Raising up a baby ....alone.

Loisatsau

Loisatsau

New Member
Hi there,

I went back to Malaysia for 6 months to delivery my baby (2 months before due + maternity leave). I had a beautiful image of a happy family living together and keen to return to Singapore with my small boy and start my new family life with my husband. However life sometimes does not turn out the way we planned. I'm going to be a single mom soon and currently stressed out and clueless on how I should bring up my baby alone here when I do not have any family members to rely on.

My baby is now 4 months old, living with my parents back in Malaysia, while I'm working full time in Singapore. My friend has suggested me to give up my HDB, and the wonderful job i have here; pack up and go back Malaysia to start my life there from zero. With that, my parents would be able to help me to take care of my son. He will get the love from his grandparents and I feel he would be growing up in a more 'balance' environment.

But giving up everything in Singapore and start from scratch in Malaysia is not easy for me either. I'm also thinking of bring him over SG when he reaches 2 y.o. But I will have to put him at the Childcare centre 7am-7pm while I go to work. Somehow I feel this would be tough for a single mom who needs to juggle work and baby at the same time. I do not know what to expect as this is my first and only son.

I'm stressed out as I have just received principle approval for my Singapore Citizenship. I would need to decide NOW if I should take up the citizenship and continue living here, or I should give up and return home.

Appreciate some advice from all of you, especially those who raise up their kid alone in Singapore !
 
edy

edy

Administrator
Staff member
Why not move your parents to Singapore when you already have everything setup nicely here?
 
Loisatsau

Loisatsau

New Member
Parents have other commitments and unable to move to SG for long term. So i would imagine I'll be alone to take care of my kid most of the time if i continue to stay here.

I really cannot imagine how life's like when a single mom needs to pick up her kid from childcare after work, and to prepare dinner, bath him, go through his homework, play time, bed time story telling, prepare breakfast, laundry, housekeeping, and etc.... How could a woman do that in a short evening??
 
R

Rubie

New Member
Hello Loisatau, what are you working as now? you own a HDB flat in Singapore?
If you want to talk or share your problem.. I am willing to listen.

Is never easy to be a single mother, esp your baby is not by your side.

do PM me to chat more. Maybe I can help u to work things out :we2Randy-git:
 
T

Tannie

Member
Instead of going to child care, u might want to consider looking for nanny. U can request the nanny to feed ur son dinner n bath him before bringing him home. Nanny is cheaper than some child care, no penalty if u r late but ur child might not get to learn what he will in child care.

Actually, if u wish to bring up ur son urselve, then u will have to be prepare to go thru the hardship. There r really woman who pick up their kids, bathe, feed, go thru hm work n put them to sleep etc. come to think of it, most woman do that with or without husband. The choice is urs... There is no easy way out for parenthood.
 
Loisatsau

Loisatsau

New Member
Thanks to those who has responded!

If I choose to stay here, the options would be either getting a maid, a nanny or to send him to childcare. Like Tannie said, prepare to go through the hardship, and no easy way out. I totally agree..

However, my other concern is if the child is getting the right care if his life is all about childcare teachers at school, and a single mother who has limited time to spend with him everyday? Wouldn't he be better growing up in the environment where he has grandparents to love him and has all the time to spend with him?
 
F

fe888

New Member
Hi,

I was in similar situation as yours. It was really hard in the beginning and things are still not that easy but they are much better now. I also made the decision to live in Singapore with my daughter. My mom came to Singapore and helps me to take care of my daughter when I am at work. Maid is very expensive and I could not find a good one; I tried two maids but they gave me headache instead of some helps. I can share with you some tips if you want.
I hope our decision is good and right. It is always the best for the child to live with his/her mother if he/she cannot have both parents.
Do contact me if you want. I have no relatives in Singapore, just like you.

Be strong and take care.
 
B

baby_sadako87

Member
stay strong; it's not easy though especially during the initial stage. i been through that...mum send her to childcare, i work, fetch her after work, feeding her, bathing her, playing with her etc...jia you:) if you need someone to talk to, can talk to me...
 
missyqiqi

missyqiqi

Member
I find that putting her in a child care will be better. I put my gal in infant care, so after work either me or my hubby will fetch her from school. I agree that time spend will be lesser with ur child. But imagine having a nanny or maid taking care of your baby alone, without any one around to supervise is not so good also, coz you wouldn't know what will happen.

And letting ur child face one to one with nanny or maid, they will tend to stick to nanny/maid more, not say totally, cause no matter what u r still the mummy. But for me I prefer her in school, at least she can get to play with other kids (sociable), and she sticks to me more coz some how they will know that, the place is a school is teachers teaching/taking care of them, but at home is only mommy.

But it will be much more tougher for u, coz if u hire a maid, at least there will be someone to do housework for u, or u can just hire part timer to clean ur house 1-2 times a day.

but still u try your best, work out your budget also.

All the best to you!!
 
C

ColorPencil

New Member
Hi, I am from Malaysia, working in Singapore and raising baby myself too.. I am currently looking for a place to stay but having a baby is not easy to get affordable one. If you would like to have a friend sharing the hard time and burden, you can probably rent a room to me and we can probably hire maid together. Our babies will have a friend to play with as well.
 
J

jenny88

New Member
wow i really feel for you, def no easy task to raise a baby on your own. All i can say is i hope you will have peace in whatever you do and the good Lord bless you :)
 
H

hpc

Member
ColorPencil said:
Hi, I am from Malaysia, working in Singapore and raising baby myself too.. I am currently looking for a place to stay but having a baby is not easy to get affordable one. If you would like to have a friend sharing the hard time and burden, you can probably rent a room to me and we can probably hire maid together. Our babies will have a friend to play with as well.
Click to expand...
Sharing a maid is said easy.When accidents happen who is going to responsible.Please come here with kids is already not easy,dont get urself into trouble just bcos cut cost,there are many hidden cost which u never think.
 
A

Asphere

Active Member
since u have a flat in singapore and going to get citizenship, i suggest u go through the hardship. everythng is tough at 1st but surely you can make it through. rent a room out to help the finance. also childcare or nanny will be a better choice.
 
M

MayflowerCare

New Member
I m a babysitter that provides evening care, an idea I came out with to help more ppl. After we arrange and meet up, try out a session and I will just be a phone call away, need work late? Need rest? I will go and pick ur child up from their sch and settle homework, dinner, and shower etc. then u just need to pick ur kid up and can go back sleep alr:) amk area price neg, mainly aim to help support more parents! Add me on fb to find out more: mayflower care.
 
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MayflowerCare

New Member
I have a client also single mom, supported her throughout and I really think that it's very meaningful to be a source of support. I will also look after for u on weekends/overnight if u need. Charges wise I dun really mind:) MSG:90466172, I can be ur listening ear/adviser too:)
 
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