Should I quit my job to be a SAHM?
- Thread starter pyvio
- Start date
That depends really, it's a dilemma for every working mom. Do you need that extra financial boost from your side? Can you stay home and literally just watch over kids? We have seen moms who choose to stay home but cannot bear that idea and go back to work.
Who's taking care of your kids now that you are working? With you wanting to look over your child is all great, because most working mom end up spending less time with their children. Try look for another way round though, maybe you can balance out work and time with your child. Make a time table maybe.
Who's taking care of your kids now that you are working? With you wanting to look over your child is all great, because most working mom end up spending less time with their children. Try look for another way round though, maybe you can balance out work and time with your child. Make a time table maybe.
jlhojennifer
New Member
Have you discussed with your spouse?
jlhojennifer
New Member
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PinkDiamonds
Well-Known Member
Re: Making new friends
I'm a WAHM. If you want to make be a SAHM, are you willing to make some sacrifices?
Eg: spending power will be lower, you cannot afford to eat out often, you will have to be home most of the time, even if you need to go out you may have to bring your child along, less social interaction with other adults, etc. There is always a way to work around everything.
Like Ekari, I've also interacted with SAHMs who sound like they are better off being out in the working world. In spending most of your time with your child, you tend to lose touch of the world outside. Thus you'll need to make time out to catch up with what's going on around you. I've also seen mothers feeling resentful for staying at home with their kids, so do also plan out some time for yourself to unwind or indulge in your hobbies.
On a final note, ask yourself this, "What is stopping me from being a SAHM?"
I'm a WAHM. If you want to make be a SAHM, are you willing to make some sacrifices?
Eg: spending power will be lower, you cannot afford to eat out often, you will have to be home most of the time, even if you need to go out you may have to bring your child along, less social interaction with other adults, etc. There is always a way to work around everything.
Like Ekari, I've also interacted with SAHMs who sound like they are better off being out in the working world. In spending most of your time with your child, you tend to lose touch of the world outside. Thus you'll need to make time out to catch up with what's going on around you. I've also seen mothers feeling resentful for staying at home with their kids, so do also plan out some time for yourself to unwind or indulge in your hobbies.
On a final note, ask yourself this, "What is stopping me from being a SAHM?"
from a working mum, I hesitated too bcos of my high income but finally decided to quit to b a sahm. I had my mil to take care of my dd but feels bcos of work, I spend lesser time w her n she is thus closer to my mil..which I cannot accept. its true I have to cut down on restaurants n spend most time w my dd at home. can any sahm share w me their daily schedules at home n outside, especially so that I'm able to bond w my dd with interesting n fun activities.
I'm a SAHM. I used to have high paying job as well. But being a SAHM gives me more time to interact with my three year old boy. I send and fetch him from pre-school, I teach him English and Mandarin at home. I play with him and 'teach' him how to be mischievious.. ha..ha.. his daddy cannot take it. =P But I do miss my job sometimes especially the extra income part (when he is taking his nap and I'm free to let my mind wander). But being a SAHM doesn't mean you are free to do whatever you like, basically I'm busy teaching, playing and interacting with him that I only have the time to go online or do some reading when he is taking his nap or when daddy is around.. like now. =P
Most of the time when I fetch him from pre-school, I could hear some of his classmates or schoolmates calling their maid "Mama" and not aunty. They will be packed with extra classes because their parents are not at home to teach them (one of the grandma who fetch her grandson told me about it). Their extra classes would be packed with Mandarin class (which costs more than $1000 a month) and violin classes. I would definitely say that my bond with my son is stronger. I witness a working mum who couldn't stop her son from crying in class until her maid stepped in.
If your income permits, I think being a SAHM is worth everything. Your child depends on you for only a short period of time. After that, when the bond is formed and when they grow older and more independent, we can think of going back to the workforce. Of course the salary will be much much lower than those who did not sacrifice their job. But the bond with your children will be forever. =)
Most of the time when I fetch him from pre-school, I could hear some of his classmates or schoolmates calling their maid "Mama" and not aunty. They will be packed with extra classes because their parents are not at home to teach them (one of the grandma who fetch her grandson told me about it). Their extra classes would be packed with Mandarin class (which costs more than $1000 a month) and violin classes. I would definitely say that my bond with my son is stronger. I witness a working mum who couldn't stop her son from crying in class until her maid stepped in.
If your income permits, I think being a SAHM is worth everything. Your child depends on you for only a short period of time. After that, when the bond is formed and when they grow older and more independent, we can think of going back to the workforce. Of course the salary will be much much lower than those who did not sacrifice their job. But the bond with your children will be forever. =)
I have not much of 'me' time when my son was younger. But now when he is in pre-school:
7.30am-8.00am Breakfast for dear son and daddy
8.00am-9.00am Send dear son and daddy to school and office
9.00am-10.00am Grocery shopping
10.00am-11.00am Drive back home, tell maid what to do with grocery, shower and drive back to school
11.00am-12.00pm Wait for dear son outside his class (I'm very kiasu coz if I arrive late, I will not be able to find a parking lot and dear son will be whining if he is hungry.
12.00pm-1.15pm dear son will have his lunch (This include driving time as well)
1.15pm-1.45pm Shower dear son
1.45pm-3.15pm dear son having a nap then I will be instructing maid what to prepare for dinner. Maid is only in-charge of cutting vegetables and all cleaning.
