Stressed! how do you term separation? divorce or stay?

[IcyTaz]

been staying differently from my hub since i was preg. now baby 19mths old and have been staying separately 2 years plus. had huge arguement that lead to this so called separation.
haven been pondering about divorce i'm been raising up my son solely and did obtain a maintance order of $250 from him for baby every mth. but he doest transfer to me on times. complained once and leave it.
he's been wanting to patch back with me n baby but he has bad temper.
when he's unhappy he scolds me vulgarities and even hurled my parents.
in short he did nothing as a husband and a father and yet demand a lot. he even took all my money just before i gave birth been paying off his debts past one year.
if i were to file a divorce base on separation does it valids? becoz in the term of staying apart i did allow him to see baby and had dinner.
been struggling a lot whether to divorce. as a mother i would like my son to have a perfect family. but as a woman i can't stay with such a man. a man who wont give me future. no one around me ever ask me to patch with him. all i hear was voices to divorce.
and it's odd, sg laws only allows married couples to divorce after 3 years.
i look back to the path i've took and it takes me so long to decide.
i wasted 2 yrs time thinking this man might change, just becoz the law says 3yrs n i waited.
i've gave umpteens times of chances that he's not worth giving...
having myself being humilated for so long...
recently been thinking of handing my boy to him so that we can break off totally...
i wonder how i survive through it.

 

[mikki1980]

been staying differently from my hub since i was preg. now baby 19mths old and have been staying separately 2 years plus. had huge arguement that lead to this so called separation.
have not been pondering about divorce i'm been raising up my son solely and did obtain a maintance order of $250 from him for baby every month. but he doest transfer to me on times. complained once and leave it.
he's been wanting to patch back with me n baby but he has bad temper.
when he's unhappy he scolds me vulgarities and even hurled my parents.
in short he did nothing as a husband and a father and yet demand a lot. he even took all my money just before i gave birth been paying off his debts past one year.
if i were to file a divorce base on separation does it valids? becoz in the term of staying apart i did allow him to see baby and had dinner.
been struggling a lot whether to divorce. as a mother i would like my son to have a perfect family. but as a woman i can't stay with such a man. a man who wont give me future. no one around me ever ask me to patch with him. all i hear was voices to divorce.
and it's odd, sg laws only allows married couples to divorce after 3 years.
i look back to the path i've took and it takes me so long to decide.
i wasted 2 yrs time thinking this man might change, just becoz the law says 3yrs n i waited.
i've gave umpteens times of chances that he's not worth giving...
having myself being humilated for so long...
recently been thinking of handing my boy to him so that we can break off totally...
i wonder how i survive through it.

why u want to give up your baby?

 

[IcyTaz]

he's been using baby as an excuse to meet up...
too stressful looking after baby and cope with work. then still have to worry abt money... = (

 

[Septemberain]

he's been using baby as an excuse to meet up...
too stressful looking after baby and cope with work. then still have to worry abt money... = (

We r usually the losers in the end. Time also not on our side, how many beautiful years do we have? Giving a man 1-2 years to change is more than enough. We just have to give ourselves an ultimatum one day.
Having loved someone and with all the surrounding pressures, not easy to let go. Its better that we put extra effort to help the man before we call it a day. Get friends, relatives, councillors to speak to him . As long as he's still willing to give feedback to them of his progress, there is hope for you to wait. If not, stop wasting time. Poor thing our babies got caught between the crossfires.... no choice, just take up the courage to walk on...you are not alone.

 

[IcyTaz]

Thanks...

my parents spoke to him, asking him to let go. but he refused.
he's the extreme type either he have you if not he'll destroy..
he delibrately don't give me maintence so that i would call him to chase that's y i stopped after the 3rd time.
he won divorce me. where to find idiot that gives him every single cents still allow him to rant vulgarities.
if he don't file then he wouldn't need to pay for the divorce fees. haix end up if i wanna divorce i'll have to fork up that few thousands...
so reluctant to spend thousands on such stuff rather buy gd stuff for baby...