wad should i do?

[baby_sadako87]

sorry to ask these questions, i was curious how single mum faced the situation of being a single mum & when yr child grows older & they asked about the dad, how do single mum answer?

i am xtreme confused and helpless now my gal is 3month+ & divorce is already in my mind. since the day i was preg, hubby promised 2 wrk hard 4 the baby. but till date, he has not even started wrking!!! i will be going back 2 the office tml, no1 takes care of my gal (infant care & nanny/ babysis seemed 2 be very xpensive nowadays)...i wanted 2 apply 4 immediate divorce but have 2 wait @ least 3 yrs from wad i read on the net.

haix wad should i do?

 

[Ting]

right now, your biggest concern shouldnt be how r u gg to answer to your child cos she's still so young, n prob will only ask u after a few more years.
right now, u shld think abt whether divorce is the only way out.
abt lookin after your child, can your parents or in laws help out?
any reason why your hubby is not working?
have u tried having a good talk with him?
what hv your in laws said? they didnt say anything to him???


try to work things out before thinking abt divorce.
its a big step, n big issue.
things like this can be compromised n worked on.
talk to your hubby before making such a rash decision.
i believe he is still quite young?

 

[baby_sadako87]

right now, your biggest concern shouldnt be how are you gg to answer to your child cos she's still so young, and prob will only ask you after a few more years.
right now, you shld think about whether divorce is the only way out.
about lookin after your child, can your parents or in laws help out?
any reason why your hubby is not working?
have you tried having a good talk with him?
what have your in laws said? they didnt say anything to him???


try to work things out before thinking about divorce.
its a big step, and big issue.
things like this can be compromised and worked on.
talk to your hubby before making such a rash decision.
i believe he is still quite young?

sometimes i thought divorce is the only way out. but think about baby, haix...she very kelian leh...
now nanny helping 2 look after. after baby 6 in 1 jab i mostly bringing her back 2 msia give my aunty take care, @ least i more fangxin...my mama nv ever taken care baby before, so she die die also dunwan...in laws, only left the dad, his mum passed away...haix wait 4 in laws take care...wait long long...
i guessed he dun wrk is due 2 plain lazy! talked 2 him also no use...all he said was, i will go find a job...but i have been listening 2 this for 1 yr le...

yep, both of us still quite young...haix, talked 2 him all he ever give is empty promises...sian le...

 

[Ting]

ever consider seeing a marriage counsellor?
my ex was the same.
day 1 i was preg, he told me he will work hard n all.
end up, nvr, all expenses for baby i paid, my family paid. his side, nvr fork out a blardy single cent, yet talk so much nonsense to me.
but tt time he serving NS, so i give it to him, wait for him to ORD.
3-4 weeks b4 he ORD, he cleared leave, he hv one whole month to look for job, but he just keep dragging.
(pin was born arnd tt time when he ORD.)
my dad intro him job, he say his sis bf alr intro him, he just waiting.
then when his sis bf intro him, he say my dad intro him alr now he waiting.
i was so angry!!!
he was just plain LAZY! though he doesnt open mouth to ask me for money, bt he will ask or EXPECT me to pay for his expenses like food! or when we go out.
n his ciggs! sometimes i will get damn angry n say ciggs is your own bad habit, i wont pay, so he will take the money his dad give him to buy ciggs n then i hv to pay for his food.
tt one nvm, i stil tolerate.
but he doesnt even help me take care of pin!
he only play with her for awhile then the rest i do. bathe her, feed her, tc of her n all. n my parents too.
he? just play game, slp, watch TV. really piss me off!
tt was my last straw. one night, i just threw him out of my hse at 4 am in the morning!!!
told him it was over, no more, but he still wanted to get back with me, i told him, no use, im utterly disappointed n disgusted by him.


my guess is u r 22 years old too yeah?
r u malaysian? if your child goes to msia for your aunt to tc, then u gg over too?

 

[baby_sadako87]

ever consider seeing a marriage counsellor?
my ex was the same.
day 1 i was preg, he told me he will work hard and all.
end up, never, all expenses for baby i paid, my family paid. his side, never fork out a blardy single cent, yet talk so much nonsense to me.
but that time he serving NS, so i give it to him, wait for him to ORD.
3-4 weeks before he ORD, he cleared leave, he have one whole month to look for job, but he just keep dragging.
(pin was born arnd that time when he ORD.)
my dad intro him job, he say his sis bf already intro him, he just waiting.
then when his sis bf intro him, he say my dad intro him already now he waiting.
i was so angry!!!
he was just plain LAZY! though he doesnt open mouth to ask me for money, bt he will ask or EXPECT me to pay for his expenses like food! or when we go out.
and his ciggs! sometimes i will get damn angry and say ciggs is your own bad habit, i wont pay, so he will take the money his dad give him to buy ciggs and then i have to pay for his food.
that one nvm, i stil tolerate.
but he doesnt even help me take care of pin!
he only play with her for awhile then the rest i do. bathe her, feed her, tc of her and all. and my parents too.
he? just play game, sleep, watch TV. really piss me off!
that was my last straw. one night, i just threw him out of my house at 4 am in the morning!!!
told him it was over, no more, but he still wanted to get back with me, i told him, no use, im utterly disappointed and disgusted by him.


my guess is you are 22 years old too yeah?
are you malaysian? if your child goes to msia for your aunt to tc, then you gg over too?

i doubt a marriage counsellor will be off any help, coz he's jux plain lazy!!!
wa yr situation all same as mine leh, jux that i nv told my family about it

hehe yes, mi 22 this yr. nah, mum was a msian, that's y i got relative in msia haix...

 

[little_rabbit]

haizzz.. men are really very good with lies! me too just walk out from my ex bf house after 5years together. he also promise he will change, will marry me when my baby is born but my child 2years plus liao still he keep on making excuses for himself. he didnt even buy me a ring! i have to take care of baby by myself too.

but when i am with him that time, i try to make sure he pay for all baby expenses. if not i will make a big fuss like nag and nag at him until he cant tahan. cos i strongly feel that a man should pay for his child's exp.

I am not encouraging you to divorce him lah. I feel that you have to consider loh. at least he is decent enough to marry you leh. Give him a chance. for example like give him a reasonable timeline loh and tell him the consequences that if by that time he dont get a job then you will leave him.

btw, why he cant take care of baby when he is not working? what is he doing at home all day long?

 

[thsheyanne]

How long have you guys been married? If financially you can support your baby i think its ok. For me my baby is more important than husband. I live for my kid now not for my husband. Try and give him more time or a deadline. My husband will be out of job in sep. My baby coming out in sep. He can still spent reaching $500 for gaming. Very disappointed in him. Told myself if he doesn't get a job by november its bye bye. Why should i support him?

 

[Ting]

money is a sensitive issue.
thsheyanne, i think u shldnt just divorce your hubby just bcos he goes out of job.
its not easy to look for one.
is he searching for one now?
he should start alr.
if can, maybe try to go to agencies. go to a few, they will arrange some interviews for him cos they alr hv some positions on hand, just need the right candidate.
whatever job there is, just take first.
marriage is abt compromising too.
for me, i didnt trust he could do a gd job, so i refuse to marry me though he suggested.
he make it as if its only natural we got married since im preg.
but for me, tts not the case. i wont marry for the sake of the baby.
so i keep holding off, i wanna see if he can provide for me n my child. which turns out i was right, so i left him.
try to work things out properly b4 making any rash decisions.