quarrel with mil... need to vent out

[Fisherman's Friend]

Fisherman's friend and peppermint, totally agreed. "less" educated doesn't mean no common sense. My mum is even less educated, but she got much more common sense than mil... Mil always emits out the negative energy... Really dislike that. I will be careful. Not to let her talk too much to my bb. Later, my bb grows up to be a pessimistic person.

Yes!! Dun let her be too close to your bb!! Better have a distance!!

 

[audreymania18]

Yup my in-laws (and the whole lot of them; grandparents, aunties, uncles - all unreasonable people) too think the same as your FIL. Like we DILs have no mother or father except them.

I dislike Chinese New Year. Because I HAVE to spend all 15 days (unless work day) with them, visits, play cards, play mahjong and lo hei. Luckily my family is small but we took second day of CNY to head back to my mum's place for gathering with my Aunty and cousins. Apparently they (in-laws) were unhappy whenever we told them that we are unable to join them. They will insist that we should at least go for dinner with them. Crazy people! Luckily my hubby understands and went with me to my mum's place. And I told my hubby, just because your aunties and uncles doesn't have in-laws, they have plenty of time to spend with your grandparents and stir shit for us, the next generation.

And best part is, when they assume that it was me who unable to bear any children, they tell me to ask my mum (who used to be a career woman, and not a home maker) if she knows of any soup or stuff that will solve 'my' problem.

When there's a problem, it is to 'go to my mum'. Credit goes to these idiots in-laws.

This year most of his cousins just got married and have their in-laws to visit, I see lesser gatherings. The uncles and aunties who used to make life difficult for me now shuts their mouth because their own children have to make time for their in-laws now. Hahah!

Coming back to fertility issues. They refuse to understand that it takes two for pregnancy to occur. They immediately pointed at me that it's my fault no matter how I politely told them that I am perfectly ok after my detailed checks. Hubby didn't want to tell them that he's the one with the problem. Anyhow, I respect his decision. And I have to bear all these insensitive remarks from his family members. It was tough on my ears but somehow this incident brought my relationship closer with my hubby - we became stronger and he was much more caring towards me and treats me like a family member. He seeks my opinion now even for attending a family gathering or not. But of course I will never make things difficult for him. I will always make him look good infront of them too. Believe me, we used to have fights because he feels that his family is more important than me, his wife.

I have tolerated for a long time, and am still tolerating my in-laws' nonsenses. I keep sane by talking/discussing about them to my mum, friends and forum.

I know that I am getting good at something and that is, a stronger and loving relationship between my hubby and I. It was a long painful process but it was worth it.

Hi Peppermint, i totally understand your situation, but as for me they will compare me with her daughters when we are preg asking whether is gal or boy?? WTH, is this very important???? Btw they are all in M'sia.. cant be bothered with them. comparing every single things. when i buy flat in singapore, they also buy in m'sia.. really senseless.. TOTALLY. *Shrugs*

 

[CDAH77]

Im also having great difficulties. My mum in law had pointed a knife at my face curse my family curse my ancestors all because she no see me giving her the kowtow treatment. I just went hell with my husband n because of her my marriage is damn rocky. She wants my husband to leave me because she feels she can get a better choice. I have a 11 month baby n when I miscarry my first she scolded me n call me to b barren will never give birth when
I finally gave birth she scold useless parent as I was asking my own mother to help me take care of my daughter when I go to work. She's so unreasonable n she even comment I go work is an excuse not to take care of my daughter. But my husband also never support me or my daughter. She even said she wants snatch my daughter away from me. I do angry I made a police report n from after confinement it's been 10 months I've been avoiding her n no even wanting to bring my daughter to see her. My husband had also mention of a divorce to because of this matter. Really siao witch. I dono what the hell in his her brain.

 

[Dreamrat]

Im also having great difficulties. My mum in law had pointed a knife at my face curse my family curse my ancestors all because she no see me giving her the kowtow treatment. I just went hell with my husband n because of her my marriage is damn rocky. She wants my husband to leave me because she feels she can get a better choice. I have a 11 month baby n when I miscarry my first she scolded me n call me to b barren will never give birth when
I finally gave birth she scold useless parent as I was asking my own mother to help me take care of my daughter when I go to work. She's so unreasonable n she even comment I go work is an excuse not to take care of my daughter. But my husband also never support me or my daughter. She even said she wants snatch my daughter away from me. I do angry I made a police report n from after confinement it's been 10 months I've been avoiding her n no even wanting to bring my daughter to see her. My husband had also mention of a divorce to because of this matter. Really siao witch. I dono what the hell in his her brain.

OMG, ur mil really siao! Mine case looks so small now...My mil told her relative that my mum is bullying her. That pissed me off big time. My mum only came to my flat to help out in confinement as mil knows little on it and not taking good care of me.

For ur case, think need to give in a bit so that ur hubby will see that u are giving in because of him and soon he will know his mum is not always rite.
E.g. Initially, my hubby asked me why I didn't let his mum to carry BB. I was blur when he said that. I did let her carry. Just that when BB is not crying, there is no need to carry, else it will spoil her. When i give in, Mil carries her a lot. Now bb is spoilt. He finally understands me and know his mistake.