Separation Anxiety at Playschool

[smurferoos]

Hi,

Just sent my daughter to play school, she enjoys the school alot, but she needs me to be beside her always! For the first 2 days she was ok, but subsequently, she started crying and wanting me. She is so traumatised that she is less cheerful and more nervous! Any advice on how to make playschool transition less stressful and less crying?

Thanx in advance.

 

[veronica]

I think it's quite common. It's a phase both parents and kids have to go through.

I sent my son to CC when he was 18mths. He was ok for 1st 2 weeks and after that started to cry when he saw us leave. It took him slightly less than 1 month to understand that he has to go CC.

Now, after 8mths, sometimes he refused to go home !! At times when he has foul mood, he will still cry when he sees us leave.

I don't have any remedy as usually when he cries, I leave him with the teacher to pacify :001_302:

 

[smurferoos]

Thanx Veronica,

I think I am very weak, when I see her crying like that, it really breaks my heart, and she even ask me to love her! i think she feels that by sending her to school, she thought i don't love her anymore...sigh...so we are taking it slow, but going with her every saturday, once she is ok with the place, I will start daily play school again.

 

[veronica]

No prob.

I know it's heartpain to see them cry. But if you don't let go, you will never succeed.

Most school allows parents to stay with the kid for the first few days. But I know some sch don't allow. They want you to leave the kid there and go immediately. The teachers will pacify the crying kids.

Don't worry, your ger will outgrow the fear soon. Who knows she won't want to go home !!

 

[jopeck]

As parents, we need to learn to let go... sometimes the kid responds to our fears/anxieties and cries. I've learnt to just say 'bye' and leave. Don't peep in the windows, don't hang around. The longer you do, the more they'll cry. Usually its just for 'show'.

When they're home, especially the first month or so, I'll spend extra times with them where I'll tell them I love them and they are special. I'll give lots of extra cuddles, hugs, kisses and tickles.

Now, my girl (altho' she still tears when I leave sometimes) prefers to go to school than to go to her grandparents house. Its really about giving them security in their hearts and minds and LETTING GO!

 

[smurferoos]

Thanx Thanx for all the advice. I am now pregnant with my second child due in early May, so maybe it is harder for her to be separated from me. She is extremely sticky to me now.

Yeah i know i have to let go. I am still bringing her to school every sat, once she is more secure with the place I will leave her there! i guess they will cry no matter what. I am trying to prime myself to let go too.

 

[veronica]

Thanx Thanx for all the advice. I am now pregnant with my second child due in early May, so maybe it is harder for her to be separated from me. She is extremely sticky to me now.

Yeah i know i have to let go. I am still bringing her to school every sat, once she is more secure with the place I will leave her there! i guess they will cry no matter what. I am trying to prime myself to let go too.

You will la, dun worry....

 

[smurferoos]

Now super sian, cos today when i was about to leave for work, she cried non stop, so i think i have to quit earlier than expected cos my mum can't handle her anymore...sigh...

 

[simplyjo]

When my 2nd girl started Pre-Nursery last year, we followed her for 1 day & she was fine. On 2nd day, we decided to let her take the school bus on her own and we followed separately by other transport. She was ok until she saw me in school, then she started to cry.

On the 3rd day, we did not even follow her and she did not even realise we were not there and came home telling us she had fun!

When she started Nursery this year, we decided not to follow her at all and let her take the school bus to/fro on her own on the first 3 days and she was just so happy to go back to school.

The teachers have ways to soothe them & get them involved with activities, so we just have to let go & let them grow...

 

[Sweetalk]

Hve to be patient sometime. Tell her while she at home and bring her to playground to mix with those kids.
Stay far away and observe her and you will see her mixing with them soon.
It will works!

 

[janjul88]

Hi
Know it is tough for the elder girl to start preschool while the second one is on the way. This is probably why she is reacting more as she is feeling insecure. One good way to prepare her mentally, talking and explaining to her that you love her and school is fine and all the teachers and friends love her too. Always focus on the positive and asks encouraging questions instead of "Did you cry in school?", ask "Did you have fun in school today?" Give encouraging comments on their work, "Wow! your drawing is very pretty." "Fantastic! you did your work well!" When children receive encouragement, they are more motivated to perform and behave better. They will forget about their anxiety and warm up to the school environment and teachers very soon. So do not worry, just assure her that you love her and she will be fine soon. Take care