dh engage with prostitues

[babylove]

not sure why, but today is his first day back to work.. after long medical leave.. he seems so different, this morning... now my mind starts to sway again, is he with another woman again..

my hubby use to be a family man, he comes home punctually , most of the times.. only on two occassion, once, he claim he needs to stay back office to clear some work, (till 11pm) and the other, he had a mtg with his boss till 3am .. and 3 occassion (during office hours)...

1st occassion - Woman A
2nd & 3rd occassion - Woman B..

imagine that? is about 1 mth after i found out the affairs, he dont seem repented, he dont seems sad.. at most he just tell me his wound hurts.. thanks for letting me to vent out my feeling here.. i have not share with any close friends except my family members... i wish i could talk to someone, but i feel embarrasse .. dont think is something we would like others to know right...

 

[babylove]

Fei Yue FSC. My cousin-in-law is a counsellor. But she kept he rpromise to keep the matter to herself all these years.

He has so many OT that I suspect he's sick of seeing me everyday that why prefer to stay in office to work & surf net & leave DS to me alone. Come home bathe & sleep only.

I also want to doll myself up. But no $$$ & time. Dress easy so that comfy for me to move around.......

i know what u meant.. i have been saving for my 4 kids.. they are so young, 6,4,3,2.... but what did i get in return? ...

 

[elaine01]

i know what u meant.. i have been saving for my 4 kids.. they are so young, 6,4,3,2.... but what did i get in return? ...

i think i shld start to doll myself up. if got men fancy, see if he jealous & anxious or not..........no point be his sallow women & let him make merry outside.

 

[xiaodaisy]

no ugly women in tis world babes, its just we always wanna save e best for kids n not making dh working so hard.. but neverless have to doll up once a while in occasions to let dh know ur still attrative, so he will gan keong mah haha.. sometimes guys do want so surprise wan =) dont tink too much, n be strong ok ? all e best to u

 

[babylove]

no ugly women in tis world babes, its just we always wanna save e best for kids n not making dh working so hard.. but neverless have to doll up once a while in occasions to let dh know ur still attrative, so he will gan keong mah haha.. sometimes guys do want so surprise wan =) dont tink too much, n be strong ok ? all e best to u

thanks....

 

[tommyBoi]

babylove, if u need someone to talk to, I can be there for u.
Look at the more positive side, life is short.

 

[LoVeS]

we did engage someone to counsell us. i know i still love him but it hurts badly everytime we ML & reminds me that DH has touched another woman.

ger, u should 4get abt tis matter since u still love him n already forgiven him. Why still keep it in memory? i knw it hard BUT keep trying, it same as having hatred towards a person, after many yrs of hating sum1 or rmb unhappy things at the end of the day IT IS u who is suffering. Why choose to suffer when u can choose to live ur life happy? Anyway it is u urself can help urself coz others can always advice but end of the day it is u who choose to heed advices or not. Cheer up!~

 

[LoVeS]

xiaodaisy : i agree with the uncle too, is better for them to engage in pros than affair.. cause affair=feelings

elaine01 : can i ask which counsellor did u and ur hubby goes to?.. too be frank, my trust for him is 0% now... cant bring myself to trust him anymore..

tommyBoi : i believe that he did not have sex with his sex (1 only).. we are childhood friends..

LoVeS : thanks for understanding me, i feel so hurt and depressed, i have lost even the basic confidence in myself (my looks, dressing, and everything in me)..

Mrs Xie : i decided to forgive him becos of my love for him.. we have been together for 20years, married for 10years.. (more than 2/3 of my life)

shopaholic : thanks i know.. but i m still trying to forgive and forget.. is really difficult.. not easy..

thanks to all... i wish i could just forget everything.. yesterday was at the Holy Communion, to admit our sins and seek Him for forgiveness.. I have decided to forgive him totally now and will try to forget the incident, is tought.. i ask dh for his support and patience too.. he had ask for 2 SEX services from 2 different woman from Thailand.. not one.. we used to have sex abt once a week.. now i tried to submit to him and accomodate him, and now is abt 3-4 times a week... he has high sex crave.. he can have them daily.. what can i do? we have 4 young kids, i m a working mother.. no maid, so after work i need to spend time with my kids..

ger dun mind me saying WHY muz u submit to him? U r not a sex machine or wat leh. Does he marry a wife juz to haf sex or to love her? Anyway it is gd to hear tt u will try to 4get the incident coz it will benefit u IF nt u will suffer frm those bad memory if u dun wan to 4get the incident at all. 1 more point i think he really need to haf a proper tok wif u coz he haf high sex drive doesnt mean u muz submit or accommodate wat he wans leh as he needs to put himself in ur shoes n tink why u dun wan to do it. For a couple it is ML not SEX session leh, ML = both willing n enjoy it while sex session it more like he is the one enjoying while duno or choose not to knw partner dun wan lor.

