Unhappiness

[Fisherman's Friend]

Hi to all mummies out there, guess almost everyone has problems with their MIL. Mine had always been there if you had read my previous posts, but im really reaching my limit!!

I had recently got a new maid, she is great! she dotes on my kids very much and she is good with the housework. Compared to my 1st maid, she is like god-sent!

My mum had been teaching my maid how to prepare meals for my kids n me as my MIL's cooking is CMI... -_- and my maid learnt fast. But there is a prob, my mil would always want to interfere in her cooking. As a result, the dishes are always spoilt due to her kpo-ness... I told her not to care as the maid knows what she is doing and seriously, whatever she cooked is far better which she herself agreed too...but still, she loves to interfere!

Then she will ask my maid to do alot of things, like simple things - pour a glass of water for her...wa lau! my mil got hands got legs and she is only 50, yet she is so lazy! I said before, the reason y i got a maid is to mind my kids, making sure they are well taken care of, the rest can wait. Yet, behind my back she is doing all these! Im worried that my maid would 1day cannot take it and decided not to work for me anymore, then where can i get help??

We are looking for a place to move, but she will still be staying with us, coz its an agreement i had with my hubby which im regretting EVERYDAY! I cun wait for the day when this agreement expired and she has to move out and and stay with us anymore!!

I cun stand looking at her, cun stand hearing her voice just simply cun stand her presence!!! ARGH!!!

 

[ihmdweh]

Hi to all mummies out there, guess almost everyone has problems with their MIL. Mine had always been there if you had read my previous posts, but im really reaching my limit!!

I had recently got a new maid, she is great! she dotes on my kids very much and she is good with the housework. Compared to my 1st maid, she is like god-sent!

My mum had been teaching my maid how to prepare meals for my kids n me as my MIL's cooking is CMI... -_- and my maid learnt fast. But there is a prob, my mil would always want to interfere in her cooking. As a result, the dishes are always spoilt due to her kpo-ness... I told her not to care as the maid knows what she is doing and seriously, whatever she cooked is far better which she herself agreed too...but still, she loves to interfere!

Then she will ask my maid to do alot of things, like simple things - pour a glass of water for her...wa lau! my mil got hands got legs and she is only 50, yet she is so lazy! I said before, the reason y i got a maid is to mind my kids, making sure they are well taken care of, the rest can wait. Yet, behind my back she is doing all these! Im worried that my maid would 1day cannot take it and decided not to work for me anymore, then where can i get help??

We are looking for a place to move, but she will still be staying with us, coz its an agreement i had with my hubby which im regretting EVERYDAY! I cun wait for the day when this agreement expired and she has to move out and and stay with us anymore!!

I cun stand looking at her, cun stand hearing her voice just simply cun stand her presence!!! ARGH!!!

unfortunately for most of us, our MILs are KPOs.. they cannot help but comment on things that are none of their business. but what to do.. she's your hubby's mother... ask hubby to speak to her?

 

[Kaykay2009]

Hi Fisherman's friend.

I commented on your post before if you remember, i'm moving house in a month's time and sadly, the mother in law is coming along. i see no way of getting rid of her unless she or myself dies.

Our's is an extreme case!Cos i do not greet her or allow her to go near my daughter but she super bitch nowdays cos she wil purposely come and hug/kiss my baby right in front of me! Up to 2 months ago,she won't do that so i really see it as a personal attack,

We will have 4 mths interim before we move into our new place and we ae gonna rent a place. Waned to park her at her own brother's place which is a 4 room flat,more then enough space but her ow brther said' its inconvenient'. So Pisssed!

She had the bloody guts to ask how much we sold our current place for when she did not put a cent in it nor buy anything for the house the whole 7 years we were there. when hubby didn't tell her, she asked 3 more times before she gave up an staretd slamming door,gates etc etc for a week before she stopped.

