Poll: Mum in law walking away with baby
- Thread starter cakies00
- Start date
nope my mil or mom will not do such thing. if they do. i will scold them irregardless if they are my elders! how can they just bring my kid away from me without informing me. they are wrong. i will not allow and will be very pissed 
and most probably i will punish them but not letting them see the grandchildren for a period of time i noe this is evil but they must understand that we are the parents and will get worried should anything wrong happen.
and most probably i will punish them but not letting them see the grandchildren for a period of time i noe this is evil but they must understand that we are the parents and will get worried should anything wrong happen.Kaykay2009
Member
Hi
No way! And also, my mom won't do such a thing also,or i'll also scold her. As for my mom-in-law, she is a really blur woman and we don't get along at al so if she does carry my gal even to her room, i will stand outside and watch her.
No way! And also, my mom won't do such a thing also,or i'll also scold her. As for my mom-in-law, she is a really blur woman and we don't get along at al so if she does carry my gal even to her room, i will stand outside and watch her.
quincy1986
Active Member
TS why did post this?you have an incident like that?
care to share?
because i want to learn something too.
care to share?
because i want to learn something too.
hey all thanks for your replies. I feel the same way as all of you actually but I am wondering if I am a control freak or paranoid. I don't think I am being demanding. I think its just being courteous to let the mommy know before walking away with the baby. Its something like when you want to go to the loo, you'll inform the people that you are sitting with that you will be going off instead of just disappearing without any notice.
I had that experience myself and I told my hubby to let my MIL know not to do that again. At least just inform me... I was frantic looking for my daughter in a busy foodcourt
I had that experience myself and I told my hubby to let my MIL know not to do that again. At least just inform me... I was frantic looking for my daughter in a busy foodcourt
my parents did this to me twice, especially my mum, she would carry her or push her stroller and soon she is out of my sight...i did warn them never to do that again and they are better but my in laws do this to me each time we visit or go out with them. From the first moment when i was breastfeeding in my room, my mother in law just came into my room and asked me 'oh, you are breastfeeding, and went to the cot picked my daughter up and walked out of the room'. When we are out, my baby is theirs, they 3 will take turns to carry her...and she is always out of my sight....
i hate them very much...they are always doing this to me...but i can't scold or shout at them as that will put my hubby in a difficult situation...but whenever i am with them, i am always upset.
Now, my baby is 1 year old and she is very close to them, especially my sister in law. She will always crawl to look for her and this made me very heart broken. I have even decided to quit so that my mother in law will not be looking after her and she will spend less time with her and my sister In law. I know i'm being selfish but it hurts me to see my daughter treating me transparent and only want attention from them.
i hate them very much...they are always doing this to me...but i can't scold or shout at them as that will put my hubby in a difficult situation...but whenever i am with them, i am always upset.
Now, my baby is 1 year old and she is very close to them, especially my sister in law. She will always crawl to look for her and this made me very heart broken. I have even decided to quit so that my mother in law will not be looking after her and she will spend less time with her and my sister In law. I know i'm being selfish but it hurts me to see my daughter treating me transparent and only want attention from them.
Hi ErinMummy, sorry to hear your story.. well i guess you need to tell your hb and get him to solve this issue.for me i have not met such issue. but if i did i will not respect them even if they are my elders. reason being i am the mom and i have the right to know where exactly they bring my child to and they should nv bring my child away from me without telling me.
Hi Asphere,
I have complained to my hubby many times...he only dare to tell his mother and his mother knows i'm not happy...but she is afraid of her husband and daughter, so she leave them to do what they like...
Main reason is also because my bb is the first grandchild on both sides..and everyone is trying to get her attention. My sister in law is in her early 40s and not married...my mil likes to bring my bb to her as well...so i think this is what made my bb used to looking for her...i tend to feel that my mil is letting my bb be treated like her daughter's bb....coz i think she gave up on her being married already...but it is very unfair to me...my sil decides everything...and can give my daughter eat things she feels is suitable for bb (including vanilla ice cream) and no one dares to say anything...i feel that whatever my daughter should or should not eat is decided by me, her mother ... i'm very depressed right now...and afraid that because of all this unhappiness, i will eventually separate with my hubby which i do not want this to happen...but all these are driving me crazy...
I have complained to my hubby many times...he only dare to tell his mother and his mother knows i'm not happy...but she is afraid of her husband and daughter, so she leave them to do what they like...