 

[LoVeS]

not sure why, but today is his first day back to work.. after long medical leave.. he seems so different, this morning... now my mind starts to sway again, is he with another woman again..

my hubby use to be a family man, he comes home punctually , most of the times.. only on two occassion, once, he claim he needs to stay back office to clear some work, (till 11pm) and the other, he had a mtg with his boss till 3am .. and 3 occassion (during office hours)...

1st occassion - Woman A
2nd & 3rd occassion - Woman B..

imagine that? is about 1 mth after i found out the affairs, he dont seem repented, he dont seems sad.. at most he just tell me his wound hurts.. thanks for letting me to vent out my feeling here.. i have not share with any close friends except my family members... i wish i could talk to someone, but i feel embarrasse .. dont think is something we would like others to know right...

He might b sad or repenting which we might not knw BUT to me from wat i stated previously on my post he doesnt seem to b sincere on his apology for making such mistake while saying it ur wrong for rejecting ML session wif him so he go for PROS. To me it is an xcuse n if sum1 is really sincere on his/her apology, they wont even say it is a reason cause by me.

My dh aso neglected me very badly for a long period BUT does tt mean i got the rite to go fling or affair n say "sorry it my fault but it is bcoz u neglect me so i went for affair" When there is a prob the couple should tok out abt it n even communicate doesnt works, there r still many other ways instead help urself make xcuse to go do mistakes.

 

[Mrs Xie]

no ugly women in tis world babes, its just we always wanna save e best for kids n not making dh working so hard.. but neverless have to doll up once a while in occasions to let dh know ur still attrative, so he will gan keong mah haha.. sometimes guys do want so surprise wan =) dont tink too much, n be strong ok ? all e best to u

I Like This...... :red::red::red:

 

[aishah_28]

I understand how u feel? I still have difficulty trusting my dh and I can't bring myself to forgive him. Atleast yr dh admitted his mistakes but mine didnt.

 

[elaine01]

I understand how u feel? I still have difficulty trusting my dh and I can't bring myself to forgive him. Atleast yr dh admitted his mistakes but mine didnt.

the doc who tested our blood also told me this. there're men out there who had ONS & brought the deadly virus to their partners & their partners died w/o knowing how they got it!

 

[justmint]

gal,
I understand how you feel. I was betrayed once from someone I trusted 100% & with my life.

He admitted hes wrong, nv to do it again.
He promise he'll not do it again.
He reports where he goes all the time.
Be very attentive...But that doesnt mean he is forgiven...
this scar (betrayal) I receive from him will be with me to my death.

Maybe you should remind him that although you have forgiven him, doesn't mean that your memory abt this incident is gone. It'll always be in your heart & mind...it's like a burnt mark..don't expect immediate forgiven & forget....cos like a wound, it takes time to heal. Even if it has healed, it'll leave scar too.

For you to feel better about it, he has to put in effort to prove that he really loves this family & you. Show LOVE. Not just bullshi*t.

He has to earn his trust.

Not just a sorry or a cut for you & thats it, he has redemed his sin...thats not so easy...cos what he has is superficial..what you have is not.

I can tell you, until now I havent fully forgiven him.
It just hurts too much.

As for the sex part you give...he should earn for it..not want then take it from you. I think if he do some nice things to earn for it, the hatred you have for him won't be as bad as he just do it with you cos of his needs.

 

[Leanne]

Tell you. If my man dares to do sucha thing, be it thai prostitutes or local, as long sleep ANOTHER WOMAN, he's OUT OF MY LIFE. For good.

 

[elaine01]

Tell you. If my man dares to do sucha thing, be it thai prostitutes or local, as long sleep ANOTHER WOMAN, he's OUT OF MY LIFE. For good.

but if the love for him is still there, you'll hesitate.........

i did.

he even asked me if i tot of divorce.
he INITIATED divorce of he catches HIV. once he has HIV, he has no more rights.

am glad he's clear & we have a healthy boy..................

