Seeking some opinions from fellow forummers...

[daddy70]

your house mop once a month??

Mop around once a month, but sweep every day.

It's my mother doing it but she has a heart condition / pacemaker and my father is close to 83. I will help out when I can, which is not often enough since I am also looking for a job and having other commitments (study and online business).

Again, thanks!

 

[xiaodaisy]

Thanks to all your valuable replies. I will take them all into consideration.

Trust me, it's a matter of love here - we have a new life in our hands, no doubt... but I still feel she should not upset a familial balance. After all, she is still living with me and my parents for now. Some things in life is give and take, and my wife has given some in return (after all the clashes she has agreed that hangers should only be washed at the end of the week).

I understand that I should also give, and give I shall in return.

I will learn to lighten up... and because I am very transparent, I will show her your great replies from this thread. You have all equally been, in one way or another, great friends to us.

Thank you!

maybe to lighten ur parents and ur wife in housework , u might wanna consider hire part time maid?

ur parents dont have to do so often since ur mom is weak in body & ur dad is old alrdy

and u didnt want ur wife to be too hard to come back after work and have to worry abt housework =)

i agree its a give and take thing , somehow if u feel uncomfortable , maybe u can let ur wife know why and slowly explain to her

guess she's just much more worried abt baby's health concern ..

cheers =)

 

[simon73]

Just wanted to seek some of your opinions...

Here's a couple of requests that my wife has been making over the past five months since the birth of my baby girl. Although some of these has been highlighted before in the past, she has suddenly become very vocal about it because of my daughter.

• After my daughter has bathed, the in-laws must bathe first before they are allowed to touch the baby; especially after the in-laws have gone out and just arrived home.
• Baby bottles must not be washed in our bathroom sink because the sink is a place used for brushing teeth, spitting, etc.
• When mother-in-law is frying food, the (newly installed) kitchen door must be closed to prevent oil from floating into the hall and drifting to baby's room.
• Wife doesn't like my pet cat... and absolutely hates the smell of the cat poo. Hence, I must clean the cat litter tray everyday (no problem there for me)... but, then there is this - wife doesn't like to go to the hall, and practically avoids the chairs there. Later found out that it is the cat hair she is absolutely dreadful of.
• Wife does not like to walk in the hall unless she has her slippers on... she says she doesn't like the dirty feeling on her legs (probably because of her fear of cat hair and also because of the dirty feeling of the floor) - we tend to mop the house once a month, but her family mops (as far as I know) at least twice a week.
• Clothes must also be taken down from kitchen and babies clothes must be hung on her own bamboo poles.

When talking about all these points with her, she will constantly get defensive and say it is her standard of cleanliness in her family and that my family is more dirty by nature.

What do you think?

bro, this is very common to many new mummy.
It is a long journey ahead that need alot of patience , endurance and a big heard

 

[cn211279]

Good for you, and I am glad you managed it. I find my wife taking too much time with her chores... I only care for her and want her to take it easy, don't do things so frequently... learn to relax, don't repeatedly wash some things, or keep on folding clothes in neat little stacks in the cupboard, or freak out whenever there are ants crawling all over the baby's room, or turn around to check if she locked the door (at least once or twice) before going out.

I think my wife's a perfectionist in that sense. And, it's all this little things that add up that is driving me crazy... is she mysophobic... or am I the nut case here? Is there a word for a person who is on the more dirty side - which she accuses me of being...

By the way, my daughter is five months old (exactly) today.

Other than talking with her, what should I do? Is there a support group here where she can confide her problems with friends. In my opinions, she hasn't been socializing much recently.

Hmm,... actually I don't think that my husband will agree with you that I "managed" it during that stage cos I nagged my husband about his cleanliness and lack of help in the housekeeping area. That time I remembered that he was a bit like you, worried that I'm stressing myself unnecessarily over cleanliness (or the lack of it) and that I'm going overboard. I remember waking several time in the night because I was still breastfeeding and my son is a fussy baby. And during the times that my son sleeps, instead of resting which my husband would prefer me to do, I would immediately rush to clean stuff... We even quarreled a few times because of that.
I think all first time mummies will always be a bit paranoid (me included, actually my husband says that I'm still paranoid now... haha), it helped that my husband understand that for that period of time my son is my priority and as a first time mummy we tend to worry a bit more. He tries to help out as much as he can which I really appreciate. I know that he didn't think that it was necessary but he conceded to my wishes and that helps. Over time, as I become more confident in myself as a mum I'm more relaxed and is able to step back and see if my "worries" are really unfounded. My husband is always teasing me about being a paranoia and that touch of light humor at appropriate times sometimes make me rethink if I'm really just being paranoid.

 

[missymelody]

i think its normal, my house has 2 cats, when my baby girl was born, we were staying with my mum during confinement, BOTH the cats are not ALLOWED to come into the room or go near her whenever she is, usually my mum locked them in the kitchen, when cooking especially frying, we will close the kitchen door, i think its very normal, 1 to prevent smell from coming out to the living room and make the whole house smelly and oily. i also don't wash my milk bottle in the sink, agree that its for us to brush teeth and spitting, i think its just some of our own personal thinking and feeling thinking its not for milk bottle. baby tend to be very weak initially.

bathing. i think its a good habit. u know after my confinement i moved over, less than a week, my mil came back straight away touch my girl. u know she works in a place where she expose to many people daily. smokers/non smokers/. and she caught a flu, pass to my baby and she had to admit to the hospital for 2 nights cos she vomited milk the entire day !

walking about the house. maybe she feels sticky after that on the bed. maybe u can put a floor mat outside your bed room and inside your bed room. so after she step, she can clean?

for baby and my clothes, hang same bamboo ok la. wash separately lor. i think as time goes on, she won't be so fussy and picky over minor stuffs already! it takes time!


i remember my hubby at his place is very messy person. reach home remove his jeans just throw on the floor, his mum doesn't bother also. but when he came and stay my place for that 1 year plus, he gotten use to my rules.. remove jeans put into the basin.. until now he also do that.. i think all habit!!

