Why so unfair

kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
I'm a single mum.. Why gov so unfair .. We also human .. Why we no edusave .. No baby bonus .. Those who can go vote .. Do tell them to help out single mummy too .. Do be fair .. Our kids also human.. Also same from any other kid .. Too bad I can't vote .. Do talk to them about it
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
I think you're not the only one that thinks this way but in our country, the title "Single Mom" is not recognized. But I think as long as you get married before your child turns 6 you might be able to still fight for it. But you've to fork out a certain amt of at least 3K to "buy" back the title of the illegitimate to make your child legitimate, it's this "illegitimate" title that makes singled parent kid different from the another.
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
I think you're not the only one that thinks this way but in our country, the title "Single Mom" is not recognized. But I think as long as you get married before your child turns 6 you might be able to still fight for it. But you've to fork out a certain amt of at least 3K to "buy" back the title of the illegitimate to make your child legitimate, it's this "illegitimate" title that makes singled parent kid different from the another.
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That y .. Some people should come out and talk about this .. Our child also human .. Can't they be more fair ... Plus now voting .. Single mummy should stand out and help single mummy ..
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
Actually I believe even before us, more of the others had already have this problem. Like the website I posted on "Young Single Mummies Fall In". People somehow even go to the extend that they cr8 a specific website to this problem but our govt still turn a deaf ear to it. That's why, everyone says Single moms have bigger responsibility, but everything will be fine with supportive family and friends. :)
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
Actually I believe even before us, more of the others had already have this problem. Like the website I posted on "Young Single Mummies Fall In". People somehow even go to the extend that they cr8 a specific website to this problem but our govt still turn a deaf ear to it. That's why, everyone says Single moms have bigger responsibility, but everything will be fine with supportive family and friends. :)
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Why can't they just be more fair .. Hais .. So gov agree to have more abortion la ..
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
kindbear91 said:
Why can't they just be more fair .. Hais .. So gov agree to have more abortion la ..
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Actually not the abortion part. Govt gives money to "well-formed" family is because they want to encourage couples to get married and have children. That's why only if parents are MARRIED the LEGITIMATE child gets all the good deals.
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
And also, abortion it's the parents' choice. Because, 1. Govt don't have to fork a single cent. 2. We spend a few thousand on abortion.
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If give birth out le also no choice .. Gov should be fair ma .. Whr can like that . If I can vote .. I sure ask them lo .. At least give half is better than nothing .. At least we are something .. Now we are nothing
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
The world is unfair in fact everything is unfair, nothing in mother earth is fair. We chose this path, all we can do is silently live with this. Unless you're really very unhappy with your son. But I guess, none would, because "Baby is the key to a happy family". ^^
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
The world is unfair in fact everything is unfair, nothing in mother earth is fair. We chose this path, all we can do is silently live with this. Unless you're really very unhappy with your son. But I guess, none would, because "Baby is the key to a happy family". ^^
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We cannot be quiet .. People will eat us up .. We never mind .. Is for our kids .. Must be fair for them lo ..
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
Yes, exactly we cannot just stand aside to eliminate or let others eliminate ourselves, the only was is to show others especially those irresponsible beasts that brought this upon us and thinks that we would die without them. Yeah that's what my parents told me too, "Go for the ROM, for the sake of the baby's future".
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
Yes, exactly we cannot just stand aside to eliminate or let others eliminate ourselves, the only was is to show others especially those irresponsible beasts that brought this upon us and thinks that we would die without them. Yeah that's what my parents told me too, "Go for the ROM, for the sake of the baby's future".
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So are u going ??
Just hope this voting can change single mummy life :)
 
pforpearlyn

pforpearlyn

New Member
Likely to be discussed, but to me maybe I still don't know the importance of it, to me so long as he is still paying for the child's maintainence and my gynae visits, I think it's fine. :O
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
pforpearlyn said:
Likely to be discussed, but to me maybe I still don't know the importance of it, to me so long as he is still paying for the child's maintainence and my gynae visits, I think it's fine. :O
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O .. Most likely will marry la :) good luck than .. Haha :) mine don't even care .. He happy himself can le lol
 
E

Edwinie

Member
systems and rules are created by human. nothing is fixed, hence systems and rules can be changed.

for the past 5 years, PAP has more than 2-third of the parliamentary seats. that's y, anything they want to pass or do not want to pass, they can choose. if they think the state should not bother about single mums, then they won't do anything.

