What does your MIL do for you when you are pregnant?

[rainypink]

Rainpink....is your MIL going to the prenatal lesson with you?

I wanna get her to come with me. I have the same thoughts as you but i dont know if my hubby and me and MIL can go together?? Or only couples can go?
am thinking if wanna spend another hundred+ leh.. haha.. She go, i need to pay for her too right?

:tlaugh:Getting hubby to go because he never reads about anything, this dunno, that dunno. Get MIL go because i want her to up to date for my baby and sanity sake when its time for her to do confinement for me .

 

[rainypink]

Rainypink...so paiseh...this supposed to be your questionaire link but it has became our complaint link..:shyxxx:

:tlaugh:No problems.

 

[rainypink]

my SIL said her MIL 'jumped' when her hubby brew birdnest for her. her MIL made comments like' wa, u so lucky, i bring up my son so big he not once buy such good things for me'..

Come to think of it, MIL maybe will get jealous when our hubby treat us so nice. :shyxxx:

now i know why some people say look at how men treat their families..they will somehow treat you the same or better.
My hubby never buy such gd tonic or fd for his mother. :001_302: he never buys for me also unless i open my mouth and ask for it or nag for it. haha.

 

[VroomVroomBoys]

I wanna get her to come with me. I have the same thoughts as you but i dont know if my hubby and me and MIL can go together?? Or only couples can go?
am thinking if wanna spend another hundred+ leh.. haha.. She go, i need to pay for her too right?

If I'm not wrong, such classes allow 2 persons to attend together ... not necessarily just husband & wife.

During my time, on the week when they were teaching baby massage, my MIL attended together with my wife.

Then, on the week when they were teaching breastfeeding, there were other mummies who came with their own mummies when their husband were the usual companions.
I still cannot understand why ... shy? patang? disgust?
:rofl: :rofl:

My 2 cents' worth ... whether at the ante-natal class or during your confinement, it will still be an eye-opener to your husband.
So, if your MIL is willing to go along with you ... grab the opportunity to do so. For all you know, she might think like most other MILs after only a few lessons: MILs suppose to be high-&-mighty, so why should come here to confirm I dunno a thing?
Even if that day come, you can still activate your husband to take over her place in class.
:rofl: :rofl:

 

[akachan09]

I wanna get her to come with me. I have the same thoughts as you but i dont know if my hubby and me and MIL can go together?? Or only couples can go?
am thinking if wanna spend another hundred+ leh.. haha.. She go, i need to pay for her too right?

:tlaugh:Getting hubby to go because he never reads about anything, this dunno, that dunno. Get MIL go because i want her to up to date for my baby and sanity sake when its time for her to do confinement for me .

rainypink, are you attending the prenatal lesson at TMC? If 3 of you are attending together, maybe you can check with Mrs Wong. Otherwise, like what VVB has mentioned, go with your MIL or hubby on alternate lessons. Anyway, if you are giving birth at TMC, your hubby still gets a chance to see the bathing and breastfeeding part during your stay in hospital and it's free! Just need to check with nurse on the timing.

 

[akachan09]

Come to think of it, MIL maybe will get jealous when our hubby treat us so nice. :shyxxx:

now i know why some people say look at how men treat their families..they will somehow treat you the same or better.
My hubby never buy such gd tonic or fd for his mother. :001_302: he never buys for me also unless i open my mouth and ask for it or nag for it. haha.

You are not alone....me too. I must tell my hubby then he will get it for me. Usually I am the one who gets all the birthday presents for his family. His parent are thrifty people, hardly spend money on good stuffs. So I guess he is also like that since being brought up in this environment.

 

[barang_square]

For me, from the 1st day of my pregancy she did nto ask anytign abt my confinment after I delivery (I am in USA). My mum asked asked me to go back and she can take care of me for my confinement. So I went back to sg. During my pregnanyc, she never visit me. She did call once in a blue moon. After she knows that I help up my mum with some work in her office.. my mil comments say yes.. must exercise more.

No tonic, no visits, nothing.

Till about 3 months i wanna to delivery, she say she is not able to help during confinemtn as she need to take care of my SIL, who delievcr 3 months before me. My MIL has been staying with her. And this is her 4th pregnancy, she has a maid, and she has her husbnad to help up. And my MIL tells me she need to help her....

Wowo.... she so big shoottt....... got so many helper. In the end, after my SIL confinement, my SIL chase her out of her house. And that was the time ard my delivery time. After I deliver and I am in hospital, she then offer to ask me to go to her house for confinement, she can take care of me. All my things etc in my mum house..... abit toolate to offer right?

