Request for immediate help

[mag_huiling]

agree with hapimint too...

but not all foster parents are as good as the couple that are mentioned too.. but she really need to be responsible for ur actions and decisions!

 

[Ting]

hmmm i think stonston did mention b4 tt now adoption is quite strict n they do followup n checks on the foster parents.

hope she makes a right decision..

 

[hapimint]

Yes... They do follow up checks even during my time. I remember the officer will come to my place to visit all the children on a regular basis to ensure that my mother didn't torture them as a foster parent. My family have about 7 children at one time

Even when they are adopted out, the officer will visit the new home to ensure that the child is well taken care of.

I hope she consider her options well and be willing to sacrifice for her child.

 

[JoyBliss]

Yep, having established the fact that Doreen is responsible for her own actions, it is time to hear out her decision.
I hope she won't throw away the chance to make the decision for her and baby...
an informed decision that she has been carefully considered, not because her mom said so, or to please her mom.

Family forgiveness and help may not come automatically & initially. Sometimes, they have to be earned to some families.
But I believe blood run deep... Someday, they will.

Against odds & family objection, I'm glad I didnt take up abortion or adoption when he is my responsibility. I trust my love for him instead of leaving to unknowns that he will land in a family who may or may not give him the same love.
Though life is difficult, and not a A1 living envt, he is the reason i keep striving to give him my best.
And my family grows closer because of him. He brings joy and injects “life” to the otherwise cold family

Life is not a bed of roses… Choose wisely Doreen. It is a Life here

 

[masayuki]

Yes... They do follow up checks even during my time. I remember the officer will come to my place to visit all the children on a regular basis to ensure that my mother didn't torture them as a foster parent. My family have about 7 children at one time

Even when they are adopted out, the officer will visit the new home to ensure that the child is well taken care of.

I hope she consider her options well and be willing to sacrifice for her child.

I must agree that most, if not all the Child Protection Unit officers from MCYS are really good people....
You must see them at work to believe it....

 

[stupidyeye]

Well..had a small convo wid Doreen ytd nite...she claim that she wants the baby by her side..BUT..whatever she say to me..she will say:' my mum say my mum say'...infect to what I think..baby is hers..yes..is not an easy job if she really decide to keep baby by her side..but whatever she 'decides' now is all on her mum wills..and not her...

I myself is a single mum to be too...i noe all this is really really veri hard to go thru...w/o my parents..i reali cnt do it...I'm glad dat infect my mum ask me to kep baby at first...and i know that responsibility is dre...
I was even worse den Doreen situation in e past..but ever sinc ei noe i'm gg to be a mum..all thing have change....

I hope Doreen will change too...as in 'grow up'and face the probs....she is veri veri fear of her mum....
I agreed with her mums dat is nt easy to walk this path..is heart pain to see DD walk e same path...and they are quite worry of 'not ime to look aft bb, scared in future bb will blame dem'..scared no one will want Doreen and her bb in future
But this is not 'forever' rite???Is also must see JUST what Doreen WANT???She didn't even know what she really want..say wad also no use...rite???

 

[PinkDiamonds]

I dont't belong to any local organization, that's the problem....
Need to find female counsellors whom I know can be professional and won't push their or their organization's POV and values on her....

too bad i'm not in the best position. am only a psychologist in training lol

 

[Ting]

Well..had a small convo wid Doreen ytd nite...she claim that she wants the baby by her side..BUT..whatever she say to me..she will say:' my mum say my mum say'...infect to what I think..baby is hers..yes..is not an easy job if she really decide to keep baby by her side..but whatever she 'decides' now is all on her mum wills..and not her...

I myself is a single mum to be too...i know all this is really really veri hard to go thru...w/o my parents..i reali cnt do it...I'm glad dat infect my mum ask me to kep baby at first...and i know that responsibility is dre...
I was even worse then Doreen situation in e past..but ever sinc ei know i'm gg to be a mum..all thing have change....

I hope Doreen will change too...as in 'grow up'and face the probs....she is veri veri fear of her mum....
I agreed with her mums dat is not easy to walk this path..is heart pain to see dear daughter walk e same path...and they are quite worry of 'not ime to look after baby, scared in future baby will blame dem'..scared no one will want Doreen and her baby in future
But this is not 'forever' rite???Is also must see JUST what Doreen WANT???She didn't even know what she really want..say what also no use...rite???

what she wants, may not be what she can hv.
tts my POV.
yes, ultimately its her decision to choose what she wants to do with the baby. give it up or keep it by her side.
but now, since her mum is objecting, she shld keep in mind tt she is ALONE in this right now.
meaning, she cannot count on the fact tt her mum is gg to help her.
whether her mum will help her in the future anot, is not an issue, cos no obligation to.
she definately cant do it on her own, so if she wants her child, she needs to get her butt working now.
seek help & advice and plan ahead of what she needs n hv to do.
n YES, she needs a job right now..
when i was preg with pin, i was schling full time n working part time.
i dun see why she cant work if she is preg.

 

[JoyBliss]

uh..... very contradicting... If she is so fearful of her mom, why did she hid her preggie from her until a point it become dangerous to abort and her mom is "forced" to agree to having the baby? She should have aborted right away... So why the change of her mind to be the obedient daughter now??

If from the beginning or now, she has every intention for adoption, let her be brave to own it up and tell it to her unborn child. She owe her child an explanation, not push it to her mom. It is a painful decision but unavoidable if it has been well considered in the best interest of the child given the circumstance now.

