Wanting to have a baby but lack support

[Drippy]

I am married and we want to have kids. My husband loves kids a lot. But he is not able to have complete sex with me as he never manages to ejaculate, except once or twice. I always have to initiate sex and it makes me very sad, like I am not desired at all.
I have made known to him that if we want to have babies there are certain windows in the cycle that are important. During those periods, I will try to BD with him but he doesn't seem to want to try. This recent month, he is just trying to avoid most of the time, saying that he is tired (but he will stay up watchTV or shop or exercise). One time he just shouted at me to go to sleep.
yesterday, I asked him if he would consider adoption then. He said ok. I am really sad, dont't know what to do. By the way, it is not as if I ask for BD every day, maybe more like once or twice a week. Is it too much?
Sorry for the long post because I have no one to talk to about this.

 

[gingertea]

Hi Drippy,

Welcome to Sgmummy! Im ginger and most of us here are TTC and some of us have one problem or other. And each of us have diiferent set of problem/s. May i know how many years have u been married. Make it a fun one when BD. U know, guys have very strong pride and always refuse to recognized their problem so i can say it is rather tricky to make hb for check up. Perhaps u can try out with TCM or take some tonic. Have a heart to heart talk when both of u are free and relaxed. A good time would be during a short holiday. Well, dun worry, we are here for support and share. Do feel free to speak cos that helps.

I am trying to conceive for few years and currently on TCM. Hope for good news soon.

 

[maca]

Try making the setting romantic... Light up ylang ylang candles? Sexy lingerie? Otherwise, with the help of science, u can still have your own kids. Cheer up!

 

[taviakoo]

sometimes it is hard for the stress at work and family . Try to relax and not to think so much. sometimes we also feel really stress and dont want to do it and avoid it.

We went to buy aroma oil to try to relax when we are sleeping.
Try to go to some nice dinner / shows or movies before that.
Watch RA shows ( it might help and create more ideas, make it fun not troublesome)

Good Luck!

 

[mummychoi]

hi mummies, go on a relaxed holiday over the weekend. sometimes when my husband is stress, it is difficult to enjoy the moment. even after marriage, we have at least 2 days alone moments - dinner/drinking whatever. i read up alot and learnt from my coach that our lifestyles, diet and emotion play important role for sexual & reproduction. if you want to know more, can pm me.
since now i am alone in seoul with my family, hope can meet more sg mummies.

Hi Drippy,

Welcome to Sgmummy! Im ginger and most of us here are TTC and some of us have one problem or other. And each of us have diiferent set of problem/s. May i know how many years have u been married. Make it a fun one when BD. U know, guys have very strong pride and always refuse to recognized their problem so i can say it is rather tricky to make hb for check up. Perhaps u can try out with TCM or take some tonic. Have a heart to heart talk when both of u are free and relaxed. A good time would be during a short holiday. Well, dun worry, we are here for support and share. Do feel free to speak cos that helps.

I am trying to conceive for few years and currently on TCM. Hope for good news soon.

 

[Mummy2TwoSoon]

Poor Drippy, I hope things are better now? You are absolutely normal!!! You love your hubby, one or twice a week is not too much! It depends on your age, if you want children and are getting on, then better hurry up, whether it is to get pregnant or adoption. I suspect the problem is with your hubby. If I am not wrong, for them to truly enjoy BD, they need to ejaculate to experience the orgasm, but you mentioned he is not. He is likely not enjoying it and he is likely to be stressed up in his head. There was once my hubby was stressed with some problem with his mother, but not cos of BD issues, so he couldnt enjoy BD with me. He was just too stressed to have sex. I thought I was undesirable but it wasnt like that. So dont feel upset, most likely he is going through something. We spoke about it nicely though it can be really awkward but it was cool talking about it cos now we know the truth.

Has your hubby seen a specialist? I know men are prideful but it would be good if he sees one. My dear husband was finally diagnosed with low sperm count and high abnormalities so we took a long time conceive the baby I am carrying in my tummy now. He was quite embarrassed by his problem but he took courage to be examined by the specialist and did several sperm tests.

sorry but i dont agree with the one who posted about watching RA shows together, esp when your hubby is already having some issues, RA shows are unrealistic and can make things worse for him. This is my personal opinion.

 

[Drippy]

Mummytwosoon, congrats on having a baby! You must be looking forward to meeting baby soon!
i don't think things are better. I tried talking to him and he was angry.
Actually I have given up already. Quite prepared to be childless. Just frustrated that now and then our parents will comment on when we are having a baby. Feel very stressed because they always seem to imply that it is my fault. But I am already trying so hard, And worse still my husband also tells people that he wants a baby.
so I guess everyone is gonna assume it is my fault.
But thanks for your advice, I really appreciate having a listening ear.

 

[Mummy2TwoSoon]

you are welcome to share and vent anytime.