To keep or change? Pls advise...

[jaybaobei]

I have a pair of 2yrs 3mths old twins. now expecting with #3.

all along i have been doing all this tasks (bath, sterilize milk btl, make FM, make prune/ribena drink in their sippy cup,cut their nails) without entrusting to my maid cos she is very blur & dishonest kind meaning if she happens to see my boy/girl fall down or knock their head, she will keep mute. i even explained to her that i need to know how they fall/knock so that i can monitor their bruises/wounds. not to scold her. but she still keep mute when they got bruises.
there was few occasions when i tell her to look after them & im in kitchen, suddenly my boy/girl cried & i rushed to them. i saw her carrying my girl/boy and i asked her what happens. she just say "nothing" or "i dont't know". i was so pissed off cos she was with them & how could she not know anything.

last nite at my dad house, she yelled at me in front of my dad & eldest sis's maid. both maids were so shocked, asking how can a maid yelled at her mdm. i told them already immune to her madness. what pissed me off was she raised her voice & lied in front of me thinking im a nerd not knowing what happens. last 2 wks she told my dad maid that i might be pregnant cos never saw me use/throw pad & have morning sickness. but last nite she yelled at me saying if my dad maid never tell her, she will never know that im pregnant. she was the KPO one to tell others but now she pointed her fingers at me. i have not consult gynac yet. my intention was to tell her that i need to hand over to her cos im pregnant (after consultation) but she yelled at me first. she said my dad maid know that im pregnant. reason being my dad & eldest sister told their respective maid that they must assist me when im at my dad house (to lighten my load). tats how they came to know that & not me who tell them personally.

all along my gastric is not that good. will tend to produce gas if have late meal. so that time i do not know that im pregnant & thought maybe is gastric flu. so that time i tell my maid that my gastric not so good so try not to cook too much for my share. last nite she yelled at me (in front of both maids) saying actually im pregnant & not gastric flu. i was so mad cos in the 1st place i really clueless about my nauseous (thought is gastric flu) & even i found out that im pregnant, do i have to clarify/explain to her? can't i have my privacy?

btw, she always like to argue back whenever i pointed her mistakes. but last nite she was too much cos she raised her voice & pointed at me. that time we are in master bedroom. even my sisters in kitchen also can hear her yelling.

my sister advised to change since now im still in early stage and can afford to teach the new maid. my sis said my maid was very rude to talk back & yelled at me. even she have any grudges, she should wait until we reach home & settle and not yelled at my dad house.
but all my family members & the 2 maids are not surprised about my maid yelling cos all along she tends to have abit mental case. even the 2 maids also hardly talk to her. i even asked why they dont't talk to her, they said my maid seem abit weird. so last nite incident was not very surprising to them.

i need advise to keep her (close 2 eyes) or change new one?

will she yell at me again?

only god knows...

 

[Edwinie]

is your maid from philippines? they tend to be more outspoken.

the maid with my family (before i marry) is with us for 10 over years. as years pass, she becomes more arrogant, but we can still bear with it. she knows how to do everything, from marketing to cooking, cleaning the house, basically don't really need to supervise her much. just that she has her own thinking of doing things. although she has some attitude, we can still trust her.

but from your experience, you need to do so many things when it can be done by your maid! i think better to change. just train a new one. since you can't trust her and she can't do much things, it's not much of a loss.

plus the screaming at you... you pay her wages and she still do that.. not nice to live with someone who has the potential to disrupt your peace..

 

[jaybaobei]

she is fm indonesia aged 38yrs old. tt is why despite her numerous black face & arrogant attitude but i still keep her as she is with me for about 2 & 1/2 yrs. same as yours, as she works long with me so she is familiar with house works but one thing different fm yours is my maid need supervision cos she is extremely blur kind. she can remember this but forget that. can remember that but forget this. there are few occasions tt she forgot to close my fridge door, cooking gas, lights (sleeping time) & etc.... im always the one to supervise & remind her this & that...so maybe she become very rely on me as im always her backup when she made mistakes (repeated kind).

there are also few occasions when we hv several arguments & made me lose my appetite & sleep....

is your maid from philippines? they tend to be more outspoken.

the maid with my family (before i marry) is with us for 10 over years. as years pass, she becomes more arrogant, but we can still bear with it. she knows how to do everything, from marketing to cooking, cleaning the house, basically dont't really need to supervise her much. just that she has her own thinking of doing things. although she has some attitude, we can still trust her.

but from your experience, you need to do so many things when it can be done by your maid! i think better to change. just train a new one. since you can't trust her and she can't do much things, it's not much of a loss.

plus the screaming at you... you pay her wages and she still do that.. not nice to live with someone who has the potential to disrupt your peace..