If she really want the kid for herself, then she owe an explanation to her mom to convince her... what is her plan forward, how she will change. She has to expect mom may not support her decision (at least for the time being). She has to depend on her own strength and faith to carry her through. But take comfort that there are many single moms like her and there are some helps that may relief her SWEET burden slightly...

When she is having a good time, did she think of the consequence?? This is the BEST time to think Think THINK... plan Plan PLAN

Grow up, Doreen... If you are serious about having the kid for yourself, you should plan ahead now... you need $$$ for the baby stuff, the hospital bills, gynae etc... Can you work? Is there any financial aids you can benefit from? Where can you get pass down, free baby stuff from your relatives, cheap hospital package etc etc... Look around, ask around... Stand up for your unborn baby sweetheart... You are his/her mother ...*hugzz* With the love for the BB, Be Brave for him/her ok...

It is a life-time committment... Think wisely... Are you able to hold out till the end? Cannot half-way through, give up and throw the kid to your mom... Nonono... Your mom has a tough time being a single mom already, you cannot make her into a single grandma now.... You have to be dead-set when you claim You want the baby for yourself. Or else, in my POV,.. it may be better you opt for adoption sweetheart... Please consider what you really want.

Or if you are too lazy to think about what you really want, then it is also better you opt for adoption... you are already 15-16 weeks?? It is hard to decide what you really wnat, but you must force yourself to think hard now...
(my POV.. sorry to be harsh)

 

[mag_huiling]

In my POV, I dont think we as outsiders can comment much already... Cause she herself soesnt seems to have confirmed what she really wants, how she is going to do, and her determinations and actions are unseen...

She say wants the baby to be by her side, but cindy didnt even mention whether will she be looking for a job, gynae, hospital, baby's hand me downs, etc... Does she really wants the baby or not?!

Despite so many people telling her, leaving tags in her blog, forum, maybe other means too, but her reply is stiil about the same. Feel kinda disappointed.

And if she wants her baby, She have to be a ADULT herself, if not how can a kid take care of another kid? *SIGH*

 

[Ting]

yea i agree.
we've said what we need to.
give her suggestions n advices.
but yet, she still so undecisive.
everyday, the baby is growing in her, yet she seems to be tryin to stall for time..
given her immaturity, i would think the baby is much better off being adopted by a nice family.


i rest my case and wish the baby, all the best.

 

[mag_huiling]

i'll try to talk to her, since she says she knows me and i only have a vivid memory about her. no matter what, i'll try to talk her round and if she's still the same den let's just forget about it..

and like what ting said, wish the baby....

 

[JoyBliss]

Be it due to immaturity, fear, pride or whatsoever reason, hope she'll snap out of it soon and seek help. She is a hard nut to crack that needed all the extra patience. All the best, Mag in your talking to her

 

[pprincesslynn]

from my experience. i feel that she will end up aborting the child and go ahead wif her mums' wishes (not even sure whether isit true or jus her side of story to cover up) and then tell u 'there's nth i can do. my mum wanted. my mum said... my mum said.."

serious, ive come across abit too mani girls like her. who ended up gifing me all kind of craps saeing that their mum force dem to abort. that dey haf no choice. that dey wanted the child so much but cant keep. and many a times i offer help, gif them hotlines, advises and tell them wad dey can do and even offer to pass down clothings and such. yet after the abortion, bfs, flings, sex, all come back once again.

and another girl who claim that she will do all she can to bring the child up and everithing up ended up throw the responsibility over to her family/relatives once she haf finish confinement and carry on her messy life wif bfs, late nights and hardly even see her child.

well, we shall see hw it goes. but from my POV is, she will go ahead wif the abortion & she definitely not ready to be a mum. bcos if she is, who in the right mind would go and quit her job when she alreadi know she is pregnant and will haf problem lookin for other job in the future? and she cant seems to accept the fact tat she haf to gif up clubbing. even this 9months of pregnancy seems abit too long for her, i dun tink that she would even b able to take up a lifetime commitment.

since ive given birth, my life is wake-work-home-baby-sleep. i hardly go out. even my colleagues look at me in disbelief because im young in their eys, at age 21. so much less a 18yr old. who jus got the license to go clubbing right? definitely, it's not onli bcos she is 18yrs old. i know of a few who bcome a mum at 15,16 and they are doing a great job. but from her blog, from her post. it jus shows hw immature she is.

well. we shall see. but i feel the more we 'care' and talk to her abt it, the more she cant b bothered.

 

[Amulet]

this girl here gives me a feeling like she is still a child herself.. she doesn't stand up for herself and baby..

it would be better for everyone especially baby is the child is given up for adoption ba..

looking at her blog, she loves smoking and tattoo? wat kind of role model would she make?

 

[mag_huiling]

this girl here gives me a feeling like she is still a child herself.. she doesn't stand up for herself and baby..

it would be better for everyone especially baby is the child is given up for adoption ..

looking at her blog, she loves smoking and tattoo? what kind of role model would she make?

Yes.. I did mention that too.. How can she take care of a kid when she herself if a kid.. And she doesnt even want others help!

So everyone here, we can stop providing help.. Just let her carry her baby to full terms and let bb call other people 'mummy'...

 

[rinababy]

Yes.. I did mention that too.. How can she take care of a kid when she herself if a kid.. And she doesnt even want others help!

So everyone here, we can stop providing help.. Just let her carry her baby to full terms and let baby call other people 'mummy'...

yup.. same sentiments. i pity her baby.