Main reason is also because my bb is the first grandchild on both sides..and everyone is trying to get her attention. My sister in law is in her early 40s and not married...my mil likes to bring my bb to her as well...so i think this is what made my bb used to looking for her...i tend to feel that my mil is letting my bb be treated like her daughter's bb....coz i think she gave up on her being married already...but it is very unfair to me...my sil decides everything...and can give my daughter eat things she feels is suitable for bb (including vanilla ice cream) and no one dares to say anything...i feel that whatever my daughter should or should not eat is decided by me, her mother ... i'm very depressed right now...and afraid that because of all this unhappiness, i will eventually separate with my hubby which i do not want this to happen...but all these are driving me crazy...
dun be sad ErinMummy, Sorry if my method is harsh but i suggest maybe you bring your ger to your parents side more and bring her out everyweekend to avoid facing your inlaw. in this case build up the relationship with your ger and let her know u are the mommy instead.but if ur sil is giving the ger food which you are not happy with, you must voice out. you cant just keep quiet. its your ger's health and u went through all the pain to give birth. you got the right to say something. like me when i do not allow my son to eat some food, i will just said out to either side to be firm that they should not give food which i do not approve to my son. there was once i actually scolded my dad for he try to feed my son egg when he was v young and i told him tat he is too young to be fed with egg and my son may be allegic to it and who is going to be responsible should there be anything happen.since then my dad dun dare to anyhow feed already. coz i told them straight if anyone trying to do things which i disapprove they will not get to see my son for sometime. i noe it is mean but i need to be firm in this issue. i cant afford to let my son fall sick or anything bad happen if i am not around .
My MIL carried my DS from his pram and left an empty pram behind while me and husband chatted with a friend. She was gone 5-10 mins into the conversation. We called her and no reply from her mobile more than 10 times. We looked for her for more than 1 hour in Suntec city. Imagine how big is Suntec city... It was also milk time for baby and I was v v upset and almost in tears that I lost hope looking .
Later, we spotted her in Carrefour with DS sitting on the trolley and shopping with ease. Urghh! Didn't she know that DS have to have milk?! We also found out she left her HP at HOME. My husband was so angry when he spotted her and stormed towards her and scolded her. I didn't follow so not to create any scene ( as I would have used very unkind words - I am a very quiet, low-key DIL by the way). My husband took DS and left. Sigh!
Yes, it happened to me and I will make sure that it will not happen again!
Later, we spotted her in Carrefour with DS sitting on the trolley and shopping with ease. Urghh! Didn't she know that DS have to have milk?! We also found out she left her HP at HOME. My husband was so angry when he spotted her and stormed towards her and scolded her. I didn't follow so not to create any scene ( as I would have used very unkind words - I am a very quiet, low-key DIL by the way). My husband took DS and left. Sigh!
Yes, it happened to me and I will make sure that it will not happen again!
tehsusu79
New Member
Hi Mummies,
Guess am not the only one who is experiencing this. My in-laws does it to me all the time. That is why I try to restrict the number of times we have to go out together by giving excuses e.g. clash with nap time, too tired, not feeling well, going out with other friends, raining so not going out, etc, etc.....
The lucky thing for me is that we live on our own however we have to bring DS back to in-law's plc twice a week. During the 3 hrs there, they will always find excuses to bring him out (w/o us following). This gets to be quite annoying as some times they over-shot feeding time. Many times I have showed them my black face and it's only a few weeks ago then they will automatically bring him back at least 20mins b4 feeding time. DS have this habit that if he tires out easily, he won't drink his bedtime milk & last time when they over-shot feeding time, they saw it firsthand how he cried & fusses w/o drinking his bedtime milk. & during that period my MIL still have the guts to comment to me that he lost weight!!! I almost wanted to tell her to use her common sense!
There was also this incident when we were at a wedding dinner & some relative of hers fed DS biscuits 30mins b4 milk feed while I was saying hello to other relatives (resulting him not wanting to drink). Imagine how pissed off I was! My face was super black throughout the wedding dinner. Two days later, I told her that in future, pls ask me first b4 feeding DS anything becoz you do not know the routine plus you also do not know how to ask what kind of biscuit she is feeding. What if it contains peanuts?! Guess what her reply is?! She paisey to refuse the relative!!! OMG!!! PAISEY is the worst thing u can say to me as an excuse!
All I can say is you gave birth to your child & as parent you have to be firm in how you want your child to be fed/looked after/raised, afterall we as mothers only want what's best for our babies.
Guess am not the only one who is experiencing this. My in-laws does it to me all the time. That is why I try to restrict the number of times we have to go out together by giving excuses e.g. clash with nap time, too tired, not feeling well, going out with other friends, raining so not going out, etc, etc.....
The lucky thing for me is that we live on our own however we have to bring DS back to in-law's plc twice a week. During the 3 hrs there, they will always find excuses to bring him out (w/o us following). This gets to be quite annoying as some times they over-shot feeding time. Many times I have showed them my black face and it's only a few weeks ago then they will automatically bring him back at least 20mins b4 feeding time. DS have this habit that if he tires out easily, he won't drink his bedtime milk & last time when they over-shot feeding time, they saw it firsthand how he cried & fusses w/o drinking his bedtime milk. & during that period my MIL still have the guts to comment to me that he lost weight!!! I almost wanted to tell her to use her common sense!
