is doing better than my family?

 

[virginialadies]

Well .. U can discuss wit him abt him . He will let his lawyer know too . And some day u still have to meet up wit his lawyer

Take care babe !

 

[malibu]

He did say he want our kid's care and control.

I do want the kid too but cos I am not working, I won't be able to support her and myself. If I manage to find a job, I will have to put her in full day child care, which means I gotta change her school and she gotta resettle again.

Will the judge give our kid to him since she doesn't have to change school, he got his parents, his working hours are flexible, they stay in a bigger house and is doing better than my family?

Although in most cases, the child's custody would be given to the mother. However, in some cases, if the father is able to prove that he is in a better position to provide for the child, the mother will lose custody if:

1) The divorce is due to unreconcilable differences and not of adulterous mean or infidelity,
2) The father's financial status overwhelms that of the mother (e.g. stay home mums)
3) The mother is unable to prove a stable source of income and shelter to provide for the child within the given period before the court's final decision. (Divorce case requires 3 years seperation unless the plaintiff can prove that the respondent has committed adultery)
4) The father is able to prove that he can provide a better environment for the child's development, if the mother has an ill reputed life style or, vice versa.

On the issue of the writ of divorce, I would suggest that you go along with him to iron out the details rather than letting him settle all the paper work.

This is to ensure that what has been listed are of equal fairness to both of you. The plaintiff usually gets the upper hand if the common lawyer is being engaged by him and if you let him initiate the divorce for both or you. A man whom wishes to divorce you no longer cared about your well-being. He is just another selfish person. Else, why would he want to initiate the divorce?

Since he has cited his interest in having custody of your child, you need to be represented to fight for the custody based on the details of his financial status and background as compared to yours. You may seek for legal aid if you are currently not working and have no source of income (applicable only for once).

In the event should you lose the custody of your child, you must and should at least secure an alimony for a desirable period and payout sum until you can find a job and support yourself. Bear in mind that you've wedded him, gave him the best part of your youth, bore him a child and had gone through hardship for at least a good nine months.

I do also feel that, having your child by your side and being able to watch her grow, develope, care for her and becoming a part of her life beats having to worry about putting her in a full day child care, busting your brain about her resettlement and such. Children these days adapt much more faster and easier than you think. A change of environment is actually good for them once in a while. All you have to worry about would be being diligent and having full commitment in spending time with her available free time. You no longer have a "my space" till your child is old enough to care for himself/herself.

No matter what, never let them end up having to defend for themselves at a very tender age (it happened to my elder brother and myself).

I hope everything will turn out well for you nevertheless.

Cheers,


Jameson - Husband of malibu.