 

[PinkDiamonds]

To relieve your stress you may want to change a maid, especially since now you are preggy where your moods can be unstable and you need to look out for your physical & emotional health. I think there is still some time before the arrival of your #3 to train a new one which will hopefully be better.

If you have to hire a maid and still need to supervise her on the most basic things like gas, lights, door, etc, then you might as well do everything on your own right?

You are a SAHM right? Have you considered hiring a PT help instead of a FT maid?

 

[diymummy]

If I were you, I would have changed her immediately.

Skills and household chores can teach. Attitude, cannot teach.

 

[jaybaobei]

sad to say tt i hv to check the fridge door, lights, windows & main door before sleep every nite. there are few times tt she forgot to off the toilet light & on fm nite till morning (heart pain $$ PUB bill), forgot to close the living rm windows & freezer door. so now i hv additional task to do every nite before bedtime.

i m a stay at home mum....how to hire PT helper?

To relieve your stress you may want to change a maid, especially since now you are preggy where your moods can be unstable and you need to look out for your physical & emotional health. I think there is still some time before the arrival of your #3 to train a new one which will hopefully be better.

If you have to hire a maid and still need to supervise her on the most basic things like gas, lights, door, etc, then you might as well do everything on your own right?

You are a stay at home mum right? Have you considered hiring a PT help instead of a FT maid?

 

[Edwinie]

sad to say tt i hv to check the fridge door, lights, windows & main door before sleep every nite. there are few times tt she forgot to off the toilet light & on fm nite till morning (heart pain $$ PUB bill), forgot to close the living rm windows & freezer door. so now i hv additional task to do every nite before bedtime.

i m a stay at home mum....how to hire PT helper?

i think most PT helper do housework like cleaning of the house and maybe laundry, depending how many hours you want them to work and how often you want them to come. you can go through agencies or you can go by word of mouth.

the responsibilities of a PT helper is very little. not sure whether they will meet your needs though.

 

[jaybaobei]

u said the same thing as my hubby, attitude cannot teach/change.
initially thought give her chance but never expect her attitude got worsen.
daring enuf to yell at me at my dad hse.

my hubby said should hv change her right away the moment she talked back to us.
but it's me who is soft hearted to give chance.

leopard never change it spots.

If I were you, I would have changed her immediately.

Skills and household chores can teach. Attitude, cannot teach.

 

[clearjade]

Sounds quite terrible if your maid can yell at you like that, especially when you are pregnant and not feeling well. She sounds a bit 'unstable'.

If you want to change maid and get a new one (i.e. not a transfer maid), would advise you do it soon. There seems to be a severe lack of fresh maids from anywhere and our current agent told us we would need to wait up to 2 months for a new maid.

With the previous agent, they could get in new maids from Indonesia, but the maids kept failing the English test so we waited about 3-4 months and got fed up so changed agency.

 

[jaybaobei]

she is really abit unstable & oso the reason why my dad & eldest sister maids always avoid her. i will argue with her whenever she doesnt admit her repeated mistakes. up till now she is with me for almost 2.5yrs & still made repeated mistakes.

anyway i hv already informed my agent to source for me. now waiting for new biodatas.

Sounds quite terrible if your maid can yell at you like that, especially when you are pregnant and not feeling well. She sounds a bit 'unstable'.

If you want to change maid and get a new one (i.e. not a transfer maid), would advise you do it soon. There seems to be a severe lack of fresh maids from anywhere and our current agent told us we would need to wait up to 2 months for a new maid.

With the previous agent, they could get in new maids from Indonesia, but the maids kept failing the English test so we waited about 3-4 months and got fed up so changed agency.

 

[Edwinie]

she is really abit unstable & oso the reason why my dad & eldest sister maids always avoid her. i will argue with her whenever she doesnt admit her repeated mistakes. up till now she is with me for almost 2.5yrs & still made repeated mistakes.

anyway i hv already informed my agent to source for me. now waiting for new biodatas.

all the best! good maids are hard to find. hope you can get one that won't give you problems. =)

 

[dolphin38]

hi jaybaobei...I serously tink u shd go change her...get another one... y u did not go back to ur agent rgds to this?? Tink its safer to talk to ur agency since u having another child soon....its dangerous....

 

[jaybaobei]

hi jaybaobei...I serously tink u shd go change her...get another one... y u did not go back to ur agent rgds to this?? Tink its safer to talk to ur agency since u having another child soon....its dangerous....

all along my maid hv been giving many many problems...my agent will advised my to change whenever i called them.
there was once the agent personally came to my hse & talked to the maid. she oso talked back to agent. the agent even told my maid tt if nw she hv 10 maids, my maid is the worst among all.