 

[Amulet]

Mop around once a month, but sweep every day.

It's my mother doing it but she has a heart condition / pacemaker and my father is close to 83. I will help out when I can, which is not often enough since I am also looking for a job and having other commitments (study and online business).

Again, thanks!

hmm... wat about ur wife? i'm sure she can help out mopping the floor once a day? won't take more than 30mins..

 

[missymelody]

hmm... wat about ur wife? i'm sure she can help out mopping the floor once a day? won't take more than 30mins..

OR BUY MAGIC CLEANER!! hahaha. now got scotch brite de also.. so she can clean all the cats fur up daily! thats what i did.. but i remember i used to mop daily at my MIL place.. kena treated like maid.. got cook=must mop. everyday cook = everyday mop. fml.. lucky no stay there le

 

[apollo]

My family also mop the floor quite frequently while my MIL only does it once in awhile as she is pretty busy on work. So everytime when we go bk to my inlaws' place, I will come bk with my eczema flaring up. But we are opposite, my hub is more concern on this. I feel that I cannot force my MIL to clean the hse as clean as my parents'. And I could see that she alrdy put in effort to clean up the hse as much as she could whenever we are going up despite being busy (she has to drop her work for a few hrs to clean up the hse). And my hub did not think that her own parents hse is not very clean until he stays with my family and starts to get use to my parents' clean and neat house.

You might think that your wife is being abnormal but I can tell you, it is all becos your are brought up is different families and environments. No one is right/wrong in this issue. Maybe try to mop the hse abit more frequent since there is a cat and now a baby? As for the baby part. Nope, I will not request anyone to bath b4 carrying my baby, BUT will get them to wash their hands, which I assume is the very common and standard thing to do.

 

[ast0212]

It's an individual thing I reckon, but you and your wife have to come into an agreement somewhere in the middle.

After reading your post I feel like a dirty person hahaha. To me I don't bother keeping things too clean and it gets my son used to germs to build up his immune system. That's my theory anyway. There have been studies conducted which showed that babies exposed to pets and dirt get sick less often, have stronger hearts and have a lower risk of asthma and allergies. Just search up babies and dirt and there are bound to be articles. I've heard of inquisitive babies putting dirt, grasshoppers, or anything they can get their grubby hands on into their mouths...and they survive :001_302:

 

[momi]

Actually I do not think your wife is abnormal, it's merely a formed-habit as a result of having grown up in a clean environment. Her requests are quite normal too. Reason for my opinion is because I also grew up in a very 'clean-freak' environment so I can't really get use to my SO's family house.

I grew up in a house where floors are swept and mopped every single day, each of our toilets washed every day, all our bedrooms are tidied every day and every item in the house is arranged almost like a showroom (no exaggeration), clothes washed and ironed every day. My mum is an extremely organised and neat person who can't tolerate untidiness or dirtiness, that's why. So when I go over to my SO's place sometimes, I also can't stand it. His family very easy-going: floors not mopped for days/weeks (they wear slippers around the house), clothes not washed/ironed for days, toilets washed weekly, beds not made. I usually can't stand it so I tend to do most of the housework when I am there.

So I think your wife is like me, she just isn't used to your house's habits. Nothing wrong with her I think.

 

[shopaholic]

I think your wife's habits sound reasonable to me. It's just a matter of striking a balance between both of you.

I'm not used to having pets at home, so I can resonate with your wife's behaviour. I'm not a total clean freak but I like my home mopped properly at least once a week with a mid-week magic clean wipe. Vacuum is on alternate days. Once a month mopping sounds too little to me! Instead of getting your parents to help with such heavy duty chores since they are getting on in age, perhaps you can consider those once-a-week cleaning services where a helper comes to vacuum and mop your house amongst other duties. It will allow family members to spend quality time together while ensuring the house is clean.

 

[noelsmum]

My husband's family is extremely clean to the point that I think my MIL has OCD. But thank God, we don't live together. She has chided me several times that I'm not a very clean person. I usually brush it off. But I do admit that I'm really bad at cleaning and tidying up. So to avoid problems between husband and me or when in laws visit, we hired a helper. Maybe you could do that. If there's too much cleaning or housework to do, hire someone to help you out. For a first time mum, it can be tiring both physically and mentally.

 

[posh]

My husband's family is extremely clean to the point that I think my MIL has OCD. But thank God, we don't live together. She has chided me several times that I'm not a very clean person. I usually brush it off. But I do admit that I'm really bad at cleaning and tidying up. So to avoid problems between husband and me or when in laws visit, we hired a helper. Maybe you could do that. If there's too much cleaning or housework to do, hire someone to help you out. For a first time mum, it can be tiring both physically and mentally.

Ya, agreed especially if you are not good in cleaning and tidying up. It would be best to pay some $, engaged a part time cleaner like what I did, once every week to help clean my whole house. Then I have more time with family and my own stuff.

 

[pillowhugger01]

Anyway the child care is not as clean either..