Very bad Temper...

[angelwendy]

My boy just reach 10 months old.. his temper is now getting from bad to worst.. as days go by... when we say no or he is tired... he will scream on top of his voice.. & start crying... How do we help them to cope with their temper... & how u do it??

 

[diymummy]

Be consistent with your discipline and don't give in. No means no. No doesn't mean no first and yes after fussing.

He's testing boundaries so just be patient and be consistent.

 

[angelwendy]

Yes i did say no means no... but i feel that nowdays he is very short temper... & i like very hard to handle him...

 

[AugBoyz]

I am sure you know when is his nap time or bed time. Try not to go out or engage in any activities tt will makes him excited nearing these time. Over tiredness will also result in a cranky toddler. When you know that he is throwing a temper due to tiredness or over tiredness, just hold him gently and tell him that you know he is tired, try soothing him and calming him down by distraction or simply just hug him. If he is really tired, hugging n singing (if u want) can make him fall asleep soon.

10mths is a stage where they are mobile and thus are very curious in anything and everything. Try not to prevent him from venturing out exploring but keep safety in mind. If he touches something tt is dangerous, give a firm NO! remove the item he is holding or remove him from that area. If he cry n scream, say a firm NO again, then tell him that you will not speak to him until he calm down or stop screaming/crying. Then walk away, leaving him alone either in a corner or in the safety of playpen etc. When he has quieten down a bit or less screaming, go to him and tell him why he shld not touch that item. If he starts to raise his voice, tell him calmly that its obvious he has not calmed down, you shall leave him till he decides to listen.

Thats what i did to my monster. When he is crying/whinning/screaming/stomping his feet, I will tell him that I dun talk to crying/whinning/screaming/or child stomping his feet, come back to me when you have calmed down and decided to talk. He takes abt 5mins n will come back to me saying "Mummy, I am ready to talk now."

Also, a 10mth old may have difficulty in expressing themselves or they try to gesture or show the others what he wants or what he wanna do. And when the others could not understand him, he feels frustrated thus throwing temper to show his frustration. You just have to tell him that you are trying to understand him, get him to tell u slowly what he wants, or you do a guessing to see if u hit the jackpot of not.

 

[shiyi]

recently i had this problem too..
she screams when she wants to crawl, she screams when she wants to be carried.

 

[AugBoyz]

Becoz she still does not know how to speak. Teach her to say simple words like bao-bao or use some gesture like stretching out her hands to show tt she wants to be carried. If she wanna crawl then let her be, just make sure she is not crawling to a dangerous place, have to keep an eye on her while she is crawling around.

 

[maneo0302]

Oh dear...
I didn't know that kids are like this.
Probably train them from young.

 

[shiyi]

she likes to crawl to the standing fan. we said no many times but shes still very stubborn.
Thats why everytime got to carry her when she starts crawling to the direction

 

[angelwendy]

I am sure you know when is his nap time or bed time. Try not to go out or engage in any activities tt will makes him excited nearing these time. Over tiredness will also result in a cranky toddler. When you know that he is throwing a temper due to tiredness or over tiredness, just hold him gently and tell him that you know he is tired, try soothing him and calming him down by distraction or simply just hug him. If he is really tired, hugging n singing (if u want) can make him fall asleep soon.

10mths is a stage where they are mobile and thus are very curious in anything and everything. Try not to prevent him from venturing out exploring but keep safety in mind. If he touches something tt is dangerous, give a firm NO! remove the item he is holding or remove him from that area. If he cry n scream, say a firm NO again, then tell him that you will not speak to him until he calm down or stop screaming/crying. Then walk away, leaving him alone either in a corner or in the safety of playpen etc. When he has quieten down a bit or less screaming, go to him and tell him why he shld not touch that item. If he starts to raise his voice, tell him calmly that its obvious he has not calmed down, you shall leave him till he decides to listen.

Thats what i did to my monster. When he is crying/whinning/screaming/stomping his feet, I will tell him that I dun talk to crying/whinning/screaming/or child stomping his feet, come back to me when you have calmed down and decided to talk. He takes abt 5mins n will come back to me saying "Mummy, I am ready to talk now."