MPs and the various parties bring to parliament their own set of beliefs, their different stand on the issues in singapore. for the past 5 years, there is a one-party government, meaning that all policies will be based on the party's beliefs, views of the society, the economy and their own motives. hence, many sections of singapore is neglected, or rather, not represented in parliament.

i do agree that the current system is really unfair to single mums.. the argument always goes like if they give, govt is encouraging more single mums. this argument sounds ridiculous to me.

let's imagine right now, children with single mums and married mums are treated equally. so now, i am not married and i found out i am pregnant. what will i do? will i keep the baby because of the govt support? i don't think so. govt support is less than 5% of the effort needed to raise a child. babies need our time, effort, and the subsidy given by govt covers only a small sum! govt subsidy lightens some of the load. but majority is still carried by the mum.

it's a major decision to choose to keep or abort the child. for me, when i found out i was pregnant, i was evaluating whether to keep or abort. i asked my family for support, made plans on who is going to help me take care, my studies and career plans, where the money come from, etc etc.. govt subsidies is a very very small part in influencing whether to keep or abort. in the end i married my bf. (we love each other, it's a matter of time when we get married. so i'm quite lucky.)

if a mum-to-be makes a decision to keep the baby or even worse, try to get pregnant just to get that govt subsidy, then i think her life will be very unhappy and will be burdened by a child which she don't love. the mum is either just plain stupid or simply a retard. i will have nothing to say if this really really happens. chances are it will be once in maybe.. 50 years?

so my conclusion is, giving single parents subsidy will not encourage people to want to be single mums. the main point of subsidy is to lighten the load of all parents and to give better access to education for all children regardless of who their parents are. let's strive for a Singapore for Singaporeans. =)
 
kindbear91

kindbear91

New Member
Edwinie said:
systems and rules are created by human. nothing is fixed, hence systems and rules can be changed.

for the past 5 years, PAP has more than 2-third of the parliamentary seats. that's y, anything they want to pass or do not want to pass, they can choose. if they think the state should not bother about single mums, then they won't do anything.

MPs and the various parties bring to parliament their own set of beliefs, their different stand on the issues in singapore. for the past 5 years, there is





Ya .. Why people will have the thinking gov be fair is to encourage .. .. Just that wan our kid to think they are not different than others ..
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E

Edwinie

Member
the current unfairness simply encourages discrimination against single mums. we are all Singaporeans. i don't see why this should be the case when implementing policies.
 
Ting

Ting

Well-Known Member
to be honest, maybe you see it as unfair, but somehow, i believe the gov have their reasons for it. imagine if all women, young or old(er) just want to have the child, and not marry the men at all.... wont it create other issues? other than that, i feel that, the gov is encouraging couples to have children, when they are READY, not just go arnd asking couples to POP babies.
i do not blame the gov in my case, becos when i have my child, i wasnt ready at all. i didnt even save enough money, i didnt finish up to the education level i want to, i just wasnt prepared. so, who do i blame but myself? IF i was prepared to have a child, i wouldn't even need the $$$ from the gov. how much is it only? i feel that the gov encourage married couples to have children is bcos they are already old enough (i believe most couples have already started working and saved a sum of $$$) and are working, so that they can afford to have a child. like the word baby bonus, the extra $$$ the gov is a BONUS. its not to psycho them into having a child. we can do our math, how much n how long can the baby bonus last? prob wont even go past the first half yr.

i believe every country have their laws. rules and regulations, its not just possible to change the rules overnight, bcos as asians are still more conservative, and though the no. of single mums are increasing, they are still considered a minority in the society. but compared to many yrs ago, there have been more help going on for single mums, you just need to source them out. there is one thing i would want to point out, n that is for those, who family and friends dont bother to help you, what more shld you expect from the gov?

to be honest, in the beginning, i also do feel that the gov is being unfair and discriminating against single mums, but as time passes by, i get to understand more and i find that, besides no baby bonus,(4 months) maternity leave and edusave (not sure about this one in fact), there arent really other things diff from married couples already. i still get subisides of other forms to help me cope.
 
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