3.15pm-3.45pm Try to wake him up. Otherwise he cannot sleep at night
3.45pm-4.00pm Snack time
4.00pm-5.00pm Teach him English and Mandarin, sometimes bring him to the park to play for a while
5.00pm-6.15pm Prepare and cook dinner. dear son will be watching his favourite TV programme. My maid dont't do the cooking coz my hubby and dear son are very fussy about food.
6.15pm-7.00pm Dinner (sometimes feeding dear son and still need to monitor him to make sure he is not choking on food. This age still needs to be careful)
7.00pm-7.45pm Fetch hubby from work. Sometimes dear son tag along, sometimes he wants to stay at home to watch TV. Maid will watch over him if he stays home and we will call every 15mins to check on him
7.45pm-8.00pm Shower dear son and prep him for bedtime
8.00pm-9.30pm Watch a little TV, story telling, nursery ryhmes and some singing
9.30pm-10.00pm Milk and winding down time, sleep
When he was younger, I will sing and read to him and make sure he is well advance in his milestones that are noted in the health booklet from hospital. i.e. make sure he can stack cubes, recognise colours etc.. (basically everything in the health booklet can make you very busy) =)
Hope this helps
hi Eliza, thanks so much for sharing. I totally agree with u that we have only a short period of time with our child so should spend more time to grow the bond w them. I have to do everything tho coz no maid and hubby does not allow pt maid either to help me in cleaning n washing. I dun have a driving licence aso...considering if I should now so I can drive my hubby n daughter around...
You should definitely learn how to drive. I started learning when my son was born and I have to 'fight' with others to get weekend slots coz don't trust maid to take care of infant..ha..ha.. pple think that you are SAHM will have loads of time on week days so have to 'argue' with your instructor or book online on the day they release the driving date. I always book at 12AM coz I will be the first to get a slot..ha..ha..
As for maid, before this maid comes, I was without a maid for 2 months coz couldn't find a good helper. Then my time will be like:
5.30am-5.45am Clean vege and meat and boil soup for the day (We have soup every day)
5.45am-6.00am Clean DS milk bottles (yes, he is still have his early morning milk)
6.00am-6.45am Sweep, mop floor and clean other 2 rooms
6.45am-7.15am If can finish by 6.45am, can rest a while if not, 7.00am quick shower and quick breakfast
7.15am-7.30am Wake DH and DS to brush teeth and shower
7.30am-9.00am Same as posted above
9.00am-11.00am Super fast grocery shop and rush home to sweep, mop and clean Masterbed room and two toilets plus drawer tops and prep lunch.
11.00am-1.45pm Same as posted above
1.45pm-3.15pm I'm the maid of the day, prep dinner ingredients, iron clothes, check his bag for any information slips from teacher, rest a little. prob 15mins
3.15pm-5.00pm Same as posted above
5.00pm-10.00pm Basically same as above, except when fetching DH, I will have to drag DS along
10.00pm-11.30pm Wipe living room, dining room, kitchen, wash everything that's being use to cook dinner, except I will use paper plate for our own meals so I don't have to wash them. When I say wipe everything, I really mean all sofas, drawers, the toys he played for the day and mat, microwave, oven etc.. (I'm a cleanliness freak!!) Wash clothes and hang them dry (we have a pulley)
By the time I finished at around 11.30pm, I'm pooped and fell asleep like a baby. I have about 6hrs of sleep a day. But before this, I have 'training' sessions. I used to work and study at the same time and I only slept 4-6hours a day, that's why I am able to cope with lesser sleep. Do not push yourself if you've not done it before. Take it slowly first.
Cheers!
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Yep. No joke. I follow my schedule daily coz my son can get infected quite easily if someone in his school gets sick. You are not the first one to say that this is a killing schedule. My sister says that I'm crazy..ha..ha.. =D
My sister don't fetch or send her husband, she cooks only 1 dish for a meal and she only mops the floor twice a week. That's sort of schedule for her if you are the happy go lucky kind of person. =)
I use water mixed with a little detol for daily cleaning for my leather sofa and baby lotion to wipe my leather sofa once a month to freshen the look of the leather (my leather is brown), rather than the expensive type of liquid specially for sofa and I use vaccum cleaner to suck in between the sofa weekly.
Hope that helps.
decollette
New Member
I think considering whether you can be sahm or not depends on your personality too.. some people just cant bear to stay home all day without adult interaction and repetitive tasks,, its not an easy job. But eventually u will find joy in having time with your kids, it all depends on how you look at it.. and also your guilt level at being away esp if he/she is still young.
Another important thing is of cos finances. Would your family be comfortable with one source of income? Is your hubby supportive? Sometimes our maternal instincts kick in and all we want is to stay home and be there for our child, without thinking if hubby can afford it, or that we assume they should. However, if your hubby feels resentful or stressful that he is the sole breadwinner and thinks all you do is shake leg at home, then there is bound for conflicts to arise.
Another important thing is of cos finances. Would your family be comfortable with one source of income? Is your hubby supportive? Sometimes our maternal instincts kick in and all we want is to stay home and be there for our child, without thinking if hubby can afford it, or that we assume they should. However, if your hubby feels resentful or stressful that he is the sole breadwinner and thinks all you do is shake leg at home, then there is bound for conflicts to arise.
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