Also, a 10mth old may have difficulty in expressing themselves or they try to gesture or show the others what he wants or what he wanna do. And when the others could not understand him, he feels frustrated thus throwing temper to show his frustration. You just have to tell him that you are trying to understand him, get him to tell u slowly what he wants, or you do a guessing to see if u hit the jackpot of not.

I do let him have a quite or less activities when is come to bed time... but is just endless of turning & standing in his cot.. i do sing & hug him & pat him... but he will suddenly throw temper again... Then i put him in his cot don't care about his temper.. he will cry non stop & louder each time.. till i no choice but to carry him up again...

Yup i do agree with u about letting them to calm down before talking to them again.. i will try.. & let u know how it goes.. thanks alots...

 

[angelwendy]

Oh dear...
I didn't know that kids are like this.
Probably train them from young.

Kids do alot of unexpected stuff.. haha.. just need to learn from it..

 

[AugBoyz]

I do let him have a quite or less activities when is come to bed time... but is just endless of turning & standing in his cot.. i do sing & hug him & pat him... but he will suddenly throw temper again... Then i put him in his cot don't care about his temper.. he will cry non stop & louder each time.. till i no choice but to carry him up again...

Yup i do agree with u about letting them to calm down before talking to them again.. i will try.. & let u know how it goes.. thanks alots...

So you have a bedtime routine, which is good. Does he goes to bed at the same time? Try this, list down the things you are going to do together before lying down to sleep. I always tell my monster (even now, habit lah, difficult to kick) what to anticipate later. Like I will tell him, its nearing bed time, in another 15mins we will have a wipe down (this is when he is young lah), change into pj, drink your milkmilk, read 1/2/3 story books then sleep ok? I make sure he agrees with this, coz later if he change him mind and decided that he does not want to sleep after reading books I will remind him that he promised to go to bed after the story book. Usually he will just lie down n try to go to sleep. Perhaps its becoz we sleep on the same bed it makes sleeping easier, i usually will lie down till he dozed off or we both KO together.

When 1 min he is calm n ready to sleep and the next min he blows his top, did you ask him the reason? Is it coz the bed is warm? the bedsheet is too scratchy? the blanket has a funny smell? or pillow/bolster (if he has) is not fluffed up? Some kids are super sensitive and they will fuss when a tiny bit of thing does not feel right.

 

[apollo]

for me, if my son fuss or throw temper, i will ignore him. he will go to the extend to lying on the floor and cry!! we just ignore him and he will get up on his own aft he is done with his crying. last time my parents always give in cos they feel that we shdnt let a child cry, let him have whatever he wants 1st. but aft sometime, they also feel that they shdnt continue spoiling him and also be firm with him. =)

 

[angelwendy]

So you have a bedtime routine, which is good. Does he goes to bed at the same time? Try this, list down the things you are going to do together before lying down to sleep. I always tell my monster (even now, habit lah, difficult to kick) what to anticipate later. Like I will tell him, its nearing bed time, in another 15mins we will have a wipe down (this is when he is young lah), change into pj, drink your milkmilk, read 1/2/3 story books then sleep ok? I make sure he agrees with this, coz later if he change him mind and decided that he does not want to sleep after reading books I will remind him that he promised to go to bed after the story book. Usually he will just lie down n try to go to sleep. Perhaps its becoz we sleep on the same bed it makes sleeping easier, i usually will lie down till he dozed off or we both KO together.

When 1 min he is calm n ready to sleep and the next min he blows his top, did you ask him the reason? Is it coz the bed is warm? the bedsheet is too scratchy? the blanket has a funny smell? or pillow/bolster (if he has) is not fluffed up? Some kids are super sensitive and they will fuss when a tiny bit of thing does not feel right.

Yup from he from newborn till now.. i always have a routine.. because i did some read up .. having routine will be more ez for babies to get to bed & sleep.. i also agree it might be because u both sleep together.. because i try once.. i put him on my bed.. he will be more ez to fall asleep.. not like in cot.. but because me & hubby don't wan him to get a habit of sleeping together.. so i still let him sleep in his cot... I hope he can answer me.. even i ask.. he still will cry... even i adjust the temp in the room.. or give him his fav blanket.. still same...

