Worth having a 3rd child?

[zputriz]

I'm a Sahm, 27yo and hv 2 kids below 5 ( 3+ and 20mth old respectively).. Hubby keen on 3rd one but I'm not so sure I'm ready for it.. I'm not on any contraceptives, but I'm thinking on having one.. I'm skeptical about having another one due to financial instability n my own ability to care for 3 young ones.. Any mummies w small kids with inputs on this issue?

 

[bluebell]

I have three age 5,3,2

sometimes it is very hard, I have to depend on my oldest who is still so young and beacuse I cant be in three places at once he misses out on alot of things,
I feel my middle child also does not get enough attention, but this is how I feel she seems to be just fine and loves her younger brother,
It is also another one to worry about,
and looking after three is harder then two, I see my friends having more freedom as their kids are starting to get older, and I have mine clinging of me everywhere I go!
cost side I have not had to buy anything as I already have it all but doctors appoinments etc can add up and I also think of schooling and other classes that they will miss out on beacuse we just cant afford to put three into extra classes.
They also fight at times and my house is very noisy!

do I have any regrets having a third NOT AT ALL the love just expands with every child, they always have a playmate someone to stick up for them, seem to be very happy, I love it and I also look to when they are older and can be part of a big family support each other more grand children for me, They do not stay small for long.

 

[Mummy to Baby V]

I've a 2+ year old and expecting a baby end this year. SAHM moved to KL, where many good quality things are expensive because hubby earns in ringgit, not S$. Both of us come from families of 3 children, so we're planning to have 3. Spaced apart 2-3 years so that easier in me.

Most things can be handed down. I practice extended breastfeeding and cloth diapering (saves a lot), so additional costs are mainly medical, food and classes. Currently, I'm planning to homeschool till 6 years old since I like teaching young children, so just need to spend on enrichment classes. If budget is tight, can do with only 1 very necessary class.

Of course, if you think you'd be very stretched financially and mentally, then space children out a bit more?

 

[zputriz]

Hi mummies thks for yr inputs as for spacing out more... I'm thinking of closing my baby factory by 30.. So dats y, I told my hubby I'm serious abt it.. It's sad cos some family n friends told me I shdnt, but when i fun get much help interms of babysitting or finance, it's smtg that I hv told myself I have to make some major decisions on this issue ;'( like u all mentioned, when we hv only our dearest husband as e sole breadwinner, we hv to cut corners everwhr.. I wldnt say I'm in bad financial situation but it helps if I can go out n do even part time jobs at times.. But it's impossible cos when I finally have one, I hv to send my kids to a plc like half an hr away.. In laws working, my mum can't help... No movie dates, no friends and no life.. Haha! But again my main concern is finance as well as whether I can provide enuf time for each of them n myself.. Again, we Muslims believe that with every child comes Prosperity, each one will bring blessing to his or her parents.. It's only I who can choose which path I must take thks again ladies for yr inputs!!

 

[shopaholic]

I had my 3rd child when my elder 2 were 6 and 4yo respectively. They were my good helpers, such as helping to bring a diaper, "entertain" their little brother who was in the playpen etc, while I busied myself with some chores in the kitchen. Hence, I do agree on spacing out a bit more before you hv your 3rd one, it will be less taxing and your elder 2 get more independent.

To be honest, my 3rd one was somewhat unplanned and my first feeling was anguish on how I was going to cope with 3. I am a full-time working mum with no maid, so I need day-time help to look after the baby and I also wonder if I could cope at night when I bring them all home. As it turned out, things werent that bad and my little boy is now 20mths old already. If anyone asked me if I regret my decision, my firm reply will be NO. Like you mentioned, babies are blessings to us and I am so glad my little boy came into our lives. He has brought lots of laughter, joy and love to us.

Financially, there is always baby bonus to help out. I think cash is $6k for 3rd child and you can contribute to CDA for govt to match dollar for dollar up to $12k. I used CDA for my kids when they visit the doctors at approved clinics, so I equate that to paying half price!

 

[zputriz]

hi shopaholic

wow i salute u man! back then i used to send my first boy to a caregiver while wking pt time.. den w 2, i give up.. when im so attached to the kids, n they r too.. i cnt bear to send them away.. cos i moved out, n in a new neighbourhd, i dunno any1.. n maid is another issue.. maid agencies req 30k yrly income.. n to get 1, some nid 2 mths cpf contributions. so troublesome!! who can care for my kids for the few mths... ive tried interviews, n i did get job opportunities cos i hv relevant experience in the teaching field.. but when i feel like im ready to wrk, somehow my kids arent..

n reg cda, i agree me utilising it.. cos my son will eventually get it (he was born in feb 08, b4 govt give 1st child cda acct), im hoping it will help out in terms of finance more unlike now with jus my girl's cda acct.. im stil at the x rd.. to hv or not to hv is the qn!! haha..

i wonder if i realli space out.. m i too old?? my mum in law hopes that i don give birth anymore.. cos when i was pregnt w my daughter, she "almost died"! when i gave birth to my son, she told me to close factory.. i told her i m considering more but not so early.. den a yr later, i conceived my daughter after a miscarriage.. at that point i was quite depressed.. working and goin to n fro with my son to send him to the caregiver's place.. i was pretty offended by my mil, den i only revealed to her (hubby told her) in my 5th mth pregnancy.. n then i was staying in e same hsehold as my in laws.. wonder y she never saw my tummy!! i was pretty bad rite? so now.. imin my own hse, has every rite tomake decision, n yet im skeptical.. but since u all makes it possible, im more positive abt it too!!

 

[shopaholic]

Oh, you are definitely not old!! I had my first child when I was 27yo and now, you're already a mother of 2 at the same age! If you hv an inclination to hv a 3rd child, then go for it. Perhaps not now, but at a time when you and your husband feel more comfortable with. With a baby and 2 elder kids, the initial period may be tough as we adjust to a different routine plus demands of a new baby, but they grow so fast and before you know it, they will start walking, running, talking and learn to do things by themselves!

I must share that in the beginning, I feel so tired taking care of 3 kids plus juggling a full-time job. My hubby is the one encouraging and keeping me going. At times, I may even lose my temper at him! *guilty* But thankfully, I got spousal support from him and my inlaws also offered to help me take care of baby, so we managed to pull through and thus, here we are today.

Glad you feel positive abt having one more child. I wish you and family the best! Cheers.