Scolding

[justmint]

How do you scold your kids?
do you use stupid? useless? lazy....etc?
I find it very cruel to scold them that..it'll hurt their self esteem...

How do you educate your kids from eating junk food, sweets & unhealthy stuffs??

Cos while having lunch with my colleagues, they told me they use realistic way...e.g when they want to eat sweets, they'll show patients who are diabatic...when they eat junk food only, they'll tell them about their very sick relative...stuffs like that..do you?

 

[LoVeS]

Juz scold them say cannot say BAD BOY but wont say stopid or useless. The more u scold stopid the more stopid they bcome.

My bb not up to age eating sweets etc etc so nv tink of the educate part yet.

 

[vion]

I dun call dem stupid or useless but lazy yes. Will tell dem sometimes when I tink tt they were juz lazy to do things n not tt they couldn't handle it.

As for sweets n junk food, in my opinion, I will not totally keep them away from these. An acceptable amt is allowed on top of their regular meals. If they skipped their meals it simply means no titbits for dem. However, I tend to say no when they asked for titbits cos I kn tt dh will sure gv.

 

[Ting]

hmmm, haha, i very bad mummy leh. maybe now pin don understand me la. but sumtimes she roll n roll herself off the bed or do sumting then hurt herself i will say " orh bee good lor. tel u dont do still do it. u ben dan ah?" haha, but jokingly la.

but in my opinion, i wont use harsh words on her when she starts to understand me. lols.
i think i will give her tidbits de la. cos he rmummy is a food junkie oso. LOLS.

 

[Angelmum]

How do you scold your kids?
do you use stupid? useless? lazy....etc?
I find it very cruel to scold them that..it'll hurt their self esteem...

How do you educate your kids from eating junk food, sweets & unhealthy stuffs??

cant say our kid stupid, idiot or useless. My son like to say I'm stupid or say what I did was 'lame' .... watch too much Kids Central thus bad influence. Bad son!!

I often say he's lazy, very lazy and never open eyes/ears.

My son eat sweets behind my back. I didnt discover straight away only accidently found out cos he always leave the wrappers behind. Eg he will eat up all the sweets up leave the proof. My memory no gd, if he destroys all evidence den I wont find out. Dont to say he's 'honest' or the s word. I usually let him indulge in a bit of sweet when outside. He loves junks food like fast food, especially fries.

 

[jedamum]

yes i scold.
no i don't degrade.
i can be quite critical, and usually goes like this...
- don't dream (when he dilly dally on his work)
- are you happy now? (when he defys orders/instructions)

usually when i raise my voice, my elder one is already in tears.

as for junk food, we have a cupboard stock up with sweets, choc and titbits accessible to my boy 24/7 and yet it is hardly touched. we set down quite a few ground rules and my boy followed it...
- no sweets/snacks before mealtime
- no sweets/snacks when sick
- no sweets/snacks after /8pm
- no sweets/snacks without permission

as for unhealthy stuff like fast food, although we do patronise Macdonald weekly, we cut down on his intake of fries and no softdrinks. my boy is pretty weight and health conscious coz we reminded him repeatedly of how it feels like to be sick when he just recovered from his illness. sharing information from the News/Newspapers helps too.

 

[justmint]

I have this plan to, set some rules...but I scare I am the one breaking it then he'll not take it seriously...hahahaha
Or do you set it on kids only?

yes i scold.
no i don't degrade.
i can be quite critical, and usually goes like this...
- don't dream (when he dilly dally on his work)
- are you happy now? (when he defys orders/instructions)

usually when i raise my voice, my elder one is already in tears.

as for junk food, we have a cupboard stock up with sweets, choc and titbits accessible to my boy 24/7 and yet it is hardly touched. we set down quite a few ground rules and my boy followed it...
- no sweets/snacks before mealtime
- no sweets/snacks when sick
- no sweets/snacks after /8pm
- no sweets/snacks without permission

as for unhealthy stuff like fast food, although we do patronise Macdonald weekly, we cut down on his intake of fries and no softdrinks. my boy is pretty weight and health conscious coz we reminded him repeatedly of how it feels like to be sick when he just recovered from his illness. sharing information from the News/Newspapers helps too.