 

[AugBoyz]

Yup from he from newborn till now.. i always have a routine.. because i did some read up .. having routine will be more ez for babies to get to bed & sleep.. i also agree it might be because u both sleep together.. because i try once.. i put him on my bed.. he will be more ez to fall asleep.. not like in cot.. but because me & hubby don't wan him to get a habit of sleeping together.. so i still let him sleep in his cot... I hope he can answer me.. even i ask.. he still will cry... even i adjust the temp in the room.. or give him his fav blanket.. still same...

And since young he has been like that? While in the bedtime routine he will just throw his temper and refuse to sleep?

 

[angelwendy]

And since young he has been like that? While in the bedtime routine he will just throw his temper and refuse to sleep?

Everyday our routine is... I mean before bed time... abt 6pm he will have his solid meal... then 7~7.30 will be shower... Then play for a while.. then i try to put him to sleep abt 10pm.. Sing song.. pat him... but while i sing.. he will turn & roll here & there.. till a while later.. i keep on singing.. he will begin to fuss & wanna come out from the cot.. or even the yao lan.. he will keep turning... When he is younger that time.. is more ez to make him sleep or nap.. but now is seem so hard & endless...

 

[Ting]

wendy, i think it's becos benson is older now, thus more curious n active, so it would be more difficult to put him to bed. i believe many parents go thru this phase. like pin, when she was a baby, she slps practically the whole time and putting her to bed was easy peasy, put her down, give her a milk n within 5 mins she is in her lala land alr. but as she grows older, it gets more difficult to pull her onto the bed, sometimes, i even hv to threaten with the cane then she will relunctantly go to bed. but i think, perhaps my family slps late, so she wants to "hangout" with us and only go to slp when we slp.

 

[maneo0302]

I think we should ignore him by letting him cry and roll on the floor if he wants. He just want attention. The parents can try to get out of the house and tell him that they are going 'gai gai' and will not bring him since he's such a naughty boy. I believe the boy will stop all the nonsense once the parents step out. But of course, the parents are just going out for e.g. 10 mins. This is a 'white' lie.

 

[shiyi]

once i put her in the cot when shes awake, she will scream.
once i put her on my bed, she will crawl down the bed. haha

 

[AugBoyz]

Everyday our routine is... I mean before bed time... abt 6pm he will have his solid meal... then 7~7.30 will be shower... Then play for a while.. then i try to put him to sleep abt 10pm.. Sing song.. pat him... but while i sing.. he will turn & roll here & there.. till a while later.. i keep on singing.. he will begin to fuss & wanna come out from the cot.. or even the yao lan.. he will keep turning... When he is younger that time.. is more ez to make him sleep or nap.. but now is seem so hard & endless...

eh. 10pm is too late for a baby IMHO. My monster zzz at 730pm at tt age, better for him plus I can have ME time, he wakes up at 6am plus as need to go grandma's use while I go to work. Perhaps instead of singing song, how abt u read bedtime story, keep it to 1 or 2 then off all lights. For a start u may wanna on a small light n sit besides his cot while u read or surf net, tell him that he has to sleep while u sit near him to accompany him. After tt Dun talk to him or interact with him. If he climbs up make him lie down without talking, if he rolls in his cot let him be, if he starts to cry or scream let him be. Then gradually move further away fm his cot. The main thing is not to talk to him if he gets up etc. U will make him get excited by talking to him.

 

[Julin]

Just to share:

My gal was a fussy baby when she was born..
She kept crying during her first 3 months.
She will demands for her needs by crying out loud.
She had this habit of crying till she will hold her breath and no noise at all.
My hubby n me got really frightened when she did that.
We are worried that she will just stop her breathing.. that can be very dangerous.

For myself, i will try to attend all her needs in order to stop her from crying to that extent.
As she grow older (15mths now), she does test your boundaries and limits.and of course her temper got worse.
She will still cry till her face turn purple.. and stamp her feets if she cant get her things.
I believe that this is the frustation in her that she does not know how to handle and express.
So I used the soft approach...
when she does not want me to take her things away, i will to trade with her with a toy or something that she may like.
If she is crossing my bournaries, i will carried her and let her fuss..talked to her when she is calm.
So far, for the past 4mths of soft approach.. she is able to understand and more cooperative. A simple NO can stop her from crossing the bournaries..The most important thing is that i had not seen that horrible cry...

When a child is showing temper, she is trying to express her feelings and communicating..
so understanding your child's character and personality is important and help her to develop into her strength.
It also help you to deal with it better.