Now that we are packing for the move, she just simply throws her stuff int the box and leave it there waiting for the packer 'me ' to seal it up for her.the KPO me cannot tahan ,went to see why this particular box sooo heavy then realised she's moving pots and pans that i have not seen the sight of oer to te new place! She hogs empty plastic bottles, newspapers at hm but if you see her outside, she is like this very nice,understanding & modern MILthat if you never come across like very nice but like her friends who ever rent a place out to her before, all siam like crazy!

Have to apologise for frumbling away! normal times do not't talk to her already a lot to grumble, now with the moving...dont't grumble i will just kill her one day! thanks

 

[noelsmum]

I think you should really talk to your husband and get him on your side. Actually, tell your husband to tell your MIL to back off if not, she will be the one that's going to cause the marriage to fail. And maybe you should tell that to your MIL yourself. And warn her. I point this out to you. Your MIL is only 50. If you dont put your foot down and insist that she keeps her nose out of your affairs, for the next 30 years, she'll be poking her nose in your affairs. Can you tahan 30 years?

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

I know how u felt. But my situation is made worse when the sil is involved. She claimed that im bullying her mum when most of the time im just cooping up in the room! I also think i will kill her one day. Told hubby about it, but to him, his famly always come 1st, he actually said if i really can't accept his family then maybe we should just divorce. YES, he initiaites it...

Hi Fisherman's friend.

I commented on your post before if you remember, i'm moving house in a month's time and sadly, the mother in law is coming along. i see no way of getting rid of her unless she or myself dies.

Our's is an extreme case!Cos i do not greet her or allow her to go near my daughter but she super bitch nowdays cos she wil purposely come and hug/kiss my baby right in front of me! Up to 2 months ago,she won't do that so i really see it as a personal attack,

We will have 4 mths interim before we move into our new place and we ae gonna rent a place. Waned to park her at her own brother's place which is a 4 room flat,more then enough space but her ow brther said' its inconvenient'. So Pisssed!

She had the bloody guts to ask how much we sold our current place for when she did not put a cent in it nor buy anything for the house the whole 7 years we were there. when hubby didn't tell her, she asked 3 more times before she gave up an staretd slamming door,gates etc etc for a week before she stopped.

Now that we are packing for the move, she just simply throws her stuff int the box and leave it there waiting for the packer 'me ' to seal it up for her.the KPO me cannot tahan ,went to see why this particular box sooo heavy then realised she's moving pots and pans that i have not seen the sight of oer to te new place! She hogs empty plastic bottles, newspapers at hm but if you see her outside, she is like this very nice,understanding & modern MILthat if you never come across like very nice but like her friends who ever rent a place out to her before, all siam like crazy!

Have to apologise for frumbling away! normal times do not't talk to her already a lot to grumble, now with the moving...dont't grumble i will just kill her one day! thanks

 

[noelsmum]

I know how u felt. But my situation is made worse when the sil is involved. She claimed that im bullying her mum when most of the time im just cooping up in the room! I also think i will kill her one day. Told hubby about it, but to him, his famly always come 1st, he actually said if i really can't accept his family then maybe we should just divorce. YES, he initiaites it...

Sorry to hear that. If my husband says that to me, I would go. I would go because he has obviously shown and told me that I'm the least of his priorities and personally, I hate threats.

 

[Jinny]

Dear ladies, I'm also in such a situation, staying with my inlaws whole family. Got sister in law (SIL), brother in law and his stupid girlfriend!
I guess this is the avenue to vamp our frustrations here. My hubby is also 100% filial and would not live out of his parents, and his siblings are not even married so they are still in the house. I've also quarreled million times with hubby and almost turning insane lor! I also hated my inlaws, esp SIL! She thinks she's some big F*** in the house, boss here boss there, talk the loudest and the fatest! Anwe my problems in the house is way too much to list down that I've become dead in bothering what they do in my house as I just stay out of their sight everyday and stay in my room with my baby.
Take heart ladies, don let them affect our own family with hubby and children.
Try to be very accomodating to hubby, even if we are not the victim, play victim such that hubby will side us and eventually move out of his parents.