I stay in sg for 5 months after I delivery before I return back to sg. For that 5 months, she visits me in hospital 2 times, at my mum house 2 times, chinese new year go to her house 1 time. My FIL even better... only see my son once and that was during chinese new year when we go to their house.

sighhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[akachan09]

Hi barang_square,

You are not alone facing this kind of problem. I believe most DILs face MILs problem in all their life. Just look at all the comments above. Luckily you do not live with them.

 

[barang_square]

akachan09;143298]Hi barang_square,

You are not alone facing this kind of problem. I believe most DILs face MILs problem in all their life. Just look at all the comments above. Luckily you do not live with them.[/quote]


Hi akachan,

yeha, luckily I am not living with them. U know, not that I wan her to help. She is very old liao. She is 80+ liao. But just feel better if she could offer.

 

[VroomVroomBoys]

Hi barang_square,

You are not alone facing this kind of problem. I believe most DILs face MILs problem in all their life. Just look at all the comments above. Luckily you do not live with them.

Hi akachan,

yeha, luckily I am not living with them. U know, not that I wan her to help. She is very old liao. She is 80+ liao. But just feel better if she could offer.

Women will always be women ... always ruled by the heart.

The rationale side of you also know that she is too old for this, but you rather she offerred so you can exercise your right of rejection ... which you also did, eventually (read: "all my things etc in my mum house ... a bit too late to offer, right?")

Yet, you are still unhappy ... what if you really have her help out in your confinement? Wouldn't you then be cursing about the "MIL from Hell" ... or swearing about the "MIL who's always in your way"?
:biggrin: :biggrin:

 

[llcyahoo]

at least yr mil called. mine will only appear if she need our help and dun even bother that DH is her only child. She only care for herself and not working since young cos hv many diff BF to feed her. Great liar in everything even to her own son, Come my hse during CNY, step in 1st thing ask "got extra TV set? I need one in my hse" !!!!! Act pityful infront of my son, keep telling him her hse so small can she stay here. Saw my mum busy in kitchen, every year saying same thing to her " aiya, i only know how to eat, paisei lei" many many selfish things she did juz to get wat she want. I juz pray that everything will be ok for her so we can hv peaceful life.

 

[izanyzam]

Is it just our raging hormones that cause us to be overly sensitive during pregnancy..???

Me and hubby have been married for 11 months..We wanted to have children immediately after we got married..2 months after our wedding,i found out i was pregnant..Some of the first people i told was my in-laws..Of course,they were estatic..But sadly,my pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 5weeks.So did my second pregnancy..

And at the same time,my BIL & SIL got their first daughter..So can say that the baby is my MIL's first grandchild..Im not competing with them..But eversince im pregnant with my current baby (im at my 13th week),i feel that i didnt get the reaction that i expected from my in-laws esp my MIL.

Could my previous 2 miscarriages be the cause of the way they behave?? Maybe they didnt wanna put any hope on my current pregnancy?

I expected her to be concerned and would want to call me up and ask about me and the baby..But im the one whos excited and would give her a call immediately after my gynae's appt to update her on the baby.And she always talks about my BIL & SIL's baby daughter.What about me and the baby dats growing inside of me?Am i being winey and petty about it?? After going thru 2 miscarriages,all i want is advice and assurance from a mother figure.

I try not to bring this up to my DH coz i know it might upset him..But sometimes,i will talk about it,and i know deep down,hes hurt by my remarks.

To make matters worse,my own mum has passed away 6 yrs ago..i miss her more now that im pregnant as i know she will definitely be there to take care of me..I find myself crying coz i just miss her so much.This would be her first grandchild.

For now,my DH is all ive got,and im thankful for his love and support.

 

[Stan]

hey... dont feel so sad... understand that sometimes you will want to talk to a mother figure... just come online and talk to any of the mummies or MTBs here.! we are all here to give each other support.

 

[izanyzam]

hey... dont feel so sad... understand that sometimes you will want to talk to a mother figure... just come online and talk to any of the mummies or MTBs here.! we are all here to give each other support.

Hi Stan...Dats why ive been online here more recently to ask for any advice or help during my pregnancy..So far most of the MTBs here have been very helpful...Thanks!!! :001_302::001_302:

 

[akachan09]

Is it just our raging hormones that cause us to be overly sensitive during pregnancy..???

Me and hubby have been married for 11 months..We wanted to have children immediately after we got married..2 months after our wedding,i found out i was pregnant..Some of the first people i told was my in-laws..Of course,they were estatic..But sadly,my pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 5weeks.So did my second pregnancy..