There was also this incident when we were at a wedding dinner & some relative of hers fed DS biscuits 30mins b4 milk feed while I was saying hello to other relatives (resulting him not wanting to drink). Imagine how pissed off I was! My face was super black throughout the wedding dinner. Two days later, I told her that in future, pls ask me first b4 feeding DS anything becoz you do not know the routine plus you also do not know how to ask what kind of biscuit she is feeding. What if it contains peanuts?! Guess what her reply is?! She paisey to refuse the relative!!! OMG!!! PAISEY is the worst thing u can say to me as an excuse!
All I can say is you gave birth to your child & as parent you have to be firm in how you want your child to be fed/looked after/raised, afterall we as mothers only want what's best for our babies.
I only have my mother in law around. Unfortunately in one way, I have to live with her as my husband is the only son and his sister is married. I dont't face the prob whereby she will take her out without me realising or asking. For that, she has at least some basic courtesy. BUT, when i am disciplining my 21mo dear daughter, she will come and 'yang oh' her and carry her away, treating me with total transperancy!!!!!! I can't be bothered much whether she treat me transparent or whatever if my dd's existence isn't here. But more so that Im teaching my dd and she comes 'barging' into our 'lesson'. No basic courtesy, no manners at all!!!! I had many clashes with her before and all these clashes comes forth after the birth of my dear daughter. She's a never-had-been-into-working-life person, she's still in her olden Msia village mentality.. I simply cant stand her!!!!!!!!
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Hi mummies..all of us are in the same predicament...very angry today...today is my dd's 1st birthday and we met up with my parents and my inlaws and sil...and throughout the whole dinner, sil carried my bb away without telling us...she brings her wherever she likes...even when we called her, we couldn't get her...when she came back with my dd. my dd was eating biscuits...sil just looked at us and told us seems that she likes to eat this baby biscuits...i am very pissed off with her today...and when my hubby asked his mum where is sister, and said why she bring our bb out when my parents are here...(my parents don't get to see my bb as often as them), my mil made a comment, everyone is eating here, what's wrong with her carrying your dd out? she can't eat anything here anyway.... i told my hubby, future birthdays only 3 of us...i do not want outsiders to be involved!
sorry for long post but extremely angry n depress
asphere, to make things worse, my dd cries whenever she walks away n she takes this chance to carry her until I couldn't take it, I held on to my dd n look away pretending I didn't c anything. what I was super angry, when our birthday complimentary firehouse ice cream from Swenson came. everyone was taking photo, she was busily testing each of the 4 scoop flavor to taste which is vanilla n then fed my dd! I m extremely pissed off then...is v pai kuan especially when my parents were there....I was fuming mad inside but still remained calm but face v obvious angry...I'm not selfish on my dd but if others dun respect me as her mother, I c no pt to let u c her often. I have already stop working since yest n intention was to bring her to mil 2 or 3 x a week coz she was helping me to take care of dd when i was working but I'm sure I did not make a wrong decision especially aft yest n they can c less of her. I know my mil will call my hb n scold..she always use his father not being able to c her as excuse.
asphere, to make things worse, my dd cries whenever she walks away n she takes this chance to carry her until I couldn't take it, I held on to my dd n look away pretending I didn't c anything. what I was super angry, when our birthday complimentary firehouse ice cream from Swenson came. everyone was taking photo, she was busily testing each of the 4 scoop flavor to taste which is vanilla n then fed my dd! I m extremely pissed off then...is v pai kuan especially when my parents were there....I was fuming mad inside but still remained calm but face v obvious angry...I'm not selfish on my dd but if others dun respect me as her mother, I c no pt to let u c her often. I have already stop working since yest n intention was to bring her to mil 2 or 3 x a week coz she was helping me to take care of dd when i was working but I'm sure I did not make a wrong decision especially aft yest n they can c less of her. I know my mil will call my hb n scold..she always use his father not being able to c her as excuse.
that is y nv stay with inlaw coz will make things worse. well since you are not working anymore. just conc on your ger and try to bring her to both grandparents house let her get used to both side n not just 1 side.. but if you plan to work then no choice put ur ger in childcare then..my son is going to playground full day starting next mth. so my mom can have a little break and work part time before my #2 is born in jan keke.. but playground also must choose properly. spend more time with your ger n ignore the sil.
coz will make things worse. well since you are not working anymore. just conc on your ger and try to bring her to both grandparents house let her get used to both side n not just 1 side.. but if you plan to work then no choice put ur ger in childcare then..my son is going to playground full day starting next mth. so my mom can have a little break and work part time before my #2 is born in jan keke.. but playground also must choose properly. spend more time with your ger n ignore the sil. thanks asphere. apparently everyone feels I'm too over possessive including my own parents n hb who felt that I have to learn to let go..they were there yest n feel nothing wrong w what my sil did...isn't it gd to have more people sayang my ger n helping me to take care of her while I eat...I can't seem to see it this way... wow..yr 2nd one coming...congrats.. I'm aso planning for 2nd one now...miz the feeling of having a bb in me haha