 

[Kaykay2009]

Hi All,

Like noelsmum said, if my hubby ever says that to me, i will walk out! Cos i don't believe in the nonsense that if you marry your hubby, u marry his family!!!Rubbish! I have always believed and told my hubby that he is partly responsible for his mom behaving the way she is,cos he did not listen to me and set ground rules when we first moved into our house.

His mom is just getting from bad to worse over the years! She is very needy cos she is divorced and expects all of us to manja her.As to all the stupid things she does, she just feigns ignorance !Whereas the things i do or say, 5 yrs ago also she remember.

Hubby is not exactly filial from what i see. i see it as he bo pian kena stuck with his mom cos his divorced sister act blur. Stay overseas most of the years and even when back and bought a house of her own, never ask her mom to go over and stay cos she also know her mother's pattern. Hubby's stand is that his mom 'is' just staying with us, we don't have to worry abt what she thinks or do but its difficult to me cos MIL slams doors, microwave oven door, child gate and whatever she can get her hands on when upset!

Now we just take her as a 'tenant' who doesn't pay rent. We cook our own dinner, buy our own household stuff etc except that i'll be more cordial if its a real tenant. haha!

frankly speaking, now with my gal, hubby is more on my side then when we didn't have her...so maybe must have more kids?? haha!

 

[noelsmum]

In my opinion, I must be my husband's priority. It's like if his mother and me fell into the sea, who would he save? And I will teach my son the same. I will not be my son's priority. His wife will be. But MILs sometimes dont see things that way and guilt their sons into seeing things their ways. Sure he can love his mother and be nice to her and all that but when it comes to the crunch, he must know to put me first.

 

[Kaykay2009]

Hi,

Sometimes when i'm not pissed with my MIL, i pity my hubby that he is stuck in the middle. But when his mom is into one of her antics, i feel like WHAT THE HELL? WHY U GOT THIS KIND OF MOTHER!!! hahaha!

Like yesterday, my gal had a fall while playing with my hubby, i was putting a plaster for her and the dear MIL of mine gave me this look like i'm a horrible mother and wanted to come close and take a look, i instantly carried my daughter pass her and into the room! She DOES NOT have a freaking right to interfere with anything in my life! she lost it when things got strained between us.

She will not have a grandchid if not for me so if she cannot do the simplest things to get along with me in my own freaking house, then she can jolly well piss off and stay away from my gal!

I'll worry about how to explain things between us to my gal when she is old enough but seriously, i'm crossing my fingers that she will not be around then!

Mean right? but that's the way things are now, for me to able to live my mariage life and not end up divorced becos of her. I refuse to give her "that" satisfaction!

 

[Fisherman's Friend]

Dear ladies, I'm also in such a situation, staying with my inlaws whole family. Got sister in law (SIL), brother in law and his stupid girlfriend!
I guess this is the avenue to vamp our frustrations here. My hubby is also 100% filial and would not live out of his parents, and his siblings are not even married so they are still in the house. I've also quarreled million times with hubby and almost turning insane lor! I also hated my inlaws, esp SIL! She thinks she's some big F*** in the house, boss here boss there, talk the loudest and the fatest! Anwe my problems in the house is way too much to list down that I've become dead in bothering what they do in my house as I just stay out of their sight everyday and stay in my room with my baby.
Take heart ladies, don let them affect our own family with hubby and children.
Try to be very accomodating to hubby, even if we are not the victim, play victim such that hubby will side us and eventually move out of his parents.

But how long can one tahan?? Each of us has our own limit mah, and when the sil is always coming with her 'attacks', one fine day sure lose it de...