 

[xiaodaisy]

Tell you. If my man dares to do sucha thing, be it thai prostitutes or local, as long sleep ANOTHER WOMAN, he's OUT OF MY LIFE. For good.

words are easy to say, but tings really happen r u able to really do tat ?? we only will say we do tis n do tat but wen tings really happen i dont tink ur able loh, tings is different for gf bf n married couples.. married couples wif kids is more harder loh, dey have to tink for kids also..

 

[LoVeS]

words are easy to say, but tings really happen r u able to really do tat ?? we only will say we do tis n do tat but wen tings really happen i dont tink ur able loh, tings is different for gf bf n married couples.. married couples wif kids is more harder loh, dey have to tink for kids also..

Yes i totally agree tt words r always easy whereby action is always hard. It easy to advice ppl but when happen on ourselves will b a totally diff thing.

 

[babylove]

thanks everyone.. we had a tough month, on and off there is argument. We talk abt divorce one and off.. he will ask for forgiveness, and later few days later, when he is tired of this relationship, he also will initiate divorce.. i m so tired now.

yesterday, he shared with me that he might need to go thailand for 1 day conference coming saturday. I felt so sad.. he said he told the boss if he can ask his RO for permission. I told him, i leave it to him to decide.. he ask me to join in for the trip, i told him i wish i could.. I also wish to forgive him(the pastor prayed for me just the day before for heart of forgivness towards him).

this morning, i ask him if the trip is confirmed. he told me no, he will email the boss to say he can go later when he back to office, if he needs to go.. but i went to check his email secretly .. he already send the email out this morning.. why is he lying to me again?

 

[elaine01]

thanks everyone.. we had a tough month, on and off there is argument. We talk abt divorce one and off.. he will ask for forgiveness, and later few days later, when he is tired of this relationship, he also will initiate divorce.. i m so tired now.

yesterday, he shared with me that he might need to go thailand for 1 day conference coming saturday. I felt so sad.. he said he told the boss if he can ask his RO for permission. I told him, i leave it to him to decide.. he ask me to join in for the trip, i told him i wish i could.. I also wish to forgive him(the pastor prayed for me just the day before for heart of forgivness towards him).

this morning, i ask him if the trip is confirmed. he told me no, he will email the boss to say he can go later when he back to office, if he needs to go.. but i went to check his email secretly .. he already send the email out this morning.. why is he lying to me again?

if i were you, i wud choose not to check his persoanl stuff. let him decide to lie or to tell the truth. sometimes not knowing the truth is a blessing in disguise.

i told DH that he can fool around all he want. BUT DONT BRING ANY DEADLY DISEASE BACK TO US.

 

[xiaodaisy]

thanks everyone.. we had a tough month, on and off there is argument. We talk abt divorce one and off.. he will ask for forgiveness, and later few days later, when he is tired of this relationship, he also will initiate divorce.. i m so tired now.

yesterday, he shared with me that he might need to go thailand for 1 day conference coming saturday. I felt so sad.. he said he told the boss if he can ask his RO for permission. I told him, i leave it to him to decide.. he ask me to join in for the trip, i told him i wish i could.. I also wish to forgive him(the pastor prayed for me just the day before for heart of forgivness towards him).

this morning, i ask him if the trip is confirmed. he told me no, he will email the boss to say he can go later when he back to office, if he needs to go.. but i went to check his email secretly .. he already send the email out this morning.. why is he lying to me again?

if he ask u to join den go ahead, find someone to help u look after e kids since only for 1 day, cos he know u cant go tats why he say so.. but since he ask find ways to follow him loh..

for lies, if u wanna know i tink confront him else .. dont check cos wen u check already, n u dont wanna ask him.. u will feel terrible urself, so wat for make urself suffer.. if u check n confront him or else TRY to trust him, cos basic trust in e most important ting in marriage ..

i know he have lie to u thus u are scare on trusting him but tats e only way out, would u rather ease ur heart to trust him rather den being worried everyday of him going to find women all tis.. do u tink u would feel better in tat way ? or in e first way ??

e following road u have to choose urself, to continue u have to somehow trust him a little den asking everyday, mostly guys dont like wifes to keep asking abt his whereabouts de.. i mean mostly lah, maybe our TB daddy likes LOL haha ...

btw do take care =) cny is coming, enjoy e season happily wif ur family .. so dont worry to much, if he truly loves u n e kids, he wont do tat again anymore =D dont make urself living in paraniod(donno how to spell haha) cheer up kk :tlaugh: