Why no support from our country?

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Eastshore

New Member
Hi I am a single mum for the past 10 years.My boyfriend left me when i was six month pregnant.During that time was really very bad times for mi cos no money n supports.my mum n my friends all objected mi for wanting the child.I went to kk hospital n the first thing they know that i am a single mum(unwed).They refer me to a room to speak to a counsellor.i can still remember clearly that the counsellor was a lady n she was very rude.First question she asked me"you are so young n jobless,how are you going to support your child in future"I just told her say i am here wanting to find out the cost for giving birth not to face your rudeness.How i am going to support my child is none your business.She went on n on trying hard to convince
me that i will not be able to support my child.After that i tried calling a helpline from a pregancy crisis group from singapore.they also trying hard to convince me to give up my child for adoption.I was shocked to realize that single mum in our country is treated in this way.We were abandoned n brave enough to raise the child single-handed but yet treated like we have committed crimes.I really hope our gov can really take a look at those single mummies working hard to stay survive n support their child n we are the group that got no support from our partner n family...
 
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Eastshore

New Member
i guess so ,i ever went to see a MP last time.they can even answer me "dont you know single mum is not recongized in singapore"....
 
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Edwinie

Member
Not trying to influence votes or what, I saw the news and one of NSP's female candidates was talking about fighting for the rights of single mothers. And I read Nicole Seah's note on facebook talking about how she feels single mothers should be helped.

I'm really warmed when such problems are recognised and acknowledged. =) I see hope and hope for a change. Then more people from all walks of life can be represented in the parliament.



(I'm not siding any party here, I'm simply basing on the candidates' stand on things.)
 
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noelsmum

Member
I feel sad because single mums work really hard for their children. I've seen it with my own eyes when I was working in a neighourhood primary school. I've seen single mums making the extra effort for their children to make sure they study and have enough money and food to eat. It's hard. I applaud them for taking the stand to have their child and be responsible for the child and not rely on their parents. It's high time govt help these ladies instead of pointing to KK for them to have abortions!
 
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Carisella

Member
noelsmum said:
I feel sad because single mums work really hard for their children. I've seen it with my own eyes when I was working in a neighourhood primary school. I've seen single mums making the extra effort for their children to make sure they study and have enough money and food to eat. It's hard. I applaud them for taking the stand to have their child and be responsible for the child and not rely on their parents. It's high time govt help these ladies instead of pointing to KK for them to have abortions!
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And the worse part is mommies who have husbands but neglect their kids and say that they lost their freedom when they become pregnant young and now want to GAIN their freedom back.. this kind of mother is then call USELESS.. give them so much also no use!!
 
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Eastshore

New Member
All these while been hearing people fighting hard for the rights for single mum.But sad to say until now still don't see any green light from government.We as single mum not asking the government to spoonfeed us,and also we are not going to sit at home doing nothing n waiting for government sudsidy.We just hope that we can be recongized n give us the sudsidy that we deserved as a normal working mum.there are so many sad stories behind us that landed us in this situation.And i am sure nobody in this world would like to be a single mum/unwed.Not going to beg for anything but just hope to be given what we should be deserving,that's all.
 
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Edwinie

Member
ya! agree with you. it's not about spoonfeeding or demanding for subsidy. it's equality.

i feel if married couples get the subsidy, i don't see why not single mums. this is discrimination. they either give to all parents regardless of marital status or do not give anyone at all.

people fight very hard for the neglected groups in singapore society. but if the main party decides that it is not in their agenda, they can choose to ignore it and our policies will remain the same. that's y we need more representation and the only way to do it is for opposition voices to be in.

i really pray that after this elections, our policies and laws can be more compassionate.
 
Amulet

Amulet

Active Member
Edwinie said:
ya! agree with you. it's not about spoonfeeding or demanding for subsidy. it's equality.

i feel if married couples get the subsidy, i don't see why not single mums. this is discrimination. they either give to all parents regardless of marital status or do not give anyone at all.

people fight very hard for the neglected groups in singapore society. but if the main party decides that it is not in their agenda, they can choose to ignore it and our policies will remain the same. that's y we need more representation and the only way to do it is for opposition voices to be in.

i really pray that after this elections, our policies and laws can be more compassionate.
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hmmm.. apart from baby bonus, and 16weeks maternity leave, i don't think there are other subsidies which single moms cannot get?
 
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Edwinie

Member
actually, i think the main point is how much or what subsidy. the thing i'm against is the unequal application of policies. i don't see why there shouldn't be 16 weeks maternity leave for single mums or no baby bonus. housing issue for single mums is also another problem because of the stringent criteria in place.

i just hope everyone can progress together and leave no one behind. haha! i'm so idealistic. =X
 
Amulet

Amulet

Active Member
Edwinie said:
actually, i think the main point is how much or what subsidy. the thing i'm against is the unequal application of policies. i don't see why there shouldn't be 16 weeks maternity leave for single mums or no baby bonus. housing issue for single mums is also another problem because of the stringent criteria in place.

i just hope everyone can progress together and leave no one behind. haha! i'm so idealistic. =X
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actually i have nothing to say about the baby bonus since the government has already explained that baby BONUS is a BONUS to encourage married couples to have children in order to build a 'proper' family nucleus.. it's not a subsidy/welfare nor entitlement for having kids in singapore.. it make sense for me since no one would wan to encourage unmarried ppl to have children..

as for maternity leave, unwed mothers are entitled to 12weeks maternity leave.. this 12 weeks is paid fully by the government.. for married mothers, the last 4weeks are paid by the company, thus they leave it to the company's discretion to pay or not pay it's employee for the last 4 weeks of leave..
 
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Edwinie

Member
i agree that unwed mothers are not entitled to have baby bonus because of the reasons behind baby bonus.

as for how effective the baby bonus is, that's another issue to discuss. we want baby bonus to encourage couples who initially do not want to have a baby, to have a baby. many married couples would have wanted a baby anyway whether or not there is baby bonus. so that brings the question of why unwed mums are not included because they chose to keep rather than aborting the fetus.

i thought maternity leave is 4 months? 2 months paid by govt and 2 by company? not so sure..

i have problem with the 'proper' family nucleus as a reason behind not supporting single mums and even, gays. i don't think because of someone who is gay or a single mum would encourage others to prescribe to their lifestyle. we can also have parents who are married on paper but dysfunctional. if they are so keen to use 'proper' family nucleus as a reason, then i suggest making divorce illegal too.

there's only 1 parent supporting her child for a single mum, so i really wish that more help can be given to make their lives easier or make it on par to what married parents benefit from.

just some random thoughts. =)


p.s. just a side topic, if you are interested, i have a blog post on the issue of our fertility rate and how to tackle it. i concluded baby bonus is not a useful tool in effecting an increase in our birthrate. Hippo Thoughts: Tackling our low fertility rate
 
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Eastshore

New Member
i just feel until now government still doesn't see the whole picture.they thought by giving baby bonus,welfare or childcare sudsidy...etc,they are able to increase the birthrate in singapore.But the fact and the truth is nowadays 'proper family' with two affordable husband n wife are not willing to give birth because children to them is a lifetime stress and commitment.Sad to say that .government can keep on increasing the baby bonus ,but one thing for sure they will not be able to increase the birthrate.
In fact there was an article on the abortion rate is getting higher some time ago.i am sure half of this group is from a 'proper family', they rather choose this way than to enjoy all the benefits from government.Those single/unwed mothers who is not getting the benefits are brave enough to go through the pregnancy n try our very best to make sure our child is delivered.i know a unwed mum that went through the pregnancy alone n she even went to the hosptial alone to deliver the baby without any support from family.Until now she is still struggling to support her child with two jobs.Hopefully can see some real supports from government this year.Don't pity us just give us what we deserved...
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
erm, baby bonus is also not alot, so even my friend told me to go collect baby bonus after i marry (b4 my chils turns 6) i told them, dont bother, i brought my daughter up well enough without the baby bonus. to me, ok la, if the gov can help, then good lor, its a bonus, if they hv so much reasons n excuses, then why bother to argue. if they say NO, no matter how u complain n talk also not much use IMO.

but i do agree with eastshore, its not abt how much $$$ to gov gives for the baby bonus. they shldnt focus just on family nucleus, they shld focus more on those who wants to have children.
 
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Edwinie

Member
hi eastshore!

just curious. how did u survive for the past 10 years? you mentioned the counsellor said you have no job and no money, how did you get around the problem initially?
 
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hapieger

Member
i dont have the 2 mths maternity leave and im in a govt sector.. so to conclude, govt sector is way much sucky than private sector...
 
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Eastshore

New Member
Hi Edwinie,after i was rejected from kk hosptial,i was really lost.At that time i was already 6 months pregnant,luckily still managed to get a job helping my friend's mum at a hawker in the morning earning $800.i used my pay to see a pirvate gynea near my house every month,i was also diagnosed with high sugar level n high blood during pregnancy.my every month check up,medication,expenses depended solely on my $800 pay.Due to my high sugar level,i cant wait until 40 weeks to have a natural delivery.my gynea suggested i will have to go for a indue in 38 weeks.I got a help from one friend that willing to borrow me money to deliver the baby.i went to a pirvate hospital with my friend to pay for a deposit of $1600 before i can get a bed.In 38 weeks ,time for indue to deliver my baby,but unsuccessful.In the end after 24hrs of pain,my gynea did a C-section for me.My hospital bill came up to $8000 plus . After my confidenment i started working two jobs to pay off my debts.just finished paying 5 years ago...Finally
 
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Triquetra

Active Member
It's not about single mum not being recognized, government doesn't want to encourage unmarried people to have children.

No solution is going to be perfect and no matter what the government comes up with will have its flaws. If the government really want to increase birthrate, they can just impose ban on abortion but that way other problems will also arise.

If anyone has difficulties paying utilities etc, they can always look for the MP and if your total household income is low there are also other forms of subsidies. No?
 
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