 

[missymelody]

My mil is only in her early 40s but she also find things to say me. Rmb when I move over when my dd turns 1.5mths old.. She doesn't help, only plays with her or nag at me.. Say I'm lazy. Zblahblah.. Everytime I mop the damn house 1rm1hall. Me hub bb sleeps living rm.. She will say wah u mop shortcut. Blahblah .. I nv once answer back.. I jus smile and continue mopping.. Until once I mop for 3 days continuously, she 3 days say same thing, te last day I jus answer back, my mum teach me to mop this way, u saying my mum shortcut?? And she kept quiet.. Not only that! Once I quarrel with hub and move home. She call me teach and say funny things, when my hub bro call me, I told him everything, but when I move back, he ask if I'm lying abt his mum?? He say his mum said she nv call me at all, I was so pissed I jus went to sort everything out with my mil and end up she's the liar but she got her stories to cover.. Couldn't take it plus hub working late home, 1 fine night hubby early home. So he and bb slp at 8plus, I off tv oso wan slp, mil came out at say wah I stay hell ah,, cannot even watch tv, for the entire night I heard her kpkb on the phone , slam her room door, walk in walk out, purposely one, so next morning I cried complaining to hubby. And he ask me move bAvk home on the spot! Thankfully!! Good Friday I move home . Really a gd Friday! Haha. But recently she request to see bb. I quite unwilling bring bb over with hub, but make things clear that this will not be a every now and then request! Really think abt how she treated me for that 5.5mths is really!!!! But she oso lucky I nv quarrel or yell at her during that period!

 

[Kaykay2009]

Hi Missymelody,

I must say u very can tahan liao.Everytime my MIL do nonsense or give me shit i will either complain to hubby or tell her off but thats like in the first year i move into my own place.After the first year i already buay tahan wanna divorve liao cos keep quarelling with hubby over her cos hub is used to her nonsense so keep asking me to tahan.

Until 1 fine day, she accuse me of doing something that is hubby's fault but he keep quiet, i buay tahan told her off for everything then she shouted back at me until i fed up, left the house crying! Thats when hubby finally spoke up cos i stood outside the door listening.

After that my stupid MIL lose face liao, she moved out but my happiness was shortlived cos she moved back less then a year after cos her friend who rented the place out to her buay tahan her lack of cleanliness. I found out te real reason cos my mom and MIL got common friends.

Even when we were selling our house last month cos moving house, ask her to pack her room nicely for people to view, 1 week later still never pack. Hubby bo pian ask the agent to tell her then she not happy, slam things around the house.thats like her fave past time lo.

Now that we are packing to move, she take one big box, throw one whole lot of plastic bags and plastic bottles and leave the box there, then another box got pots and pans that i have not seen in the whole 7 years we were in this current place, wanna move to the new house!!! Hubby also pissed but really LL lo.

She is a part time garung guni man!

I think cos u staying with them in their house so unless u and hubby wanna get your own house, really no choice but tahan.

Mine is my own place so i hate it that i clean and then she mess it up. Good thing now is she hides in the room but we ba zi bu he so we still bump into each other very often!!

 

[Gem2505]

haiz. people always say those v fake things like "my son marry a wife, its like I have another daughter". i find it so fake..
coz in our heart, mum is mum, mil is forever mil. mum can scold or say us & we are ok the nx moment, but mil aint allow to do that coz we will rem forever in our heart. Many failed marriage started off with disagreements with inlaws. sometimes, when both fil n mil combines, LAGI worst. n it happened in my inlaws family. my bil n his wife divorced after 1.5years into their marriage coz all the fire, started off with inlaws. haiz. luckily, my tolerance level is damn good and i simply dont want to ask for anything or care about anything + i dont share much things with them, so they cant say anything.
unlucky me, balloted 10 times for BTO n i didnt get a unit at all. yeah. really wtf to hdb. n i was preg after 1.5months into my marriage n i insisted to buy a resale unit. glad enough, i bot a unit with reasonable pricing when i was 4months preg. collected key when i was 8mths preg n i delivered the following month ( alil pre mature ).
n i moved to my parents place for my confinement! YESH! damn happy lar. 1 month of freedom kind of feeling.
n I designed my house n chose floor tiles b4 i deliver n my husband monitor the reno progress during my confinement period. after confinement, house reno almost done. GLAD! moved out after which.