And at the same time,my BIL & SIL got their first daughter..So can say that the baby is my MIL's first grandchild..Im not competing with them..But eversince im pregnant with my current baby (im at my 13th week),i feel that i didnt get the reaction that i expected from my in-laws esp my MIL.

Could my previous 2 miscarriages be the cause of the way they behave?? Maybe they didnt wanna put any hope on my current pregnancy?

I expected her to be concerned and would want to call me up and ask about me and the baby..But im the one whos excited and would give her a call immediately after my gynae's appt to update her on the baby.And she always talks about my BIL & SIL's baby daughter.What about me and the baby dats growing inside of me?Am i being winey and petty about it?? After going thru 2 miscarriages,all i want is advice and assurance from a mother figure.

I try not to bring this up to my DH coz i know it might upset him..But sometimes,i will talk about it,and i know deep down,hes hurt by my remarks.

To make matters worse,my own mum has passed away 6 yrs ago..i miss her more now that im pregnant as i know she will definitely be there to take care of me..I find myself crying coz i just miss her so much.This would be her first grandchild.

For now,my DH is all ive got,and im thankful for his love and support.

Hi

Dun be sad...it seems like we are on the same boat. I had two miscarriages after my #1. My MIL knew abt it but she also did not bother to call or show concern abt my health and baby after I got pregnant again. She only bothers to call once few days ago to check whether I have given birth as I am now at 39 weeks. Feel as if I am their child bearing machine rather than her DIL....
Just come online and talk, you will feel better...just like me

 

[izanyzam]

Hi

Dun be sad...it seems like we are on the same boat. I had two miscarriages after my #1. My MIL knew abt it but she also did not bother to call or show concern abt my health and baby after I got pregnant again. She only bothers to call once few days ago to check whether I have given birth as I am now at 39 weeks. Feel as if I am their child bearing machine rather than her DIL....
Just come online and talk, you will feel better...just like me

Hi akachan...Its as if people dont take us seriously after we conceived again after our miscarriages..Dats why im so thankful to have a very supportive hubby coz he's all i can depend on..ANd yes talking to people like you does help a lot..!!! Thanks for sharing and hope you will have a safe birth soon..!! :001_302::001_302:

 

[apollo]

Hi akachan...Its as if people dont take us seriously after we conceived again after our miscarriages..Dats why im so thankful to have a very supportive hubby coz he's all i can depend on..ANd yes talking to people like you does help a lot..!!! Thanks for sharing and hope you will have a safe birth soon..!! :001_302::001_302:

i think most impt is our BB safe and healthy come out to this world... healthy is the most impt... so dun care abt others even if they're ur in-laws or what... most impt in mummies must love love BB... hee....:tlaugh::tlaugh::tlaugh:

 

[VroomVroomBoys]

Could my previous 2 miscarriages be the cause of the way they behave?? Maybe they didnt wanna put any hope on my current pregnancy?

There're always 2 ways to look at things ... a same glass of water on the table, some will see it as half-full while others will see it as half-empty.

In your case, I seriously feel your MIL just dun wanna put unnecessary pressure on you ... with the knowledge of your 2 miscarriages at the back of their mind.

If she's the superstitious sort, it could also be her effort not to attract attention onto your little one ... so that no "dirty things" can do harm to it, like they previously did for the past 2 times.
:biggrin: :biggrin:

To make matters worse, my own mum has passed away 6 yrs ago.. i miss her more now that im pregnant as i know she will definitely be there to take care of me.. I find myself crying coz i just miss her so much.This would be her first grandchild..

Rest assured that your mummy is looking down from up there ... she's definitely doing all she can to protect you & your little one.

But you must do your part too ... be strong, be focused ... dun waste your energy on little things that is only gonna make your pregnancy a more stressful one. Your little one will always rather you smile than you cry ... always remember that.
:wink: :wink:

 

[akachan09]

Hi akachan...Its as if people dont take us seriously after we conceived again after our miscarriages..Dats why im so thankful to have a very supportive hubby coz he's all i can depend on..ANd yes talking to people like you does help a lot..!!! Thanks for sharing and hope you will have a safe birth soon..!! :001_302::001_302:

Hi izanyzam,

Thank you for the well wishes. I hope you have a smooth pregnancy too.
Take good care of your health and be happy.

 

[akachan09]

i think most impt is our BB safe and healthy come out to this world... healthy is the most impt... so dun care abt others even if they're ur in-laws or what... most impt in mummies must love love BB... hee....:tlaugh::tlaugh::tlaugh:

Agreed. As long as our baby is born healthy and safe and we shower our love to them. It does not matter whether my in-laws treat me as their DIL or not.