 

[jedamum]

I have this plan to, set some rules...but I scare I am the one breaking it then he'll not take it seriously...hahahaha
Or do you set it on kids only?

of course must lead by example. kids usually absorb their parents behaviour more than what their parents preach. but the part on 'eat sweets only with permission' only applies to kids la. :tlaugh:

 

[Friend]

Hi mummies,

I do not scold them those words as I believe parents are their role models, they will think that those words are ok since my mummy said that to me when I'm small. Monkey see Monkey do. Retribution will come...hahaha

For sweets/tibits - only 1 a day with permission. I tends to say "NO" most of the time provided they are good. But this has to be trained since when they are 2 YOS, if not, it is very hard to reverse this practice.


For junk foods - occasionally Macdonald, for rewards of good behaviour. I always tell my kids... they have to make me happy to get rewards...hehehe.

I do not share with them the diabetes or etc. But, I will use newspaper cutting to explain to them, but not during the instances when they asked for sweets/tibits/junk food.

 

[Pwiincess]

yes i scold.
no i don't degrade.
i can be quite critical, and usually goes like this...
- don't dream (when he dilly dally on his work)
- are you happy now? (when he defys orders/instructions)

usually when i raise my voice, my elder one is already in tears.

as for junk food, we have a cupboard stock up with sweets, choc and titbits accessible to my boy 24/7 and yet it is hardly touched. we set down quite a few ground rules and my boy followed it...
- no sweets/snacks before mealtime
- no sweets/snacks when sick
- no sweets/snacks after /8pm
- no sweets/snacks without permission

as for unhealthy stuff like fast food, although we do patronise Macdonald weekly, we cut down on his intake of fries and no softdrinks. my boy is pretty weight and health conscious coz we reminded him repeatedly of how it feels like to be sick when he just recovered from his illness. sharing information from the News/Newspapers helps too.

Jedamum, I think your way is a very advisable way!

 

[jedamum]

For junk foods - occasionally Macdonald, for rewards of good behaviour. I always tell my kids... they have to make me happy to get rewards...hehehe.

.

i read somewhere that it is not advisable to link junk food to rewards....also not to make visiting fast food, a special occasion. that will attract them to patronise fast food outlets even more.
the only 'reward food' that i give my ds1 nowadays is his didi's Gerber Strawberry and Apple stars.....yummy and nutritious. :tlaugh:

 

[rjj]

yes i scold.
no i don't degrade.
i can be quite critical, and usually goes like this...
- don't dream (when he dilly dally on his work)
- are you happy now? (when he defys orders/instructions)

usually when i raise my voice, my elder one is already in tears.

as for junk food, we have a cupboard stock up with sweets, choc and titbits accessible to my boy 24/7 and yet it is hardly touched. we set down quite a few ground rules and my boy followed it...
- no sweets/snacks before mealtime
- no sweets/snacks when sick
- no sweets/snacks after /8pm
- no sweets/snacks without permission

as for unhealthy stuff like fast food, although we do patronise Macdonald weekly, we cut down on his intake of fries and no softdrinks. my boy is pretty weight and health conscious coz we reminded him repeatedly of how it feels like to be sick when he just recovered from his illness. sharing information from the News/Newspapers helps too.

We dun degrade our boys too.... but we always remind them, there are no stupid boys only lazy ones.... but being too lazy for too long, will make you stupid eventually.... they know now, but still they will find execuses to be lazy... haiz....

Like Jedamum, we have cupboard loads of junks... but they are hardly touched.... we do not have so many rules, just 1.... none to be touched without permission .... so we always know when or where it's gone....

 

[leey]

No scolding now;I think it is not good.
We need to talk and teach by father and mother.

 

[jedamum]

No scolding now;I think it is not good.
We need to talk and teach by father and mother.

read somewhere that kids below 2 yrs of age will not learn from scolding. kids at that age need consistent and firm repeated reinforcement eg say no repeatedly if they want to touch the tv remote, or remove the remote completely from their sight.
for kids older than that, i believe that adequate scolding (with explanation) is needed. cos some kids just treat their parents 'advices' or 'warnings' or 'teaching' whichever you call it, as 'ear side wind'.

 

[justmint]

May I know at what age do you start to discipline your child?
6mths? 1yr old?

my bb has 6mths old now..very active, touching this & that...moving around when I try to change him...

I started to use the word NO on him or firm tone...

he kinda understand when I refuse to let him touch that thing, i'll take his hand away & say no. After a few repeating he knows the can't touch it.

Do you start so soon too?

 

[Sweetalk]

Eventually you will find scolding won't works anymore.
Cane is still my best choice as i just bring it out, the room will be fill with quietness