morale of the story, have your own place b4 marriage and if possible, do not stay under 1 roof with inlaws.
due to my bil divorce, they all cant move in my flat! SUPER GLAD! coz i bot a 3rm hdb flat, definitely cant accomodate all 3 of them. n i purposely uterlize fully on my common room, i did a 6doors wardrobe. so whatever happens, nobody can move in my place. ^_^

 

[Kaykay2009]

Gem 2505,

Haha! u very clever!

I don't have a FIL but i feel my MIL is equivalent to 3 bad ones.

Sometimes i wish she remarries, but birds of a feather, flock together! Wait end up handling 2 of them i'll kill myself.

 

[Gem2505]

Gem 2505,

Haha! u very clever!

I don't have a FIL but i feel my MIL is equivalent to 3 bad ones.

Sometimes i wish she remarries, but birds of a feather, flock together! Wait end up handling 2 of them i'll kill myself.

hahaha! have to plan ahead. i think a 3rm flat (2bedrooms) are good enough for us + 1 baby. if any case, going for #2, by the time #2 grows up and have own room, would be another 7-8 or 10 years! by then, i change to a 4rm flat also not too late mar. haha! =)

 

[ling.er]

I have unhappiness story with MIL as well.. my hus coming in next 3 year + im a full time working mum so my son will tk care by my MIL ... Sometime She will hide inside her bedroom taking on the phone.. Overheard sometime she taking.. Complaining About My Son naughtyness ~~~~~ Run here n there pull this n tat & also complain about my husband nv help to look after son . Of cos she complain about mi as well ... She talk in Hokkien I can understand... If she knew tat i was walkin here n there then she will close her door & talk inside...Duno y she love to gossip about mi...

Ya Own mum & MIL cannot compare... SOmehow i stil love my own mummy .... Waiting for next 3 year & move out... & i will step in her place again.... Of cos i will put my son in CC or let my own mum look after ....
*If im goin to have another bb in next few year.. Yes i wun tell her ^^

 

[Mandy Wong]

Hi Missymelody,

I must say u very can tahan liao.Everytime my MIL do nonsense or give me shit i will either complain to hubby or tell her off but thats like in the first year i move into my own place.After the first year i already buay tahan wanna divorve liao cos keep quarelling with hubby over her cos hub is used to her nonsense so keep asking me to tahan.


Until 1 fine day, she accuse me of doing something that is hubby's fault but he keep quiet, i buay tahan told her off for everything then she shouted back at me until i fed up, left the house crying! Thats when hubby finally spoke up cos i stood outside the door listening.

After that my stupid MIL lose face liao, she moved out but my happiness was shortlived cos she moved back less then a year after cos her friend who rented the place out to her buay tahan her lack of cleanliness. I found out te real reason cos my mom and MIL got common friends.

Even when we were selling our house last month cos moving house, ask her to pack her room nicely for people to view, 1 week later still never pack. Hubby bo pian ask the agent to tell her then she not happy, slam things around the house.thats like her fave past time lo.

Now that we are packing to move, she take one big box, throw one whole lot of plastic bags and plastic bottles and leave the box there, then another box got pots and pans that i have not seen in the whole 7 years we were in this current place, wanna move to the new house!!! Hubby also pissed but really LL lo.

She is a part time garung guni man!

I think cos u staying with them in their house so unless u and hubby wanna get your own house, really no choice but tahan.

Mine is my own place so i hate it that i clean and then she mess it up. Good thing now is she hides in the room but we ba zi bu he so we still bump into each other very often!!

Wah kay kay you very poor thing leh. Live in your own house still have to live with your mil.

 

[noelsmum]

I think morale of the story, don't live with in laws and I don't expect my husband to live with my parents too.

 

[rainbow123]

I agreed . Better to have a roof on our own is the best.