Stabbing one another?

[Mummyxin]

Hi Mummies,

I really don't know who to believe?

I am a sahm,don't have any savings.Hubby is the sole breadwinner.Anything need to buy,he will give me money.
He asked me not to work and stay at home to look after our kids.

Few weeks ago, Hubby offended his SIL and Mother.

Then few days ago, they (SIL and Hubby's Mother) asked me out. So called "women's gathering" I felt so uneasy.....

SIL then suddenly told me to save money for rainy days,asked me to check his bills and credit cards statment which i usually don't check. Cuz at the beginning, he did told me to have trust and be transparent.

Then came his Mother. Asked me not to be so stupid to believe all the words he say.... she told me her son life is full of "tao hua" nothing can be done one...

They also mention some stuffs which what i heard from my Hubby and them is totally differernt story.

They also mention that how come i does not want to work? I told them that is her own son asked me not to work not i don't want to work! They then say is my Hubby told them that i am the one don't want to work.

I really don't know who to believe?

 

[Mandy Wong]

If you think your husband is not this kind of person who tell lies, then you should believe your own husband. I find it kind of weird as in how come your mil will like that badmouth his own son..

 

[Mummyxin]

Hi Mandy,

Cuz my hubby offended his auntie(MIL's sister). MIL and her sister very close to each other.
Hubby say some stuffs about his auntie then MIL heard it, not happy.

 

[ryanchew]

Unless something happen which contradict to what your hubby says, you should believe in him. Thats the basis of a successful marriage.

 

[ihmdweh]

If your hubby hasn't done anything to make you lose trust in him, i guess it is better if you ignore your in-laws... the moment you start checking bills..etc more conflicts will arise.

 

[noelsmum]

Actually, I would check his bills just in case. BTW, do you have any savings at all? Have you thought, what would really happen if it's true? My dad has always instilled in us (my sisters and me) to work and have some savings for the just in case. Just in case, man have affair, die, fall sick, have an accident. These things do happen. My mum was a stay at home mum when my dad met with an accident and he couldn't work for more than 1 year. We were at the mercy of our relatives. For that year, we relied on donations on aunties and uncles. That taught my dad a huge lesson and in turn he make sure that his daughters had education and is able to provide for themselves.

 

[lem0nlime]

how are your relations with MIL and SIL? kinda of weird they would come complain to you.

but i still believe in any case shld always trust and believe your husband 1st. if you really feel uneasy maybe can haf a talk with him? find out what did he do to offend MIL and SIL and maybe just let them noe a bit what you have been hearing?

 

[Sleepybear]

Have you noticed any strange behaviour or changes in your husband? If not, I would take what your mother in law and sister in law said with a pinch of salt..

But, I feel that you should have some savings of your own for any emergency... Do you have any joint savings with your husband?

 

[Ting]

it makes no sense why your MIL wanna sabotage your relationship with your husb... her own son leh... go with your instincts.. u shld know your husb well enough n his character.. when it comes to such things, everyone will speak in their own defence.. so u hv to choose who u want to believe.. but once u start doubting your husb and check on him... more problems will arise. but on the other hand, no matter how gd ur husb is to u, it is always wise to hv some personal savings.

 

[Mandy Wong]

Ya i agree with Ting. No matter how loving you and your husband are, it is always wise to have personal savings just in case. As for me, if im in this situation, i will trust my husband.

 

[missymelody]

Ii used to encounter things like u! My mil and fil divorce, cos fil alot Tao hua.. Then she remarry to this yt youger than her and very uai one, scare of her.. Then my hubby still working for his dad as driver so working hrs can be very long.. That time I jus move over, jus learning to handle bb alone already very stress.. Keep frustrated to hubby.. She will tell me say watch yr hubby hor, his dad Tao hua he oso more and more like his dad.. Hubby gives me 2/3 his pay, then mil will say hubby late home maybe not working is go out dun let me know. This and that, beginning I will say hubby and question him, and keep quarrel lor. Is like keep on quarrel argue fight. Lol. Until smth happen to me and mil then I ig ore her and jus before I move out I realise actually she trying to discord our r/s cos she's jealous that I am a stay home mum and get what I wan. Hub treat me like a queen. Now me and hub nv stay tgt cos waiting for hse, he sleeps in his lorry but still I trust him. Every now and then he comes find me and bb bring us out, eat, whenever he goes he will call me when he free, msg me his location using whatsapp. Although sometimes still will suspect cos he lie to me before but end up he confess before I question more.. But I feel that husband and wife must got mutual trust. Don't suspect here and there if not you xinku hubby oso xinku..