Starting over after broken hearted

[GKmum]

Hi,
posted before sometime back 2 years ago. My husband had a fling with in a china KTV hostess.
I have forgiven him and we agree to start all over again. Now we behave as normal, like nothing has happen before. Especially in front of the kids.
However, tears will still flow whenever I recall the incident. It still cuts me like a knife.
I think the feelings are just not the same anymore. The responsibility is there to hold on the family. Love between us is not so important now.

I don't think I can ever recover. Its like a timebomb, dono when I can explode. Sometimes, I would get so stress up with the kids and work that I want to leave this place.

Nobody knows about this, I can't tell anyone.

 

[fioncess]

For mi i cant accept 3rd party. i told my hubby b4 we gt married if i caught him with any affair or fling or watever i will leave him with no hesitation. even if we have a child. So he know it very well cos i know we women now have a strong stand regards financial or children. But im not asking u to leave him... but have a good tok with him n let him know tt it still bother u. i believe in this way u will feel better...

 

[Ting]

ever thought of seeking help from a marriage counsellor?
GKmum, since u decided to forgive him, then i strongly feel that u should move on n stop dwelling on the past.
of cos, it is easy said by me, but if u keep holding on, u will not find peace for yourself.
and how long can u put on a strong front in front of your kids?
if u keep dwelling n torturing yourself with the past, one fine day u'll just break down.
have a heart to heart talk with your hubby, let him know how u truly feel.
has he changed for the better? is he trying to make amends to you n your kids?
if so, why not give him a chance, n at the same time, give yourself a chance?

take some time, sit down, think abt it.
do u still want to save this marriage? i believe so, or u wouldn't hv forgave him right?
it takes time for emotional wounds to heal. but since u hv decided to move on from here then stop thinking of the past, take some effort to salvage this marriage, it takes 2 hands to clap.
if u keep on holdin on to tt incident, even if your DH wanna make amendments, its also difficult for him.
take this with an open heart, an open mind.seek help if u need to, nth to be ashame of. speak to a friend or a family member.
i believe u r strong enuf to get thru this n be happy.


rmb, to err is human, to forgive is divine.
JMHO.
take care.

 

[GKmum]

Hi,

He's not the type that want to have a heart to heart talk. Usually he will just keep quiet. I have tried wrote a letter to him before about my feelings, doubts of our future. After reading, he just keep quiet. I think he don't know wat to do or say.

I have seen a marriage counsellor last year. Didn't help much.

Don't understand why man do tat. They have a happy family, and on my part try to maintain my image and looks. This incident really woke me up from my happily every after dream.

 

[Spiralng]

Hi,
posted before sometime back 2 years ago. My husband had a fling with in a china KTV hostess.
I have forgiven him and we agree to start all over again. Now we behave as normal, like nothing has happen before. Especially in front of the kids.
However, tears will still flow whenever I recall the incident. It still cuts me like a knife.
I think the feelings are just not the same anymore. The responsibility is there to hold on the family. Love between us is not so important now.

I dont't think I can ever recover. Its like a timebomb, dono when I can explode. Sometimes, I would get so stress up with the kids and work that I want to leave this place.

Nobody knows about this, I can't tell anyone.

I am in exactly same situation like you before...in the end i choose to forgive. By forgiving, we worked hard to build our relationship back by spending quality time together...and i never brought up the affair incident again. There are times when i hv my doubts...but haiz...I guess as long as he is still loving to me and my kids, I chose to close one eye.

 

[EforEileen]

Ting is right. Since you forgive him, then you shouldn't stress yourself abt the past.
If both of you are really willing to start all over again, then do it.
At least he never gave up you and kids for the china girl.

My ex hb are similar. But he had flings. I always forgive him. But when he got another ger preggy, that was it. I filed for divorce...