Would you leave your baby unattended when they cry?

[Elmoden]

Dear mummies,

Will you deliberately not to carry your baby when they are crying? I had heated arguments with my hubby who insisted not to carry my 3 months old son immediately to his cries. But how long should I wait? My experiences were as soon as I picked him up, he gradually calm down and stopped his cries. My hubby and BIL said I had spoilt him by carrying him so often. It angered me whenever I heard such comments. To me, babies spent more than 12 hours on (lying back) sleeping position. It is not surprise that they want to be carried when they are awake. Furthermore, I only carry my son when he gets cranky in lying down position. Am I wrong to do it?
Any mummies would like to advise please?

 

[STmummy]

Both you and hubby are not wrong. But it really depends on how bad the crying is. Sometimes they cry cos bored or need attention. Some are genuinely upset and needs comfort and touch.
My son when he was a baby, does not like to lie down flat. I will let him lie down on cushions or pillow on an upright position and play with him. You can try such position rather then letting your baby always lie down flat, gets really boring thus will cry for your attention. If not I also will let my son sit on those elevated netted seat and place him by the window (mine is full glass window panel) and let him enjoy the view outside, while talking to him. But of cos will also be carrying him to see anything so as to stimulate his senses. Try not to only carry when he cries, can carry him and play with him even when he is happy. So that he will not associate carrying to crying. but of cos there are times that our babies just need comfort and love from us when they are genuinely upset and need us to carry.

I read somewhere that babies below 6 months needs lots of comfort and if we tend to their needs of touch and comfort more frequently, they will grow up to be a friendly and confident toddler. I followed this advice, my son is now 2 yr + and he is a very friendly and confident boy. Not sure if it is really related but I don't see any harm done on him.

But rem do not over-carry, Cos I witness babies and toddlers which are deprived from the opportunity to learn to crawl or walk cos parent/ grandparent just keep carrying them. Once my son starts to crawl, I just let him roam freely at home. He crawls at 7 mths and walks at 12 mths. His cousin (due to lack of stimulation - overcarry by Parent & grandparents-inlaw), crawls so much later and only starts walking at 18 mth.

 

[Carisella]

I'm having my first child due in Sept and my mother in law was like telling me, if baby cry, don't care her, just let her cry.. if we go carry her, she'll get used to it.. I was quite pissed and angry and haven't talked to her since then.

I was like, baby can only cry to communicate to us since they can't really speak or tell us what they want, so of cos they will cry.. they want milk, they poop, they feel uncomfortable, they can't say out to u yet so they cry.. that's their only form of communications currently.. I actually told my husband what his mom said and he actually sided with her and when i explained to him why i am so angry and pissed, then he felt what i said was logical.

We committed ourselves to having a child, she cry, first priority is her already..

But of cos like what STmummy said, when baby start and learn how to crawl, we must start to let go and let them learn how to balance on their own already and of cos the utmost safety is keeping the area child-friendly

 

[STmummy]

Of cos my suggestions are only applicable after the basic needs of the baby are met (as mentioned by Carisella).

Carisella: now your MIL say this, when baby cries she may be the first to rush to carry her. Most old folks are like that. Don't make yourself upset. Must stay and think positive for the pregnancy.

 

[Carisella]

Of cos my suggestions are only applicable after the basic needs of the baby are met (as mentioned by Carisella).

Carisella: now your MIL say this, when baby cries she may be the first to rush to carry her. Most old folks are like that. Don't make yourself upset. Must stay and think positive for the pregnancy.

Not even gonna let her touch the baby.. I don't stay with her, so it's possible to not let her go near the baby.. Hubby already knows me and mil got bad blood.. And hubby also acknowledge most of the reasons im upset with her is due to her illogical reasonings.. Thus hubby also got defend me as and when necessary ..

 

[Elmoden]

Not even gonna let her touch the baby.. I dont't stay with her, so it's possible to not let her go near the baby.. Hubby already knows me and mother in law got bad blood.. And hubby also acknowledge most of the reasons im upset with her is due to her illogical reasonings.. Thus hubby also got defend me as and when necessary ..

Thanks for the sharing STmummy! I'm living in an old HDB flat that doesn't have full glass panel window. But it will be an useful point to note because it reminds me that he kept looking out of the car window when we were in the car. I had tried sitting my baby on sofa and talked to him and he enjoyed it. I also tried sitting him on walker but he don't really like.

Carisella, you are so fortunate that your hubby sides you. Guess what my hubby said when our son cry? "Let him cry. That is our family way to teach the baby."
Remember to stay happy and eat more nutritious food. Overall, I am enjoying motherhood for these 3 months even though I'm deprived of sleep everyday. I am sure you will enjoy motherhood as much as I do! =D

 

[echua]

Hi all,

my mummy too. she always remind us not to keep carrying baby. if not baby will get use with being carry around. but im so excited about hearing my baby first cry soon! hehehe ancing_wub:

 

[adaddy]

Dear mummies,

Will you deliberately not to carry your baby when they are crying? I had heated arguments with my hubby who insisted not to carry my 3 months old son immediately to his cries. But how long should I wait? My experiences were as soon as I picked him up, he gradually calm down and stopped his cries. My hubby and BIL said I had spoilt him by carrying him so often. It angered me whenever I heard such comments. To me, babies spent more than 12 hours on (lying back) sleeping position. It is not surprise that they want to be carried when they are awake. Furthermore, I only carry my son when he gets cranky in lying down position. Am I wrong to do it?
Any mummies would like to advise please?

it really depends you see how your baby cries, sometimes they cry to seek the attention, well, your 6th sense as a mother can feel it
happened to our first & the 2nd one

so, when they cry, we won't carrying the baby straight away, but see first how they cry.
sometimes we just told the baby.. "don't worry (daddy/mummy) is here"
then suddenly they calm down.

What the baby can do for now is just crying, and don't think that they don't have the intelligence.
They test out by crying, once, twice and so on... and somehow they felt that by crying someone will look after them,
they will continue

this is not only happen to the infant, even a toddler, especially during their meal time, they tried to cry or do not want to eat the food we prepare,
when we sat them in the high chair, etc., then let it be, let them skip their meal, they won't die, but surely they will hungry
the next meal time, they will eat

 

[XenXuan]

I will see if the basic needs r met then I will allow my baby to crying n not carry them.. Actually after 1st week of delivery,parents ESP mom should be able to difference which cryings r basic needs(milk,poop,sick,uncomfty) n bored/attention seeking.. Newborns tends to seek cuddles more as they r still adapting to the outside environment.. For me,usually I won't immediate rush to answer my baby's cryings,even if it's hunger crying for milk.. I 1 my kids to learn what is patience from young n not everything comes to them when they cry for it..

 

[babycar]

Well that depends but based on my own experience, I'm lucky enough that my baby cries only because she's hungry.

 

[Mummy to Baby V]

My hubby is the more sensitive one and wants to respond to baby to soothe him once he cried.
I learnt from his patience and started soothing baby more.
Our boy was very gassy and cried a lot at 2 months old, often 2-6 a.m., even when carried.
Hubby and I took turns carrying and comforting him.

Then, I learn to use a baby sling and "wore" him several hours a day in the house, talking to him, explaining what I see / hear, etc.
Also, lots of tummy time when he's awake -- different angle of seeing the world.
Put him in a rocker chair, read, sing, play with him.

When the gassiness finally went away, he grew into a happy baby.
Even as a 2+ years old toddler now, he's often in good mood and is quite humorous.
I continue to hug and kiss him a lot, when he shows good behaviour.
When he whines or cries, I ask him to calm down, breathe properly first, then I'd carry him close to comfort him.